Lucy Hale Opens Up: Getting Sober, Mental Health & Manifestation
In this episode of The School of Greatness, actress Lucy Hale discusses her path to sobriety and personal growth. She shares how childhood-rooted feelings of unworthiness and guilt over her success led to alcohol dependency and disordered eating, and describes how hitting "rock bottom" three years ago sparked a spiritual awakening that changed her life.
The conversation explores how Hale's sobriety journey extends beyond abstaining from substances to encompass self-love and protecting her peace. She discusses reconnecting with spirituality and manifestation practices, and offers insights about emotional safety and personal growth. Host Lewis Howes contributes his perspective on taking responsibility for one's life and shifting focus toward serving others.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Apr 30, 2025 episode of the The School of Greatness
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1-Page Summary
Overcoming Self-Doubt, Shame, and Unworthiness
Lucy Hale shares her journey of confronting deep-seated feelings of unworthiness that persisted despite her outward success. She describes struggling with childhood-rooted limiting beliefs about receiving being selfish, which led to guilt over her achievements. To cope with feelings of being a fraud, Hale turned to alcohol and developed disordered eating patterns starting at age 13. Her "rock bottom" moment three years ago sparked a spiritual awakening and commitment to sobriety.
Getting Sober and Aligning With True Self
Through sobriety, Hale discovered a path to self-love and personal growth. She describes her three-year journey as an evolution: the second year focused on learning to have fun without substances, while the third year brought emotional revelations that connected her with her authentic self. Hale emphasizes that sobriety represents not just abstaining from substances, but a measure of self-love strong enough to protect her peace from harmful influences.
Power of Spirituality, Manifestation, and Trusting One's Path
Hale discusses how spiritual disconnection contributed to her struggles, describing herself as having been "spiritually bankrupt." After getting sober, she reconnected with her childhood spiritual joy and belief in manifestation. She shares how she had always felt a strong spiritual connection, even manifesting her move to Los Angeles through visualization and belief. Hale views her challenges not as mistakes but as necessary lessons, emphasizing her belief that everything happens for a purpose.
Advice For Others on a Journey of Self-Discovery
Drawing from their experiences, both Lucy Hale and Lewis Howes offer guidance for personal growth. Hale emphasizes the importance of emotional safety and being willing to disappoint others for personal growth. She advocates for gratitude as a powerful tool and encourages others to recognize their worthiness of good things and healthy love. Howes adds his perspective on taking responsibility for one's life, shifting focus from personal accomplishments to serving others.
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Counterarguments
- While personal growth and self-love are important, it's also crucial to acknowledge that sobriety and overcoming personal struggles often require ongoing support and sometimes professional help, not just self-love and spirituality.
- The idea that everything happens for a purpose can be comforting, but it's also important to recognize that some events in life are random and not necessarily part of a larger plan or lesson.
- Manifestation and visualization can be powerful tools for some, but they may not work for everyone, and success often requires concrete action in addition to positive thinking.
- The notion of having to disappoint others to grow personally can be valid, but it's also important to balance personal growth with empathy and consideration for the feelings and needs of others.
- Gratitude is indeed powerful, but it's not a panacea; some situations require more than a positive attitude, such as systemic issues that need collective action to address.
- Taking responsibility for one's life is important, but it's also necessary to acknowledge that external factors like socio-economic status, mental health issues, and systemic barriers can significantly impact one's ability to change their circumstances.
- The emphasis on personal accomplishments and serving others is valuable, but it's also important to recognize the need for self-care and setting healthy boundaries.
Actionables
- Create a "Worthiness Jar" where you write down one thing you did well each day, no matter how small, and drop it in the jar. This practice helps you to recognize and celebrate your own achievements, reinforcing feelings of self-worth. For example, if you completed a work task efficiently or showed kindness to a stranger, acknowledge it by writing it down and adding it to the jar.
- Develop a "Fun Without Substances" bucket list that includes activities you've never tried but always wanted to, such as taking a dance class, starting a book club, or learning a new language. This encourages you to explore new hobbies and social settings that don't revolve around substance use, providing alternative ways to enjoy life and connect with others.
- Start a "Gratitude Voice Memo" series on your phone, recording a short message about what you're thankful for each day. This could range from appreciating a sunny day to being grateful for a friend's support. Listening back to these memos can serve as a reminder of the good in your life, especially during challenging times, and can help cultivate a habit of gratitude.
