Podcasts > The School of Greatness > "We Attract People Based on Psychological Wounds" #1 Neuroscientist Explains How to Manifest Love!

"We Attract People Based on Psychological Wounds" #1 Neuroscientist Explains How to Manifest Love!

By Lewis Howes

On The School of Greatness podcast, Tara Swart Bieber, a neuroscientist, explores the neurological underpinnings of manifestation and attraction. She delves into the science behind how people tend to attract partners with similar psychological wounds and how factors like stress hormones influence compatibility.

Swart Bieber emphasizes the importance of optimizing lifestyle elements like sleep and exercise to create a foundation for rewiring the subconscious mind. She discusses practices like meditation, gratitude, and visualization as tools for reprogramming limiting beliefs and accessing higher dimensions of consciousness. The episode provides insights into harnessing the mind's potential for manifestation.

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"We Attract People Based on Psychological Wounds" #1 Neuroscientist Explains How to Manifest Love!

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"We Attract People Based on Psychological Wounds" #1 Neuroscientist Explains How to Manifest Love!

1-Page Summary

The neuroscience of manifestation and attraction

Tara Swart Bieber highlights the importance of identifying mindsets and behaviors that lead to undesired outcomes as a first step. She emphasizes visualization, mental rehearsal, and consistent physical practice as keys to manifestation.

Attraction and compatibility

Swart Bieber notes that people tend to attract partners with similar levels of psychological wounds. She discusses how stress hormones like cortisol can influence attraction and compatibility, even being "contagious" between individuals. Women's attraction to men's [restricted term] levels varies based on fertility cycles.

The role of lifestyle, emotions, and beliefs

Swart Bieber stresses optimizing lifestyle factors like sleep, nutrition, and exercise to create a foundation for rewiring the subconscious mind. She advocates introducing small, consistent habit changes over drastic overhauls.

For Swart Bieber, faith in a higher power provides a sense of guidance. She underscores overcoming limiting beliefs about self-worth as key for successful manifestation.

Reprogramming the subconscious mind

Practices like meditation, mindfulness, gratitude, vision boards, and saying "yes" to new opportunities help shift mindsets. Swart Bieber notes that experiences exceeding expectations can be transformative.

Higher dimensions of consciousness

Swart Bieber discusses the brain's potential for untapped expanded consciousness. She cites phenomena like terminal lucidity and near-death experiences as possible implications.

Concepts like 5D consciousness may provide new perspectives. Practices like tapping into synchronicities and intuition may facilitate accessing higher dimensions.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • The efficacy of manifestation techniques such as visualization and mental rehearsal is not universally accepted in the scientific community, and evidence for their effectiveness is often anecdotal rather than empirical.
  • The idea that people attract partners with similar levels of psychological wounds is an oversimplification and does not account for the complexity of human relationships and the multitude of factors that contribute to attraction.
  • While stress hormones can influence attraction and compatibility, it is reductionist to attribute these complex social dynamics solely to biochemical processes.
  • The claim that women's attraction to men's [restricted term] levels varies based on fertility cycles is contested; some studies suggest these findings are not robust and may not hold true across different populations or contexts.
  • Lifestyle optimizations like sleep, nutrition, and exercise are indeed important for overall health, but the direct causal link to rewiring the subconscious mind is not well-established in scientific literature.
  • The role of faith in a higher power is a subjective experience and may not resonate with individuals who do not hold such beliefs or who have different spiritual or secular worldviews.
  • Overcoming limiting beliefs is a concept that can be beneficial, but it is not a one-size-fits-all solution and may not address deeper psychological issues that require professional intervention.
  • While practices such as meditation and mindfulness have been shown to have positive effects on mental health, the claim that they can reprogram the subconscious mind is a broad statement that may not be supported by rigorous scientific evidence.
  • The concept of higher dimensions of consciousness, including 5D consciousness, is speculative and not grounded in established neuroscience.
  • Phenomena like terminal lucidity and near-death experiences are not fully understood and attributing them to expanded consciousness is a hypothesis rather than a proven fact.
  • The idea of tapping into synchronicities and intuition as a means to access higher dimensions is a metaphysical claim that lacks empirical support and may be considered pseudoscientific.

