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How the Wealthiest Families Teach Their Kids About Money! Do This to Unlock Abundance!

By Lewis Howes

In this episode of The School of Greatness, host Lewis Howes and guest Scott Donnell discuss strategies for teaching children about money and instilling positive financial habits. Donnell emphasizes the importance of passing on a family's values and heritage, rather than just material wealth. He shares practical systems he's developed, such as the "home economy" to teach kids about earning, budgeting, and creating value.

Donnell also offers advice on cultivating an abundance mindset around money, distinguishing between appreciating and depreciating debt, and striking a balance between generosity and enabling dependency. The conversation provides a framework for parents to have open conversations about money with their children and equip them with financial skills and healthy perspectives from an early age.

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How the Wealthiest Families Teach Their Kids About Money! Do This to Unlock Abundance!

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How the Wealthiest Families Teach Their Kids About Money! Do This to Unlock Abundance!

1-Page Summary

Passing on Family Legacy and Values

Scott Donnell emphasizes passing on heritage - values, mindsets, skill sets - over just inheritance and material wealth. He advocates involving children in family decisions and activities like "dinnerviews" to reinforce family values. Donnell stresses creating a "family DNA" of core values like faith, integrity, and hard work.

Practical Money Education Systems

Donnell created the "home economy" system to teach children about earning, budgeting, and creating value beyond just doing chores for allowance. Children have "expected standards" as family members and optional paid "gigs" to learn value creation. Donnell suggests tying compensation to value produced, not time spent. He also involves children in budgeting and planning household expenses.

Developing a Healthy Money Mindset

Donnell discusses overcoming money trauma and scarcity mindsets by shifting to an abundance mentality focused on value creation. He emphasizes separating self-worth from net worth - money simply amplifies existing traits, good or bad, but true wealth stems from relationships, service, and values.

Money and Generosity as an Adult

Donnell discerns between generous "I love you" gifts that uplift recipients and "coasting" gifts that enable dependency. He advocates teaching giving and value creation. For debt, Donnell distinguishes between "appreciating" and "depreciating" debt and stresses maintaining financial discipline over entitlement.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • "Dinnerviews" are a concept introduced by Scott Donnell to combine the idea of family dinners with interviews. It involves structured conversations during mealtime where parents engage with their children to discuss important topics, share values, and reinforce family bonds. The term is a blend of "dinner" and "interview," highlighting the intentional and interactive nature of these discussions. The goal is to create a platform for open communication and the passing on of family legacy and values in a relaxed and familiar setting like the dinner table.
  • The "home economy" system is a method developed by Scott Donnell to educate children about financial concepts like earning, budgeting, and creating value within the family setting. It involves setting "expected standards" for children as family members and offering optional paid tasks or "gigs" to teach them about value creation. This system emphasizes compensating children based on the value they produce rather than just the time they spend on tasks, aiming to instill a practical understanding of money management from a young age. By involving children in budgeting, planning household expenses, and teaching them about financial responsibility, the "home economy" system helps cultivate a healthy money mindset and financial literacy in children.
  • In the context of family dynamics, "expected standards" as family members typically refer to the responsibilities and behaviors that are considered normal or required within the family unit. These standards can include tasks, attitudes, and actions that contribute to the functioning and well-being of the family as a whole. They help establish a framework for how family members interact, support each other, and contribute to the household.
  • In the context of teaching children about value creation and practical money skills, "gigs" typically refer to small tasks or jobs that children can undertake for payment within the family economy system. These gigs are designed to help children understand the concept of earning money through their efforts and contributions beyond their regular responsibilities. By engaging in gigs, children can learn about the relationship between effort, value creation, and financial compensation in a hands-on way. This approach aims to instill a sense of responsibility, work ethic, and financial literacy in children from a young age.
  • "Appreciating" debt typically refers to debt that is used to acquire assets that increase in value over time, such as real estate or investments. On the other hand, "depreciating" debt is debt incurred for items that decrease in value or do not generate returns, like consumer goods or depreciating assets. Understanding the difference between these two types of debt can help individuals make more informed financial decisions and distinguish between leveraging debt for wealth-building versus accumulating debt that hinders financial progress.

