Podcasts > The School of Greatness > 4 SKILLS You Didn’t Know You Needed to Build UNBREAKABLE HABITS

4 SKILLS You Didn’t Know You Needed to Build UNBREAKABLE HABITS

By Lewis Howes

In this episode of The School of Greatness podcast, Simon Sinek shares his perspectives on leadership and empowering teams through trust and psychological safety. The discussion explores habit formation strategies from experts like James Clear and Katy Milkman, who emphasize the importance of sustainable systems over temporary goal-setting alone. They offer practical tips, such as starting small, leveraging intrinsic motivation, and utilizing commitment devices and social accountability.

The episode also delves into the art of learning and memory retention. Jim Kwik highlights the role of active engagement and hands-on practice in optimizing knowledge acquisition, challenging the notion that intelligence alone determines learning ability. Together, these insights provide a comprehensive roadmap for cultivating positive habits and embracing continuous learning.

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4 SKILLS You Didn’t Know You Needed to Build UNBREAKABLE HABITS

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4 SKILLS You Didn’t Know You Needed to Build UNBREAKABLE HABITS

1-Page Summary

Leadership and Trust

Simon Sinek says leadership involves creating an environment of trust and psychological safety. According to Sinek, true leadership stems from committing to serve people rather than a position of authority. He argues that leaders prioritize the group's well-being and gain trust through transparency, decisiveness, and allowing others' input.

The Power Belongs to the People

Sinek contends that power fundamentally lies with a united group, not individual leaders. He criticizes divisive leadership tactics and practices like internal competition. Instead, he advocates embracing humility and empowering people through a shared vision, which draws on their collective strength.

Goals vs. Systems

James Clear and Katy Milkman emphasize that achieving goals alone provides momentary changes, while sustainable habits and systems produce lasting results. They recommend detailed planning, like if-then plans, to facilitate follow-through on goals. However, habits ingrained through automatic processes, low friction, and intrinsic enjoyment are more powerful than sheer willpower.

According to Clear, building habits requires starting with tiny, manageable steps and creating environments that make desired behaviors easy. Milkman adds that choosing an enjoyable path over the most efficient one increases persistence.

Habit Formation Strategies

Clear states that joining groups with desired norms eases adopting new habits. Community membership and social expectations motivate aligning behaviors with the group's identity.

Milkman discusses commitment devices like accountability contracts with financial stakes, which can incentivize habit consistency due to loss aversion.

Both experts suggest framing goals as frequent, smaller benchmarks rather than distant targets to maintain motivation through incremental progress.

Learning and Memory

Jim Kwik argues that rapid learning ability matters more than innate intelligence. He states our pervasive thought patterns, shaped by habitual self-questioning, greatly impact learning by directing our focus.