Actionables

  • You can deepen your understanding of personal mindsets by keeping a decision journal where you note the outcomes of your choices and the mindsets that led to them. This practice will help you identify patterns in your thinking and behavior that may be hindering your goals. For example, if you notice that a fear of failure often precedes procrastination, you can then work on strategies to address this specific fear.
  • Enhance your attraction patterns by conducting a "relationship audit" where you reflect on past relationships and identify common psychological themes. Write down the traits of past partners, your feelings during the relationship, and any recurring issues. This can reveal your own psychological wounds that may be influencing your choice in partners, allowing you to work on healing these areas.
  • Create a "synchronicity diary" to become more attuned to coincidences and intuitive nudges in your daily life. Whenever you experience a coincidence or a strong gut feeling, jot it down along with the context and your emotional state at the time. Reviewing this diary periodically can help you recognize patterns and may guide you towards making decisions aligned with these intuitive insights. For instance, if you frequently feel drawn to a certain activity or place, exploring this inclination could lead to meaningful opportunities or connections.

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"We Attract People Based on Psychological Wounds" #1 Neuroscientist Explains How to Manifest Love!

The neuroscience of manifestation and attraction

Exploring the neuroscience behind personal development and romantic attraction, Tara Swart Bieber sheds light on the mechanisms of manifestation and the unseen forces influencing whom people are drawn to.

Manifestation is about setting a goal and taking the necessary actions to achieve it

In the pursuit of personal goals, Tara Swart Bieber emphasizes that a heightened awareness of one’s current mindsets and behaviors is essential. She highlights that recognizing and understanding old habits, thought patterns, or behaviors leading to undesired outcomes is the first step.

Visualization and mental rehearsal are crucial before taking physical actions

Swart Bieber, in her conversation with Lewis Howes, stresses the importance of mental rehearsal as part of the manifestation process. Before taking physical action, one must spend time visualizing the desired outcome. This process primes the mind for the tasks ahead.

Consistent, deliberate practice of new behaviors is key to manifesting desired outcomes

Following visualization and mental rehearsal, Swart Bieber advises actually engaging in the physical practice of new behaviors. She insists that manifestation requires both mental preparation and consistent, deliberate physical practice. To validate the effectiveness of these practices, she suggests gathering data and deliberately engaging in activities like dating or job applications to observe changes in one’s life.

Attraction is influenced by psychological wounds and stress levels

Attraction is not just a matter of personal preference but is also heavily influenced by individual psychological wounds and stress.

People tend to attract romantic partners with similar levels of psychological wounds

Swart Bieber notes that individuals often meet partners who are dealing with a similar level of psychological wounds. She warns that if one person in a partnership evolves out of their psychological wounds and the other does not, the couple may drift apart.

Stress hormones can be "contagious" and affect compatibility between people

Stress hormones, particularly cortisol, can have a contagion effect, influencing not only one’s own stress levels but also those of others around them. Swart Bieber advises that this physiological exchange can impact who one is attracted to. Furthermore, she discusses the concept of mating based on ...

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The neuroscience of manifestation and attraction

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Clarifications

  • Manifestation involves setting goals and taking actions to achieve them. In the context of neuroscience, manifestation is linked to how the brain processes thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors to influence outcomes. Understanding the neuroscience behind manifestation can help individuals leverage mental processes to manifest desired outcomes effectively. This connection highlights the power of the mind in shaping reality through intentional thought patterns and actions.
  • Psychological wounds can influence attraction by causing individuals to be drawn to partners who share similar levels of emotional baggage. This dynamic can lead to a sense of understanding and connection between individuals who have experienced comparable struggles. Additionally, unresolved psychological wounds in one partner compared to growth in the other can create imbalances that strain the relationship. Understanding how past experiences shape attraction can shed light on the complexities of romantic connections.
  • Stress hormones like cortisol can influence attraction and compatibility between individuals. These hormones can affect not only one's own stress levels but also those of people around them. The exchange of stress hormones can impact whom one is drawn to romantically. Additionally, stress hormones can play a role in partner selection and relationship dynamics.
  • Mating based on immune system compatibility suggests that individuals are naturally drawn to partners with different immune system patterns, potentially leading to healthier offspring due to a broader range of immune defenses. This compatibility may be detected through scent or other subtle cues, influencing attraction and partner selection. The exchange of immune cells between partners can occur through close physical contact, impacting overall health and well-being. This phenomenon highlights the intricate biological factors at play in human attraction and mate selection.
  • The exchange of immune cells through close contact occurs when individuals share living spaces and engage in activities like sharing a bed, utensils, bathroom space, kissing, and sexual intercourse. This exchange can influence t ...

