Rupi Kaur Opens Up: “I Felt Invisible” How To Transcend Trauma & Find Your Self-Worth

In a candid discussion, Rupi Kaur shares the serendipitous success of her debut, "Milk and Honey," and the emotional challenges she grappled with, including imposter syndrome and the daunting pressure of producing a follow-up work.

Rupi experienced immense success with Milk and Honey that caught her by surprise

Rupi Kaur conveys a sense of astonishment regarding the success of "Milk and Honey," which she had self-published during her college years while preparing for a future in law. Even after selling 18,000 copies, Kaur viewed the achievement with modesty, having paralleled her success to music album sales which were in the millions. Ten years after its release, Kaur recalls being an aspiring lawyer, not fully realizing the book's potential as a cultural phenomenon.

Rupi had self-published Milk and Honey while still in college, not expecting it to gain widespread popularity and acclaim

Kaur had been discouraged from self-publishing by a creative writing professor who told her there was no market for poetry, but her existing online community found resonance in her work. She had viewed poetry as merely a passion, a hobby with no prospects for a career, and therefore approached the publication of "Milk and Honey" without expectations of fame.

Despite selling millions of copies and becoming a New York Times bestseller, Rupi struggled with imposter syndrome and struggled to process the rapid escalation of her career

Kaur admits to a profound sense of imposter syndrome despite her books' sales and still finds the past decade surreal and difficult to process. The viral photo that catapulted her into the public eye left her fearful, and she didn't fully accept herself as an author until her third book. She describes feeling like she was performing at her best on stage, despite publishers not initially realizing her talent for live events.

Kaur describes her feelings of self-doubt and conveys how the supportive community helped her to keep pushing forward despite initially feeling that she might never write anything significant again. The simplicity and pleasure of writing "Milk and Honey" st ...

Rupi Kaur's journey illustrates a dynamic and evolving creative process, showing how growth and recognition can influence an artist’s approach to their work.

Rupi's early creative process was a community effort driven by passion and spirituality

In the beginning, Rupi's approach to creativity was deeply collaborative and driven by an organic passion for her craft.

Rupi wrote and designed her first book in a collaborative, homemade way with her friends

Rupi started performing in 2009 and later shared her work online, encouraged by her audience comprised of activists and young community members. She describes the creation of 'Milk and Honey' as a communal process with friends during her college years. They collectively participated in production aspects, including designing the cover, arranging poems, and devising marketing strategies.

Poetry was never a job or career for Rupi, but rather a form of spiritual expression and connection

Kaur became so involved in her craft that it became a vibrant part of her existence, helping her find her voice—a stark contrast to her earlier years when she felt voiceless. Her writing and creative exploration were less about producing a product and more about the joy of living out a spiritual purpose.

Rupi's creative process shifted as her success grew, leading to a loss of presence and joy

As Kaur's acclaim grew, her organic, present-focused approach to creation began to wane under the weight of increasing demands.

The demands of Rupi's growing success caused her to lose the organic, present-focused approach she had with her early work

After signing the contract for her second book, the pressures of expectations diminished the magic of her initial creative process. She felt a shift from the connected and magical feelings she experienced during the creation of 'Milk and Honey' to the struggles with deadlines and pressures while writing her second book, 'The Sun and Her Flowers.'

Rupi speaks of before "Milk and Honey," where she felt a deep connection to her ...

Rupi Kaur's journey is a powerful narrative of struggle, growth, and triumph. Through her candid sharing, she illuminates the pathway to self-discovery, healing, and self-acceptance.

Rupi struggled deeply with feelings of low self-worth and not being seen or heard growing up

Rupi Kaur shared that growing up, she often felt that her voice was neither celebrated nor valued, leaving her with a persistent belief that she lacked value and deserved to be unseen and unheard. This was compounded by traumatic experiences, which she also covered in her book, that rendered her silent and feeling invisible. She believes these incidents, especially during her youth, led to a deep-seated perception that she was not enough. The stage, however, presented an opportunity to contrast this perception, enabling her to be the person she felt she was inside. By sharing her vulnerable poetry, Rupi began the healing process, finding her voice and, ultimately, her self-worth.

Rupi's traumatic experiences as a child and young adult left her feeling invisible and like she had no value

Rupi recounts violent incidents, leaving her silent and invisible, asserting, "Believing that I am somebody who has value and is worthy of being seen and heard. And those experiences that were violent really left me feeling silent and invisible." The act of sharing her experiences with other girls and women, and later on stage, became a cathartic process that allowed her to process her own traumatic experiences and connect with others who felt similarly isolated.

Sharing her vulnerable poetry was a healing process that helped Rupi begin to find her voice and self-worth

Rupi conveys that writing at her desk until she found the right words was an integral part of her self-healing. Performing these pieces became unexpectedly healing for her, creating moments where she could "exhale" along with her audience, realizing that she was not alone. The release of her book "Milk and Honey" was like letting go of a heavy weight she had been carrying, and publishing her trauma publicly helped alleviate some of her emotional burdens.

Rupi's confidence and self-acceptance have grown over time through consistent inner work

Despite her success, including becoming a number one New York Times bestseller, Rupi grappled with low self-worth for many years. For a phase post-success, Rupi's confidence deteriorated, with positivity seemingly unable to impact her self-esteem. Over time, through therapy and embracing her true self, including engaging in meaningful conversations like the one ...

Rupi Kaur, a renowned poet, sees poetry not just as an art form but as an intrinsic part of her spiritual journey, vital for self-connection and community building.

Rupi sees poetry as a form of spirituality and connection

Rupi’s reflections on poetry reveal its significance as a spiritual practice, a form of connection with herself and the universe. She emphasizes the transformative power of sharing her work, which helps her step into her voice and imbues poetry with healing properties.

Poetry allows Rupi to feel deeply connected to herself, to others, and to a higher power or universal energy

Poetry serves as a spiritual expression for Rupi, allowing her to connect deeply with herself and others through sharing her most honest creations. She mentions how poetry helps her readers believe in themselves and describes how crafting poetry is akin to falling in love with herself. Returning to seeing poetry as a form of spirituality allowed her to reconnect with the joy of writing after initially losing presence and happiness due to treating it more like a job.

Performing her work in community has been a profoundly healing experience for Rupi

Performing poetry on stage has been a significant aspect of Rupi’s artistic practice, enabling her to embody her ideal self and experience a healing process. The communal aspect of her performances—exhaling together with her audience—amplifies the sense of shared human experiences, empowerment, and affirmation.

Rupi's diverse community has provided her with strength, resilience, and a sense of belonging

Rupi draws strength from her diverse community, which has been instrumental in her journey, providing resilience ...