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If You Feel Overwhelmed & Uncertain About Money, Listen to This

By Stitcher

In this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, Mel Robbins and Lewis Howes explore financial well-being through the lens of their personal experiences. Both share their stories of financial hardship—including Robbins' $800,000 debt and Howes' period of housing insecurity—to illustrate how common money struggles are, with one-third of working adults living paycheck to paycheck.

The discussion examines how childhood experiences shape our relationship with money and presents practical approaches to improving financial health. Robbins and Howes outline strategies for developing a healthy money mindset, including expressing gratitude for financial obligations, setting clear financial goals with deadlines, and building beneficial habits. They also address the value of continuous financial education and maintaining social connections that support financial growth.

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If You Feel Overwhelmed & Uncertain About Money, Listen to This

This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the May 12, 2025 episode of the The Mel Robbins Podcast

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If You Feel Overwhelmed & Uncertain About Money, Listen to This

1-Page Summary

Overcoming Past Struggles With Money and Debt

In a revealing discussion, Mel Robbins and Lewis Howes share their personal experiences with financial hardship. Robbins opens up about being $800,000 in debt at age 41, while Howes describes his journey from sleeping on his sister's couch to achieving financial freedom. Their stories highlight that financial struggles are common, with one in three working adults living paycheck to paycheck.

Understanding Your "Story" for a Healthy Money Mindset

Howes discusses the concept of "money wounds" - childhood experiences that shape our relationship with money. He shares personal stories of stealing and paying for friendship, which led to feelings of shame and unworthiness. Both hosts emphasize the importance of shifting from negative money attitudes to gratitude. Robbins suggests expressing appreciation even for bill payments, while Howes advocates for viewing financial obligations as opportunities for thankfulness rather than burdens.

Creating a "Money Mission" for Financial Goals

The hosts emphasize the importance of developing a purposeful approach to money. Howes explains how his desire to interview and share knowledge led him to podcasting, demonstrating the value of aligning financial goals with personal values. They recommend setting short-term money missions, such as debt reduction or financial education, with clear deadlines and actionable steps. Howes shares his early goal of earning $5,000 from a single speech, which he achieved through dedicated practice and free workshops.

Practical Strategies and Habits For Achieving Financial Success

Both hosts provide actionable advice for financial improvement. Howes emphasizes developing a habit of gratitude around money and suggests being selective about social connections that might hinder financial growth. They stress the importance of continuous learning through podcasts, books, and financial advisors. Robbins encourages taking proactive steps like networking and communicating with creditors, while Howes highlights the value of learning from successful individuals and following their guidance.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Aligning financial goals with personal values means setting objectives for your money that are in harmony with what matters most to you in life. It involves ensuring that how you earn, spend, and save money reflects your core beliefs and priorities. By aligning financial goals with personal values, you create a sense of purpose and fulfillment in your financial decisions. This alignment can lead to a more meaningful and satisfying relationship with money.
  • Developing a habit of gratitude around money involves appreciating and acknowledging the financial resources and opportunities you have, no matter how big or small. It's about shifting your focus from what you lack to what you have, fostering a positive mindset towards money. This practice can help cultivate a sense of abundance and contentment, leading to better financial decision-making and overall well-being. By expressing gratitude for your financial situation, you can attract more positivity and abundance into your life.
  • Being selective about social connections for financial growth means choosing to surround yourself with people who have a positive influence on your financial goals. It involves avoiding relationships that may encourage overspending or hinder your financial progress. By surrounding yourself with individuals who are financially responsible and supportive, you are more likely to adopt similar habits and mindsets that can contribute to your own financial success. This practice can help create a conducive environment for achieving your financial objectives.

Counterarguments

  • While expressing gratitude for bills can be a positive mindset shift, it may not address the systemic issues and financial literacy gaps that contribute to debt.
  • The concept of "money wounds" is not universally accepted in psychology, and some may argue that financial behaviors are more complex and influenced by a wider range of factors.
  • The idea of aligning financial goals with personal values is sound, but it may not be feasible for individuals struggling with basic needs, where survival takes precedence over alignment with values.
  • Setting short-term financial goals is helpful, but without addressing long-term financial planning and stability, these may not lead to sustained financial health.
  • The advice to be selective about social connections could be interpreted as promoting a transactional view of relationships, which may not align with values of community and support.
  • Continuous learning is important, but not all sources of financial advice are equally reliable or applicable to every individual's circumstances.
  • Networking and communicating with creditors are proactive steps, but they may not be sufficient for those facing systemic barriers to financial success.
  • The suggestion to learn from successful individuals assumes that their strategies are universally applicable, which may not account for different starting points, resources, and opportunities.
  • The stories of overcoming financial struggles may not be representative of everyone's experiences, and some may find it difficult to relate or feel that such narratives oversimplify the complexities of financial hardship.