Counterarguments

  • While involving children in family decisions can be beneficial, it may also place undue stress on them or expose them to adult concerns prematurely.
  • The concept of "family DNA" might be too rigid and not account for the individual identities and values of each family member.
  • The "home economy" system may not fully prepare children for real-world financial complexities or the emotional aspects of money management.
  • Tying compensation to value produced could lead to a transactional view of family relationships and undervalue non-economic contributions.
  • The expectation of "expected standards" might not take into account a child's unique capabilities or developmental stages.
  • Overcoming money trauma and scarcity mindsets is a complex psychological process that may require professional intervention beyond a simple shift to an abundance mentality.
  • Separating self-worth from net worth is important, but the text may oversimplify the deep-seated issues that tie self-esteem to financial success in many cultures.
  • The dichotomy between "I love you" gifts and "coasting" gifts may not acknowledge the nuanced reasons people give gifts and the positive effects of receiving support during difficult times.
  • The emphasis on value creation could overshadow the importance of altruism and generosity without expectation of return.
  • The distinction between "appreciating" and "depreciating" debt doesn't address the systemic issues that often necessitate taking on debt, regardless of its potential to appreciate or depreciate.
  • Financial discipline is crucial, but the text may not acknowledge the structural barriers that make financial discipline more challenging for some individuals.

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How the Wealthiest Families Teach Their Kids About Money! Do This to Unlock Abundance!

Passing on family legacy and values

Scott Donnell elaborates on the importance of imparting not just wealth, but values and life lessons to family, focusing on heritage over inheritance.

Imparting values and life lessons to children

Donnell discusses various methods by which families can pass on their legacies, emphasizing that it's about much more than material wealth.

Focusing on heritage over just inheritance

Donnell criticizes the financial industry’s focus on inheriting assets. He points out that wealth is often squandered by the third generation and that inheritance can lead to more issues for the recipients. Instead, he believes heritage which involves passing down values, mindsets, skill sets, and a family's essence, is much richer than material wealth. Heritage means taking pride in the family name and in what that name stands for, such as being generous or hardworking.

Involving children in family decisions and activities

Donnell introduces the concept of "dinnerviews," a practice where his family's children conduct interviews during meals with a diverse set of guests, including investors and family friends, allowing them to learn from others' experiences and wisdom. He shares that involving children in building the family's essence and the 'smell' that the family name brings up is essential. By engaging in these discussions, children internalize family values and understand their role within the larger heritage. Donnell also describes an activity where children hunt for daily stories that demonstrate family values, sharing them during dinner, reinforcing the idea of involving kids in the family's collective decisions.

Building a family "DNA" or crest of core values

Donnell stresses the creation of a family DNA or crest that captures the family's core values. His family adheres to values summed up as "faith, family, and fish" which encapsulate core principles like faith, family, fun and adventure, integrity, service, and hard work. These values are instilled in the children daily, and t ...

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Passing on family legacy and values

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • "Dinnerviews" is a practice where children in a family conduct interviews during meals with a diverse group of guests, such as investors and family friends. This practice allows children to learn from the experiences and wisdom of others, helping them understand different perspectives and values. By engaging in these discussions, children internalize family values and their role within the family's heritage. It is a way to involve children in building the family's essence and passing down important values.
  • A family "DNA" or crest of core values is a symbolic representation of the fundamental beliefs and principles that a family holds dear. It serves as a visual or conceptual reminder of the values that the family collectively upholds and strives to pass down through generations. This concept helps to define the identity and essence of the family, encapsulating what they stand for and what is important to them. By creating a family DNA or crest of core values, families can reinforce and preserve their unique heritage and legacy for the future.
  • Families with similar values coming together to form communal support systems is about like-minded families uniting to provide mutual assistance, guidance, and reinforcement in upholding shared beliefs and principles. These support systems create a network where families can strengthen their commitment to their values and traditions, fostering a supportive environment for passing down these values to future generations. It involves building a community of trust and understanding among families who prioritize similar core principles and seek to preserve and promote them collectively. This collaboration enhances the reinforcement and perpetuation of the values that are important to each family involved.
  • In the context of instilling values within a family, the idea of surpassing predecessors means encouraging children to not only uphold the values passed down to them but also to improve upon them. It involves inspiring the next generation to build upon the foundation laid by their ancestors, aiming for personal g ...

