Podcasts > The School of Greatness > How To Heal Your Trauma To Manifest Your Most Abundant Life | Melissa Wood-Tepperberg

How To Heal Your Trauma To Manifest Your Most Abundant Life | Melissa Wood-Tepperberg

By Lewis Howes

In this episode of The School of Greatness, Melissa Wood-Tepperberg opens up about the dysfunctional family environment and financial scarcity she faced growing up. She discusses how these traumatic experiences led her to unhealthy coping mechanisms like binge drinking, binge eating, and purging—culminating in a personal rock bottom.

Wood-Tepperberg reveals her healing journey of self-discovery through daily meditation and mindful movement. By sharing her vulnerable story, she hopes to inspire others dealing with trauma to find inner peace, clarity, and purpose. The episode explores how she channeled her practices into building a wellness platform that resonates authentically with her community.

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How To Heal Your Trauma To Manifest Your Most Abundant Life | Melissa Wood-Tepperberg

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How To Heal Your Trauma To Manifest Your Most Abundant Life | Melissa Wood-Tepperberg

1-Page Summary

Childhood trauma and dysfunctional family dynamics

Growing up in a low-income household with divorced parents, Melissa experienced intense emotional turmoil, financial scarcity, and a chaotic family environment. As the middle child, she felt responsible for taking care of everyone else, doing chores and helping siblings with homework.

Melissa also endured emotional neglect, often left alone during pivotal events where parents were absent. This instability and dysfunction deeply impacted her self-perception and coping abilities.

Destructive coping behaviors and personal rock bottom

To numb her pain and inadequacy, Melissa turned to unhealthy coping mechanisms like binge drinking, binge eating and purging. Her self-destructive behavior escalated in her 20s, leading to a personal rock bottom of complete self-disgust.

Though acknowledging she needed help, Melissa initially struggled to be honest in therapy. But she eventually realized her patterns were unsustainable - a turning point where she chose self-improvement over continued destruction.

Self-discovery, healing, and finding purpose through meditation and movement

After hitting rock bottom, Melissa prioritized her wellbeing through daily meditation, which helped her reconnect with her true self and find peace and clarity. Incorporating mindful movement like Pilates further aided her self-discovery and healing journey.

Through consistent practice, Melissa learned to listen to her inner voice. She credits meditation for regulating stress and maintaining her wellness transformation.

Building a wellness brand and platform to inspire others

Melissa's wellness platform merging meditation and movement resonated due to her vulnerable, authentic approach of openly sharing her story and practices. This allowed her community to feel a deeper connection.

Rather than projecting perfection, Melissa focused on being transparently human, sharing real struggles. Her mission to "wake people up to their inner strength" became the driving force behind creating content to inspire others on similar journeys.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • You can create a personal narrative journal to process past experiences and envision a healthier future. Start by writing down key moments from your past that have shaped you, similar to how Melissa reflected on her upbringing. Then, for each event, write a parallel entry on how you want to transform that experience into positive action for your future. For example, if you felt neglected, you might write about how you will prioritize self-care or seek out supportive communities.
  • Develop a habit tracker to incorporate small wellness practices into your daily routine. Choose two simple activities that promote well-being, such as five minutes of deep breathing in the morning and a short walk after dinner. Track these habits daily for a month, marking each successful day on a calendar or in an app. This method helps establish consistency in self-care without overwhelming you with drastic lifestyle changes.
  • Share your journey with a trusted friend or in a small group to foster authentic connections and mutual support. Find someone or a group of people who are also interested in personal growth and set up regular check-ins where you can discuss your challenges and progress. This could be as simple as a bi-weekly coffee meet-up or a group chat where you encourage each other and share insights, mirroring the authentic sharing that made Melissa's platform resonate.

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How To Heal Your Trauma To Manifest Your Most Abundant Life | Melissa Wood-Tepperberg

Childhood trauma and dysfunctional family dynamics

Melissa shares the intense emotional landscape of her childhood, marred by financial strains and the chronic instability of a dysfunctional family environment.

