Tiny Fixes for a Tired Life: 7 Habits That Make Your Life Better
In this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, Robbins and behavioral scientist Ethan Kross explore several everyday habits that can boost mood and energy levels. They discuss research showing how looking at photos of loved ones reduces stress, explain the cognitive benefits of dancing during daily tasks, and describe how experiencing moments of wonder in nature can shift perspective.
The episode also delves into practical ways to build stronger social connections. Robbins shares strategies for remembering names and maintaining relationships, while highlighting research from psychologist Dr. Shelley Gable about the impact of how we respond to others' successes. The discussion covers how brief social interactions can trigger beneficial hormonal responses and reduce stress levels.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Jun 14, 2025 episode of the The Mel Robbins Podcast
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Mood and Energy Boosting Habits
Mel Robbins and Ethan Kross explore everyday activities that can significantly enhance emotional well-being and energy levels.
The Power of Photos
Research from UCLA, shared by Robbins and Kross, shows that viewing photos of loved ones can activate internal support systems and reduce stress. Behavioral psychologist Joe Hemmings found that looking at old photos can inspire feelings of nostalgia and happiness, similar to the relaxation achieved from taking a bath. These simple acts of viewing personal photographs can serve as powerful emotional pick-me-ups during challenging times.
Dancing Through Daily Tasks
Robbins explains how incorporating dance into daily chores can transform mundane activities into enjoyable experiences. According to a study in the New England Journal of Medicine, dancing combines physical and mental activity, reducing dementia risk while enhancing cognitive functions. The combination of upbeat music and movement during routine tasks can boost mood, reduce stress, and contribute to brain health through increased serotonin levels.
Building Stronger Social Connections
Robbins emphasizes the importance of remembering names and maintaining social connections. She suggests creating a system to record details about new acquaintances and advocates for graciously re-asking forgotten names. Simple acts of support, whether through cards, texts, or brief visits, can significantly strengthen relationships. Robbins promotes the concept of being an "eight-minute friend," noting that even short social interactions can trigger [restricted term] release and reduce stress.
Maintaining a Positive, Supportive Mindset
According to psychologist Dr. Shelley Gable's research, how we respond to others' successes significantly impacts relationship satisfaction. Robbins advocates for celebrating others' victories as if they were our own, creating an environment where positivity flourishes. She also introduces the concept of "awe walks," explaining how experiencing moments of wonder in nature or architecture can reduce stress, improve mood, and help shift focus away from self-centered thoughts toward a broader perspective of life.
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Counterarguments
- Viewing photos of loved ones may not have the same stress-reducing effect for individuals with strained family relationships or traumatic memories associated with those individuals.
- Nostalgia induced by old photos can sometimes lead to feelings of sadness or loss, particularly if the photos remind one of a time or people they miss.
- Incorporating dance into daily chores might not be practical or enjoyable for everyone, especially those with physical limitations or those who do not find dancing to be a pleasurable activity.
- While dancing has been associated with reduced dementia risk, it is not a guaranteed preventive measure, and other factors such as genetics and overall health also play significant roles.
- The serotonin boost from dancing with upbeat music might not be sufficient for individuals with clinical depression or other mood disorders who may require more comprehensive treatment.
- The strategy of remembering names and maintaining social connections, while generally beneficial, may be challenging for individuals with social anxiety or memory impairments.
- Creating a system to record details about new acquaintances could be seen as impersonal or artificial to some, and may not always lead to genuine connection or remembrance.
- The concept of being an "eight-minute friend" might not be sufficient for deeper, more meaningful relationships that require more time and investment.
- Celebrating others' victories as if they were our own can be difficult for individuals struggling with jealousy or competitiveness.
- "Awe walks" may not be accessible or appealing to everyone, and some individuals may find stress relief and mood improvement through other means, such as urban environments or indoor activities.
Actionables
- You can create a digital photo frame slideshow that cycles through images of loved ones and happy memories to keep on your desk at work. This way, whenever you glance over, you're likely to catch a glimpse of a cherished moment, giving you a quick emotional boost and stress relief during your day.