Counterarguments

  • While passing down values and life lessons is important, it is also essential to ensure that children are financially literate and capable of managing any inheritance they may receive.
  • Emphasizing heritage over inheritance might overlook the practical benefits of financial security that inheritance can provide.
  • Involving children in family decisions and activities is beneficial, but it is also important to allow them autonomy and the ability to form their own values and beliefs.
  • The concept of a family "DNA" or crest may inadvertently pressure children to conform to predetermined values rather than developing their own individual identities.
  • Defining a unique set of family values is important, but it should be flexible enough to adapt to the changing beliefs and circumstances of each generation.
  • Communal support systems are valuable, but they can also create echo chambers that limit exposure to diverse perspectives and experiences.
  • Sharing family narratives and experiences is a powerful way to teach heritage, but ...

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Practical systems and strategies for teaching children about money

Scott Donnell shares his insights on implementing practical methods to educate children about money through systems like the "home economy," rather than the traditional allowance-for-chores approach.

The "home economy" system for allowance and chores

Donnell criticizes the simple giving of allowances for chores as ineffective and equates it with socialism. Instead, he created the "home economy" system, which teaches children about expectations as family members, managing expenses, and earning extra money through "gigs."

Differentiating between expected "standards" and paid "gigs"

Donnell clarifies that chores should be split into two categories: "expectations" and "gigs." Expectations, such as making the bed or doing the dishes, are standards of being part of the family and are not compensated. On the other hand, "gigs" are tasks that go beyond these standards, providing children with the opportunity to earn money. Donnell argues that children should understand their family values and that by participating in gigs they learn where to go to earn money for their upcoming expenses.

Tying compensation to value creation, not just time spent

Donnell emphasizes that compensation should be tied to the creation of value, not just the time spent on an activity. He proposes "brain gigs," like learning from podcasts or TED Talks, where children can earn by reporting what they've learned, stressing the importance of the value created from the activity.

He encourages children to look for opportunities to create value within the family or the community, and for parents to decide how much that contribution is worth. This way, children learn to create material, emotional, and spiritual value. Paid tasks, or "gigs," provide a way for children to earn money and learn the concept of value creation.

Involving children in household budgeting and ...

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Practical systems and strategies for teaching children about money

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • In the context of teaching children about money, equating the traditional allowance-for-chores approach with socialism suggests a comparison between the idea of receiving money for basic responsibilities (chores) without a direct link to additional effort or value creation, and the concept of a system where resources are distributed based on need rather than individual effort or contribution. This comparison highlights the shift towards a more merit-based system in the "home economy" approach, where children are encouraged to earn money through additional tasks that go beyond basic family responsibilities.
  • In the context of chores, "expectations" are tasks considered standard responsibilities within the family that are not compensated. "Gigs," on the other hand, are additional tasks that go beyond these standard responsibilities and provide children with the opportunity to earn money. This differentiation helps children understand the distinction between routine household duties and extra tasks that involve earning money. It teaches children the value of contributing to the family beyond their basic responsibilities.
  • "Brain gigs" are tasks that involve children engaging in activities that stimulate their minds, such as listening to podcasts or TED Talks, and then sharing what they've learned. By completing these tasks, children can earn money based on the value they create through their understanding and articulation of the information. This concept encourages children to not only spend time learning but also to demonstrate their comprehension and critical thinking skills in exchange for financial rewards. Through "brain gigs," children can develop a deeper appreciation for learning and the practical application of knowledge in real-life scenarios.
  • Involving children in budgeting and financial planning for family trips means including them in decisions about how much to spend, where to go, and what activities to prioritize based on the allocated budget. This practice helps children understand the financial constraints and trade-offs involved in planning a trip, teaching them valuable lessons about budgeting and decision-making. I ...

Counterarguments

  • The "home economy" system may not account for the varying developmental stages of children and their ability to understand complex financial concepts.
  • Equating the traditional allowance-for-chores approach to socialism oversimplifies both the economic system and the nuances of household chore management.
  • Not all value creation is easily quantifiable, and children may struggle to understand why some tasks are paid while others are not.
  • The system may inadvertently teach children that all forms of contribution should have a financial reward, potentially undermining the intrinsic value of helping and being part of a family.
  • Involving children in household budgeting and expenses could lead to undue stress or anxiety about financial matters at a young age.
  • The system assumes that all families have the resources to pay children for "gigs," which may not be the case in lower-income households.
  • The focus on individual earning and responsibility may not foster a sense of collective family responsibility and teamwork.
  • The approach may not be inclusiv ...

