The Red Flags You Keep Ignoring! (Don’t Let Men Treat You Like This!!)

Many people engage in self-sabotaging patterns that prevent them from being happy. Despite their efforts to change, they end up reverting to their unwanted behaviors and feel powerless to adopt healthier patterns.

In How to Do the Work, holistic psychologist and bestselling author Nicole LePera argues that you can live a healthier, happier life by taking control of your self-destructive patterns. According to her, such patterns stem from unresolved childhood traumatic experiences. Therefore, the key to overcoming unwanted patterns lies in addressing these traumas.

This guide discusses LePera’s advice for overcoming self-sabotaging patterns. You’ll come away with the tools to:

• Understand the root cause of your self-sabotaging patterns
• Become more conscious of how childhood conditioning impacts your mental and physical health
• Develop positive patterns that improve your well-being
• Feel happier, healthier, and more in control of your life

Additionally, we’ll expand upon each of LePera’s ideas with research, advice, and actionable ideas from psychologists and self-improvement practitioners.

How can you find and keep a happy relationship? In How to Not Die Alone, Logan Ury—behavioral scientist, dating coach, and Director of Relationship Science at the dating app Hinge—presents a science-backed approach for finding the true love you’ve always wanted so you can do exactly what the title says.

In this guide, you’ll first learn about yourself: How are your patterns sabotaging your quest for true love, and how can you overcome them? Then, you’ll learn about your future partner: Why do you keep searching for the wrong person, how do you find the right one—and how can you get to know them effectively? Finally, you’ll learn about being in a relationship: How can you navigate the twists and turns effectively, how can a relationship contract keep you happy long-term, and how can you end it smartly if you decide it’s not right for you? Along the way, you’ll discover how Ury’s advice compares to that of other relationship experts and learn further strategies to implement Ury’s suggestions.

What qualities does a “real man” display? Are men who play the role of a strong protector and provider a relic from the past—or even toxic and dangerous? Popular blogger and podcaster Rollo Tomassi says no.

In The Rational Male, Tomassi explains that men need to resist women’s calls to be nicer, gentler, and more emotional. Trying to be more like women will only keep men subjugated to a feminine agenda. Instead, men must reclaim their masculinity to achieve the freedom, confidence, and success they want.

In this guide, we’ll review Tomassi’s interpretations of what drives men and women—and the lies behind the feminine agenda that, according to Tomassi, allow women to manipulate men. We’ll also examine research in biology, sociology, and psychology that explores the concepts Tomassi mentions.

What qualities does a “real man” display? Are men who play the role of a strong protector and provider a relic from the past—or even toxic and dangerous? Popular blogger and podcaster Rollo Tomassi says no.

In The Rational Male, Tomassi explains that men need to resist women’s calls to be nicer, gentler, and more emotional. Trying to be more like women will only keep men subjugated to a feminine agenda. Instead, men must reclaim their masculinity to achieve the freedom, confidence, and success they want.

In this guide, we’ll review Tomassi’s interpretations of what drives men and women—and the lies behind the feminine agenda that, according to Tomassi, allow women to manipulate men. We’ll also examine research in biology, sociology, and psychology that explores the concepts Tomassi mentions.

How can you find and keep a happy relationship? In How to Not Die Alone, Logan Ury—behavioral scientist, dating coach, and Director of Relationship Science at the dating app Hinge—presents a science-backed approach for finding the true love you’ve always wanted so you can do exactly what the title says.

In this guide, you’ll first learn about yourself: How are your patterns sabotaging your quest for true love, and how can you overcome them? Then, you’ll learn about your future partner: Why do you keep searching for the wrong person, how do you find the right one—and how can you get to know them effectively? Finally, you’ll learn about being in a relationship: How can you navigate the twists and turns effectively, how can a relationship contract keep you happy long-term, and how can you end it smartly if you decide it’s not right for you? Along the way, you’ll discover how Ury’s advice compares to that of other relationship experts and learn further strategies to implement Ury’s suggestions.

Why do we make the same bad choices over and over? Why do we constantly find ourselves in unfulfilling relationships, hating our jobs, and rubbing people the wrong way—and not knowing why? The authors of The School of Life have an answer: because you lack emotional intelligence. According to them, we’re not taught how to understand and cope with our feelings and the feelings of others, and this leads us to make poor decisions and to be miserable. However, by developing emotional intelligence across several realms of life, you can better understand yourself and lead a happier life.