Counterarguments

  • While manifestation involves setting goals and taking action, critics argue that the concept often overlooks systemic barriers and socioeconomic factors that can impede an individual's ability to achieve their goals.
  • The emphasis on heightened awareness and changing mindsets may not account for mental health conditions that require professional treatment beyond self-help techniques.
  • Visualization and mental rehearsal, while beneficial for some, may not be universally effective, as success also depends on external factors and opportunities that are not within an individual's control.
  • Consistent practice of new behaviors is important, but critics point out that without proper guidance or feedback, individuals may reinforce ineffective or harmful behaviors.
  • The effectiveness of manifestation practices is difficult to validate scientifically, as personal experiences and outcomes can be highly subjective and influenced by confirmation bias.
  • The idea that people attract partners with similar levels of psychological wounds is an oversimplification and does not consider the complexity of human relationships and the myriad factors that contribute to attraction.
  • While stress hormones can influence others, the extent to which they affect compatibility and attraction is not fully understood, and other factors like personality, shared interests, and values play significant roles.
  • The concept of ...

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"We Attract People Based on Psychological Wounds" #1 Neuroscientist Explains How to Manifest Love!

The role of lifestyle, emotions, and beliefs in impacting reality

Tara Swart Bieber discusses the integral role of lifestyle factors and the power of emotions and beliefs in shaping an individual's reality, emphasizing how foundational changes in habits can lead to substantial transformation.

Optimizing lifestyle factors like sleep, nutrition, and exercise creates the foundation for change

According to Swart Bieber, maintaining the "temple" of the body and mind by getting sufficient sleep, eating a diet rich in nutrients, good fats, and protein, staying adequately hydrated, and avoiding a sedentary lifestyle is critical. These aspects need to be at their best to rewire the subconscious mind effectively.

Small, consistent habit changes are more effective than drastic overhauls

Swart Bieber recommends using the Habit Share app to track and establish micro habits, targeting three habits each quarter to create effortless routines by the year-end. She focuses on tangible habits like increasing protein intake and enhancing weight-bearing exercise. Swart Bieber underscores the effectiveness of introducing multiple small changes rather than attempting a single major change, with these small but consistent modifications accumulating to improve well-being over time.

She urges starting with simple micro habits, such as drinking more water, going to bed earlier, or walking after meals, to initiate the journey towards broader lifestyle optimization. The concept that multiple small, manageable modifications are more successful than large, drastic lifestyle overhauls permeates Swart Bieber's approach.

Additionally, Swart Bieber introduces the term "neuroaesthetics" and talks about her personal guiding word "beauty," linking it to daily appreciation of beauty, such as the act of smelling flowers, and emphasizing the positive effects of being in nature and engaging in creative and aesthetic pursuits for wellbeing.

Emotions and beliefs shape one's reality and ability to manifest

Swart Bieber touches upon the power of emotions and beliefs in shaping one's reality, alluding that feelings of worthiness are pivotal to successful manifestation.

Having faith in a higher power or purpose can provide a sense of safety and guidance

Faith or belief in greater possibilities is suggested through Swart Bieber's strategy of leaving space for the unknown on vision boards. This represents an inherent belief in a force or principle that could bring about unexpected ...

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The role of lifestyle, emotions, and beliefs in impacting reality

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • Lifestyle factors are important, but genetic predispositions and environmental factors can also significantly influence an individual's ability to transform their life.
  • Small habit changes can be effective, but some individuals may require more significant lifestyle overhauls to address serious health issues or deeply ingrained behaviors.
  • Introducing multiple small changes can lead to success, but without a coherent overall strategy, these changes may not synergize effectively or may even work at cross-purposes.
  • Starting with micro habits is a good approach, but it may not be sufficient for everyone, especially those who need to see significant results quickly to stay motivated.
  • While daily appreciation of beauty and aesthetic pursuits can be beneficial, they may not be universally accessible or valued, and other forms of engagement or relaxation may be more effective for some individuals.
  • Emotions and beliefs are influential, but they are not the sole determinants of reality; external circumstances and random events also play a critical role.
  • Faith in a higher power can be comforting, but not everyone holds such beliefs, and so ...