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Overcoming Self-Doubt, Shame, and Unworthiness
Lewis Howes discusses the difficulties of opening up about trauma and its connection to feelings of shame and unworthiness, which are echoed in Lucy Hale's experiences of dealing with her inner darkness and self-loathing despite her outward success.
Lucy Hale's Struggle With Inner Darkness and Self-Loathing Despite Success
Lucy Hale has confronted deep-seated feelings of unworthiness that could not be remedied by external success or validation. Despite achieving fame and success, Hale grappled with a longing to be seen authentically while also fearing the exposure this vulnerability could bring. She likens the push to be truly visible, in spite of fear, to "slaying the dragon of fear."
Ashamed of Undeserved Achievements and Possessions
Hale carried a limiting belief from her childhood that deemed receiving as selfish or ungrateful, causing her to feel guilty and ashamed for her success and possessions. She discusses the internal conflict this caused and how, through trial and error and falling on her face, she learned to recognize her own worth.
Substance Use and Disordered Eating To Numb Unworthiness and Inauthenticity Feelings
Hale used alcohol to numb herself and cope with feelings of being a fraud, especially as her success increased. She also struggled with what she believes was an eating disorder that began around the age of 13 and persisted into her mid-twenties. Alcohol provided a temporary escape from obsessive thoughts about weight, calories, and exercising. However, during periods of abstinence from drinking, her eating disorder symptoms intensified. Hale notes that addictive behaviors are common among those wi ...
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Overcoming Self-Doubt, Shame, and Unworthiness
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Actionables
- You can start a daily self-worth journal to explore and affirm your intrinsic value. Each morning, write down three qualities you appreciate about yourself that are not tied to external achievements or possessions. This practice helps shift focus from external validation to internal appreciation, fostering a sense of self-worth that isn't dependent on success or the opinions of others.
- Create a "vulnerability challenge" for yourself where you share an authentic part of your story with a trusted friend or in a support group once a week. By regularly opening up about your fears, insecurities, or past struggles in a safe environment, you can gradually become more comfortable with vulnerability and recognize it as a strength rather than a weakness.
- Develop a "substitution strategy" for coping mechanisms by identifying a healthy activity you enjoy and ca ...
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Getting Sober and Aligning With True Self
Lucy Hale delves into her personal journey toward sobriety and the profound effects it has on embracing her true self, self-love, and personal growth.
Embracing Self-Love and Worthiness Through Sobriety and Safety
Lucy Hale credits sobriety for her ability to stop surrendering her power to others and start realigning with herself with clear-headedness. She describes her path of sobriety as a continuous evolution, with her second year being about reintegration and having fun without relying on substances, and her third year bringing to light a lot of emotional tensions that pointed towards a deeper connection with her true self.
Sobriety for Lucy represents getting to the core of her wounds and realigning her life. After three years of sobriety, she feels her nervous system starting to relax, indicating a process of aligning with her true self and accepting safety. Lucy views sobriety not just as abstaining from substances, but as a measure of how much she loves herself and her life, so much so that she wouldn't want to threaten her peace with harmful people, environments, or substances.
Shedding "Victim Mentality" for Growth and Healing Responsibility
Hale expresses her desire for emotional safety and to be fully seen and accepted for who she is. She realized that she needed to change her life or risk losing it all, thinking that a higher power was encouraging her to transform. At the time she got sober, Lucy began having glimpses of hope and spiritual connections. She understood her part in contributing to her own suffering and took responsibility for her past pain. Hale emphasizes the importance of speaking up and creating boundaries as kindness to oneself, moving beyond what she describes as a "victim mentality," and understanding that everything in life is a teaching experience.
Practicing Mindfulness, Gratitude, and Connection to a Higher Power
Lucy Hale underscores her personal spiritual connection. She mentions her practice of gratitude, how being grateful leads to discovering more to be grateful for, and feeling connected to her "guide team" above, signifying a relationship with a higher power. The sense of sel ...
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Getting Sober and Aligning With True Self
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While sobriety can lead to self-love and worthiness, it's important to acknowledge that the journey is deeply personal and may not be the same for everyone; some individuals might find self-love through other forms of therapy or self-care.
- The idea that sobriety is a measure of self-love could be seen as oversimplifying the complex reasons why people might struggle with substance abuse, which can include genetic, environmental, and psychological factors.
- The concept of shedding a "victim mentality" might be perceived as dismissive of the real and valid struggles that individuals face, and it's important to recognize that everyone's process of healing and growth is unique.