Melissa grew up in a low-income, chaotic household with divorced parents and four siblings, constantly feeling the need to take care of everyone else.

Melissa's life as a child was deeply affected by the family's precarious financial situation, which she describes as fostering a scarcity mindset. She bore witness to her mother's stress from the economic hardship, which left an indelible mark. The scarcity of resources was tangible, as evidenced by the hurt and embarrassment she felt from having to cycle clothing with her sisters to give the impression of a more ample wardrobe due to only being able to afford one outfit each for school.

As the middle child, Melissa felt a strong sense of responsibility from a young age, often acting as a caretaker and taking on household chores to ease the stress on her parents.

Tasked with the weight of adult worries, Melissa stepped into a caretaker role within her family. As the middle child of five, she felt it was her duty to alleviate the household burden. She handled numerous chores and helped her siblings with their homework. Her initiative extended to creating chore lists on a chalkboard, but this often led her sisters to view her as bossy, an unintended consequence of her attempts to bring order to chaos.

Melissa experienced emotional neglect and abandonment, with her parents frequently absent or preoccupied, leading to feelings of shame and embarrassment.

The absence of her parents in pivotal moments left Melissa grappling with neglect and abandonment. She relates the pain of being forgotten at school events like Parents' Day and softball games, where she had to cloak her hurt and fabricate reasons for her mother's absence. These episodes of neglect, including being left alone with no ride home, sharpened he ...

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Childhood trauma and dysfunctional family dynamics

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • You can create a personal budget tracker to manage finances and alleviate the stress of a scarcity mindset. Start by listing your monthly income and expenses in a simple spreadsheet or notebook. Track every penny you spend for a month to identify where you might be able to cut back or save. This will help you gain control over your finances and reduce anxiety related to money.
  • Develop a self-care routine to address emotional neglect from your past. Begin by setting aside a specific time each day for activities that make you feel valued and cared for, such as reading a book, taking a walk, or practicing meditation. Consistency in self-care can help you build a sense of stability and self-worth.
  • Engage in reflective journaling to process f ...

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How To Heal Your Trauma To Manifest Your Most Abundant Life | Melissa Wood-Tepperberg

Destructive coping behaviors and personal rock bottom

Melissa Wood-Tepperberg bravely shares her journey through self-destructive behaviors and how she reached a personal crisis that forced her to seek change.

Melissa turned to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as binge drinking, binge eating, and purging, as a way to numb her emotional pain and feelings of inadequacy.

Wood-Tepperberg describes how, consumed by inner pain and feelings of inadequacy, she spiraled into a pattern of binge eating and purging. She also engaged in binge drinking and briefly experimented with drugs. Desiring to model but facing industry pressure to lose weight exacerbated her struggles. Her adeptness at hiding her pain from others was indicative of her internal turmoil.

Melissa's self-destructive behavior escalated in her 20s, leading to a personal rock bottom where she felt complete disgust and hatred towards herself.

During her 20s, Wood-Tepperberg hit her lowest point. She details late nights of heavy drinking and "raging," which often uncovered anger issues. She recounts how after being out all night, she would return home at sunrise only to end up purging, a cycle that led to a profound moment of self-disgust and self-hatred.

Melissa recognized that her destructive patterns were unsustainable and that she needed to make a change, but she struggled to be fully honest with her therapist and herself.

Lewis Howes notes that Wood-Tepperberg’s behaviors were out of alignment with her inner child's desires, the neglect of which manifested physically and emotionally. This deep disconnect reached a head when Wood-Tepperber ...

