On this episode of the U Up? podcast, Jordana and Jared wade into the complex territory of knowing when to walk away from a dating partner. They unpack a challenging situation where, after five months together, a woman seeks commitment from her boyfriend who is hesitant due to past relationship trauma. The hosts offer insights on navigating emotional unavailability and avoiding settling when needs go unmet.
Jordana shares a humorous story involving a memorable run-in with a tree before a date that left her sporting a sizable bruise. The hosts also recap their successful Valentine's mixer, dishing advice through games dissecting dating red flags and dealbreakers like a husband plagiarizing a Valentine's card. With a lighthearted yet empathetic approach, this episode provides thought-provoking guidance for modern dating dilemmas.
Sign up for Shortform to access the whole episode summary along with additional materials like counterarguments and context.
After five months of dating, a woman seeks commitment from her partner, leading to a heartfelt and vulnerable conversation. He is happy, rating his contentment at nine out of ten, but is haunted by the fear of making a wrong commitment choice as in the past, hence his hesitation to express affection even on Valentine's Day. Faced with his uncertainty, she states her need for a committed relationship and her readiness to move on if he cannot provide that. Jordana and Jared from the podcast discuss that his reluctance could stem from societal expectations or a lack of strong feelings. Despite an emotional dialogue, the woman feels closure, acknowledging the slim chance of the relationship progressing.
Jordana recounts how, at approximately 25 years old, she collided with a tree while texting and not paying attention to her path in New York City. The mishap resulted in her falling and a bystander coming to her aid. She suffered a significant bruise on her forehead but proceeded to cover it with makeup for her date. Jordana jokes about the memorable size of the bruise which still has a place in her favorite pictures, with Jared's reaction affirming the extent of the memorable collision.
Jared and Jordana review the Valentine's mixer that turned out to be a great success, with Coopers Craft and Kitchen providing an ideal setting. The venue offered a comfortable atmosphere conducive to mingling, with attendees enjoying the unique icebreakers provided through their name tags. Although the event was enjoyed, more male attendees were desired for a balanced mix. Subscribers had first access, suggesting a community feel among fans, and the potential for future events appears promising.
Jordana and Jared offer insights on dating an emotionally unavailable man with commitment fears due to past failures. The woman has communicated the need for a relationship and stands ready to focus elsewhere if her partner's hesitancy persists. The podcast hosts suggest that while the man may need individual growth to overcome his block, the woman must avoid succumbing to pressure or neglecting her needs in the process.
The host's segment "Red Flag or Dealbreaker?" tackles listener scenarios. A guy with an unexplained black eye from a drunken accident is deemed a red flag, potentially escalating to a dealbreaker if left unaddressed. In another scenario, a husband plagiarizes a Valentine's Day card text, which is seen as a red flag for the lack of effort and personalization, touching upon the importance of making gestures feel unique in a relationship.
1-Page Summary
A woman, after dating a guy for five months, confronts him about his feelings and desire for commitment, leading to an emotional discussion about their future.
The conversation took place in an atmosphere filled with vulnerability and emotion.
The guy professed to be very content with their interactions, rating his happiness at nine out of ten. However, he shared his anxiety about making a commitment due to fear of choosing "the wrong one" again. His apprehensions were illuminated when he revealed that his hesitance to demonstrate affection on Valentine's Day stemmed from a worry that it might suggest he was ready for a deeper commitment than he actually was.
When pushed for clarity on where they stood, the woman asserted her need for a relationship and expressed that she must realign her focus towards those who share her aspirations if he cannot fulfill her desire for an official commitment. This ultimatum led to an extended conversation where they exchanged emotions and worries until the early morning, trying to find common ground.
The hosts, Jordana Abraham and Jared Freid, weigh in on the situation discussing the possibility that the man’s reluctance is not solely based ...