Actionables

  • You can track your habit evolution with a "habit roadmap" by drawing a simple flowchart that outlines incremental habit changes leading to your ultimate goal. Start by identifying a broad transformation you want to achieve, then break it down into smaller habits that act as stepping stones. For example, if your goal is to eat healthier, your roadmap might start with drinking a glass of water each morning, followed by adding a serving of vegetables to your lunch, and so on.
  • Create a "beauty journal" to cultivate daily appreciation for aesthetics by writing down or sketching something beautiful you notice each day. This could be as simple as the pattern of leaves on a tree, the way light filters through a window, or a piece of art you come across online. Over time, this practice can heighten your awareness of beauty in everyday life and contribute to a positive mindset.
  • Develop a "gratitude switch" routine to transition from stress to a state of trust and love. Whenever you ...

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"We Attract People Based on Psychological Wounds" #1 Neuroscientist Explains How to Manifest Love!

Practices and techniques for reprogramming the subconscious mind

Tara Swart Bieber and Lewis Howes explore various practices to positively rewire the subconscious mind, emphasizing consistency and openness to new experiences for enduring change.

Meditation, mindfulness, and gratitude help regulate emotions and shift mindsets

Tara Swart Bieber underscores the importance of neuroplasticity, which allows for personal growth and transformation, keeping relationships vibrant over time. She delves into the science of the internal pharmacy of the brain and body that can be activated through meditation to manifest powerful effects.

Consistent practice of these techniques is required for long-term change

Swart Bieber and Howes discuss how consistent application of practices such as listening to chanting, doing a mantra, tapping, or listening to hypnosis audio can regulate emotions and shift mindsets. Speaking about her personal growth during the pandemic, Swart Bieber implies that mindfulness and gratitude are key factors in coping with such periods. Research on Buddhist monks and US Marines illustrates the significant impact of different types and consistent engagement with meditation on the brain.

Furthermore, Swart Bieber extends the concept of mindfulness to activities like spending time in nature and appreciating beauty, art, music, and even sacred geometry. Howes’ experience with meditation, seeing visions, and geometric shapes during retreats akin to those achieved via psychedelics, further illustrates profound experiences induced by these practices.

Gratitude, as emphasized by Swart Bieber, plays a crucial role in reprogramming the brain. Recalling things to be grateful for, even in trying times such as appreciating being alive and healthy, can counter negative emotions. She advises that regular gratitude practices can lead to a more abundant and emotionally free state.

Leaving "space" on vision boards allows for unexpected opportunities to arise

Swart Bieber suggests leaving open areas on vision or action boards to allow for unforeseen yet potentially valuable opportunities. By sharing a personal example, she illustrates how this openness can lead to unexpected help and the fulfillment of goals when someone in her network contributed after seeing her vision board.

Saying "yes" to unexpected = ...

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Practices and techniques for reprogramming the subconscious mind

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Counterarguments

  • While meditation, mindfulness, and gratitude can be beneficial, they are not universally effective for everyone, and some individuals may not experience the same level of benefit due to personal differences or mental health conditions.
  • Consistent practice is important, but it can also lead to frustration or feelings of failure if changes are not observed quickly, potentially discouraging individuals from continuing with these practices.
  • The idea that mindfulness extends to appreciation of nature, art, and music, while valuable, may not resonate with everyone, as different people find mindfulness and relaxation in various activities that may not traditionally be considered mindful.
  • Gratitude practices, although helpful, can sometimes be challenging for individuals going through particularly difficult times, and suggesting that gratitude can counter negative emotions might inadvertently minimize the complexity of their experiences.
  • The concept of leaving space on vision boards for unexpected opportunities assumes that such opportunities will arise and that individuals have the means to take advantage of t ...

