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How To Make Vulnerability Your Greatest Strength With Jay Glazer

By Lewis Howes

In this episode of The School of Greatness, Jay Glazer opens up about his lifelong experiences with depression, anxiety, and ADD. He discusses the physical manifestations of his mental health challenges and shares his methods for managing panic attacks, including during live TV broadcasts. He also explains how he relies on a strong support network of friends and professionals to help him navigate his daily struggles.

Glazer explores the importance of vulnerability and its role in mental health advocacy, particularly among men. Through his book "Unbreakable" and his charity MVP (Merging Vets and Players), he works to create spaces for open dialogue about mental health. The episode covers his efforts to combine mental health support with physical training at his performance center and his approach to helping others while managing his own challenges.

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How To Make Vulnerability Your Greatest Strength With Jay Glazer

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How To Make Vulnerability Your Greatest Strength With Jay Glazer

1-Page Summary

Glazer's Journey With Mental Health Challenges

Jay Glazer candidly shares his ongoing battle with depression, anxiety, and ADD, revealing how these challenges have affected him since childhood. Despite his outward success, Glazer describes struggling with persistent negative internal voices—what he calls "roommates in his head"—that constantly undermine his sense of self-worth. These mental health challenges manifest physically, with symptoms including joint aches and sensations similar to a heart attack, making daily functioning difficult.

Coping With Mental Health: Support, Service, Laughter

Glazer emphasizes the importance of having a strong support network, which he calls his "team," including friends like Michael Strahan and Howie Long, along with professional therapists. He finds purpose in helping others, noting how activities like giving care packages to the homeless or supporting others through his work helps shift his focus away from negative thoughts. Notably, Glazer manages his panic attacks on live TV through humor, though he recalls a particularly severe episode during a Super Bowl that lasted an hour and a half.

Valuing Vulnerability: Inspiring Others Through Struggles

Through his book "Unbreakable" and his charity MVP (Merging Vets and Players), Glazer works to destigmatize mental health discussions, particularly among men. His raw, uncensored approach to sharing his experiences has resonated deeply with readers, especially women who share his book with the men in their lives. The MVP program unites combat veterans and athletes, providing a space for open discussions about mental health challenges. Glazer's commitment to mental health support extends to his Unbreakable Performance Center, where he maintains a full-time therapist on staff.

1-Page Summary

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Actionables

  • You can create a "Mood First Aid Kit" with items that help soothe your mind during moments of anxiety or depression. This could include a stress ball, a list of affirmations, a small vial of a calming scent like lavender, and a playlist of uplifting or relaxing music. The idea is to have a go-to resource that's readily available when you start to feel overwhelmed, much like a first aid kit for physical ailments.
  • Start a peer support text group with friends who understand the importance of mental health. This group can serve as a quick check-in point where you share daily wins, seek advice during tough moments, or simply offer a listening ear. The key is to establish ground rules that ensure the group remains supportive and non-judgmental, fostering a sense of community similar to what combat veterans and athletes might experience in a support program.
  • Incorporate humor into your daily routine as a coping mechanism for stress. This could mean watching a short comedy clip in the morning, reading a funny comic strip during your lunch break, or sharing jokes with a coworker. By intentionally adding moments of laughter to your day, you create a buffer against the onset of negative emotions, much like using humor to manage panic attacks in high-pressure situations.

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How To Make Vulnerability Your Greatest Strength With Jay Glazer

Glazer's Journey With Mental Health Challenges

Jay Glazer openly details his lifelong struggle with depression, anxiety, ADD, and deep-rooted feelings of low self-worth, sharing an intimate glimpse into his internal battles that have persisted despite his outward success.

Glazer Has Faced Depression, Anxiety, and Low Self-Worth From an Early Age

Glazer Battled Self-Doubt and Felt Unloved Due to the "Roommates in His Head" Undermining His Self-Worth

Glazer speaks about suffering with mental health issues from an early age, such as depression, anxiety, and ADD. He recalls his earliest childhood memory filled with pain and instances of acting out. Glazer talks about the "roommates in his head," which are the negative internal voices that continuously criticize him, tell him he's a bad person, and undermine his self-worth. These internal struggles led him to mixed martial arts and the feeling that he belonged in a cage, not because of external abuse but due to his own battles with self-worth.