- While taking responsibility for past pain is empowering for some, it's also crucial to recognize that not all past pain is self-inflicted and that external circumstances and other people can play significant roles in one's suffering.
- The emphasis on spirituality and connection to a higher power may not resonate with everyone, as individuals have diverse beliefs and may find meaning and support through secular or alternative avenues.
- The value placed on relationships that align with spiritual beliefs might not be inclusive of the benefits that can come from engaging with diverse perspectives and worldviews.
- Setting boundaries is important, but it's also necessary to consider the balance b ...
Actionables
- Create a personal growth journal to track your journey toward self-love and sobriety, noting down moments of self-appreciation and instances where you align with your true self. Use this journal to reflect on your progress, celebrate small victories, and identify areas where you can set stronger boundaries or practice more gratitude.
- Develop a "relationship audit" exercise where you evaluate your current relationships based on how well they align with your spiritual beliefs and personal growth goals. List out your relationships, assess their impact on your well-being, and decide which ones you need to nurture, set boundaries with, or possibly distance yourself from to maintain your integrity and support your sobriety.
- Start a "courage challenge" where each week, you consciously mak ...
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Power of Spirituality, Manifestation, and Trusting One's Path
Lucy Hale discusses her spiritual beliefs, the power of manifestation, and the importance of trusting one's path towards growth and healing, highlighting her personal journey and rediscovery of spiritual connection.
Rediscovering Lucy's Early Spiritual Connection and Manifesting Ability
Recognizing Spiritual Disconnection's Role in Struggles and Reconnecting's Importance
Lucy Hale expresses that a sense of spiritual disconnection played a significant role in her struggles, describing herself as being spiritually broken, or "spiritually bankrupt." She acknowledges how cutting herself off from a higher power contributed to her challenges and emphasizes the importance of restoring that spiritual connection. After getting sober, Lucy notes that she blocked away her connection with God and focused more on the material world. She highlights how reconnecting with the spiritual joy of her inner child marked a key part of her healing.
Applying Principles of Manifestation and Trusting Divine Timing
Lucy has always felt a strong spiritual connection, even speaking out loud to the universe as a child. She dreamed and daydreamed about moving to Los Angeles and later saw this manifest into reality. Lucy discusses her belief in the transformative power of changing thoughts and suggests using prayer or talking oneself to initiate finding answers. Despite her struggles with alcohol, she believes in divine timing and trusts the path set out for her. She talks about her patient and mindful trusting in a bigger plan for her life and the importance of focusing on positive manifestations.
Embracing There Are No Mistakes, Only Lessons
Lucy Hale reflects on her life's journey, expressing a belief that ...
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Power of Spirituality, Manifestation, and Trusting One's Path
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Counterarguments
- The role of spiritual disconnection in personal struggles is subjective and may not resonate with everyone, as some individuals find strength and resilience in non-spiritual or secular worldviews.
- The concept of manifestation can be criticized for oversimplifying complex life situations and attributing success or failure to an individual's thoughts, potentially ignoring systemic issues and external factors.
- The idea of trusting in divine timing may not align with the beliefs of those who emphasize personal agency and the role of proactive decision-making in shaping one's future.
- The belief that there are no mistakes, only lessons, might be seen as an oversimplification of the human experience, where some actions can have irreversible consequences that are difficult to frame positively.
- The notion that everything happens for one's highest good can be challenged as it may not account for random or meaningless events that cause suffering without apparent benefi ...
Actionables
- Create a daily "inner child" playtime by setting aside 10 minutes to engage in an activity you loved as a child, such as coloring, playing with clay, or jumping rope, to reconnect with your youthful spirit and joy.
- This strategy taps into the concept of play therapy, where engaging in childlike activities can help adults reconnect with their inner child, leading to emotional healing and a sense of spiritual reconnection. For example, if you loved to draw, carry a small sketchbook and take a few moments each day to doodle or sketch whatever comes to mind, without judgment or a goal, simply for the pleasure of the activity.
- Start a "manifestation journal" where you write down one small, achievable dream or goal each morning, then spend 5 minutes visualizing the process of it coming true, to practice and strengthen your manifestation skills.
- By focusing on small, daily goals, you can observe the process of manifestation in real-time and build confidence in your ability to manifest larger dreams. For instance, if your goal is to have a positive interaction with a coworker, visualize the conversation and the feelings associated with the successful interaction, then watch for the opportunity to make it happen during the day.