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If You Feel Overwhelmed & Uncertain About Money, Listen to This

Overcoming Past Struggles With Money and Debt

Mel Robbins and Lewis Howes openly discuss their past monetary struggles, offering personal insights into overcoming debt and creating a brighter financial future.

Many Face Similar Financial Challenges

Mel Robbins and Lewis Howes Share Debt Struggles, Helping Listeners Feel Less Alone

Mel Robbins talks candidly about being $800,000 in debt at 41, a situation that felt inescapable. She adds one in three working adults lives paycheck to paycheck, a state of affairs that's all too common. Similarly, Lewis Howes shares his journey from sleeping on his sister's couch to financial freedom, highlighting the universal struggle with managing finances.

Improve Your Finances, Even Slowly

Mel Robbins Stresses Opening Bills, Calling Creditors, and Reviewing Spending to Reduce Debt

Robbins describes her methodical journey out of debt over 15 years, emphasizing the importance of confronting financial problems. Her advice begins with simply opening bills, calling credit card companies, and scrutinizing bank statements for unnecessary expenditures. Robbins underscores the power of difficult family discussions about money and the need to reassess and eliminate non-essential costs.

Lewis Howes echoes Robbins' sentiment by taking contr ...

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Overcoming Past Struggles With Money and Debt

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Counterarguments

  • While Robbins and Howes' stories are inspiring, not everyone may have the same opportunities or abilities to follow their paths, such as writing a book or mastering public speaking.
  • The advice to open bills and call creditors, while sound, may not be sufficient for individuals with more complex financial situations or those facing systemic financial barriers.
  • The narrative that overcoming financial adversity is solely a matter of consistent effort and small steps may overlook the role of external factors such as economic downturns, healthcare emergencies, or lack of access to quality financial education.
  • The emphasis on personal responsibility in managing finances doesn't address the broader societal issues that contribute to financial instability, such as wage stagnation, job insecurity, and the high cost of living.
  • The suggestion to eliminate non-essential costs assumes that individuals have non-essential costs to cut, which may not be the case for those already living frugally due to low income.
  • The stories of Robbins and Howes may inadvertently create pressure or guilt for those who are struggling financially and are unable to turn their situations around as successfully or quickly.
  • The one in three sta ...

Actionables

  • You can create a visual debt payoff tracker to make your financial goals more tangible and engaging. Draw a large thermometer on a poster board and fill it in as you pay off debt, or use a spreadsheet with conditional formatting that changes color as you make progress. This visual representation can provide motivation and a clear sense of achievement as you work towards financial freedom.
  • Develop a habit of weekly financial "mini-audits" to stay on top of your spending and saving. Set aside a specific time each week to review your transactions, categorize your spending, and adjust your budget as needed. Use a simple app or a dedicated notebook to track these audits, which can help you identify patterns and make informed decisions about where to cut back.
  • Engage in a monthly "skill swap" with frien ...

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If You Feel Overwhelmed & Uncertain About Money, Listen to This

Understanding Your "Story" for a Healthy Money Mindset

Lewis Howes and Mel Robbins delve into the intricacies of one's relationship with money, discussing the significance of "money wounds" and the need for a positive money mindset.

Reflect On Money Experiences and Memories to Identify "Money Wounds" or Negative Associations

Howes shares intimate details about his own experiences with money-related stress and inadequacy from a young age. He talks about his past, revealing incidents where he stole money and candy bars, later feeling a deep sense of shame when caught. Howes also recalls a time when he was desperately trying to make friends, going as far as paying children to be part of their group, which later resulted in feelings of insincerity and worthlessness.

These events left a significant mark on Howes, shaping his attitude toward money into one intertwined with feelings of being dumb and unworthy. Howes suggests that young people often struggle with chaos in their emotions and lack purpose because of their misunderstanding of money and its management. He underscores the importance of recognizing these "money wounds"—painful past experiences with money that continue to impact current financial behaviors and attitudes.

Reframe Your Money Mindset With Positive Beliefs and Habits

Gratitude For Money: Shifting Bill Payments From Stress To Appreciation

Lewis Howes discusses the necessity of shifting the mindset from stress and resentment when dealing with money matters to one of gratitude and appreciation. He highlights the importance of having a thankful attitude for money that comes in, as well as for the ability to pay bills and taxes. Robbins adds that expressing gratitude for paying off debts, like student loans, can help acknowledge the education received and the fact that you are capable of making the payments.