Despite building up a persona on TV to mask these voices, Glazer admits he does not feel any self-worth and often feels undeserving of love. He shares how these internal voices prevent him from enjoying life or feeling worthy of joy, impacting his everyday well-being and self-perception.

Glazer Feels Unworthy Despite Success

Glazer Describes His Depression and Anxiety As a Battle, With Symptoms Like a Chain Feeling and Joint Aches Making It Difficult to Function

In a candid moment, Glazer reveals that, despite acknowledging his great life, he suffers from a perpetual negativity in his internal world and rates his self-love as a "negative." His depression and anxiety manifest heavily, feeling like chains pulling his soul down, resulting in physical symptoms such as the sensation of a heart attack and aching joints, akin to the aftermath of a lengthy boxing match.

He opens up ab ...

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Glazer's Journey With Mental Health Challenges

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Actionables

  • Create a personal mantra that counters negative self-talk by identifying a positive trait or accomplishment you're proud of and repeating it daily. For example, if you often feel unworthy, you might choose a mantra like "I am valued for my kindness." Say it out loud every morning, or write it on sticky notes and place them around your home or workspace to reinforce the message.
  • Start a 'small wins' journal to recognize and celebrate your efforts and achievements. Each evening, jot down at least one thing you did well or a challenge you overcame, no matter how minor it seems. This could be as simple as completing a task you've been putting off or handling a stressful situation with grace. Over time, this can help shift your focus from what you perceive as failures to the progress you're making.
  • Engage in a weekly 'role reversal' exercise where you write ...

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How To Make Vulnerability Your Greatest Strength With Jay Glazer

Coping With Mental Health: Support, Service, Laughter

Jay Glazer shares his intimate journey of managing mental health, crediting a strong support network, the power of helping others, and using humor as vital tools in his battle.

Glazer Credits a Supportive "Team" of Friends, Family, and Professionals As Crucial for Mental Health Management

Glazer emphasizes that a crucial element in coping with mental health is having a support system that you can rely on. He refers to friends like Michael Strahan and Howie Long, and professionals like therapists whom he has seen since the age of four, as his "battle buddies" and "teammates." He underscores the significance of having a team, including the presence of a woman named Andy within MVP, whose transformation from homelessness to becoming a high-ranking executive exemplifies the positive impact of support.

Although having this support team is vital, Glazer admits there are times he is too exhausted to respond to them, highlighting how draining mental health battles can be. Despite his exhaustion, he emphasizes the importance of reaching out for support. This is illustrated by an instance when Glazer's friend DJ noticed his struggles during a TV segment and offered to call him four times a day.

Glazer Stresses the Importance Of Seeking Support From "Teammates" During Mental Health Struggles

Glazer believes it's essential to communicate your struggles with your "teammate," no matter who they may be—a friend, a family member, a pet, or God. He stresses the importance of not facing mental health issues alone and the transformative effect of opening up, which has consistently brought him closer to people. He encourages others to discuss and share their challenges with those who care about them, using his book as a tool to help others understand their mental health struggles.

Helping Others Helps Glazer Shift Focus From Negativity and Find Meaning

Glazer finds solace and purpose in being of service to others. He mentions how giving care packages to the homeless or simply calling someone to express concern can shift negative focus and contribute to well-being. He is emotionally impacted when people acknowledge the positive difference he's made in their lives through his work with MVP.

Lewis Howes echoe ...

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Coping With Mental Health: Support, Service, Laughter

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Clarifications

  • Jay Glazer mentioning friends like Michael Strahan and Howie Long highlights the importance of having a strong support network in managing mental health. Michael Strahan is a former NFL player and current TV personality, while Howie Long is a former NFL player and sports analyst. Their presence in Glazer's life signifies the value of having close relationships with individuals who understand and support him through his mental health journey.
  • Lewis Howes is a well-known entrepreneur, author, and former professional athlete. He is also a prominent figure in the world of personal development and self-improvement. Howes has openly shared his experiences with therapy, highlighting its role in his personal growth journey, which began when he was around 30 years old. This aspect of his story underscores the importance of seeking professional help and support in navigating mental health challenges and pursuing self-improvement goals.
  • The Pro Bowl is an annual all-star game in the National Football League (NFL) where the best players from the American Football Conference (AFC) ...

