Podcasts > The Mel Robbins Podcast > The Most Important Career Advice You’ll Ever Hear With Harvard Business School’s #1 Professor

The Most Important Career Advice You’ll Ever Hear With Harvard Business School’s #1 Professor

By Stitcher

On The Mel Robbins Podcast, Robbins welcomes Harvard Business School professor Alison Wood Brooks for a discussion around communication and relationship skills that are pivotal for career growth. Brooks shares insights from her research, emphasizing the importance of being an effective communicator and collaborator to excel as a leader and negotiator.

The episode explores practical strategies for making one's contributions known, demonstrating value to employers, and networking effectively. Brooks also offers tips for managing anxiety and nerves during important career moments by reframing one's mindset. Overall, the discussion provides actionable advice for leveraging interpersonal skills to unlock deserved advancement opportunities.

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The Most Important Career Advice You’ll Ever Hear With Harvard Business School’s #1 Professor

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The Most Important Career Advice You’ll Ever Hear With Harvard Business School’s #1 Professor

1-Page Summary

Communication & Relationship Skills For Career Growth

Mel Robbins emphasizes the importance of communication and relationship-building skills, backed by Harvard professor Alison Wood Brooks' research, to enhance one's career and get deserved advancement opportunities.

Effective Communicators Excel as Leaders and Negotiators

Brooks suggests great leaders are conversationalists who fulfill coworkers' needs. She highlights relationship skills over technical expertise for career success. During negotiations, Brooks advises a collaborative "we" mindset, aligning with the employer's priorities to achieve shared goals rather than centering personal entitlements.

Making Your Work Contributions Known and Demonstrating Value

Brooks and Robbins recommend recording accomplishments, sharing successes, and quantifying the impact made on the organization to ensure recognition. They suggest offering solutions benefiting both employee and employer during promotion or raise requests, framing discussions around mutual benefits and shared goals.

Effective Networking and Informational Interviewing Techniques

Brooks emphasizes networking through curiosity about others' work and needs, not self-promotion. For informational interviews, she suggests approaching with genuine interest, not an agenda, and offering useful insights to benefit contacts.

Managing Anxiety and Nerves Through a Mindset Shift

Brooks advocates reframing anxiety as excitement—a sign of caring about an important event. Her research shows viewing nerves positively improves performance and composure. She advises focusing on goals and visualizing success to harness nervous energy productively.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While communication and relationship-building skills are important, technical expertise should not be undervalued, as it is often the foundation of one's ability to contribute meaningfully to an organization.
  • Some leaders may excel due to their strategic vision or ability to innovate, rather than primarily through their conversational skills.
  • A collaborative mindset is beneficial, but there may be situations where assertiveness and advocating for personal entitlements are necessary to ensure fair treatment.
  • Recording accomplishments is useful, but overemphasis on self-promotion could potentially alienate colleagues or come across as lacking humility.
  • Networking with curiosity is ideal, but there may be circumstances where direct self-promotion is necessary to achieve career objectives.
  • Approaching informational interviews without any personal agenda might not always be practical, as individuals often have career goals that they need to align with networking opportunities.
  • Reframing anxiety as excitement can be helpful, but it may not be a universally effective strategy for everyone, as some individuals may find other coping mechanisms more effective for managing nerves.
  • Viewing nerves positively is a useful technique, but it may not address the root causes of anxiety for some individuals, who might benefit from more comprehensive stress management strategies.

Actionables

  • You can enhance your relationship-building skills by starting a peer recognition program at work. Create a simple system where colleagues can acknowledge each other's help and successes weekly. This not only fosters a positive work environment but also helps you practice acknowledging and communicating the value of relationships in a professional setting.
  • Develop your negotiation skills by role-playing collaborative scenarios with friends or family. Take turns being in different roles with varying objectives and practice finding mutually beneficial solutions. This low-stress environment allows you to experiment with different negotiation techniques and mindsets without the pressure of real-world consequences.
  • Transform anxiety into a performance enhancer by starting a 'nervous energy' journal. Before any high-stakes event, like a presentation or meeting, write down your anxious thoughts and then reframe them as excitement. For example, instead of writing "I'm nervous about messing up," write "I'm excited to share my ideas." This can help you channel nervous energy into a more positive and productive force.