Kwik emphasizes active engagement through note-taking, application and questioning as critical for retaining knowledge, contrary to passive consumption alone. Lewis Howes concurs, preferring hands-on practice akin to building muscle memory.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Psychological safety in leadership involves creating an environment where team members feel safe to take risks, share their thoughts, and express themselves without fear of negative consequences. It is about fostering a culture of trust, respect, and openness within a team or organization. Leaders who prioritize psychological safety understand its importance in promoting innovation, collaboration, and overall team performance. This concept is closely linked to building strong relationships, effective communication, and supporting individual well-being within the team dynamic.
  • Divisive leadership tactics involve strategies that create division or conflict within a group rather than fostering unity. These tactics can include pitting team members against each other, favoritism, or using fear and intimidation to maintain control. Leaders who employ divisive tactics often prioritize their own agenda over the well-being of the group, leading to a lack of trust and collaboration among team members. Such approaches can hinder productivity, morale, and overall team effectiveness.
  • Internal competition as a leadership practice involves pitting team members against each other to drive performance. This approach can create a toxic work environment, hinder collaboration, and erode trust among team members. Leaders who promote internal competition may inadvertently foster a culture of self-interest over collective success, leading to negative outcomes for the team and organization.
  • If-then plans, also known as implementation intentions, are specific strategies where you decide in advance how you will respond to a particular situation. They involve creating a clear link between a triggering event (the "if" part) and the intended behavior or response (the "then" part). By outlining these plans, individuals can automate their decision-making process and increase the likelihood of following through on their goals. This technique helps bridge the gap between intention and action by providing a structured roadmap for behavior in various scenarios.
  • Habit formation through automatic processes involves creating routines that become second nature, requiring minimal conscious effort to maintain. By designing environments that make desired behaviors easy and reducing friction, habits can be established more effectively. These automatic processes rely on repetition and consistency to reinforce the behavior until it becomes ingrained in daily life. Over time, these habits become part of one's lifestyle, shaping actions without the need for constant decision-making.
  • Loss aversion in habit consistency means that people are more motivated to stick to a habit when there is a risk of losing something valuable if they don't follow through. This concept leverages the psychological tendency to strongly prefer avoiding losses over acquiring gains. By setting up accountability contracts with financial stakes tied to habit performance, individuals are more inclined to maintain their habits to avoid the potential loss, thus promoting consistency. Loss aversion taps into the fear of losing something of value, which can be a powerful motivator for habit formation and maintenance.
  • Accountability contracts are agreements individuals make, often with a financial consequence tied to goal achievement. These contracts serve as a tool to help people stay committed to their objectives by adding an external incentive or consequence. By setting up such a contract, individuals create a system of rewards or penalties that can motivate them to follow through on their commitments. This strategy leverages the psychological principle of loss aversion, where individuals are more motivated by the fear of losing something than the prospect of gaining something.
  • Framing goals as frequent, smaller benchmarks means breaking down a larger goal into smaller, more manageable tasks or milestones. This approach helps maintain motivation and progress by providing a sense of achievement with each completed step. It allows for continuous feedback and adjustment, making it easier to track progress and stay on course towards the ultimate goal. This method is often more effective than focusing solely on the end result, as it encourages consistency and builds momentum over time.
  • Habit formation strategies involving community membership and social expectations focus on leveraging the influence of belonging to a group to reinforce desired behaviors. Being part of a community with shared norms and expectations can motivate individuals to align their actions with the group's identity, making habit adoption easier and more sustainable. Social support and accountability within the community can provide encouragement and reinforcement, increasing the likelihood of habit consistency and success. By surrounding oneself with like-minded individuals who value the desired habits, individuals can benefit from a supportive environment that facilitates habit formation and maintenance.
  • Building muscle memory through hands-on practice involves repetitive physical actions that become automatic over time. This process helps improve performance and efficiency in tasks by training the muscles to remember specific movements. Through consistent practice, the brain forms strong neural connections that enable smoother and more precise execution of activities. This method is commonly used in sports, music, and other skill-based activities to enhance proficiency and mastery.

Counterarguments

  • Leadership may also require difficult decision-making that isn't always transparent or popular among all group members, challenging the idea that transparency and group input are always feasible or beneficial.
  • Some leadership theories argue that certain individuals inherently possess qualities that make them more suitable for leadership roles, which can conflict with the idea that power solely belongs to the group.
  • Goals can provide clear direction and motivation, which might be more effective for some individuals than focusing on systems and habits.
  • Starting with tiny steps might not be suitable for all types of habits or goals, and some individuals or situations may require more significant initial changes to see progress.
  • Joining groups with desired norms might not always be possible or practical, and peer pressure can sometimes lead to negative behaviors rather than positive habit formation.
  • Commitment devices and financial stakes may not be effective for everyone and could potentially add unnecessary stress or financial burden.
  • While rapid learning ability is valuable, the depth and mastery of knowledge, which can come from slower, more deliberate learning, are also important.
  • Hands-on practice is beneficial, but it is not the only way to learn effectively; different subjects and individuals may require a mix of learning methods, including theoretical study.

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4 SKILLS You Didn’t Know You Needed to Build UNBREAKABLE HABITS

Leadership, trust, and psychological safety in organizations

Simon Sinek shares insights on the essence of leadership, emphasizing the responsibility to create a sense of safety and trust. He believes leadership is a duty to people, not a position of authority, and it requires a commitment to serve others.

Leadership is a responsibility to the people around us, not just a title or rank

Leadership, according to Sinek, is about creating a circle of safety and ensuring psychological security. He argues that loving one's job should be a right, not a privilege, and leaders should contribute to this by fostering an environment where people feel physically and psychologically secure. Sinek suggests that leaders are not distinguished by their rank but by their willingness to trust first and build relationships, effectively taking risks for the benefit of their team.

Sinek also brings up that in ancient communities, survival was communal, implying that leadership and responsibility should be seen as a collective effort. He highlights the notion that shared struggles and sacrifices are the hallmarks of true leaders, who prioritize the group's well-being over personal gains.

Effective leadership can come from anyone in an organization, not just those at the top

Leadership qualities, as explained by Sinek, are not limited to the top echelons of an organization. Instead, leadership can stem from any level, as it involves caring for those directly responsible to you and inspiring devotion and mutual trust throughout an organization. He points out that this trickle-down effect starts with one person's commitment to care for their immediate environment.

