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6 Powerful Mindset Shifts That Will Change Your Life

By Stitcher

In this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, Mel and Sawyer Robbins explore the connection between fear and personal growth. Through their experiences with a live speaking tour, they examine how feeling afraid before new challenges often signals deep investment in the outcome, rather than a sign to retreat.

The discussion delves into practical approaches for pushing beyond comfort zones and managing fear in high-stakes situations. Drawing from their experiences at venues like Boston's Wang Theater, the Robbins share insights about transforming nervous energy into motivation, embracing bigger challenges than initially planned, and viewing fear as a natural component of personal development rather than an obstacle to overcome.

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6 Powerful Mindset Shifts That Will Change Your Life

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6 Powerful Mindset Shifts That Will Change Your Life

1-Page Summary

Overcoming Fear and Hesitation to Try New Experiences

In this episode, Mel and Sawyer Robbins explore the relationship between fear and personal growth, offering insights into how to transform self-doubt into motivation.

Understanding Fear's Role

Mel Robbins explains that feeling afraid before new experiences often indicates how much you care about the outcome. She illustrates this through her experience with her live tour, noting that nervousness typically surfaces when we're invested in success. Sawyer Robbins reinforces this idea, sharing how his intense fear of public speaking reflected his deep commitment to their tour and book.

Embracing the Unexpected and Going Bigger

Mel Robbins shares how her initial plan for a simple speaking tour evolved into an ambitious production combining elements of Broadway and rock concerts. Rather than limiting herself based on past experience, she chose to "go bigger," eventually pushing Sawyer to take on a larger role in the show. This expansion led to unexpected challenges, including a moment of panic at the Wang Theater in Boston, but Robbins found that pushing through these obstacles led to significant personal growth.

Mindset for Pushing Beyond Comfort Zone

Mel Robbins advocates for infusing challenging experiences with playfulness and enjoyment. She describes how approaching fear-inducing situations with excitement, similar to the thrill of a roller coaster, can transform the experience. Rather than trying to eliminate fear entirely, Robbins suggests embracing it as a natural part of growth. She emphasizes that feeling afraid shows investment in the outcome and that pushing through this discomfort is essential for personal development. Sawyer Robbins supports this perspective by sharing his own experience of managing performance anxiety during their tour.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • Fear as an indicator of care can be misleading; sometimes fear is a result of past traumas or anxieties that do not necessarily correlate with the importance of an outcome.
  • Intense fear of public speaking might sometimes indicate underlying issues such as social anxiety disorder that could require professional attention rather than simply being a sign of commitment.
  • Ambitious expansions of projects, like the one Mel Robbins undertook, can lead to overextension, burnout, or financial risk, which might not always result in personal growth or a successful outcome.
  • Infusing challenging experiences with playfulness and enjoyment might not be a feasible approach for everyone, especially for individuals who struggle with anxiety disorders or other mental health issues.
  • Embracing fear as a natural part of growth may not always be beneficial; in some cases, it might be more appropriate to address and mitigate fear through therapy or other coping mechanisms.
  • The idea that pushing through discomfort is essential for personal development can be problematic, as it may lead to ignoring one's limits and exacerbating stress or mental health issues.
  • The perspective of embracing fear and pushing beyond comfort zones does not account for the fact that some individuals may have valid reasons for their hesitations, such as physical limitations, safety concerns, or other personal circumstances.

Actionables

  • You can journal about your fears to pinpoint your passions by writing down what scares you and exploring why it matters so much to you. This can reveal the goals and outcomes you're most invested in and can serve as a guide to where you should focus your efforts for personal growth.
  • Turn a routine task into a mini-adventure by adding an element of play or competition, like timing yourself while doing household chores or creating a game out of a work project. This approach helps to reframe challenges as opportunities for fun, making them less daunting and more engaging.
  • Start a "Discomfort Dare" with friends where you challenge each other to step out of your comfort zones regularly, whether it's trying a new food, striking up a conversation with a stranger, or taking an improv class. Sharing these experiences can create a support system that encourages growth and makes facing fears a shared, communal experience.

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6 Powerful Mindset Shifts That Will Change Your Life

Overcoming Fear and Hesitation to Try New Experiences

Mel Robbins and Sawyer Robbins share their experiences and insights on why fear can be an indicator of how much an experience matters to you and how reframing self-doubt as motivation can lead to personal growth and increased self-confidence.

Fear Indicates the Experience Matters To You

According to Mel Robbins, feeling afraid before embarking on a new adventure, such as her own live tour, reveals a deep care for the outcome. The presence of nerves and fear is closely tied to one's concern about the result of that experience. Robbins underscores that fear typically surfaces when we are invested in the success of the endeavor, exemplifying the point with Kendall's contrasting reactions to performing in different contexts.

Sawyer Robbins amplifies this sentiment by sharing her own struggle with public speaking and how the intensity of her fear was a measure of her dedication to their tour and book. Both Robbins emphasize that consistently confronting fears through performance shows commitment and the ability to trust in oneself.