The School of Life is an educational organization that offers materials to support personal growth. Several of its authors collaborated on this book. In this guide, we’ll discuss the authors’ argument that we don’t have emotional intelligence and examine how they say you can gain emotional intelligence about yourself, others, relationships, and work. We’ll supplement this with scientific research that backs up or contradicts some of the authors’ claims, and with insights from other self-help authors on ways to implement the authors’ advice.

You probably know someone who regularly blows things out of proportion, or who insists on having the same argument over and over, or constantly tries to one-up other people. According to Dr. Eric Berne, a pioneering psychiatrist who broke away from the Freudian tradition, those are just two of the games that people play in work, love, sex, and friendship.

Games People Play is Berne’s 1964 classic about the many ways that we habitually relate to one another through “games.” These aren’t fun, harmless social games, though—they’re subtle, largely unconscious patterns that harm us and our relationships. Berne explains how most of us don’t even notice our games, and how we’re missing out on the fulfillment of game-free living.

In our guide, we’ll explore the foundations of Berne’s theory and build up to an extensive discussion of games, before finishing with his strategies for growing into a fuller way of living. We’ve also added psychological perspectives from Freud to modern-day and updated Berne’s ideas.

In Come As You Are, author Emily Nagoski uses scientific research and her years of experience as a sex educator to change the negative way that women talk, think, and feel about their sexuality due to years of misinformation and harmful cultural messaging surrounding sex. Arguing that a scientific perspective on sexuality can free women from unrealistic standards and help them to appreciate their individual experiences, Nagoski considers sexuality from every biological angle while dispelling cultural misconceptions along the way.

In this guide, we’ll follow Nagoski’s exploration of topics ranging from basic anatomy and the mechanics of sexual response to individual experiences of arousal, desire, and orgasm. As we discuss each of these concepts, we’ll compare Nagoski’s arguments to those of other experts in her field, discuss additional research on human sexuality, and add historical and cultural context to her ideas.

What would happen if you faced your fears and said “yes” to everything outside your comfort zone for a whole year? In Year of Yes, Shonda Rhimes, the celebrated television screenwriter and producer of the hit series “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Scandal,” answers that very question. Rhimes recounts her journey of personal growth and transformation as she embarks on a year-long experiment to say "yes" to everything that scares her. From giving public speeches to prioritizing playtime with her daughters, Rhimes pushes herself out of her comfort zone and learns to embrace new experiences.

In this guide, we’ll explore Rhimes’s journey from a life of merely surviving to full-hearted thriving and outline the meaningful lessons she wishes to pass on to her readers so they, too, can reclaim their lives from fear. Along the way, we’ll compare the author's ideas to those of other similar self-help writers and provide additional context from sociology and psychology experts to help you better understand and apply Rhimes’s insights to your life.

How can you find and keep a happy relationship? In How to Not Die Alone, Logan Ury—behavioral scientist, dating coach, and Director of Relationship Science at the dating app Hinge—presents a science-backed approach for finding the true love you’ve always wanted so you can do exactly what the title says.

In this guide, you’ll first learn about yourself: How are your patterns sabotaging your quest for true love, and how can you overcome them? Then, you’ll learn about your future partner: Why do you keep searching for the wrong person, how do you find the right one—and how can you get to know them effectively? Finally, you’ll learn about being in a relationship: How can you navigate the twists and turns effectively, how can a relationship contract keep you happy long-term, and how can you end it smartly if you decide it’s not right for you? Along the way, you’ll discover how Ury’s advice compares to that of other relationship experts and learn further strategies to implement Ury’s suggestions.

The Big Leap, by psychologist and personal growth coach Gay Hendricks, aims to help you overcome the psychological barriers to success and fulfillment. Hendricks asserts that, while we all have an innate call toward our most successful and fulfilling life, even highly successful people are often unable to achieve beyond a self-imposed limit, a “happiness threshold.” As you achieve greater success, Hendricks says you reach this threshold, which triggers self-sabotaging behaviors.

Hendricks explains how our happiness thresholds are established early in life, through the adoption of false beliefs, and how to identify your own false beliefs. He offers practical advice for applying this new knowledge to your life and relationships, in order to take the “big leap” into living your best life.

We’ll compare Hendricks’s ideas on happiness, limiting beliefs, and self-sabotage with those of other authors and experts, and we’ll explore the scientific research behind key concepts.