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The Most Important Career Advice You’ll Ever Hear With Harvard Business School’s #1 Professor

Communication & Relationship Skills For Career Growth

Mel Robbins opens the conversation by stressing the importance of communication and interpersonal skills, which can be based on research, to advance one's career and get what they deserve at work.

Communication and Interpersonal Skills Trump Technical Expertise For Career Success

Research Shows Effective Leaders and High Performers Are Communicators Who Build Relationships

Alison Wood Brooks, a Harvard Business School professor with 15 years of work focusing on the science of communication, suggests that effective leaders are great conversationalists who understand and fulfill the needs of coworkers, investors, clients, customers, and bosses. She emphasizes that those who thrive at work are not necessarily the ones with the most technical expertise, but rather those who are personable and add value through their interactions.

Building Communication Skills Enhances Organizational Value

Brooks teaches a course called "Talk" to help individuals become better conversationalists, backing the idea that honing communication skills can make someone more effective as a leader and a team member. She advises preparing to share both personal and professional aspects during interviews and taking advantage of conversational skills to connect with others.

"We" Mindset Outperforms "Me" in Negotiations and Raise Requests

Prioritize Adding Value and Problem-Solving Over Personal Needs

Brooks and Robbins discuss that the best negotiators focus on the wider picture, prioritizing organizational value and problem-solving rather than individual needs. These high performers engage in a collaborative approach, asking how they can contribute to the company's success, rather than centering discussions on personal entitlements.

Align With Employer's Priorities to Achieve Shared Goals

During negotiations, it's important to align with an employers' values and priorities. Brooks recommends discussing how one can grow in their current role and asking questions that shift the focus from adversarial to cooperative, offering solutions t ...

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Communication & Relationship Skills For Career Growth

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Counterarguments

  • Technical expertise is a foundational element for many roles, and without it, communication skills may not be sufficient for career success.
  • In some industries, such as highly technical or specialized fields, technical skills may be more valued than communication skills.
  • Overemphasis on interpersonal skills could potentially lead to overlooking the importance of individual performance and technical contributions.
  • The idea that a "we" mindset always outperforms a "me" mindset in negotiations may not account for situations where individual advocacy is necessary for fair treatment or compensation.
  • Aligning with an employer's priorities is important, but there must be a balance to ensure that employees' personal and professional growth is not neglected.
  • The effectiveness of a col ...

Actionables

  • You can enhance your communication skills by starting a peer feedback loop at work. Create a small group with colleagues where you regularly exchange constructive feedback on communication styles, focusing on clarity, empathy, and effectiveness. For example, after a meeting, ask a peer for feedback on how you conveyed your points and how you might improve.
  • Develop a habit of conducting pre-negotiation research to align with your employer's values. Before any negotiation, spend time understanding your organization's current goals and challenges by reviewing internal reports, news releases, or strategic plans. Use this information to frame your negotiation points in a way that demonstrates how your proposals support these goals.
  • Practice reframing conver ...

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The Most Important Career Advice You’ll Ever Hear With Harvard Business School’s #1 Professor

Making Your Work Contributions Known and Demonstrating Value

Experts Mel Robbins and Alison Wood Brooks discuss the importance of demonstrating value in the workplace and suggest strategies for effectively sharing your success in order to seek promotions or raises.

Don't Assume Your Boss Knows Your Value

Robbins states that for minorities and women especially, it’s crucial to communicate achievements because bosses might be preoccupied with other duties and may not notice all the efforts of their employees. Both Robbins and Brooks emphasize the need to keep a record of accomplishments and to have conversations about how you’re adding value.

Record Accomplishments, Projects, and Problem-Solving Evidence

Mel Robbins recommends systematically recording your achievements, much like an academic would maintain a detailed CV. She suggests taking notes every Friday of the work done during the week. Robbins advised a restaurant manager to list all the problems she had solved and her unique contributions to ensure her boss realized her value.

