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Once You Learn THIS, You Will Never Be the Same (Life Lessons From an 88 Year Old)

By Stitcher

In this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, Judge Frank Caprio shares his life story and philosophy of justice, shaped by his upbringing in a family that valued compassion over material wealth. Drawing from his father's example as a milkman who helped struggling families and his own experiences in law, Caprio explains how he developed his approach to justice—one that emphasizes empathy and human dignity in the courtroom.

The conversation explores how Caprio's principles have resonated globally through his show "Caught in Providence" and his presence on social media. At 88 years old and facing health challenges, Caprio discusses his perspectives on what makes a good life, the importance of staying engaged in community service, and his enduring commitment to helping others despite personal obstacles.

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Once You Learn THIS, You Will Never Be the Same (Life Lessons From an 88 Year Old)

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Once You Learn THIS, You Will Never Be the Same (Life Lessons From an 88 Year Old)

1-Page Summary

Judge Caprio's Background, Values, and Guiding Principles

Judge Frank Caprio grew up in a family that, while financially limited, was rich in moral values. His father, a milkman, demonstrated extraordinary compassion by personally covering milk bills for struggling families. These early experiences shaped Caprio's future approach to law and justice. Following his father's encouragement and belief in education, Caprio pursued a career in law, maintaining a commitment to never charge poor clients for his services.

Judge Caprio's Approach and Lessons Learned

A pivotal moment in Caprio's career came when his father challenged his decision regarding a struggling mother's unpaid fines, teaching him to consider the human impact of his judicial decisions. This experience led Caprio to adopt a guiding principle of empathy in every case. In his courtroom, he prioritizes compassion over strict legalism, often involving children in the process and treating all defendants with dignity and respect.

Judge Caprio's Wise and Compassionate Legacy

Through his show "Caught in Providence," which has aired for over 25 years, Judge Caprio's unique approach to justice has reached a global audience. His viral videos have garnered over 10 billion views, and at 88 years old, he has become an internet phenomenon with millions of followers across social platforms. His bestselling book "Compassion in the Court" further shares his life lessons and emphasizes the importance of kindness and understanding.

Judge Caprio's Perspective on Life, Death, and Challenges

Despite facing a pancreatic cancer diagnosis, Judge Caprio maintains unwavering faith and optimism. He approaches his illness with determination, focusing on family and helping others. Caprio believes that a "good life" means being a good family member and friend while finding joy in serving others. He encourages retired individuals to stay engaged in their communities through volunteering and civic activities, embodying his belief that life's value lies in supporting and uplifting others.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • "Caught in Providence" is a television show where Judge Frank Caprio presides over real cases in Providence, Rhode Island. The show focuses on Judge Caprio's compassionate and empathetic approach to justice, often highlighting heartwarming or challenging situations faced by defendants. It has gained popularity for showcasing the human side of the legal system and emphasizing understanding over strict adherence to the law. The show's format allows viewers to witness Judge Caprio's unique courtroom style and the impact of his decisions on individuals appearing before him.
  • Judge Caprio's book "Compassion in the Court" delves into his life lessons and the significance of empathy in the legal system. It emphasizes the importance of kindness and understanding in judicial proceedings, showcasing Caprio's unique approach to justice. The book serves as a platform for Caprio to share his experiences and advocate for a compassionate and human-centered approach to law. "Compassion in the Court" aims to inspire readers to consider the impact of their actions on others and to prioritize empathy in their interactions.
  • Judge Caprio's perspective on life, death, and challenges reflects his unwavering faith and optimism, even in the face of a pancreatic cancer diagnosis. He focuses on family, helping others, and finding joy in serving. Caprio believes in the importance of being a good family member and friend while deriving fulfillment from supporting and uplifting others. He encourages staying engaged in community activities to enhance life's value.

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Once You Learn THIS, You Will Never Be the Same (Life Lessons From an 88 Year Old)

Judge Caprio's Background, Values, and Guiding Principles

Born into a family that was short on financial resources but rich in moral values, Judge Frank Caprio learned profound lessons about compassion and the importance of helping others from his parents.

Raised In a Family Valuing Compassion and Helping Others

Frank Caprio was raised to be tough and work hard due to limited resources. The values of empathy and assistance were ingrained in him by his father, a milkman who went beyond expectations to support his customers, sometimes even paying their bills out of his own pocket. One formative experience for Caprio was when his father explained their living conditions in a cold water flat, emphasizing the need to be resilient.

Learned From His Father's Example Of Supporting Customers By Covering Differences on Milk Bills or Contributing Personally

Judge Caprio's father didn't accept the company's policy of denying milk—the essential nutrition for a child—to families who couldn’t pay their bills. Instead, Caprio’s father would ensure children had milk and sometimes cover the costs himself. In doing so, he taught Caprio the importance of supporting those in need.

Pursued Law and Became an Attorney, Inspired by His Father's Belief

Despite his family's financial challenges, Caprio's father held education in high regard, often stressing that Caprio and his siblings must attend college. Following his father's encouragement and dedication to education, Caprio resisted job offers after high school to pursue higher education. His father's dream became his own.