- Reflect on your day each ...
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Advice For Others on a Journey of Self-Discovery
Personal growth champions Lucy Hale and Lewis Howes share insights for those embarking on their own journeys of self-discovery, emphasizing authenticity and self-compassion.
Encouraging Focus on Gratitude, Self-Love, and Defining "Greatness"
Emotional Safety, Integrity, and the Willingness to Disappoint For Personal Growth
Lucy Hale stresses the importance of aligning with a better version of oneself and being true to one's authentic self without needing others' approval. She notes that part of self-discovery involves making hard choices that might disappoint others to achieve personal growth and one's own version of "greatness." Similarly, Lewis Howes underscores the importance of self-acceptance over the desire to be liked by others, as it is essential for inner healing and growth.
Lucy shares how she lacked emotional safety as a child and had to navigate complex emotions and existential thoughts without support. This reflection serves as advice for self-compassion and recognizing the importance of emotional safety and integrity on the path of self-discovery. Howes also relates to this through his inner child healing work, where he uses a photo of his eight-year-old self as a reminder to care for all parts of his being.
Lucy's journey of self-love includes embracing spirituality and self-help, using these tools to align with herself and heal her nervous system rather than relying on substances or extreme behaviors to find peace. She sees gratitude as a powerful tool for personal growth, advocating a focus on the positive aspects of life and the belief that more blessings will follow when one pays attention to what is going right.
Compassionately Advising Younger Selves On Self-Worth as a Process
Hale would advise her younger self that she is deserving of good things and healthy love, highlighting that self-worth is a process. She also acknowledges the need for support and a strong emotional foundation, implying that acknowledging and working toward these needs is part of a journey of self-discovery and growth. Additionally, she stresses that it's okay for one's 100% to vary from day to day and that being in alignment is at the heart of greatness.
Lucy also speaks to the concept of "the courage to be disliked" and the power lying in living one's truth, even if it may disturb others. She examines her past actions as a people pleaser, suggesting a journey toward setting boundaries, speaking up for oneself, and honoring one's truth.
Interconnectedness of People and Power to Shape Reality
The dialogue reveals Lucy's belief in the interconnectedness of people and their power to shape reality. She perceives individuals as "master creators" and talks about experiencing oneness, which has given her a profound sense of empathy. Lucy emphas ...
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Advice For Others on a Journey of Self-Discovery
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Counterarguments
- While self-acceptance is important, it's also necessary to recognize that feedback from others can be valuable for personal growth and should not always be dismissed.
- Emotional safety and integrity are important, but it's also crucial to develop resilience and the ability to cope with discomfort, as not all environments will provide emotional safety.
- Spirituality and self-help can be beneficial, but they are not one-size-fits-all solutions and may not resonate with or be effective for everyone.
- Gratitude is powerful, but it's also important to acknowledge and address negative emotions and situations rather than simply focusing on the positive.
- The concept of self-worth being a process is valid, but it's also important to recognize that self-worth should not be entirely dependent on external support or validation.
- The idea that it's okay for one's 100% to vary is compassionate, but it's also important to maintain a certain level of consistency and reliability in commitments and responsibilities.
- Living one's truth is important, but it should be balanced with consideration for how one's actions affect others, as personal growth should not come at the expense of causing harm or neglecting responsibilities.
- Setting boundaries is crucial, but it's also important to learn how to compromise and collaborate with others in relationships and communities.
- The belief in interconnectedness and the power to shape reality is empowering, but it's also important to recognize the limits of individual control and the role of external factors in shaping one's life.
- Being open to challenges is impor ...
Actionables
- Create a personal growth journal where each day you write down one action you took that aligns with your better self, one instance where you practiced self-acceptance, and three things you're grateful for. This habit reinforces the concepts of self-alignment, self-acceptance, and gratitude by making them tangible daily practices. For example, you might note that you chose a healthy meal over fast food, didn't seek validation from social media, and felt grateful for a sunny day, a good conversation, and your health.
- Develop a "courage challenge" for yourself where once a week you do something that scares you or that you would typically avoid to avoid judgment. This could be as simple as wearing an outfit that's out of your comfort zone, expressing an unpopular opinion in a group setting, or trying a new activity alone. The goal is to build resilience and self-confidence by regularly stepping out of your comfort zone and reflecting on the experience afterward.
- Start a "boundaries ...
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