Share Successes to Ensure Recognition

Sharing successes is important to make sure they are acknowledged. For instance, Robbins shares that her podcast ranking number one on Apple Podcasts is an achievement people wouldn’t know about unless she communicated it. Similarly, Brooks notes that by sharing your success, others can speak on your behalf and spread the recognition of your accomplishments. Robbins encourages sending an end-of-week email to your boss outlining tasks and strategic priorities.

Request Promotions or Raises Based On Value Provided, Not Just Deserved

Brooks and Robbins dive into strategies for requesting promotions or raises, emphasizing the importance of demonstrating how you have made the boss’s job easier and provided additional value.

Easier Organization or Boss's Job: Identify and Quantify Impact

They suggest employees identify and quantify the impact they've had on the organization. Robbins indicates that employees should not only solve problems but also share their problem-solving capabilities as a means of demonstrating their proactive approach. They also talk about understanding the organization’s structure and advancing in your current role as a way to justify a promotion or raise.

Offer Solutions That Benefit Both You and Your Employer Rather Than Making Demands

Wood Brooks and Robbins suggest approaching raise negotiations by framing the discussion around mutu ...

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Making Your Work Contributions Known and Demonstrating Value

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While communicating achievements is important, there is a risk of being perceived as boastful or self-promoting if not done tactfully.
  • Keeping a detailed record of accomplishments may be time-consuming and could detract from actual work performance if not managed properly.
  • The effectiveness of sharing successes can vary depending on the workplace culture; in some environments, it may not lead to the desired recognition.
  • The assumption that promotions or raises should be based solely on value provided can overlook other factors such as seniority, qualifications, or market rates for a position.
  • Quantifying impact can be challenging for roles that contribute to the organization in less measurable ways, such as those in creative or support positions.
  • The idea of offering solutions that benefit both parties assumes that the employer ...

Actionables

  • Create a personal "value journal" to document daily contributions and their impact on your work environment. By writing down even small achievements and how they've helped your team or company, you'll have a tangible record to reference during performance reviews or salary discussions. For example, if you streamlined a process that saved time for your team, note the specifics and the outcome.
  • Develop a "value presentation" template for use in performance and salary negotiations. This template should include sections for achievements, the quantifiable impact of your work, and proposed solutions for future improvements. Before a review, fill in this template to clearly articulate your value and suggest how you can further contribute to the company's success.
  • Initiate a peer recognition program at your workpla ...

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The Most Important Career Advice You’ll Ever Hear With Harvard Business School’s #1 Professor

Effective Networking and Informational Interviewing Techniques

Learning from experts like Alison Wood Brooks and Mel Robbins can illuminate how to approach networking and informational interviewing with strategies that are both genuine and effective.

Networking Is Key, yet Intimidating

Focus On Learning and Helping, Not Impressing

Brooks emphasizes that networking is not about being the most impressive person in the room but about initiating and sustaining valuable relationships. When networking, Brooks advises starting a networking interaction with genuine curiosity about the person's work and focusing on what is valuable to the other person rather than trying to impress.

Alison Wood Brooks explains the importance of asking questions to understand another person's needs. Thinking ahead about the value one can bring makes interactions less intimidating and more about being of service to others. Brooks also suggests expressing gratitude for others' time to show appreciation for the conversation.

Ask About Needs, Challenges, and Priorities

When at networking events, the focus should be on what the other person is interested in—they need right now—according to Brooks. By asking about someone's needs, challenges, and priorities, you can make yourself invaluable to them. Brooks further suggests asking one's boss about what they consider valuable and how the employee can advance in their role, which involves inquiring about the boss's needs, challenges, and priorities.

Informational Interviews: Expand Network, Uncover Hidden Job Market

Approach Informational Interviews With Curiosity, Not Agenda

During informational interviews, Brooks insists on the importance of approaching with curiosity rather than an agenda. Go into the meetings truly curious to learn from the person and about what they work on. Ask about what they love, hate, and the needs and gaps in their organization.

Share Useful Insights or Connections to Benefit Others

Brooks suggests thinking about the other person's needs, the ...

