How to Make Next Year the Best Year: Ask Yourself These 7 Questions
In this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, Robbins shares her approach to conducting an annual self-audit: reflecting on the past year to gain insights for personal growth. She walks through identifying key lessons, highlights, and challenges from the previous 12 months, using specific examples from her own life.
The self-audit process involves deciding what habits and commitments to stop, what beneficial practices to start, and what positive aspects to continue. Robbins emphasizes taking actionable steps based on the insights gained, such as making immediate changes and maintaining accountability through regular review. The episode outlines a structured method for harnessing self-reflection into a plan for a fulfilling year ahead.
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Reflecting on the past year through self-audit
Mel Robbins promotes conducting an annual self-audit, reviewing the past 12 months to gain insight and plan for personal growth.
Conducting an annual review to uncover insights
Robbins revisits highlights like writing projects and family events, noting their importance as "data" for change. Photos and calendars help recall emotions and experiences. She realized the need to change how she handled others' issues and related to her children.
Embracing the process for personal growth
Looking at successes and unmet goals with curiosity and compassion allows learning. Robbins uses her missed strength training goal as an example of bringing self-compassion. She urges focusing on the present while reflecting on the archived past year.
Identifying key lessons, highlights, and challenges
Robbins advocates recognizing positive and negative experiences that shaped personal development.
Celebrating accomplishments and joyful moments
Robbins recounts fulfilling moments like climbing Mount Katahdin, her daughter's Carnegie Hall performance, time with family and friends, and new experiences like flamingo yoga.
Acknowledging difficulties as opportunities for growth
She confronts hardships like her tendency to solve others' problems, disorderly life affecting her routine, dealing with menopause and an empty nest. Her family faced challenges like her father's surgery, her children's struggles, and project exhaustion.
Deciding what to stop, start, and continue
Robbins' audit clarifies her situation, lessons, and desires to plan future actions focused on happiness.
Letting go of unproductive habits and commitments
She will stop overworking, avoid unnecessary family rescuing, and eliminate friction-causing situations.
Committing to new beneficial practices
Robbins plans to provide supportive belief in her family instead of solving problems for them, focusing on high-impact work while limiting stressful tasks.
Preserving positive aspects
She aims for more family time and continuing to "Let Them" handle their emotions. Robbins will seek peace over family conflict and maintain meaningful activities.
Taking actionable steps for the new plan
Robbins stresses identifying concrete actions after self-reflection for a fulfilling year.
Identifying specific immediate actions
She plans team and work changes based on recognizing strengths and limits. Robbins recommends swift actions like learning new hobbies or planning activities with loved ones.
Maintaining accountability through regular review
Robbins highlights using the audit to forge a plan reflecting lessons learned. She suggests conducting it with others like family for support and accountability.
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Counterarguments
- While self-audits can be beneficial, they may not be suitable for everyone; some individuals might find them overwhelming or may not have the self-discipline to conduct them effectively.
- Relying on photos and calendars to recall emotions and experiences could lead to a biased or incomplete understanding of the past year, as these tools may not capture all relevant details or the complexity of experiences.
- The process of self-reflection and growth could inadvertently become self-centered, neglecting how one's actions and growth affect others around them.
- The idea of focusing on the present while reflecting on the past year might be challenging to balance, as dwelling on past events could hinder some individuals from moving forward.
- Celebrating accomplishments is important, but it might also be necessary to recognize the role of privilege, support systems, and external factors in these successes.
- Acknowledging difficulties solely as opportunities for growth might not address the need for external support or professional help in some situations.
- The recommendation to let go of unproductive habits assumes that individuals can easily identify and change these habits, which may not be the case for everyone.
- Committing to new beneficial practices is a positive step, but it's important to acknowledge that change often requires time and may involve setbacks.
- Preserving positive aspects of one's life is important, but it's also crucial to remain open to change and adaptability, as what is positive can evolve over time.
- Identifying specific immediate actions is a proactive approach, but it's important to ensure that these actions are realistic and sustainable in the long term.
- Maintaining accountability through regular review is a good practice, but it might not be feasible for everyone, especially without a strong support system.
- Involving family in the process for support and accountability assumes that family dynamics are healthy and supportive, which may not be the case for all individuals.