Sinek acknowledges the importance of followership, where individuals contribute ideas and engage in decisions, reinforcing the concept that leadership and followership are not exclusive to those in formal positions of authority. He emphasizes that leaders—and all members of an organization—should be open to others' ideas, showcasing humility and decisiveness when necessary.

The power in an organization ultimately belongs to the people, not the leaders

Sinek argues that power fundamentally lies with the people rather than the leaders themselves. He uses examples of dictators to illustrate how leaders who operate through division and instill mistrust perpetuate their control. Conversely, when people come together in unanimity, they have the means to bring about change, as evidenced ...

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Leadership, trust, and psychological safety in organizations

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Counterarguments

  • Leadership as a responsibility to create safety and trust can sometimes conflict with the need for tough decisions that might temporarily reduce psychological safety but are necessary for long-term survival or success.
  • The idea that leadership is not about authority can be challenged by the reality that formal authority often comes with the responsibility to make decisions that are unpopular but necessary.
  • While fostering an environment of security is ideal, it can be argued that too much comfort can lead to complacency and a lack of innovation.
  • Prioritizing the well-being of the group over personal gains can sometimes lead to a suppression of individual talents and ambitions that could otherwise benefit the organization.
  • The notion that effective leadership can come from anyone might overlook the need for specialized knowledge and experience that leaders often require to be effective.
  • The idea that leadership is not limited to formal positions of authority might underestimate the challenges of leading without formal power, which can limit the ability to implement change.
  • Emphasizing followership and the contribution of ideas can lead to decision-making paralysis if not managed effectively.
  • The assertion that power belongs to the people and not the leaders can overlook the responsibility and accountability that leaders must bear, often necessitating a degree of power and control.
  • Unity among colleagues is impo ...

Actionables

  • Start a peer recognition program at work to highlight acts of leadership and service among colleagues. By encouraging employees to nominate peers who exemplify serving others and fostering trust, you create a culture that values and recognizes these behaviors. For example, create a simple nomination box where employees can drop the name of a colleague along with a brief description of their leadership actions, such as helping a team member meet a deadline or going above and beyond to ensure a safe work environment.
  • Implement a "reverse mentoring" initiative where junior staff members share their insights with more experienced leaders. This encourages the flow of ideas from all levels of an organization and recognizes that leadership can come from anyone. For instance, pair up a junior employee with a senior leader for a monthly coffee chat where they can discuss new trends, personal experiences, and innovative ideas that the junior em ...

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4 SKILLS You Didn’t Know You Needed to Build UNBREAKABLE HABITS

Differentiating between goals and systems, and the importance of systems

James Clear and Katy Milkman address the key differences between goals and systems, emphasizing the significant role that systems play in driving lasting change and success.

Goals often only change your life for a moment, while habits and systems produce lasting change

Clear stresses that achieving a goal is often a momentary change, whereas habits are a lifestyle to be lived. He touches on the idea that if you don't change the sloppy habits that contribute to a messy room, the room will become dirty again, demonstrating that reaching a goal like cleaning doesn't address the underlying behaviors.

Achieving a goal doesn't necessarily mean you've changed the underlying behaviors that led to it

The conversation then turns to the importance of systems in achieving success. Clear explains that individuals tend to fall to the level of their systems rather than rising to their goals. Outcomes are the result of systems, and it is those systems that require change, not just the outcomes themselves.

Effective systems are more important than ambitious goals for long-term success

Delving into the power of systems, Milkman suggests breaking down goals into smaller steps, advocating for detailed planning and structure to facilitate follow-through. She cites Peter Goldwitzer's research, which shows that people who craft if-then plans with specific cues for action have better success in achieving their goals. For instance, prompting people to write down their plans for getting a flu shot or voting can significantly increase flu vaccinations and voter turnout. This shows that specified plans are more effective than a broad goal.

Habits and processes that become automatic are more powerful than willpower-driven goal pursuit

Clear and Milkman argue that creating habits and automatic systems is better than relying on willpower alone to reach a goal. They emphasize that with well-designed systems, such as daily reminders or achievable benchmarks in place, the desired outputs—like maintaining a clean room—happen as a natural consequence of the structure, rather than effortful striving for a goal.

Building sustainable habits requires making the desired behaviors easy and enjoyable in the moment

Scaling down new habits to extremely small, manageable steps and making them intrinsically rewarding are key for creating lasting change

To form sustainable habits, Clear recommends scaling down new behaviors to extremely ...