Actionables

  • Create a 'serendipity journal' to document and reflect on unexpected opportunities and their outcomes. Start by writing down any unplanned event or offer that comes your way, no matter how small. At the end of each week, review your entries and note any positive outcomes or feelings of increased self-worth that resulted from saying "yes" to these opportunities. This practice will help you become more aware of the benefits of embracing the unexpected and may encourage you to continue doing so.
  • Design a 'dynamic vision space' in a frequently visited area of your home, like the refrigerator door or a bulletin board. Instead of a traditional vision board, use this space to post a mix of specific goals and blank spaces represented by placeholders like question marks or open frames. Regularly update and rearrange the space to reflect your evolving aspirations and to visually remind yourself to stay open to unforeseen possibilities that align with your broader intentions.
  • Integrate 'mindful observation breaks' into your daily routine to enhanc ...

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"We Attract People Based on Psychological Wounds" #1 Neuroscientist Explains How to Manifest Love!

Concepts around higher dimensions of consciousness

The hosts delve into the mysteries surrounding the brain and consciousness, exploring how phenomena like terminal lucidity and near-death experiences point toward the possibility of an expanded consciousness.

Current scientific understanding of the brain and consciousness is limited

Tara Swart Bieber discusses the "hard problem of neuroscience," which questions whether thoughts are only products of neurons and chemicals, or if there's a higher aspect to being that allows us to experience thoughts and emotions, potentially implicating that neurochemical responses could be a result of this higher state.

She brings attention to the capability of animals such as cats and dogs to sense death and other biological models that perform sensory functions beyond human capabilities, suggesting humans may also possess untapped sensory potential.

Phenomena like terminal lucidity, near-death experiences, and past-life memories suggest the possibility of expanded consciousness

Swart Bieber explores areas of research such as terminal lucidity, near-death experiences, and past-life memories, suggesting that these could be related to an expanded form of consciousness that exists outside of our current scientific understanding. Dr. Alexander Bathiani documents cases where a severely damaged brain is observed to retain full consciousness, challenging the current understanding of neurological function.

Exploring metaphysical concepts like 5D consciousness can provide new perspectives

Swart Bieber connects common phenomena such as thinking of someone and then receiving a message from them to the potential of expanded facets of human consciousness. She mentions that the concept of 5D consciousness involves opening up the dimensions of the mind and consciousness. The hosts also discuss 3D and 5D brain states, suggesting that a 5D state may allow for faster manifestation, akin to "skipping time."

Practices like tapping into synchronicities and intuition may fac ...

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Concepts around higher dimensions of consciousness

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • Scientific skepticism argues that phenomena like terminal lucidity and near-death experiences can be explained by current neuroscientific models, such as the brain's response to stress or the release of certain chemicals during trauma.
  • The idea that animals have sensory functions beyond humans is not fully substantiated; while they may have different sensory capabilities, this does not necessarily imply untapped human potential.
  • Past-life memories are often explained by psychological mechanisms such as cryptomnesia (unconscious memory recall) or the power of suggestion, rather than evidence of expanded consciousness.
  • The interpretation of severely damaged brains retaining full consciousness may be contested by the argument that these observations are anecdotal and lack rigorous scientific validation.
  • The concept of 5D consciousness is not supported by empirical evidence and is considered speculative within the scientific community.
  • The notion of faster manifestation in a 5D state is not grounded in observable or testable phenomena and thus remains a metaphysical claim without scientific backing.
  • While practices like dark retreats and simulated burial initiations may induce altered states of consciousness, there is no consensus ...

Actionables

  • You can start a dream journal to explore your subconscious and potential expanded consciousness. By writing down your dreams immediately after waking, you may begin to notice patterns or themes that could be interpreted as synchronicities or connections to a broader consciousness. Over time, you might find recurring symbols or narratives that could provide personal insights or a sense of connection with something greater.
  • Engage in sensory deprivation activities to enhance your perception. Try blindfolding yourself for an hour a day while performing regular tasks to heighten your other senses. This could help you understand and potentially expand your sensory capabilities, similar to how animals use their heightened senses. As you adapt to relying on your other senses, you may discover new ways of perceiving the world around you.
  • Practice mindfulness meditation focused on the concept of imperma ...

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