Actionables
- Create a personal growth scrapbook to visualize your journey, using a mix of photos, ticket stubs, and brief journal entries to capture emotions and experiences from the past year. This tactile approach can help you remember and evaluate your experiences more vividly than digital methods.
- Develop a "Change Jar" where you write down one small habit or commitment you want to let go of each week on a piece of paper and place it in the jar. At the end of the month, review these and choose one to actively eliminate from your life, creating a tangible process for letting go of unproductive habits.
- Start a family "Growth Board" in a common area of your home, where each family member can post their accomplishments, challenges, and growth goals. This can foster a supportive environment and encourage regular conversations about personal development and accountability within the family.
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Reflecting on the past year through self-audit
Mel Robbins shares insights on the process of conducting an annual self-audit, revealing how reflecting on the past year can lead to personal growth and more deliberate planning for the future.
Conducting an annual review of the previous 12 months to uncover valuable insights and lessons
Mel Robbins discusses the value of performing a yearly audit of one's life, reviewing experiences, accomplishments, challenges, emotions, and routines to gain wisdom and set directions for living a more fulfilling life.
During this process, Robbins revisits the highlights of the past year, including personal and professional milestones such as completing writing projects, family events, and hobbies like planting a cutting garden. She sees these events as important data that inform what changes she might make in her life.
Using personal photos, calendars, and memories to jog recollection of significant events, experiences, and emotions from the past year
Robbins details the practical steps she takes to conduct her self-audit. She encourages others to revisit their calendar and photos to recall key events and experience that occurred throughout the year. This act can help gain insights that are valuable for personal growth and future planning.
For Robbins, the lessons learned in hindsight are critical. For example, she realized through her audits that she needed to change how she managed other people's emotional breakdowns and how she related to her adult children.
As a tool to assist in this reflection, Robbins suggests using one’s phone’s camera roll and calendar to jog memory about what has transpired over the course of the year.
Embracing the process as an opportunity for personal growth and planning for the year ahead
Mel Robbins urg ...
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Reflecting on the past year through self-audit
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Counterarguments
- While reflecting on the past can be beneficial, it's important to ensure that it doesn't lead to excessive rumination or negative self-judgment, which can be counterproductive to personal growth.
- Personal photos and calendars may not always capture the full spectrum of one's experiences, potentially leading to a skewed or incomplete perspective of the past year.
- Some individuals may find that a self-audit reinforces negative feelings about unmet goals, which could impact mental health if not approached with the right mindset.
- The process of self-audit might not be suitable for everyone; some people may benefit more from forward-looking strategies or professional guidance rather than self-directed reflection.
- Relying on digital tools like phone's camera roll and calendar might not capture the nuances of personal growth and could overlook important emotional or interpersonal developments.
- The assumption that lessons from the past are always clear or that they can be easily translated into future plans may not hold true for everyo ...
Actionables
- Create a visual timeline of your year using a collage app to identify patterns and growth areas. Choose a collage app and select images from your phone that represent key moments from the past year. Arrange them chronologically and add brief notes about each event's impact on you. This visual representation can make it easier to spot trends in your activities and emotions, helping you to pinpoint areas where you've grown and where you'd like to focus your efforts in the coming year.
- Start a 'Future Letter' to your future self outlining your current state and aspirations. Write a detailed letter to yourself, describing your current situation, feelings, accomplishments, and unmet goals. Seal it in an envelope with a date for next year's self-audit. When you open it a year later, you'll have a personal, heartfelt benchmark against which to measure your growth and a reminder of where you hoped to be. ...
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Identifying key lessons, highlights, and challenges from the past year
Robbins provides a comprehensive process for reflecting on the past year, encompassing both achievements and difficulties to facilitate personal growth and awareness.
Recognizing both the positive and negative experiences that shaped personal development over the past 12 months
Celebrating the accomplishments, joyful moments, and important milestones that brought a sense of fulfillment
Robbins underscores the importance of recounting not only challenges but also celebrating personal victories and memorable instances that have contributed to one’s sense of fulfillment over the past year. She vividly recalls climbing Mount Katahdin with her family, planting a cutting garden, and rejoicing in the momentous event of her daughter's performance at Carnegie Hall. Robbins prompts listeners to delve into positive experiences, like the highlights of visiting her daughter in California, reuniting with friends, attending ski races, and the joy derived from new experiences such as the flamingo yoga class. Reviewing photos helps remind her of these noteworthy moments, emphasizing that time with family is deeply important to her.