Frank Caprio recalls when he was 12 years old and his father proclaimed he would become a lawyer because he was articulate. That statement, accompanied by a reassuring hand on the shoulder, charted the course for Caprio's future career.

Resolved to Never Charge Poor Clients, Honoring His Father's Admonition to "Not Charge People Like Us" and Make Up the Difference With Wealthy Clients

Judge Caprio was taught by his father not to charge the poor for his services as a lawyer but rather to earn from the wealthier clients. True ...

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Judge Caprio's Background, Values, and Guiding Principles

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Actionables

  • You can start a "Compassion Journal" to cultivate empathy by recording daily acts of kindness you witness or participate in, reflecting on how these actions make you feel and how they might have impacted others. This practice can help you become more aware of the needs around you and encourage you to act with empathy and assistance in your own life.
  • Consider volunteering at a legal aid clinic or community center to offer support to those who cannot afford services, which can be a direct way to apply the principle of not charging the poor for help. Even if you're not a legal professional, these organizations often need non-legal volunteers for various tasks, allowing you to contribute to a system of support for the underprivileged.
  • Create a "R ...

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Once You Learn THIS, You Will Never Be the Same (Life Lessons From an 88 Year Old)

Judge Caprio's Approach and Lessons Learned

Frank Caprio shares the compassionate philosophy he employs in his courtroom, highlighting the vital role of empathy and concern for the individuals and families who appear before him, especially when children are present.

New Judge's Lesson: Refusing to Remove Boot From Mother's Car Over Unpaid Fines

A pivotal moment in his career reshaped his approach to justice when Caprio refused to remove a boot from a mother's car over unpaid fines. Challenged by his father, who had observed the court proceedings, Caprio learned a critical lesson in empathy. His father pointed out that, despite Caprio's view that the woman was not respecting the court, she was a mother of four struggling to make ends meet. This encounter impressed upon Caprio the importance of considering the human impact of his judicial decisions.

Father's Scolding Taught Empathy and Consideration For the Human Impact of His Decisions

Caprio acknowledges that this early experience, coupled with his father's admonishment, taught him the profound importance of empathy in his role as a judge. He recognized the necessity of understanding the circumstances of the people who come before him and the ripple effect his decisions can have on their families.

"Adopted a Guiding Principle of Empathy In Every Case"

Moved by his upbringing and family values, Caprio adopted a guiding principle of empathy that has informed his every decision on the bench. He mentions several instances where he leaned heavily on compassion, allowing people the chance to change their lives for the better. Instead of strictly adhering to legalistic approaches, he endeavors to place himself in the shoes of the person before him and respond with the kindness and understanding he would hope for himself.

Prioritized Compassion Over Strict Legalism

Caprio remarks that he has always tried to use his position to contribute positively to society. He states, "I exercise them [compassion and understanding]. It's very simple. Just put yourself in the shoes of the person before you. How do you want them to treat you?"

Treated All With Dignity, Respect, and Belief in Success, Even When Scolding

By involving children ...

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Judge Caprio's Approach and Lessons Learned

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Counterarguments

  • While empathy is important, a judge must also maintain the rule of law and ensure that decisions are not overly subjective or inconsistent, which could undermine the legal system's fairness and predictability.
  • Prioritizing compassion over strict legalism might sometimes lead to unequal application of the law, where similar cases receive different outcomes based on the judge's personal feelings rather than legal principles.
  • Involving children in courtroom decisions, while educational and potentially empowering, could be seen as trivializing the legal process or placing undue pressure on the children.
  • There is a risk that emphasizing personal stories and circumstances in legal decisions could inadvertently create a perception of bias or favoritism, which could erode public trust in the impartiality of the judiciary.
  • The expectation of greatness conveyed to youth, while positive ...

Actionables

  • You can practice empathy by writing a daily "impact reflection" in a journal, where you consider the effects of your actions on others. For instance, after a conversation or decision, take a moment to write down how it might have affected the other person emotionally and practically, and how you might handle similar situations with greater empathy in the future.
  • Start a "dignity diary" where you note down instances where you treated someone with respect and dignity, especially in challenging situations. This could be as simple as acknowledging a retail worker's hard work during a busy day or offering words of encouragement to someone who seems to be struggling.
  • Create a "confide ...

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Once You Learn THIS, You Will Never Be the Same (Life Lessons From an 88 Year Old)

Judge Caprio's Wise and Compassionate Legacy

Judge Frank Caprio's approach in the courtroom has resonated with millions around the globe, garnering him admiration for his wisdom and compassion.

Became Beloved Through "Caught In Providence"

For over 25 years, Judge Caprio’s show "Caught in Providence," which began airing on public access television in Rhode Island and eventually went into syndication on 200 stations, has allowed the world to witness his unique blend of justice and empathy. Caprio himself expresses amazement at the impact his actions on the show have had worldwide.

