6 Sneaky Ways People Are Disrespecting You & What to Do About It

Mel Robbins explores the nuances of disrespectful communication behaviors and how they affect interpersonal interactions, suggesting strategies for addressing them proactively.

Interrupting Shows Disinterest in Others' Perspectives

Interrupting Mid-conversation Shows Disregard For Input

Robbins highlights that if someone continually talks over you, it indicates a lack of interest in your perspective. This form of interruption is disrespectful because it demonstrates that the person values their own words more than yours. Robbins advises that in such situations, to maintain your composure and keep speaking, and even to slow down to demonstrate your intention to complete your thoughts. Moreover, addressing the interrupter by name can reinforce your desire to finish and invite their feedback once you are done, she suggests.

Dismissing Someone's Feelings Is a Form of Disrespect

Ignoring or Belittling Another's Emotions Shows a Lack of Care

Robbins discusses the disrespect inherent when someone dismisses your feelings, as it indicates they don't care how they affect you. Disregarding someone's feelings, whether through calling them too sensitive or questioning their reactions, is effectively invalidating that person’s emotions. She notes that phrases like “You’re overreacting” or “You’re so sensitive” are clear indicators of emotional dismissal. Robbins also shares personal anecdotes, acknowledging that even unintentionally, one may step on someone else's feelings. She advises giving space to oneself to feel emotions when others dismiss them.

Condescending Behavior Undermines Others

Patronizing Comments Subtly Assert Superiority and Diminish the Recipient

Robbins examines the impact of condescending behavior, such as subtle patronizing comments, which can chip away at confidence and self-esteem. She notes that phrases like "You can't take a joke" or "That's a good idea for somebody who didn't go to college" can be particularly undermining. Condescension often cloaks it ...

Mel Robbins provides insights into the implications of chronic lateness on interpersonal relationships, highlighting it as a form of disrespect, and addresses the issue of the silent treatment in communication.

Chronic Lateness Shows Disregard For Others' Time

Robbins touches on how habitual lateness can be indicative of an underlying disregard for both one's own time and the time of others.

Tardiness Without Valid Reason Shows Disregard For Commitments

Robbins explains that individuals who are chronically late often fail to consider the impact of their tardiness on others, consumed by their own dysfunction. They may provide explanations for their lateness, yet this only further wastes the waiting person's time, accentuating the disrespect. She emphasizes that tardiness without a valid reason reflects a lack of regard for commitments.

Robbins suggests that when one is late, acknowledging the patience of others without excuses is a more respectful approach. She also recounts a personal anecdote where her husband helped her realize that her habitual lateness was a sign of disrespect towards his time.

Silent Treatment Is Passive-Aggressive Disrespect

Robbins delves into how giving the silent treatment and withholding communication in conflict can be an immature and unfair tactic.

Expecting Others to Intuit Your Needs By Withholding Communication and Feedback Is Immature and Unfair in Conflict Handling

Robbins criticizes the action of expecting others to intuit needs without explicit communication, calling it a subtle form ...

Understanding the roots and implications of disrespect reveals that it can stem from personal insecurities and have significant impacts on confidence and emotional well-being.

Disrespect Often Stems From Insecurity or Dysfunctional Coping Mechanisms

Robbins discusses the underlying reasons for disrespectful behavior, hinting at the relationship between chronic stress and dysfunctional coping mechanisms.

Chronic Stress Can Lead To Overreactions or Disrespect As a Means to Regain Control

Robbins explains that individuals dealing with chronic stress may experience heightened fight or flight responses, which can put them perpetually on edge. This constant state of alert might lead to overreactions or disrespectful behavior as individuals struggle to regain a sense of control in their lives. Stress, being a baseline for communication among people, can therefore cause an increase in disrespectful behavior when it overwhelms an individual's ability to cope healthily.

Impact of Disrespect on Confidence and Emotional Well-Being

Dealing with disrespect can have a corrosive effect on a person’s mental state, with potential to heighten stress and erode self-assurance.

Facing Invalidation and Condescension Can ...

Mel Robbins offers insights on handling disrespect with methods that emphasize self-respect and setting clear boundaries.

Set Boundaries and Uphold Self-Respect, Instead of Trying to Change Disrespectful Behavior

Respect Can't Be Forced; Choose Your Response

Robbins underlines the importance of recognizing one cannot control the behavior of others, but can control their response. She asserts that the way people treat you is a reflection of them, not you. Robbins encourages listeners to use the discomfort created by disrespect, such as a backhanded compliment, as a catalyst to assert their self-respect. Instead of confronting individuals in hopes of changing their behavior, Robbins suggests lifting oneself up, calling out disrespectful behavior, or removing oneself from the situation as acts of self-respect.

Communicate Clearly and Directly When You Feel Disrespected

Address Behavior to De-escalate, Not the Person

Robbins promises to provide research-backed methods for calling out, diffusing, and protecting oneself from disrespect, indicating that clear communication is key. She recommends validating one's feelings and expressing them directly, such as saying "I get to decide how I feel". Asking the disrespectful person to repeat what they said or clarifying their intent can demonstrate self-respect and help de-escalate the situation. Robbins shares that confronting condescending behavior directly, like asking if the person aims to make you feel bad, is a respectful way to stand one's ground.

If someone is speaking over you, Robbins advises taking control by speaking slowly, using the person's name to signal them to stop, and expressing a desire for your points to be heard.

Remove Yourself From Toxic Situations When Necessary

Limit Exposure to Consistently Disrespectful People Unwilling to Change

Recognizing when an e ...