Acknowledging the difficulties, hardships, and painful experiences that presented opportunities for learning and growth
On the flip side, Robbins acknowledges the significance of confronting hardships and occasional disappointments, understanding them as critical facets of personal development. She shares insights from the past year, such as understanding her inclination to solve other people's problems and recognizing her operational limitations within her own business. Robbins cites that when life became disorderly, her exercise routine suffered, indicating the necessity of consistent routines. Negative experiences included dealing with menopause, feeling disempowered, working excessively to th ...
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Identifying key lessons, highlights, and challenges from the past year
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Counterarguments
- Reflecting on both positive and negative experiences may not always lead to personal growth if not accompanied by actionable insights and changes in behavior.
- Celebrating accomplishments can sometimes lead to complacency if not balanced with a drive for continuous improvement.
- The process of acknowledging difficulties and hardships could potentially reinforce negative emotions or a victim mentality if not approached with a mindset geared towards empowerment and resilience.
- The emphasis on personal victories and memorable instances might overshadow the value of mundane or routine experiences that also contribute to personal development.
- Reviewing photos as a reminder of important moments could be biased, as people tend to take photos of positive experiences, potentially neglecting the lessons learned from less photogenic but equally significant events.
- The necessity of confronting hardships and disappointments might not resonate with individuals who believe in focusing primarily on positive thinking and manifestation as tools for personal development.
- The idea that understanding operational limitations is crucial could be challenged by those who advocate for pushing boundaries and embracing a growth mindset without self-imposed limitations.
- The negative experiences listed, such as dealing with menopause or feeling disempowered, might not be universally applicable or perceived as negative by all individuals.
- ...
Actionables
- Create a personal growth scrapbook to capture both triumphs and trials, using a mix of photos, ticket stubs, and brief journal entries to document the full spectrum of your experiences over the year. This tactile approach allows you to physically interact with your memories, encouraging a deeper reflection on how each event contributed to your growth.
- Start a 'challenge coin' tradition for yourself, where you design a small coin or token to commemorate overcoming a particular hardship or achieving a goal. Carry or display these coins as tangible reminders of your resilience and accomplishments, which can serve as motivation in future challenging times.
- Develop a 'growth through discomfort' habit by ...
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Deciding what to stop, start, and continue doing in the coming year
Mel Robbins conducts a personal audit to help clarify the current situation, lessons learned, and true desires—essential elements for planning future actions. This audit aims to guide what to stop, start, and continue in the upcoming year, considering happiness and fulfillment as primary metrics.
Letting go of unproductive habits, behaviors, and commitments that drained energy and prevented progress
Committing to eliminate activities, thought patterns, and relationships that created unnecessary stress or friction
Robbins recognizes the need to let go of unproductive habits that take over one's life, such as overworking and not making time for social engagements or family. She has made a conscious decision to stop rescuing her family members from their challenges, allowing them to face consequences and learn from life's lessons. Robbins uses discomfort and friction as indicators to identify when she's in the wrong role. Understanding this has liberated her to make necessary changes, and she intends to weed out areas of her life that cause frustration. Previously, Robbins stopped her excessive traveling for work as it was draining, and she plans to continue avoiding situations that cause her frustration.
Committing to adopt new practices, routines, and focus areas that align with personal values and goals
Designing a plan to incorporate beneficial new habits and behaviors that support overall wellbeing and progress
Robbins stresses the importance of stopping activities that don't contribute to joy and starting behaviors informed by the past year's lessons. She aims to focus on providing support and believing in her family's ability to endure rather than attempting to solve their problems for them. Furthermore, she plans to focus on only a few work-related tasks that have a significant impact, like her podcast, while limiting work that adds unnecessary stress. Robbins is also contemplating the right changes and environment that align with her needs. By focusing on what brings her peace and reducing what doesn't serve her, Robbins establishes a clear plan to adopt beneficial habits that aid her progress and wellbeing.
Preserving the positive as ...
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Deciding what to stop, start, and continue doing in the coming year
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Counterarguments
- Personal audits may not account for unforeseen circumstances that could affect one's ability to follow through with plans.