Viral Videos of His Kindness to Defendants Touch Billions Worldwide

Caprio has been affectionately known as America's nicest judge, and his televised kindness has inspired billions. The judicial proceedings have been shared across the internet, with viral videos from the show reaching more than 10 billion views. Mel Robbins indicates that it is not just the television presence but also the clips circulating online that have captured hearts globally.

Developed an Online Following as an 88-year-Old Phenomenon

At the age of 88, Judge Caprio has leveraged his platform to spread decency, empathy, and uplift others, becoming an internet phenomenon. He boasts 2.9 million followers on Instagram, 1.4 million on TikTok, 2 million on Facebook, and over a hundred million views on YouTube. Judge Caprio is recognized for his ability to change lives by treating everyone he meets—as shown in his court—with the respect and care one would give a friend or family member.

Leveraged Platform to Spread Decency, Empathy, and Uplift Others

As a global symbol of what matters in an often challenged world, Judge Caprio has leveraged his platform not only to adjudicate but also to set an example of decency and compassion.

Bestselling Book "Compassion in the Court" Shares His Life Lessons

"Compassion in the Court" is anothe ...

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Judge Caprio's Wise and Compassionate Legacy

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Judge Caprio became an internet phenomenon at the age of 88 due to the widespread popularity of his TV show "Caught in Providence," where his compassionate and fair approach to justice resonated with viewers. His presence on social media platforms like Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and YouTube further amplified his reach, allowing him to connect with millions worldwide. By leveraging his platform to spread messages of decency, empathy, and kindness, Judge Caprio attracted a large online following and became a symbol of c ...

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Once You Learn THIS, You Will Never Be the Same (Life Lessons From an 88 Year Old)

Judge Caprio's Perspective on Life, Death, and Challenges

Frank Caprio, facing a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, shares his personal reflections and philosophies on life, mortality, and overcoming adversity.

Unwavering Faith and Spiritual Foundation Sustaining Life’s Difficulties

Faced Pancreatic Cancer Diagnosis With Prayer and Reflection

Upon receiving his pancreatic cancer diagnosis, Judge Caprio turns to his unwavering faith and spiritual foundation. He articulates that his first priority when confronting difficulties is his religion, and although he doesn't consider himself a "holy roller," his strong Catholic faith and belief in the power of prayer help him navigate challenging times. This deeply rooted spirituality leads him to scrutinize his life decisions and their influence on those around him. Caprio views prayer as a pivotal force that carries him through life's storms.

Fighting Cancer With Determination and Optimism

Despite the grave nature of his diagnosis, which he describes as a non-curable "death sentence," Caprio's resolve remains unshaken. He approaches his illness with a combination of determination and optimism, focusing on cherishing his family and finding purpose through helping others. Caprio believes that being a pillar of strength for his loved ones is vital, and he's dedicated to setting an exemplary standard of resilience. Fortunate to receive excellent care from renowned medical teams, he commits to living with cancer as best as he can for as long as possible, embodying a stout-hearted response to adversity.

Moreover, Caprio underscores the value of kindness and the significant impact of small acts of compassion toward others in need. He feels a sense of pleasure in offering assistance to people and perceives service to others as an integral component of a fulfilling life.

Believes a "Good Life" Is Being a Good Family Member, Friend, and Finding Joy In Serving Others

Caprio's ...

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Judge Caprio's Perspective on Life, Death, and Challenges

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While Judge Caprio finds strength in his faith, not everyone may find solace in religion or prayer, and some may turn to other forms of coping such as secular meditation or therapy.
  • The optimism and determination that Caprio exhibits in the face of a cancer diagnosis are admirable, but it's important to acknowledge that not everyone may be able to maintain such an attitude, and feelings of fear or despair can also be natural reactions.
  • The emphasis on being a pillar of strength for loved ones is noble, but it's also important to recognize the value of vulnerability and seeking support when needed.
  • Acts of kindness and compassion are indeed valuable, but it's also necessary to consider systemic changes that can address the root causes of the needs for such acts.
  • The idea that a good life is defined by service to others is a strong moral stance, but it's also valid to consider that individuals may find fulfillment in a variety of ways, including personal achievements and self-care.
  • While Caprio encourages older individuals to volunteer and stay active in their communities, it's important to acknowledge that some may face limitations due to health or other personal circumstances that prevent them from doin ...

Actionables

  • You can create a "Kindness Calendar" where each day is marked with a small, achievable act of compassion, such as writing a thank you note to a local firefighter or bringing in your neighbor's trash bins.
    • This strategy helps integrate daily acts of kindness into your routine. For example, on Monday, you might compliment a colleague on their work, and on Tuesday, you could donate unused clothes to a shelter.
  • Start a "Gratitude and Service Journal" to reflect on moments of kindness you've received and jot down ideas for helping others.
    • Keeping such a journal encourages mindfulness about the role of service and gratitude in your life. You might note how a stranger's smile lifted your spirits and plan to volunteer at a food bank over the weekend.
  • Engage in "Micro-Volunteering" online, which involves small tasks that benef ...

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