Howes also advocates for instilling gratitude in everyday payments, such as phone bills, by appreciating the services afforded, like staying in touch with loved ones. He believes that by changing how one relates to spending money—seeing it as an opportunity for thankfulness rather than a burden—one can foster a healthier and more positive relationship with finance.

Seeking Resour ...

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Understanding Your "Story" for a Healthy Money Mindset

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Counterarguments

  • Reflecting on negative past experiences with money, while potentially healing, may not be sufficient for everyone to overcome deep-seated financial issues, and some individuals may require professional therapy or counseling.
  • The concept of expressing gratitude for the ability to pay bills might not resonate with individuals who are struggling financially and for whom paying bills is a source of significant stress and hardship.
  • The advice to shift one's mindset from stress to gratitude when dealing with money matters may oversimplify the complex emotional and psychological relationship some people have with money.
  • While seeking mentors and resources is valuable, not everyone may have equal access to quality financial education or mentors, which can perpetuate financial inequality.
  • The idea of crafting a new, empowering narrative around money may not acknowledge systemic issues that can impede financial success, such as socioeconomic barriers, discrimination, or lack of opportunity.
  • The emphasis on individual mindset shifts may inadvertently downplay the importance of structural changes needed to address broader financial inequities in society.
  • The suggestion to develop a mindset of curiosity and eagerness to learn about money might not take into account th ...

Actionables

  • Create a "Money Moments" journal to track daily financial interactions and the emotions they evoke. By writing down how you feel when you make a purchase, pay a bill, or check your bank balance, you can start to see patterns in your emotional responses to money. For example, if you notice anxiety every time you spend on necessities, you might explore ways to reframe these transactions as investments in your well-being.
  • Design a "Gratitude Trigger" for your wallet or banking app to prompt a moment of thankfulness with each transaction. You could place a small sticker or set a phone wallpaper with a gratitude symbol that catches your eye when you're about to spend or receive money. This visual cue can remind you to pause and feel grateful for the ability to conduct the transaction, shifting your focus from stress to appreciation.
  • Engage in a "Skill Swap" with friends to ...

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If You Feel Overwhelmed & Uncertain About Money, Listen to This

Creating a "Money Mission" for Financial Goals

Lewis Howes and Mel Robbins discuss the importance of having a "meaningful money mission" that aligns with personal values and offers a sense of purpose in both personal and professional life.

Clarify how Using Money Aligns With Your Values and Vision For Improving Your Life and Others' Lives

Purpose For Earning Money

Howes had a heart's desire to interview smart people and share that information with others, which fueled his decision to enter podcasting. He expressed that podcasting "would fuel [his] heart's desire," signifying a money mission aligned with his personal values and vision to help both himself and others. He stresses planning how money can serve oneself, family, and eventually be used to help others.

Mel Robbins agrees and emphasizes the need for a powerful reason tied to values, rather than just desiring to acquire and spend money as seen on social media. Howes discusses the importance of having a "meaningful money mission" beyond merely making money, as it adds a sense of purpose and reduces stress.

Break Money Mission Into Short-Term Goals and Habits

Lewis Howes and Mel Robbins propose setting a short-term money mission, like taking a job to get out of debt, for the next three months.

3-Month Money Mission: Pay Off Debt or Learn Finance

Howes defines his early money mission to get out of college debt, get off his sister's couch, and be able to pay for his own rent. He then applied a clear focus to impact and inspire others. Mel Robbins implies that following simple steps and habits can result in a positive financial change within three months, such as learning more about mo ...

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Creating a "Money Mission" for Financial Goals

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While having a "meaningful money mission" is beneficial, it may not be practical for everyone, especially those in immediate financial need or crisis, where the priority is survival rather than alignment with personal values.
  • The concept of a money mission might be a privilege that not everyone can afford, as some individuals may have to take any available job to meet basic needs.
  • The idea of setting short-term goals like paying off debt in three months can be overly simplistic and may not account for the complexities of individual financial situations, such as high levels of debt or low income.
  • The emphasis on aligning every financial opportunity with personal values could potentially limit one's ability to diversify income streams or take advantage of profitable opportunities that don't perfectly align with one's mission.
  • The advice to avoid money from certain industries may not consider the context in which those industries operate legally and provide employment to many people.
  • The notion of setting a specific financial goal, such as earning $5,000 from a single speech, may not be attainable ...