Reframe Self-Doubt As Motivation to Tackle the Challenge

Mel Robbins speaks to shifting from a mindset plagued by "I can't" to tackling challenges because you believe you can't. She stresses the importance of facing the activities you're hesitant about, as this leap outside your comfort zone propels personal development and honing of capabilities.

Sawyer Robbins, too, embraces the notion of saying yes to challenges, especially because of underlying self-doubt, thereby flipping the narrative from inability to opportunity. Mel Robbins suggests that doing the exact things you fear—such as applying for jobs, performing live, or moving to a new place—is not only a step towards trying them but also a stride towards becoming the person you aspire to be.

By counteracting the voice that whispers "you can't," and by choosing to engage in fear-inducing ...

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Overcoming Fear and Hesitation to Try New Experiences

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • Fear can sometimes be a signal of potential danger or a sign that one is not adequately prepared, rather than just an indicator of how much an experience matters.
  • Not all fear is tied to concern about the outcome; sometimes fear can be irrational or stem from past traumas unrelated to the current situation.
  • Confronting fears through performance might not always show commitment and self-trust; it could also lead to unnecessary stress or reinforce negative experiences if not approached with proper support.
  • Reframing self-doubt as motivation might not work for everyone; some individuals may require more structured support systems or professional help to tackle their challenges.
  • Facing activities you're hesitant about can lead to personal development, but it can also lead to burnout or negative experiences if not done within one's limits or without proper preparation.
  • Saying yes to challenges can be empowering, but it's also important to recognize when to say no and set healthy boundaries to avoid overcommitment and stress.
  • Doing things you fear is not always a step towards becoming the person you aspire to be; sometimes it's important to recognize that certain fears are valid and choose alternative paths.
  • Building confidence by proving your internal critic wrong assumes that the internal critic is always incorrect, which may not be the case; sometimes that voice ...

Actionables

  • Create a "Fear-facing Journal" to document and reflect on experiences that scare you. Start by writing down what you're afraid of and why it matters to you. After each experience, jot down what you learned and how it felt to prove your internal critic wrong. This practice can help you see patterns in your fears and your growth over time.
  • Develop a "Yes Challenge" for a week where you intentionally say yes to something you'd typically avoid daily. It could be as simple as speaking up in a meeting, trying a new food, or asking for help. The key is to choose actions that push your comfort zone slightly, allowing you to build confidence in small, manageable steps.
  • Partner with a frien ...

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6 Powerful Mindset Shifts That Will Change Your Life

Embracing the Unexpected and "Going Bigger" Than Planned

Mel Robbins expresses her journey from planning a simple speaking tour to embarking on a production that resembled a combination of Broadway and a rock concert, highlighting the transformative power of embracing ambitious visions and the growth that can come from unforeseen challenges.

Start With an Ambitious, Open-Ended Vision

Robbins shares that her desire to interact with people in real life led to the decision to go on tour. Initially, she planned to have a traditional setup with theaters and speeches, but she challenged herself to "do it bigger," leading to a vision that expanded well beyond her previous experience.

Don't Limit Yourself Based On Experiences or Constraints

Her story exemplifies how diving into new ventures without self-imposed constraints can lead to unexpected opportunities. Robbins encourages embracing a broader scope without considering past experiences as limitations. She motivates others with her aphorism, "Stop sitting around waiting to feel ready and just do it because you think you can't and then you're going to actually realize you've been ready the whole time."

Broaden the Scope and Scale

This idea of "going bigger" was not limited to Robbins as she, unintentionally, pushed Sawyer, who was initially going on stage for a short segment, to be a part of half of the entire show. Although Robbins admits she didn't fully comprehend what she had signed on for, this represents her recommendation to embrace a vision that pushes the boundaries.

Prepare to Encounter Unexpected Obstacles and Challenges

The realities of "going bigger" became apparent to Robbins when confronted with the scale of the production at the Wang Theater in Boston, which led to a panic realizing the complexities involved with a full-blown production, something much greater than the simple speaking engagements she was accustomed to.

Plans Often Fail, Especially With New Ventures

Despite Robbins’ experience with public speaking, hosting her own expansive event opened her eyes to the unanticipated complexities of production. "Doing it bigger" came with its own set of challenges, illustrating that new ventures can drastically diverge from their original plans.

Viewing Setbacks as Growth Opportunities

Robbins admits that the decision to expand the sca ...