- Turn your grocery shopping into a social game by challenging yourself to learn one new fact about the person behind the counter each visit. Keep a small notebook or use a note-taking app on your phone to jot down these details, which will help you remember names and personal stories, strengthening your community bonds and enhancing your social network.
- Schedule a weekly "Awe Walk" in a new part of town or a nearby natural reserve you haven't explored, and invite a friend or family member to join you. This shared experience not only provides the benefits of awe but also gives you a chance to be an "eight-minute friend," deepening your connection with others through shared discovery and conversation.
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Mood and Energy Boosting Habits
Discovering simple everyday activities can help enhance your mood and energy levels. Mel Robbins and Ethan Kross investigate strategies that can have a significant impact on emotional well-being.
Photos and Memories Lift Your Spirits and Remind You Of Support
Robbins and Kross discuss the emotional benefits of connecting with past experiences and loved ones through photographs.
Photos of Loved Ones Reduce Stress and Boost Positive Emotions By Activating Social Support
Mel Robbins notes that viewing photographs of loved ones can stimulate feelings of social support, resulting in reduced stress. Research from UCLA supports this, demonstrating that looking at such photos can activate internal support systems to help alleviate stress. Ethan Kross reinforces this point by mentioning a study that observed quicker recovery from distress when individuals viewed photos of people they cared about, activating a sense of backing.
Old Photos Induce Nostalgia, Happiness, Inspiration, and Reduce Stress
Robbins discusses a study by behavioral psychologist Joe Hemmings in the UK, which discovered that looking at old photos can inspire feelings of nostalgia, happiness, and inspiration, similar to the relaxation achieved from taking a bath. These memories can lower stress hormones and boost endorphin levels.
Personal Photos Boost Emotions When Tired or Overwhelmed
Robbins also suggests that on tough days, rather than adding more tasks, looking through personal photographs to remember good times can be a powerful pick-me-up. It's a reminder that life is not just about the present challenges but also filled with wonderful memories and joyful moments.
Dance While Doing Chores to Boost Mood and Energy
Robbins shares insights into how incorporating dance into daily chores can vastly improve mood and mental acuity.
Upbeat Music and Dance During Chores Engage Brain, Body, and Emotions
Turning on upbeat music, like disco or Motown, can instantly improve your mood, according to Robbins. This type of music influences the nervous system in a positive way and can lift spirits, as she notes that people often start to dance when such tunes fill the kitchen.
Dancing Reduces Dementia Risk ...
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Counterarguments
- While viewing photographs of loved ones can reduce stress for many, some individuals may experience sadness or increased stress if the photos remind them of loss or estrangement.
- Nostalgia induced by old photos can be positive, but it can also lead to a sense of longing or dissatisfaction with the present, which might not be beneficial for everyone's emotional well-being.
- Personal photos can boost emotions, but relying on past memories to improve mood might prevent some individuals from addressing current issues that are causing stress or overwhelm.
- Dancing while doing chores can be uplifting, but not everyone may find this enjoyable or practical, especially if they have physical limitations or do not enjoy dancing.
- While dancing has been associated with reduced ...
Actionables
- Create a digital photo frame slideshow that cycles through images of loved ones and happy memories to glance at throughout the day. By setting up a digital photo frame on your desk or in a common area of your home, you'll have a constant stream of personal photos that can serve as a quick emotional boost whenever you catch a glimpse.
- Integrate dance breaks into your daily routine by setting alarms at random times as a cue to dance for a few minutes. This can be as simple as dancing to one song every few hours, which not only breaks up the monotony of the day but also provides the cognitive and physical benefits mentioned, turning a regular day into a more dynamic and enjoyable experience.
- Transform your mobile phone's lock ...
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Building Stronger Social Connections
The importance of nurturing and maintaining personal connections in our lives is underscored by Robbins, who provides practical steps on how to strengthen these vital social bonds.
Effort to Remember Names Builds Trust and Rapport
Making an effort to remember and use people's names can have a profound impact on how they feel and perceive us. Robbins underscores that using someone's first name sends the message that they are valued, activates parts of their brain related to identity, and strengthens trust and rapport.