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Developing a healthy money mindset and psychology

Donnell talks about achieving financial success without compromising one's integrity and the importance of embedding value creation in children. The conversation underscores the significance of not equating financial status with self-worth.

Overcoming money trauma and scarcity mindsets

Shifting to an abundance mentality focused on value creation

Lewis Howes introduces the concept of money trauma and discusses how it affects families, even contributing to divorces and causing resentment. Donnell echoes this concern, referencing a study that showed financial competencies are not well passed on to children. Donnell points out that the traditional methods taught to parents, such as giving allowances and suggesting lemonade stands, might not be effective. He underlines the importance of teaching children how to earn money as a means of encouraging an abundance mentality over a scarcity mindset.

Scott Donnell highlights the negative connotation of money that contributes to it being viewed as a source of conflict. He suggests overcoming money trauma by addressing viewpoints on money, understanding how someone was raised with it, and discussing future financial aspirations to help partners align and overcome previous negative mindsets related to money.

Donnell presents the idea that individuals can view challenging situations as opportunities for growth, implying that such situations can become learning opportunities and ways to help others. He also stresses the importance of teaching children to create value, not just money, emphasizing that focusing on value creation can lead to a healthier relationship with money.

Donnell discusses the importance of understanding that money should not be tied to one's identity and should be seen as a store of value. He encourages finding ways to create material value in the world by leveraging personal skills and passions. Donnell stresses the importance of charging for results, not time and effort, as a foundational principle for creating value and establishing a life of wealth.

Separating personal identity and self-worth from net worth

Donnell touches on the dangers of a scarcity mindset, which he associates with a close connection between self-worth and financial status. He advocates for the idea that one's worth shouldn't be measured b ...

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Developing a healthy money mindset and psychology

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Money trauma can stem from negative experiences or beliefs about money acquired in childhood or past experiences. This trauma can lead to unhealthy attitudes towards money, affecting how individuals manage finances and view wealth. In families, money trauma can manifest as conflicts over financial decisions, contributing to stress, resentment, and even relationship breakdowns. Addressing and overcoming money trauma involves understanding its roots, reshaping beliefs about money, and fostering healthier attitudes towards financial matters within the family unit.
  • An abundance mentality is a mindset that focuses on opportunities, growth, and the belief that there is enough for everyone. It involves seeing the world as full of possibilities and resources. On the other hand, a scarcity mindset is characterized by a fear of lack, competition, and the belief that resources are limited, leading to feelings of insecurity and hoarding behaviors. The abundance mentality encourages collaboration and creativity, while the scarcity mindset often leads to feelings of anxiety and a zero-sum view of the world.
  • Charging for results, not time and effort, means focusing on the value delivered rather than the hours worked. It emphasizes the importance of outcomes and the impact created rather than the time spent on a task. This approach encourages efficiency, effectiveness, and a results-oriented mindset in business and personal endeavors. By valuing results over time, individuals can prioritize productivity and effectiveness in achieving their goals.
  • Separating personal identity from net worth means understanding that one's value as a person is not solely determined by their financial status. It involves recognizing that one's worth is not defined by the amount of money they have but by the intrinsic qualities and contributions they bring to the world. This concept emphasizes the importance of valuing oneself beyond material wealth and focusing on aspects like relationships, personal growth, a ...

Counterarguments

  • While teaching value creation is important, it may not be sufficient for financial success; practical financial management skills are also crucial.
  • Equating financial status with self-worth can sometimes motivate individuals to achieve more and improve their financial literacy.
  • Traditional methods of teaching about money, like allowances and lemonade stands, can still impart basic financial principles and work ethic.
  • An abundance mentality is beneficial, but without proper risk management and financial planning, it can lead to impractical expectations and financial missteps.
  • Addressing viewpoints on money is important, but it may not be enough to overcome deep-seated money trauma without professional help or therapy.
  • Viewing challenging situations as opportunities for growth is positive, but it's also important to acknowledge and address the emotional and psychological toll they can take.
  • While focusing on value creation is ideal, in some industries and jobs, compensation is traditionally tied to time and effort, and changing this may not be feasible.
  • Separating personal identity from net worth is a healthy perspective, but societal structures often measure success in financial terms, which can impact self-esteem and opportunities.
  • Charging for results can incentivize efficiency, but it may also lead to cutting corners or unethical practices if not balanced with quality and integrity.
  • Overcoming trauma related to money is important, ...