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Destructive coping behaviors and personal rock bottom

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • Create a self-reflection journal to explore your feelings and behaviors, dedicating a section to "inner child" reflections where you can express the needs and desires you might have neglected. Write in it daily, focusing on honesty and self-compassion, to better understand your patterns and what changes might be necessary for your well-being.
  • Develop a personal "crisis plan" that includes steps to take when feeling overwhelmed, such as a list of supportive contacts, calming activities, and affirmations to remind yourself of your worth and the commitment to your health. Keep this plan easily accessible, like on your phone or a small card in your wallet, so you can refer to it during challenging moments.
  • Start a "truth practice" by setti ...

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How To Heal Your Trauma To Manifest Your Most Abundant Life | Melissa Wood-Tepperberg

Self-discovery, healing, and finding purpose through meditation and movement

Melissa Wood-Tepperberg’s journey of hitting rock bottom and subsequent rise to wellness exemplifies the transformational power of integrating meditation and movement into daily life.

After her rock bottom moment, Melissa began to seek support and make the difficult decision to prioritize her own wellbeing, even though it was unfamiliar and challenging.

Melissa Wood-Tepperberg describes a significant moment where she chose a different path for herself, marking a move towards self-improvement and the need to ask for help. She acknowledges that her first thought upon waking is usually negative, but she now knows how to steer herself out of that mindset through a cultivated practice and connection with a higher power. Melissa notes that she has shifted from focusing on removing things from her life to adding things that could help her feel more at ease, such as seeking the assistance of a health coach. Lewis Howes points out that Melissa acknowledged two potential paths—continued destruction or reconnecting to self—and she chose the latter, beginning to make better choices.

Melissa started meditating daily, which helped her reconnect with her true self and find a newfound sense of peace and clarity.

Melissa attributes the beginning of her healing to starting a daily meditation, which helped her see herself for who she truly was, love herself through difficulties, and find peace and clarity. Meditation also became her tool for combatting stress and anxiety, which manifested physically. After feeling out of alignment with her true self and hating herself for her actions, Melissa realized that by bringing calm to her mind through meditation, she could feel regulated and less stressed.

Incorporating movement and fitness into her routine, in a more intuitive and mindful way, further aided Melissa's journey of self-discovery and healing.

Melissa describes how her approach to movement changed, integrating practices like Pilates and yoga, creating an "inner dance" and achieving a flow state rather than self-punishment. Through daily meditation and movement practices, Melissa listened to the still, small voice guiding her decisions, which Howes likens to God and her inner child. Melissa also notes that consistent practice aids her in self-discover ...

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Self-discovery, healing, and finding purpose through meditation and movement

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While meditation and movement can be powerful tools for self-improvement, they may not be a one-size-fits-all solution for everyone's journey to wellness.
  • Prioritizing one's own well-being is important, but it can sometimes be difficult to balance with other responsibilities and commitments, such as family or work.
  • Daily meditation is beneficial for many, but some individuals may struggle with the practice or may not achieve the same results due to varying personal experiences or mental health conditions.
  • The idea of reconnecting with one's "true self" assumes a singular, static self, which may be at odds with theories that suggest the self is fluid and constantly evolving.
  • The concept of a flow state through movement is subjective and may not be experienced by everyone who engages in mindful movement practices.
  • Creating a wellness platform can be a positive way to share one's journey and inspire others, but it's important to acknowledge that not everyone will ...

Actionables

  • You can create a personal wellness ritual by setting aside a specific time each day for a combined session of light exercise followed by meditation. Start with five minutes of stretching or yoga to awaken the body, then transition into a five-minute meditation focusing on breath and presence. This practice can gradually be extended as you become more comfortable with the routine.
  • Develop a 'mindful movement' playlist that includes songs with varying tempos to guide you through different intensities of exercise, encouraging an intuitive workout. For example, start with slower songs for warm-up, progress to upbeat tracks for more vigorous activity, and finish with calming music for cool-down and meditation.
  • Designate a small, tranquil space in your home as ...