- Happiness and fulfillment are subjective metrics that can be difficult to measure and may not always align with practical or financial responsibilities.
- Letting go of unproductive habits is easier said than done, and some individuals may require professional support to make these changes.
- Eliminating stress-inducing activities and relationships might not be feasible in all cases, especially if they involve family or work obligations that cannot be avoided.
- The idea of not rescuing family members from challenges could be seen as neglectful in certain situations where support is necessary.
- Using discomfort and friction as indicators for change might not always be reliable, as these feelings can sometimes be part of growth and learning processes.
- Focusing only on work-related tasks with significant impact could lead to missed opportunities in areas that are currently undervalued or emerging.
- The concept of adopting new practices and routines assumes that one has the resources and time to implement these changes, which might not be the c ...
Actionables
- You can create a "Happiness Jar" where each day you write down something that made you happy or fulfilled on a piece of paper and drop it in the jar. This tangible practice helps you focus on positive experiences and serves as a reminder of what to continue doing. For example, if spending time with your family brought you joy, you'll have a visual cue to keep prioritizing family time.
- Develop a "No More" list where you jot down all the things you want to stop doing, such as overworking or rescuing family members from their problems. Place this list in a prominent spot as a daily reminder of your commitment to change. For instance, if you find yourself starting to work late, a glance at your list can be the nudge you need to step away and enjoy personal time.
- Initiate a monthly "Role Play" reflection where you assess your roles in different areas of life and identify where you ...
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Taking actionable steps to implement the new plan for the upcoming year
Robbins discusses how understanding the past year's experiences is essential for creating a clear and focused plan, and she stresses the necessity of concrete actions to make the next year fulfilling.
Identifying specific, tangible actions that can be taken immediately to start making progress
Robbins emphasizes the significance of taking the first steps immediately after a self-audit to set the course for a successful year. She reveals that her own audit highlighted a tension in her work life, notably in team management and handling P&Ls. Recognizing her strengths and limitations, Robbins is gearing up for changes. She plans to be more disciplined, zeroing in on the core aspects of her work and life that truly matter to her happiness and success. Robbins recommends acting swiftly based on the self-reflection, asking listeners what simple actions they can take today. She provides examples like watching a video to learn about a new hobby like planting flowers or planning meaningful activities like laughing with friends or spending time with parents.
Maintaining accountability and momentum by regularly reviewing and refining the personalized plan
Robbins underscores the importance of using the audit to forge a plan that reflects what has been learned over the past year. ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Taking actionable steps to implement the new plan for the upcoming year
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While understanding past experiences is valuable, it's also important not to dwell on the past to the point where it hinders progress.
- Concrete actions are important, but they must be balanced with flexibility to adapt to unforeseen circumstances.
- Immediate action after a self-audit is beneficial, but sometimes a period of reflection is necessary to ensure the right course of action is chosen.
- Recognizing strengths and limitations is crucial, but overemphasis on limitations can lead to a fixed mindset rather than a growth mindset.
- Discipline is important, but so is allowing for spontaneity and creativity, which can also contribute to happiness and success.
- Swift action is often good, but hasty decisions without proper planning can lead to mistakes.
- Planning meaningful activities is crucial, but it's also important to find joy and fulfillment in the mundane aspects of daily life.
- Regular review and refinement of plans are necessary, but excessive planning can lead to analysis paralysis.
- Creating a plan based on past learnings is important, but one should also remain open to new experiences and learning opportunities that challenge past assumptions.
- Identifying what ...
Actionables
- You can create a 'change jar' where you write down one thing to start, stop, and continue on slips of paper each week, then review and adjust your actions accordingly. This tactile approach makes abstract concepts concrete, and by physically adding or removing slips, you're more likely to remember and commit to your decisions. For example, you might write "start a 10-minute daily meditation," "stop checking emails after 8 pm," and "continue my weekly call with a friend."
- Develop a 'strengths and limitations' map by drawing two intersecting circles to represent your personal and professional life. In each section, list out your strengths and limitations, then identify where they overlap. This visual tool helps you see where you can leverage your strengths in both areas and where you might need support or improvement. For instance, if you're great at organizing in your personal life, you might apply this skill to manage projects at work.
- Initiate a monthly 'reflection dinner' with close friends or family ...
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