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Differentiating between goals and systems, and the importance of systems

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Clarifications

  • In the context of goals and habits, systems are the processes and routines that you put in place to support your desired outcomes. Unlike goals, which are specific targets you aim to achieve, systems are the structures that help you consistently work towards those goals. Systems focus on the actions you take regularly, creating a framework that guides your behavior and leads to sustainable change over time. By developing effective systems, you make it easier to maintain habits and progress towards your goals in a more consistent and lasting manner.
  • Crafting if-then plans with specific cues for action involves creating a clear strategy where you decide in advance how you will respond to a specific situation or cue. For example, "If it is 6 p.m., then I will go for a run." This technique helps link a specific trigger (the "if" part) to a predetermined action (the "then" part), making it easier to follow through on your intentions. It's a way to proactively set up responses to potential obstacles or opportunities, increasing the likelihood of sticking to your plans.
  • The 'two-minut ...

Counterarguments

  • While systems are important, goals also play a crucial role in providing direction and motivation; without clear goals, systems may lack purpose.
  • Overemphasis on systems might lead to inflexibility, where individuals become too reliant on routines and resistant to necessary changes or adaptations.
  • The idea that achieving a goal doesn't change underlying behaviors might be too absolute; sometimes, achieving a goal can be a catalyst for long-term behavioral change.
  • The concept of falling to the level of systems can be overly deterministic, underestimating the human capacity for growth and overcoming systemic limitations.
  • Detailed planning and breaking down goals can sometimes lead to analysis paralysis, where the planning process itself becomes a barrier to action.
  • If-then plans may not always account for the complexity and unpredictability of real-life situations, which can render such plans ineffective.
  • The assertion that automatic habits are more powerful than willpower might discount the role of conscious decision-making and self-control in achieving success.
  • Making behaviors easy and enjoyable might not always be possible, especially for tasks that are inherently challenging or unplea ...

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4 SKILLS You Didn’t Know You Needed to Build UNBREAKABLE HABITS

Strategies and techniques for habit formation and goal achievement

Katy Milkman and James Clear discuss various strategies and techniques for forming habits and achieving goals, emphasizing the importance of community, accountability, and setting manageable benchmarks.

Joining a supportive community or social group can dramatically improve the chances of adopting new habits

James Clear points out that to effectively change habits, one should join a group where the desired behavior is the norm. Clear explains that when a behavior is common in a group, it no longer feels like a sacrifice but simply what is done. This adherence to the group’s norms stems from the desire to belong, suggesting that people will align their habits with the group's expectations in order not to jeopardize their membership or relationships within the group. The conversation implies that activities such as running with a group can foster a sense of community and make habits more enjoyable, indirectly supporting the idea that community norms can facilitate habit formation.

Aligning your habits with the norms and expectations of the tribe you want to belong to makes it much easier to stick with them

Running with a group, as a more enjoyable method of training for a marathon, supports the idea that aligning habits with the community's norms can ease the maintenance of those habits. Clear gives examples of behaviors influenced by groups, whether that's a religious group, a national identity, or a local community.

Putting tangible stakes or accountability on the line can provide powerful motivation to follow through on your goals

Milkman and Howes discuss the concept of commitment devices, such as accountability contracts, where money, time, or energy invested in goals boosts the likelihood of achievement due to the sunk cost fallacy. They argue that personal stakes such as the potential loss of money can incentivize people to stick to their goals, like quitting smoking. One study showed a 30% increase in quitting rates for smokers given a commitment device option.

Commitment devices like financial penalties or public pledges can shift the cost-benefit calculation and increase the likelihood of success

Accountability is crucial for achieving goals. Commitment devices can entail financial penalties that are forfeited upon failure to reach a goal. Websites like stickK or Beeminder facilitate such devices, where money is at stake for goals not met, effectively raising the stakes and the incentive to succeed.

Framing goals as smaller, more frequent benchmark ...

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Strategies and techniques for habit formation and goal achievement

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Clarifications

  • The sunk cost fallacy is the tendency to continue investing in a project or decision based on past costs, even when those costs are irrecoverable and should not influence future choices. It involves mistakenly believing that the time, money, or effort already invested justifies further investment, regardless of the overall benefit. This fallacy can lead to poor decision-making by focusing on past investments rather than evaluating the current situation objectively. Understanding sunk costs can help individuals make more rational decisions by considering only future costs and benefits.
  • A commitment device is a strategy or tool individuals use to help them stick to their goals or plans by adding a consequence, like a penalty, for failing to follow through. It can involve setting up systems where failure to act results in a loss, creating a stronger incentive to stay committed. Commitment devices are voluntary and aim to bridge the gap between short-term desires and long-term goals by introducing immediate consequences for deviating from the intended path. They are designed to combat tendencies like procrastination and akrasia, helping individuals align their actions with their long-term objectives.
  • stickK and Beeminder are websites that offer commitment devices to help individuals achieve their goals. These platforms allow users to set specific goals and attach financial stakes to them, creating accountability through the risk of losing money if the goals are not met. Users can make p ...