An update on asking a guy to be official
Jordana shares an amusing yet unfortunate incident that occurred to her around the age of 25, involving a tree on the famously tree-sparse streets of New York City. She was walking and texting with loud music in her ears, leading her to collide with one of the few trees lining the sidewalk. The impact was so intense that Jordana ended up falling to the ground, prompting a concerned bystander to check on her well-being.
Jordana admits to not being the most vigilant when it comes to her surroundings, often distracted and having once carried poor street smarts with a tendency to lose her way when coming out of subway stations.
The incident resulted in Jordana receiving a bruise on her forehead, so large that she described it as being shaped like a continent. Despite this, she attempted to cover it with a significant amount of makeup before proceeding to her ...
Jordana's story of walking into a tree before a date
...
The You Up Valentine's mixer was a notable success, attracting an enthusiastic crowd, creating a lively atmosphere, and taking place in a superb venue.
Jared Freid and Jordana Abraham provided a recap of their recent Valentine's mixer, which has garnered quite a positive response both from attendees and the hosts themselves. Despite Jared's initial apprehension about such events often being hit-or-miss—and more often a miss—the mixer turned out to be an undisputed hit.
The choice of venue, Coopers Craft and Kitchen, was a highlight. Jared and Jordana both praised Coopers for its great lighting which is ideal for a first date, the good vibe that's animated but not overcrowded, and its overall comfort as a place to relax with a drink.
The people at the mixer received commendations for being good looking, fun, and friendly. The unique name tags everyone wore not only displayed their name but also their celebrity crush and a topic they like to rant about. This quirky twist likely aided in breaking the ice and encouraging conversations among the attendees.
Jordana mentioned a big week that included the Valentine's mixer, with Jared inquiring if Candace takes ownership of that event to which Jordana responded affirmatively, saying, "You crushed it." The success of the event was palpable in terms of people mingling and enjoying each other's company in a physical space, which Jared equated to guests enjoying a large, personal celebration.
Despite the overall triumph of the mixer, one notable piece of feedback was the disproportionate number of women attendees, with many expressing a wish for more men to be present. This sentiment highlights an area of potential improvement for future mixers to ensure a m ...
Recap of the You Up Valentine's mixer
When dating a man who is emotionally unavailable due to fear of commitment from past failures, it's important to navigate the relationship with open communication and clear boundaries.
The man's fear of making the wrong choice again with commitment may be negatively impacting the relationship. Such fears can lead to him being emotionally unavailable as he strives to avoid past mistakes.
The woman has effectively communicated her desire for a committed relationship. She has set a clear boundary, indicating that if her partner cannot meet her needs, she will refocus her energy elsewhere, which is crucial in ensuring her own emotional well-being.
Jared and Jordana point out the frustration of dating someone content in the relationship yet held back by an internal block when it comes to committing. Jared suggests that this individual might need to work through their issues independently, as tackling them within the relationship could unfairly burden the partner.
Jared Freid adds that men often don't support each other in their fear of commitment, which can ...
Advice for a woman dating a man who is emotionally unavailable
During a podcast discussion, Jordana Abraham and Jared Freid weighed in on various relationship scenarios that might raise red flags or signal dealbreakers.
In their segment "Red Flag Deal Breaker," Jordana and Jared considered a scenario submitted by a listener. This listener had been dating a guy for several months and was surprised when he turned up at a museum date with a black eye, which only became apparent under better lighting. The reason for the injury was revealed after inquiry: he got it after hitting his head on the toilet while vomiting from a work party blackout. Jordana posits that a guy showing up on a date with an unexplained black eye could initially be a red flag, especially if no explanation is offered. Jared did not weigh in on whether this situation would be a dealbreaker for him, but Jordana suggests that if the black eye remains inexplicably unaddressed, it definitely could be.
The discussion then moved to another scenario where a husband blatantly plagiarized the text for a Valentine’s Day card from Hallmark and casually admitted to doing so. Jared and Jordana merit that admitting to the plagiarism was ...
Games discussing dealbreakers and red flags
Download the Shortform Chrome extension for your browser