In this episode of The School of Greatness, Ed Mylett and guests explore the essence of self-confidence and share strategies for building genuine self-assurance from within. They delve into the power of intention, positive self-talk, and visualization techniques to overcome insecurity and program one's mindset for success.
The conversation also touches on the importance of living purposefully in the present moment, aligning actions with core values, and serving others. Mylett and his guests discuss shedding external identities and societal expectations to connect with one's fundamental, authentic self beyond roles and achievements. Overall, the episode provides insights and practical tips for developing confidence, embracing one's innate strengths, and living with purpose and intention.
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Ed Mylett acknowledges coexisting insecurity alongside "superhuman confidence" internally, realizing that confidence stems from within, not external achievements. He links confidence to intention over abilities, adopting a "one more" mindset to keep promises to oneself. Mylett cites the importance of faith, positive associations, and a service-oriented approach in developing self-assurance.
Mel Robbins notes that simple gestures like high-fives powerfully impact confidence and intention-setting can boost it.
Mylett describes the reticular activating system (RAS) as life's "filter," influenced by our focus. Visualization exercises can program the RAS to notice desired outcomes. Robbins emphasizes disrupting negative self-talk by visualizing "heart shapes," using countdown tricks, and disassociating from intrusive thoughts.
Mylett reflects on letting go of future-orientation and recommends techniques like putting away phones to stay engaged presently. McConaughey discusses balancing future aspirations with savoring current moments.
Both stress aligning actions with core values and serving others as key to living purposefully. McConaughey advocates identifying innate talents meeting societal needs, while Mylett cites the impact of helping his father.
McConaughey describes stripping away external identifiers to discover his fundamental self beyond roles. Mylett shares feeling truly loved unconditionally by his father, detached from accomplishments.
McConaughey advocates understanding contradictory perspectives, embracing the complexity of truth existing in the overlap between extremes.
1-Page Summary
Ed Mylett and other thought leaders share their perspectives on developing genuine self-confidence in the face of inherent insecurity, while Mel Robbins discusses the role of non-verbal encouragement in empowering individuals.
Mylett notes that genuine confidence is not about acquiring external things, sharing that achievements like owning an island don't boost his confidence because true confidence arises internally. He speaks of having "superhuman confidence in spite of my insecurity," suggesting that it's possible to have confidence coexist with feelings of insecurity.
Mylett learned that positive emotions like happiness already existed within him and did not need to be sought externally. He understands that these emotions were always present since childhood but were obscured due to societal programming and experiences.
He reflects on his past belief that love had to be earned through achievements and how he often criticized himself for his mistakes. Mylett has now realized that love is unconditional and should not be conditioned upon worth or constant achievement. Further, he talks about the concept of equanimity and the ability to remain calm under pressure, much like athletes such as Tom Brady.
Developing a "one more" mindset to build a habit of keeping promises to oneself, Mylett discusses his “One More Standard,” where doing the task plus "one more" serves as a means to surpass expectations and maintain commitments to oneself.
Mylett believes that one's confidence can be strengthened by their faith, which remains constant regardless of circumstances. He discusses how faith played a pivotal role in his understanding of the profound impact a stranger had on his father's life by helping him get sober.
Mylett also acknowledges the importance of positive influences or "associations" that can significantly alter one's levels of self-confidence.
Overcoming Insecurity and Building Genuine Self-Confidence
Experts, including Ed Mylett and Mel Robbins, discuss how to leverage the reticular activating system (RAS) and replace negative self-talk with positive patterns to reshape one's reality.
Ed Mylett describes the RAS as the "filter for your entire life," highlighting its role in what we perceive around us. He uses the example of how, after purchasing a Tesla, he started to notice Teslas everywhere, because the RAS brings into focus what we concentrate on. Robbins likens the RAS to a bouncer at a bar, determining what stimuli to block and what to allow into our consciousness, as we're constantly bombarded by an enormous amount of information equivalent to 34 days of cellphone data every day.
Repeated visualization, Mylett advises, can reprogram the RAS to highlight desired elements in one's life, such as relationships and thoughts. Imagination is key, as it enables the creation of novel ideas which then compel both the brain and the universe to fulfill. Robbins emphasizes visualizing not just the goals but the bridge between the current reality and the desired outcomes, including potential challenges and hard work. This type of visualization can prime the mind for the effort and resilience required. She articulates a practice that involves visualizing naturally occurring heart shapes and celebrating when seeing them, encouraging the brain to notice and "supercharge" positive opportunities.
Mylett and Robbins stress the importance of self-awareness in identifying and changing limiting beliefs and negative thought patterns, some of which may be deeply ingrained from a young age. Mylett speaks of recognizing his own "emotional home" of chaos and actively redirecting his thoughts to healthier ones. Robbins introduces a "five second rule" to interrupt negative thoughts and regain a moment of control. She advocates for the acknowledgment of the negative thought and the conscious decision to not continue dwelling on it.
Robbins also recommends using physical gestures such as the high-five habit to disrupt negative self-talk and transition to a more positiv ...
The Power of the Mind and Programming Positive Self-Talk
In the quest for personal and professional growth, Ed Mylett, Tony Robbins, and Matthew McConaughey share insights on living with greater mindfulness, purpose, and intention.
Mylett acknowledges his own past struggles with being in the present. Before he got married, he was always oriented toward the future, a mindset that, while beneficial for innovation, caused him to miss out on the now. Similarly, McConaughey shares an episode during a trip where his focus on the destination prevented him from truly experiencing the present, such as when he witnessed an extraordinary sight of butterflies. Both emphasize the importance of balancing future aspirations with present experiences.
Mylett advocates for specific strategies to foster present engagement, like turning off his phone after arriving home and taking a moment to transition before connecting with his family. Similarly, Robbins suggests that starting the day with a routine that sets intentions can help maintain a present and engaged mindset throughout the day. This focus on the immediate moments of life, seeing them as "dots on the map" in Robbins’s metaphor, can enrich the journey itself.
McConaughey urges individuals to double down on what already provides meaning and value in their lives, suggesting that aligning one's career with innate talents and societal needs creates a "sweet spot." This alignment allows for both personal fulfillment and the ability to meet life's essential demands—a foundational step in waking up with a sense of purpose. He discusses the importance of staying true to personal values and priorities when making decisions, ensuring care for himself, his family, and his spirituality.
Living with Presence, Purpose, and Intention
As Matthew McConaughey and Ed Mylett share their thoughts and experiences, it becomes clear that shedding constructed identities can lead to a profound connection with one's core self.
Matthew McConaughey recounts a pivotal journey in his life where he removed personal talismans that represented aspects of his identity, such as his father's ring and his American cap. He questioned who he was before these external markers and titles defined him. This process of identity stripping led to his realization that beyond the external accolades and possessions, he is fundamentally a human being, a mammal, and as a believer, a child of God.
Similarly, Ed Mylett describes reaching a point in his life where he no longer feels compelled to prove his happiness or worth to others. He reflects on experiencing persistent self-doubt despite external perceptions of his success. Accepting these feelings as a part of the human experience helped him connect to a more authentic self.
Moreover, Mylett shares a profound moment where he felt truly loved by his father for the first time, an unconditional love that extended beyond his successes. This acknowledgment helped him realize that his identity went far deeper than his accomplishments.
Matthew McConaughey speaks to the concept of embracing paradox, suggesting that truth lies in the overlap of contrasting ideas and perspectives, a place he refers to as the "third eye." He advocates for understanding and accepting that multiple, seemingly contradictory truths can exist simultaneously. McConaughey emphasizes the value of understand ...
Shedding Identities to Connect with One's Core Self
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