Counterarguments

  • While joining a supportive community can be helpful, it may also lead to groupthink or peer pressure, which could discourage individuality and personal growth.
  • Aligning habits with group norms might not always be beneficial if the group's norms are not healthy or constructive.
  • Tangible stakes or accountability can sometimes lead to increased stress and anxiety, which might be counterproductive for some individuals.
  • Commitment devices may not work for everyone, as some people might find the pressure of financial penalties or public pledges demotivating.
  • Breaking goals into smaller benchmarks could lead to a loss of sight of the bigger picture and long-term vision.
  • Focusing on daily or weekly targets might result in a short-term mindset, potentially neglecting the impo ...

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4 SKILLS You Didn’t Know You Needed to Build UNBREAKABLE HABITS

The neuroscience and psychology of learning and memory

In the discussion around learning and memory, experts emphasize the superiority of learning speed over raw intelligence, the profound influence of our thought patterns, and the necessity of active engagement in the learning process.

The speed at which we learn is more important than raw intelligence

Jim Kwik posits that the ability to learn quickly is paramount in the 21st century and that this skill can be more valuable than innate intelligence. He believes it's not about how smart you are but how you are smart, which is context-dependent. He also addresses the idea that an individual's learning style can differ from the teaching style they're exposed to, potentially creating a learning disconnect. However, we can improve our abilities in areas we perceive as weak through focus and effort, which implies that rapid learning can be developed and is more significant than intellectual capacity.

Our learning is heavily influenced by our dominant thought patterns and the questions we habitually ask ourselves

Jim Kwik delves into the idea that our thoughts, particularly the dominant ones that arise from questions we frequently ask ourselves, control our lives and influence our learning experiences. Our thinking process is essentially a series of internal question-and-answer sessions, and Kwik discusses how the persistent questions we ask can define our interactions with the world.

He provides personal insights about overcoming the label of "the boy with the broken brain" by changing the type of questions he asked himself. Kwik suggests that asking better questions altered his focus and the answers he found, which reshaped his perceptions and memories. He uses the reticular activating system (RAS) as an analogy for how our focus can be filtered by our consistent questions, much like an algorithm on social media. It is through this focus that we determine what we perceive and remember, underscoring the importance of cultivating fruitful and empowering thought patterns.

Actively engaging in the learning process through practice and application is crucial for retaining new information

Kwik highlights th ...

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The neuroscience and psychology of learning and memory

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Counterarguments

  • While learning speed is valuable, raw intelligence also plays a critical role in complex problem-solving and abstract thinking, which can be equally important in the 21st century.
  • Some cognitive abilities may have a genetic component that limits the extent to which focus and effort can improve them.
  • Thought patterns are influential, but external factors such as environment, resources, and social support also significantly impact learning outcomes.
  • The questions we ask ourselves are important, but they are not the sole determinants of our interactions with the world; external stimuli and experiences also shape our perceptions and behaviors.
  • The RAS does filter our focus, but it is not the only mechanism that determines what we perceive and remember; other cognitive processes and biases are also at play.
  • Active engagement is crucial for learning, but different individuals may benefit from a variety of learning methods, including passive ones, depending on the context and the material being learned.
  • The forgetting curve is a generalization, and its impact can vary widely among individuals and types of information.
  • Note-taking and con ...

Actionables

  • You can boost your learning by creating a 'question diary' where you jot down new questions each day that relate to your goals and interests. This practice encourages your brain to focus on finding answers throughout the day, leveraging the RAS to filter relevant information. For example, if you're learning a new language, start each day by writing questions like "How can I use today's vocabulary in real-life conversations?" or "What are common phrases a native speaker would use in a restaurant?"
  • Enhance your retention by turning your environment into an interactive learning space. Use sticky notes with key concepts and place them in areas you frequently visit during the day. Each time you encounter a note, practice recalling related information or come up with a practical application for the concept. If you're studying history, for instance, place a note about a historical event on your fridge and each time you open it, try to recall the causes and effects of that event.
  • Improve your engagement with new inform ...

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