Valuing Others With Their Name
Robbins emphasizes the biological and emotional impact of hearing one's own name. It makes individuals feel important and remembered, resonating with warmth, competence, and intentionality.
System to Quickly Record New Acquaintances' Details Enhances Name Memory
Robbins advocates for a system to remember names by creating a contact in your phone and adding notes about the new acquaintance right after meeting them. She describes how she uses a notes app to jot down characteristics like "Harrison, big smile, bald, handsome dude, my age, gives the best hugs" to aid memory.
Re-asking For a Forgotten Name Shows Graciousness and Interest
It's okay to ask for someone's name again, Robbins assures. This action illustrates graciousness and a genuine interest in making connections. She suggests a humble approach when re-asking for names, such as saying, "I am so embarrassed to ask you this, but I am working on remembering people's names, what was your name again?"
Supporting Loved Ones Strengthens Bonds and Well-Being
Robbins delves into various ways people can show support for their loved ones during significant events, emphasizing that simple acts can deeply reinforce social bonds and enhance the well-being of both parties involved.
Support Through Cards, Texts, or Visits During Life Events Reinforces Connection
Whether standing in a driveway with coffee after a hard day or changing a baby's diaper, showing up during life's pivotal moments or making small gestures like sending a supportive text is crucial in fostering connections.
Response To Others' Good News Predicts Relationship Satisfaction More Than Handling Bad News
By showing up for people in simple ways, Robbins illustrates that heartfelt actions during other people's important events can significantly uplift everyone involved. For example, Robbins explores the impact of a handwritten condolence note on a family, demonstrating how such gestures can leave a lasting impression and boost the spirits.
Gestures Uplift Both the Giver's and Receiver's Spirits
Robbins asserts that the act of offering support not only benefits the recipient but also provides the giver with love and positive emotions. She shares experiences o ...
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Building Stronger Social Connections
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Counterarguments
- While remembering names can build rapport, it's not the only or most significant factor in trust-building; other behaviors like consistency, transparency, and empathy are also crucial.
- Some individuals may not place as much importance on their name being remembered or used, and may instead value other forms of recognition or interaction.
- Systems to remember names can be helpful, but they may also come across as impersonal or mechanical if relied upon too heavily, rather than organic memory and connection.
- Asking for a name again can be seen as inattentive or disrespectful by some, despite intentions of graciousness.
- Supporting loved ones is important, but the form of support should be tailored to the individual's preferences; not everyone may appreciate the same gestures.
- The emphasis on responding to good news might overlook the importance of being there for someone during bad times, which can also significantly strengthen bonds.
- Acts of support can uplift spirits, but they can also create a sense of obligation or indebtedness in some relationships, which might not always be positive.
- The concept of an "eight-minute friend" might not be sufficient for deeper or more emotionally demanding rela ...
Actionables
- Create a personalized name association journal to enhance your memory of names. Start by jotting down new names you come across along with a distinctive feature or fact about the person. This could be their job, a hobby, or something you talked about. Review this journal weekly to reinforce your memory and make recalling names in conversation more natural.
- Develop a habit of sending "thinking of you" messages during random times. Use your phone's reminder app to set a bi-weekly prompt to reach out to someone you care about with a simple text, voice message, or meme that relates to an inside joke or shared interest. This spontaneous connection can make people feel valued and strengthen your bond.
- Integrate "[restricted term] ...
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Maintaining a Positive, Supportive Mindset
Building a positive and supportive outlook not only enhances personal well-being but also strengthens relationships with others. Practices like celebrating others' successes and taking awe walks are crucial steps in developing this mindset.
Celebrating Others' Successes Fosters Stronger Relationships and Growth
When others share their good news with us, it offers an opportunity to reinforce trust and promote closeness through our enthusiastic responses, a concept known as capitalization in psychology.
