On The Mel Robbins Podcast, Robbins welcomes Harvard Business School professor Alison Wood Brooks for a discussion around communication and relationship skills that are pivotal for career growth. Brooks shares insights from her research, emphasizing the importance of being an effective communicator and collaborator to excel as a leader and negotiator.
The episode explores practical strategies for making one's contributions known, demonstrating value to employers, and networking effectively. Brooks also offers tips for managing anxiety and nerves during important career moments by reframing one's mindset. Overall, the discussion provides actionable advice for leveraging interpersonal skills to unlock deserved advancement opportunities.
Sign up for Shortform to access the whole episode summary along with additional materials like counterarguments and context.
Mel Robbins emphasizes the importance of communication and relationship-building skills, backed by Harvard professor Alison Wood Brooks' research, to enhance one's career and get deserved advancement opportunities.
Brooks suggests great leaders are conversationalists who fulfill coworkers' needs. She highlights relationship skills over technical expertise for career success. During negotiations, Brooks advises a collaborative "we" mindset, aligning with the employer's priorities to achieve shared goals rather than centering personal entitlements.
Brooks and Robbins recommend recording accomplishments, sharing successes, and quantifying the impact made on the organization to ensure recognition. They suggest offering solutions benefiting both employee and employer during promotion or raise requests, framing discussions around mutual benefits and shared goals.
Brooks emphasizes networking through curiosity about others' work and needs, not self-promotion. For informational interviews, she suggests approaching with genuine interest, not an agenda, and offering useful insights to benefit contacts.
Brooks advocates reframing anxiety as excitement—a sign of caring about an important event. Her research shows viewing nerves positively improves performance and composure. She advises focusing on goals and visualizing success to harness nervous energy productively.
1-Page Summary
Mel Robbins opens the conversation by stressing the importance of communication and interpersonal skills, which can be based on research, to advance one's career and get what they deserve at work.
Alison Wood Brooks, a Harvard Business School professor with 15 years of work focusing on the science of communication, suggests that effective leaders are great conversationalists who understand and fulfill the needs of coworkers, investors, clients, customers, and bosses. She emphasizes that those who thrive at work are not necessarily the ones with the most technical expertise, but rather those who are personable and add value through their interactions.
Brooks teaches a course called "Talk" to help individuals become better conversationalists, backing the idea that honing communication skills can make someone more effective as a leader and a team member. She advises preparing to share both personal and professional aspects during interviews and taking advantage of conversational skills to connect with others.
Brooks and Robbins discuss that the best negotiators focus on the wider picture, prioritizing organizational value and problem-solving rather than individual needs. These high performers engage in a collaborative approach, asking how they can contribute to the company's success, rather than centering discussions on personal entitlements.
During negotiations, it's important to align with an employers' values and priorities. Brooks recommends discussing how one can grow in their current role and asking questions that shift the focus from adversarial to cooperative, offering solutions t ...
Communication & Relationship Skills For Career Growth
Experts Mel Robbins and Alison Wood Brooks discuss the importance of demonstrating value in the workplace and suggest strategies for effectively sharing your success in order to seek promotions or raises.
Robbins states that for minorities and women especially, it’s crucial to communicate achievements because bosses might be preoccupied with other duties and may not notice all the efforts of their employees. Both Robbins and Brooks emphasize the need to keep a record of accomplishments and to have conversations about how you’re adding value.
Mel Robbins recommends systematically recording your achievements, much like an academic would maintain a detailed CV. She suggests taking notes every Friday of the work done during the week. Robbins advised a restaurant manager to list all the problems she had solved and her unique contributions to ensure her boss realized her value.
Sharing successes is important to make sure they are acknowledged. For instance, Robbins shares that her podcast ranking number one on Apple Podcasts is an achievement people wouldn’t know about unless she communicated it. Similarly, Brooks notes that by sharing your success, others can speak on your behalf and spread the recognition of your accomplishments. Robbins encourages sending an end-of-week email to your boss outlining tasks and strategic priorities.
Brooks and Robbins dive into strategies for requesting promotions or raises, emphasizing the importance of demonstrating how you have made the boss’s job easier and provided additional value.
They suggest employees identify and quantify the impact they've had on the organization. Robbins indicates that employees should not only solve problems but also share their problem-solving capabilities as a means of demonstrating their proactive approach. They also talk about understanding the organization’s structure and advancing in your current role as a way to justify a promotion or raise.
Wood Brooks and Robbins suggest approaching raise negotiations by framing the discussion around mutu ...
Making Your Work Contributions Known and Demonstrating Value
Learning from experts like Alison Wood Brooks and Mel Robbins can illuminate how to approach networking and informational interviewing with strategies that are both genuine and effective.
Brooks emphasizes that networking is not about being the most impressive person in the room but about initiating and sustaining valuable relationships. When networking, Brooks advises starting a networking interaction with genuine curiosity about the person's work and focusing on what is valuable to the other person rather than trying to impress.
Alison Wood Brooks explains the importance of asking questions to understand another person's needs. Thinking ahead about the value one can bring makes interactions less intimidating and more about being of service to others. Brooks also suggests expressing gratitude for others' time to show appreciation for the conversation.
When at networking events, the focus should be on what the other person is interested in—they need right now—according to Brooks. By asking about someone's needs, challenges, and priorities, you can make yourself invaluable to them. Brooks further suggests asking one's boss about what they consider valuable and how the employee can advance in their role, which involves inquiring about the boss's needs, challenges, and priorities.
During informational interviews, Brooks insists on the importance of approaching with curiosity rather than an agenda. Go into the meetings truly curious to learn from the person and about what they work on. Ask about what they love, hate, and the needs and gaps in their organization.
Brooks suggests thinking about the other person's needs, the ...
Effective Networking and Informational Interviewing Techniques
Groundbreaking research suggests a change in perception may help individuals handle high-pressure situations and presentation nerves.
Mel Robbins and Alison Wood Brooks discuss how changing the perception of nerves to excitement can help prevent nerves from hijacking performance.
Brooks discusses the common but ineffective attempts to calm down when feeling anxious and suggests it's more beneficial to channel that energy. Trying to calm down during anxiety is counterproductive because anxiety is a high arousal emotion that comes with physiological responses.
Brooks elaborates that it's challenging and nearly impossible to reduce these natural bodily reactions to anxiety. Instead of trying to reduce arousal, Brooks advises reframing the anxiety as excitement.
Brooks emphasizes that shifting from seeing yourself as anxious to being excited can focus on the possibility of positive scenarios unfolding. Brooks' research, cited by Robbins, shows that a reframe of nervousness into excitement can improve both performance and composure in stressful situations.
Brooks explains saying "I'm excited" out loud can change behavior, making positive outcomes more likely during scenarios like interviews. Reframing from negative to positive in your mind happens despite physiological reactions, which are recognized as signs of caring about the event.
Managing Anxiety and Nerves Through a Mindset Shift
Download the Shortform Chrome extension for your browser