Counterarguments

  • While a strong support network is beneficial, some individuals may not have access to a supportive group of friends, family, or professionals, which can make managing mental health more challenging.
  • There are instances where people might feel that reaching out for support could burden others, leading them to hesitate or avoid seeking help.
  • Not everyone may feel comfortable communicating their struggles, possibly due to stigma, fear of judgment, or personal privacy concerns.
  • While helping others can be therapeutic, it is also important to ensure that one does not neglect their own needs or use it as a form of avoidance of dealing with personal issues.
  • Humor can be a coping mechanism for some, but it might not be effective or appropriate for everyone, and r ...

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How To Make Vulnerability Your Greatest Strength With Jay Glazer

Valuing Vulnerability: Inspiring Others Through Struggles

Jay Glazer’s openness about his mental health is not just for his own therapeutic journey but also serves as an inspiration and connecting point with various groups, including veterans and athletes. In his work, he aims to break down the stigma surrounding vulnerability.

Glazer's Openness About Mental Health Helps Connect With Veterans and Athletes

Jay Glazer expresses a desire to love himself more and feel worthy of love, which he believes will lead to happiness. He discusses his mental health struggles openly, as he believes giving voice to these challenges can help others. He has found that by discussing his own mental health openly, he forms a deeper connection with veterans through his charity, MVP (Merging Vets and Players).

Glazer's "Unbreakable" Gives a Raw, Uncensored Look at His Depression and Anxiety, Resonating Deeply With Readers, Especially Women Sharing It With Men in Their Lives

Glazer's book "Unbreakable" discusses how he turns depression and anxiety into motivation, sharing his journey through raw and explicit content. This approach has garnered feedback from various readers, including grandmothers and fathers, who found the book helpful in explaining their feelings and connecting with others—especially women purchasing the book for the men in their lives. Men battle with acknowledging their own mental health issues, and the book offers an authentic perspective on these struggles.

Glazer Aims to Inspire Others By Using His Platform to Destigmatize Mental Health Discussions Through Vulnerability

Glazer advocates for being proud of one's scars and viewing them as a testament to overcoming challenges. He openly shares the story of Andy, a woman who grew up in a cult, highlighting how vulnerability supports healing and connects people. By choosing to speak openly about his own depression and anxiety, Glazer believes he can inspire others to also talk about their struggles.

Glazer's Charity Mvp Unites Veterans and Athletes, Showing His Commitment To Empowering Others Through His Struggles

Glazer's charity, MVP, unites combat veterans and athlete ...

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Valuing Vulnerability: Inspiring Others Through Struggles

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While Glazer's openness about mental health is commendable, not everyone may be comfortable with or benefit from such public vulnerability, as individual coping mechanisms vary.
  • The raw and uncensored approach in Glazer's book "Unbreakable" might not resonate with all readers, as some may find it too intense or triggering.
  • The focus on veterans and athletes might inadvertently suggest that these groups are more in need of mental health support than others, potentially overlooking the broader population's struggles.
  • The emphasis on discussing mental health struggles openly could pressure individuals who are not ready to share their experiences, potentially leading to additional stress.
  • The narrative that scars should be a source of pride might not align with everyone's healing process, as some individuals may wish to move on without focusing on past traumas.
  • The effectiveness of MVP's approach to uniting veterans and athletes in shared training and discussion sessions may not be universally applicable or benef ...

Actionables

  • Start a personal blog to share your journey with mental health, focusing on the therapeutic benefits of writing and the potential to reach others who might feel isolated. Writing can be a form of self-help and by sharing your experiences, you might provide comfort to someone in a similar situation who reads your posts.
  • Create a small, informal support group with friends or colleagues where you all commit to meeting regularly to discuss mental health and life challenges. This can be as simple as a monthly coffee meet-up or a group chat. The act of sharing and listening can foster a sense of community and provide mutual suppo ...

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