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Embracing the Unexpected and "Going Bigger" Than Planned

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • Ambitious visions can sometimes lead to overextension and burnout if not managed with realistic expectations and self-care.
  • An open-ended vision may lack the necessary structure and focus, leading to inefficiency and wasted resources.
  • Past experiences and constraints can provide valuable lessons and frameworks for risk management and informed decision-making.
  • Broadening the scope and scale without a clear strategy can dilute the effectiveness of an initiative and lead to a loss of core objectives.
  • While preparing for unexpected obstacles is wise, it is also important to have contingency plans and not rely solely on improvisation.
  • Plans often fail, but consistent failure without learning or adapting can be a sign of poor planning or execution rather than a simple byproduct of trying something new.
  • Viewing setbacks solely as growth opportunities may sometimes overshadow the need for critical analysis and account ...

Actionables

  • You can create a 'Vision Expansion Journal' where each day you write down one way to enlarge your current goals. For instance, if your goal is to learn a new language, expand it by aiming to read a novel in that language or have a conversation with a native speaker. This practice encourages you to think beyond your initial goal and consider greater possibilities.
  • Develop a 'Setback Reflection Template' to systematically analyze and learn from each obstacle. This could be a simple document with prompts like "What was the unexpected challenge?", "How did I respond?", "What did I learn?", and "How can this expand my capabilities?". By filling this out whenever you face a setback, you turn each into a structured learning opportunity.
  • Initiate a 'Fear-Setting Exercise' once a month where you list out the fears holding you back f ...

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6 Powerful Mindset Shifts That Will Change Your Life

Mindset and Attitude For Pushing Beyond Comfort Zone

As Mel Robbins conveys through her experiences and guidance, having the right mindset and attitude is crucial for pushing beyond one's comfort zone. She introduces the concept of infusing activities with playfulness and embracing fear as a natural part of growth.

Infuse the Experience With Playfulness and Enjoyment

Robbins suggests that approaching fear-inducing situations with a sense of excitement can be transformative. She describes her own experience as similar to the thrill of a roller coaster, hinting at the exhilaration that can be found in challenging circumstances.

Stay Positive and Have Fun

Robbins recounts her journey, where despite paralyzing stress and fear, she discovered that her tour turned into one of the magical highlights of her life. She addresses the notion of enjoyment in the process, highlighting the importance of confronting fears as a source of fun and self-discovery. Her encouragement points to an underlying playfulness, where even in serious or scary situations, having fun serves as an antidote to fear and nerves.

She shares how aiming to have more fun during her show allowed her to loosen up and enjoy the experience, eventually changing her initial negative perceptions. Her focus on ensuring the audience, crew, and team also enjoyed themselves illustrates the infectious nature of a playful attitude.

Lightheartedness Can Help Navigate Stressful, Unfamiliar Situations

Robbins' emphasis on bringing fun into various scenarios, such as high-stress work environments, demonstrates her belief that lightheartedness can transform experiences. By infusing activities with a playful approach, individuals can reduce self-criticism, ease tension, and lean into the ride they are on. Robbins points out that humor and light reactions to mistakes can help defuse stressful situations and encourage a more positive outlook.

Embrace Fear and Nerves As Growth

Throughout Robbins' discussion, there’s a strong message that embracing fear is more constructive than trying to eliminate it.

Feeling Afraid Shows You Care About the Outcome

She interprets fear and nervousness as indicators of deep care and concern for the outcome of an endeavor. Whether it’s a tour or a dance class, Robbins conveys that pushing through fear and panic to follow through with a commitment is part of the growth process. In her view, experiencing fear, like having stage fright or performing in a new role, shows that what you're doing matters to you.

Embrace Fear Rather Than Eliminate It Entirely

Robbins acknowledges that fear ...

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Mindset and Attitude For Pushing Beyond Comfort Zone

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While playfulness can be beneficial, some situations require a more serious and focused approach, and not all individuals may find playfulness appropriate or helpful in high-stress scenarios.
  • The idea that excitement can transform fear may not apply to everyone; some individuals may need to address underlying anxieties or mental health issues before they can find excitement in fear-inducing situations.
  • The notion that having fun serves as an antidote to fear may oversimplify complex emotional responses and may not be a viable strategy for everyone, especially in situations where the stakes are high or the consequences of failure are significant.
  • Reducing self-criticism through lightheartedness might not address deeper issues of self-esteem or self-worth that could be the root cause of the criticism.
  • Embracing fear as a growth mechanism might not be suitable for all types of fear; some fears are rational and serve as important warnings for real dangers.
  • The advice to engage in activities that frighten you could potentially lead to reckless behavior if not balanced with a proper assessment of ...

Actionables

  • Turn your morning routine into a game to start the day with a playful mindset. Create a point system for each task you complete, like making your bed or preparing breakfast, and reward yourself with something small but enjoyable when you reach a certain score. This gamifies mundane tasks and can help you approach the day with a lighter heart, reducing the impact of stress and fear.
  • Use a "fear journal" to document and reflect on experiences that scare you. Write down what you're afraid of doing, then go out and do it, and afterward, jot down how it felt and what you learned. This practice can help you see patterns in your fears, recognize your growth, and understand that fear often precedes personal development.
  • Create a "comfort zone challenge" with friends where ...

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