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How the Wealthiest Families Teach Their Kids About Money! Do This to Unlock Abundance!

Navigating money as an adult (giving, debt, generosity)

The complex relationship adults have with money spans the spectrum from generous giving to the wise management of debt. Reflecting on personal experiences and broader societal practices, Scott Donnell and Lewis Howes explore the principles of financial wisdom and generosity, as well as the nuanced approaches to dealing with debt.

Principles of wise giving and generosity

Discerning between "I love you" gifts and "coasting" gifts

Donnell introduces the idea that there are two types of gifts: "I love you" gifts that are given out of love and "coasting" gifts that potentially diminish the recipient's desire to create value. The concern is that generous gifts should not encourage dependency but should instead foster growth and self-sufficiency in the recipient. Donnell proposes that generosity needs to be thoughtful to enable the recipient to continue striving for personal achievement.

Strategies for helping others create value, not just giving handouts

He advocates for a system where children learn the value of money and generosity firsthand. Children are encouraged to earn the money needed to purchase gifts for others, thereby understanding the concept of giving and value creation intimately. Donnell highlights the importance of teaching children about money and the impact of giving, rather than simply providing for every need or want. By involving kids in giving decisions and explaining the value behind each act of generosity, parents can foster a sense of service and contribution in their children.

Approaches to debt and financial leverage

Differentiating between "appreciating" and "depreciating" debt

In the context of debt, Donnell makes a distinction between "appreciating" debt, like mortgages or business loans that could potentially increase in value, and "depreciating" debt, such as high-interest credit cards or controversially, college debt. Donnell suggests a strategy where parents could match dollar for dollar what their kids save and earn towards college, incentivizing them to value their education and seek scholarships and grants, thus teaching the importance of creating value and avoiding harmful debt.

Maintaining financial discipline and avoiding entitlement

Donnell mentions the impact of his family ...

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Navigating money as an adult (giving, debt, generosity)

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • "I love you" gifts are given out of genuine love and care, focusing on the emotional connection between the giver and the recipient. On the other hand, "coasting" gifts are given without much thought or intention, potentially leading to a sense of entitlement in the recipient. The distinction lies in the underlying motivation and impact of the gift on the recipient's sense of value and self-sufficiency. It's about ensuring that gifts encourage growth and appreciation rather than dependency.
  • "Appreciating" debt typically involves borrowing money for investments that have the potential to increase in value over time, like a mortgage for a property or a business loan. On the other hand, "depreciating" debt usually refers to borrowing for things that lose value or do not generate additional income, such as high-interest credit card debt or student loans without clear career benefits. Distinguishing between these types of debt helps individuals make more informed financial decisions and prioritize borrowing that can contribute to their overall financial well-being. Understanding the difference can guide individuals towards leveraging debt for wealth-building purposes while avoiding unnecessary financial strain from debt that does not offer long-term value.
  • Matching children's savings for college involves parents contributing money to their child's college fund in a way that mirrors the child's own savings efforts. This strategy aims to incentivize children to save for their education, teaching them the value of financial responsibility and the importance of avoiding excessive debt. By matching their savings, parents encourage children to take an active role in funding their education, instilling a sense of ownership and appreciation for the value of their academic pursuits. This approach helps children understand the significance of cre ...

Counterarguments

  • While distinguishing between "I love you" gifts and "coasting" gifts, it's important to recognize that the intention behind a gift can be multifaceted, and even gifts that seem to encourage dependency can have a positive impact on relationships and emotional well-being.
  • Teaching children about money and value creation is crucial, but it's also important to balance this with lessons on compassion and altruism that are not tied to monetary value.
  • The differentiation between "appreciating" and "depreciating" debt may oversimplify complex financial decisions; for instance, some "depreciating" debts, like education loans, can lead to long-term value in the form of career opportunities and personal growth.
  • Matching children's savings for college can be a great incentive, but it may not be feasible for all families, especially those with limited financial resources, and could potentially widen the gap between different socio-economic groups.
  • Emphasizing financial discipline and avoiding entitlement is important, but it's also necessary to acknowledge that some individuals may require more direct support due to systemic inequalities or personal circumstances. ...

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