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Effective Networking and Informational Interviewing Techniques

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While expressing genuine curiosity is important, some individuals may find it difficult to convey authenticity, especially if they are naturally introverted or anxious in social situations.
  • The advice to focus on the other person's needs might lead to one-sided relationships if not balanced with also communicating one's own needs and interests.
  • Not all networking interactions will lead to immediate value or reciprocity, and some may require patience and long-term investment without clear benefits.
  • The emphasis on asking about needs, challenges, and priorities could be perceived as intrusive or presumptuous if not approached with the right level of tact and timing.
  • Informational interviews, while valuable, may not always uncover the hidden job market or lead to job opportunities, especially in highly competitive fields.
  • The suggestion to share useful insights or connections assumes that one has valuable information or connections to offer, which may not be the case for everyone, particularly those early in their careers.
  • Following up with gratitude and cal ...

Actionables

  • Create a personalized networking journal to track and reflect on your interactions, focusing on what you learned about others and how you can support them. Use this journal after each networking event or conversation to jot down key points about the people you met, their needs, and interests. This will help you remember to follow up with specific insights or connections that could help them, and it will make your follow-up messages more personal and impactful.
  • Develop a set of "curiosity cards" with open-ended questions tailored to different professional fields to spark engaging conversations. Before attending a networking event, prepare a small deck of cards with questions designed to delve into the challenges and interests of people you're likely to meet. For example, if you're attending a tech industry mixer, your cards might include questions like "What emerging technology do you think will have the biggest impact on our industry?" This approach encourages genuine curiosity and can lead to more meaningful discussions.
  • Volunteer to help org ...

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The Most Important Career Advice You’ll Ever Hear With Harvard Business School’s #1 Professor

Managing Anxiety and Nerves Through a Mindset Shift

Groundbreaking research suggests a change in perception may help individuals handle high-pressure situations and presentation nerves.

Reframe "Anxiety" as "Excitement" - Your Body's Response to Something You Care About

Mel Robbins and Alison Wood Brooks discuss how changing the perception of nerves to excitement can help prevent nerves from hijacking performance.

"Calming Down" When Nervous Is Counterproductive; Channel Energy Instead

Brooks discusses the common but ineffective attempts to calm down when feeling anxious and suggests it's more beneficial to channel that energy. Trying to calm down during anxiety is counterproductive because anxiety is a high arousal emotion that comes with physiological responses.

Brooks elaborates that it's challenging and nearly impossible to reduce these natural bodily reactions to anxiety. Instead of trying to reduce arousal, Brooks advises reframing the anxiety as excitement.

Shift Your Mindset to "I'm Excited About This" to Improve Performance and Composure

Brooks emphasizes that shifting from seeing yourself as anxious to being excited can focus on the possibility of positive scenarios unfolding. Brooks' research, cited by Robbins, shows that a reframe of nervousness into excitement can improve both performance and composure in stressful situations.

Brooks explains saying "I'm excited" out loud can change behavior, making positive outcomes more likely during scenarios like interviews. Reframing from negative to positive in your mind happens despite physiological reactions, which are recognized as signs of caring about the event.

Harness Nervous Energy By Focusing On Success ...

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Managing Anxiety and Nerves Through a Mindset Shift

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • Reframing anxiety as excitement may not work for everyone, as individual psychological responses to stress are highly variable.
  • Some individuals may find that attempting to channel energy when anxious can exacerbate their feelings of nervousness rather than alleviate them.
  • The suggestion to shift mindset to "I'm excited about this" might not address deeper issues of anxiety and could potentially lead to avoidance rather than coping.
  • Focusing solely on success might not prepare individuals for the possibility of failure, which is an inherent part of many high-pressure situations.
  • Building confidence by reinforcing strengths and past su ...

Actionables

  • Create a personal excitement mantra to use before high-pressure situations. Choose a short, positive phrase that resonates with you, such as "I thrive under pressure" or "Challenges energize me," and repeat it to yourself when you start to feel anxious. This can help shift your emotional state from anxiety to excitement and reinforce a positive mindset.
  • Develop a success playlist with songs that make you feel powerful and confident. Listen to this playlist during moments of anxiety or before an event that makes you nervous. The music can help transform your anxious energy into a more productive and excited state, aligning with the idea of channeling energy rather than trying to suppress it.
  • Start a visualization journal where you detail your d ...

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