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How To Heal Your Trauma To Manifest Your Most Abundant Life | Melissa Wood-Tepperberg

Building a wellness brand and platform to inspire others

Melissa Wood-Tepperberg's journey to building a wellness brand has been marked by her authentic, vulnerable approach, which has deeply resonated with her growing online community.

Melissa's authentic, vulnerable approach to sharing her story and her practices resonated deeply with her growing online community.

Melissa has consistently chosen to share her personal struggles because she believes in the importance of being transparent and authentic with her audience, an approach which she feels is necessary to truly connect. This vulnerability is a significant aspect of her mission to “wake people up to their inner strength.”

Melissa recounts the beginnings of sharing her movement and meditation practices, starting out with just her phone on a $24 tripod, without fancy lights or editing. Her content is diverse, including workouts, meditations, and recipes designed for different stages of life, showing that her brand is relatable and geared towards being human and approachable.

Melissa Wood-Tepperberg describes doing large in-person classes that combined exercise, meditation, and speaking, where she allowed her speech to come through naturally, unscripted, indicating her commitment to authenticity. By sharing her practices in a real and accessible way, whether it be through her website offerings or speaking engagements, she has allowed her community to join her on her journey toward wellness.

Melissa's willingness to be transparently human, rather than projecting perfection, allowed her to build a loyal and engaged following.

Melissa discusses the importance of the feelings and unique experiences her subscribers get from her workouts. She recounts how she started sharing online, emphasizing her desire to be genuine and share real moments, practicing alongside her audience, rather than attempting to project an image of perfection.

She speaks to her inclination to share her own experiences and perceptions, focusing on strength found through vulnerability—contrary to the often superficial display of perfection on social media. This transparency in sharing not only her successes but also the difficult decisions to expand her business, which led to unhappiness even despite success. It is reflective of her genuine approach to connection.

Melissa's mission to "wake people up to their inner strength" became the driving force behind her business and the content she creates.

Melissa's central mission is to inspire others to discover and tap into their inner strength—a philosophy she applies to herself daily. From her speaking engagements, like the one at South by Southwest, to ...

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Building a wellness brand and platform to inspire others

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • Authenticity and vulnerability, while resonating with many, may not appeal to everyone; some individuals may prefer more polished, professional content or may find too much personal sharing unprofessional or uncomfortable.
  • The emphasis on personal struggle and vulnerability might inadvertently pressure followers to overshare online, which could have negative consequences for their privacy or mental health.
  • While vulnerability is a significant aspect of Melissa's mission, it could be argued that inner strength can also be awakened through other means, such as discipline, resilience, and self-efficacy, which are not as emphasized in the text.
  • The content diversity is commendable, but it might not be tailored enough to meet specific needs or preferences of all individuals in different life stages, as personal wellness is highly individualistic.
  • Being relatable and approachable is subjective, and some might find that a wellness brand still needs to maintain a certain level of aspirational quality to motivate change.
  • In-person classes that combine multiple elements can be enriching, but they might not be suitable for all participants, especially those who prefer specialized classes focusing on one aspect of wellness.
  • Building a loyal following through imperfection and transparency is one strategy, but others might argue that maintaining a certain level of privacy and professional distance can also foster respect and loyalty.
  • The focus on genuine moments over perfection is a strong stance, but some individuals might seek out wellness content specifically for aspirational or highly curated experiences that offer an escape from their everyday life.
  • While aiming to awaken inner strength in others is noble, it's important to recognize that not all individuals may be receptive to this message or may find ...

Actionables

  • Start a personal growth journal to track your own journey of vulnerability and strength. Use this journal to write down your daily experiences, focusing on moments where you felt vulnerable and how you navigated through them. This practice will help you become more aware of your personal growth and the power of sharing your story with others.
  • Create a 'Real Moments' photo album on your phone or social media. Capture images or short videos of everyday life, including the not-so-perfect moments. This album will serve as a reminder of the beauty in imperfection and can encourage others to embrace authenticity when you choose to share it.
  • Implement a weekly 'inner streng ...

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