Actionables

  • Create a vision board that visually represents your financial goals and values to keep you focused on your meaningful money mission. Use magazine cutouts, drawings, or printed images that symbolize what you want to achieve and why, such as a picture of a graduation cap to represent paying off student loans or a family photo to symbolize providing for loved ones. Place this board somewhere you'll see it daily to reinforce your commitment to your financial objectives.
  • Start a "values-based budgeting" group with friends or family where you meet monthly to discuss and support each other's financial goals that align with personal values. Each member can share their progress, challenges, and strategies for making financial decisions that reflect their meaningful money mission. This creates a community of accountability and encouragement, helping you stay on track with your financial intentions.
  • Implement a "mission filter" for your spending and earning by creating a simple checklist of valu ...

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If You Feel Overwhelmed & Uncertain About Money, Listen to This

Practical Strategies and Habits For Achieving Financial Success

Financial success doesn't come overnight—it's a blend of small, consistent steps, shifts in mindset, and the company you keep. Both Mel Robbins and Lewis Howes share insights on building a positive relationship with money, seeking supportive relationships, and constantly expanding financial knowledge.

Build Consistent Habits to Improve Your Money Relationship

Thanking Money Fosters a Positive, Abundant Mindset

Lewis Howes discusses the importance of developing a habit of thanking money as it comes and goes, which can foster a generous spirit and a grateful heart. He believes that by cultivating an emotional appreciation for the things money allows us to do, we can start feeling emotionally safe around money, hence improving our relationship with finances. He suggests this shift in energy can change one's financial situation from stress to peace. Habitual positive affirmations related to money can contribute to fostering a positive view and gaining more control over one’s financial circumstances.

Seek Support; Cut Ties With Those Undermining Your Goals

Lewis Howes talks about the sometimes painful process of changing financial habits, which can lead to losing friends who do not support or understand your goals. He underscores that making sacrifices and ignoring what others think of these changes is necessary for growth. Mel Robbins also advises to be aware of the content consumed on social media, indicating that it influences your relationship with money. Therefore, one should engage with content that improves one's financial knowledge, rather than content that encourages unnecessary spending.

Expand Your Financial Knowledge By Learning Continuously and Seeking Expert Guidance

Improving Finances: Insights From Podcasts, Books, and Advisors

Robbins and Howes stress the importance of seeking out mentors and educational resources, including podcasts like The School of Greatness, which features financial experts and successful individuals sharing advice. Lewis Howes, through his own experiences, illustrates the power of incremental wealth-building over time, highlighting the importance of seeking advice from ...

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Practical Strategies and Habits For Achieving Financial Success

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • Thanking money might not directly influence financial success; practical financial planning and management are also essential.
  • Emotional appreciation for money could lead to complacency if not balanced with active financial strategizing and goal setting.
  • Positive affirmations can be beneficial, but without concrete actions and financial literacy, they may not lead to significant changes in one's financial situation.
  • While changing financial habits might require distancing from unsupportive friends, it's also important to maintain a support system and not isolate oneself.
  • Sacrifices are important, but they should be sustainable and balanced to avoid burnout or a negative impact on one's quality of life.
  • Social media can indeed influence financial habits, but it also provides opportunities for learning and connecting with like-minded individuals who can support financial goals.
  • While seeking mentors and educational resources is valuable, one must critically evaluate the advice given, as not all advice may be applicable or beneficial to every individual's unique financial situation.
  • Listening to podcasts and reading books can be informative, but practical experience and personalized advice from professionals may be more impactful for some individuals.
  • Incremental wealth-building is a sound approach, but it may not be suitable for everyone, and some may find success with more aggressive or alternative investment strategies.
  • Learning from w ...

Actionables

  • Create a "gratitude jar" where you write down one reason you're thankful for money each day and drop it in the jar. This tangible practice helps reinforce a positive money mindset by making your appreciation visual and consistent. For example, you might write, "I'm grateful money allowed me to buy a comforting meal today," fostering a daily habit of recognizing the value money brings to your life.
  • Start a "finance-free" social media day once a week where you unfollow or mute accounts that trigger negative financial feelings or impulses. This helps reduce the influence of social media on your spending habits. Instead, spend that day engaging in a free or low-cost activity that brings you joy, like a nature walk or a home-cooked meal with friends, reinforcing the idea that not all pleasures have to cost money.
  • Organize a monthly "money circle" with friends or community members where you discuss financial goals ...

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