Building Trust and Closeness By Responding Enthusiastically To Others' Good News
Sharing significant achievements is usually reserved for those trusted to be genuinely supportive. Failure to exhibit joy for a friend's wins may inadvertently transmit a message of jealousy or competition. Conversely, showing up and conveying acknowledgement, whether through a handwritten note or a simple text, establishes trust, as it makes one feel valued.
Reactions to Others' Wins Impact Relationship Satisfaction More Than Handling Struggles
Relationship satisfaction is notably impacted by how individuals react to each other's wins. Not responding or showing lukewarm interest in someone's good news can be perceived as disapproval, harming the relationship. In contrast, celebrating others' successes enthusiastically can leave both parties feeling supported and proud, making it more crucial than how struggles are shared. Mel Robbins cites a study by psychologist Dr. Shelley Gable which found that responses to good news significantly predict relationship satisfaction.
Shift Your Mindset to Celebrate Others' Successes as Shared Joy to Welcome Your Own
Mel Robbins advocates for celebrating others' victories as if they were your own to cultivate a mindset that delights in shared successes. Embracing others' happiness leads to a space where positivity flourishes, fostering an environment that welcomes success for everyone.
Taking "Awe Walks" Reduces Stress and Increases Focus
Implementing the practice of "awe walks" can greatly diminish stress levels and enhance mental clarity.
Experiencing Awe In Nature and Architecture Boosts Mental Health
Interactions with natural elements during awe walks, Robbins explains, result in measurable shifts in the brain, including reduced stress and an improved mood. These experiences of grandeur diminish self-centered thoughts and foster a refreshed sense of connection with the world.
Awe Connects You To Something Larger, Interrupting Self-Foc ...
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Clarifications
- Capitalization in psychology is the act of responding enthusiastically and positively to others' good news or successes. It involves actively engaging with and celebrating the achievements of others to strengthen relationships and promote a sense of closeness and trust. This concept highlights the importance of showing genuine joy and support when someone shares positive news with you, as it can significantly impact relationship satisfaction and overall well-being. By capitalizing on others' successes, individuals can foster a more positive and supportive mindset in their interactions with others.
- Mel Robbins is an American author, podcast host, and former lawyer known for her TEDx talk and self-help books like "The 5 Second Rule." She gained popularity for her technique called "the five second rule," which focuses on taking action and building confidence. Robbins has authored several books aimed at personal development and empowerment, emphasizing strategies to overcome self-doubt and improve one's life. She also hosts The Mel Robbins Podcast, where she discusses various topics related to personal growth and motivation.
- Autopilot in the context of mental focus typically refers to a state where one operates without full awareness or conscious thought, relying on ingrained habits or routines. It implies a lack of active engagement with the present moment, often leading to a sense of detachment or disconnection from one's surroundings. Engaging in autopilot can hinder mindfulness and limit the ability to fully experience and appreciate the present environment. Breaking away from autopilot involves consciously redirecting attention to the current experience, fostering a more mindful and engaged state of being.
- Experiencing awe, such as through nature or architecture, can lead to reduced stress levels and improved mood by triggering measurable shifts in the brain. Awe helps individuals move away from self-centered thoughts, fostering a sense of connection with the world and promoting mental clarity. Engaging with elements that evoke awe interrupts self-focused thought patte ...
Counterarguments
- While celebrating others' successes can foster stronger relationships, it may not always lead to personal growth if it triggers feelings of inadequacy or comparison in some individuals.
- Enthusiastic responses to good news are generally positive, but they must be genuine; feigned enthusiasm can be detected and may damage trust.
- The impact of reactions to others' wins on relationship satisfaction might vary depending on cultural norms and individual personality differences; some cultures or individuals may value privacy and modesty over public celebration.
- The idea that celebrating others' successes is more crucial than sharing struggles could be debated, as mutual support during difficult times can also be a strong bond in relationships.
- The concept of shared joy might not resonate with everyone, especially those who are struggling with personal issues or mental health conditions that make it difficult to feel joy for others.
- "Awe walks" and experiencing nature may not be accessible or appealing to everyone, and alternative stress-reduction techniques may be more suitable for some individuals.
- The benefits of experiencing awe might be overstated fo ...
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