Stop Doubting Yourself: 5 Tips to Boost Your Confidence

Mel Robbins clarifies that confidence is not an innate characteristic but a skill that anyone can develop through practice and action.

Confidence is a skill, not a feeling, that can be learned and developed over time

Confidence, according to Robbins, is the product of deliberate action; it's a habit that is nurtured.

Confidence is defined as the willingness to try, not just a feeling of self-assurance

Mel Robbins defines confidence not as an inherent feeling but as the willingness to make an attempt—to try. She articulates that true confidence emerges when you're ready to embrace being a beginner, willing to possibly look foolish, and are open to making mistakes.

Confidence is built through repeated action and practice, not by waiting to "feel" confident

Robbins insists that the act of repeatedly trying, regardless of initial success or failure, leads to learning new things. This forms a positive feedback loop where learning decreases self-doubt and increases the willingness to try, thereby growing confidence. She shares her own experience with public speaking, detailing how continued practice diminished her fear and anxiety, demonstrating that confidence is a result of mastery gained from persistent effort.

Robbins encourages taking action before feeling ready, underscoring that confidence trails action. By stepping towards a goal, like exploring the process of buying a house, one cultivates the skill of confidence. She exemplifie ...

Robbins shares effective techniques for building confidence, emphasizing the importance of courage and preparation in overcoming self-doubt.

Use the 5-second rule to interrupt self-doubt and take action

Mel Robbins introduces the five-second rule as a method to break the cycle of self-doubt. She says, "When you're in a situation where you start to doubt yourself, you're just gonna count backwards, five, four, three, two, one and then you physically move within five seconds." This interruption helps individuals take immediate action rather than hesitating.

Courage comes first, and confidence is built over time through repeated attempts

Robbins underscores the significance of acting with courage and using the five-second countdown to take risks. "Courage comes first. Courage, five, four, three, two, one. You start counting backwards, man, that is an act of courage, because you're going for it. Courage comes first. Confidence is what builds over time," she states. By adopting this habit of taking action, confidence gradually increases through persistence and practice.

Adopt an "alter ego" mindset to distance yourself from self-doubt

Creating an alter ego can be an empowering strategy to deal with present fears and act more confidently.

Creating a vision of your future, confident self can help you act the part in the present

Robbins discusses the power of an alter ego by asking, "What would The Rock do?" as a way to channel a confident persona in overcoming self-doubt. She also emphasizes the objectivity that comes with thinking of a future, more confident version of oneself.

Behavioral activation research shows acting like the person you want to become helps make it a reality

Referencing behavioral activation therapy and research from Johns Hopkins University, Robbins highlights that acting as if you have already achieved your future confident self is one of the quickest ways to effect change. ...

Robbins discusses the value of adversity in growing self-confidence, offering personal experiences to illustrate how setbacks contribute to self-improvement.

Failures and mistakes are a necessary part of building true, lasting confidence

Confidence arises not from relentless success, but through the experience of failure. Robbins articulates that it is not in moments of victory that we build confidence, but when we're willing to continue trying despite facing setbacks. The speaker candidly shares her own mishaps, like incurring debt and a period of unemployment, all of which contributed to the creation of her five-second rule and led her to dive into new ventures.

Robbins stresses that heartaches and blunders teach invaluable life lessons. She shows by example how failures were often the result of her own doing but ultimately equipped her with essential lessons, skills, or wisdom needed for future success. Robbins affirms, "You are going to feel lost," but insists these dark moments demand that you fall and get back up again, as confidence is honed in those challenging times.

Robbins asserts that in pushing through difficulties, in feeling like an imposter but still starting at zero, and in tackling things you've never done, you nurture the very reserve, the skill of confidence. She expresses a willingness to appear foolish or make errors, aware that experience and profound moments of joy and achievement lie beyond the risk.

Robbins emphasizes that each attempt, whether triumphant or not, is a stepping stone to gaining confidence. She believes that every failure elucidates lessons that shape who we are and prime us for upcoming endeavors.

Embrace "imposter syndrome" as a sign you're stretching beyond your comfort zone

Robbins points out that the feeling of being an imposter means you're forging into new territory and taking on new challenges. She encourages a positive interpretation of this sensation, as it indicates growth and the pu ...

Mel Robbins and a caller discuss how social media and technology can impede personal self-growth. They delve into the ways in which social media usage influences confidence.

Social media can undermine confidence by exposing you to unrealistic comparisons

Social media is a double-edged sword, according to Robbins, not inherently good or bad but potentially harmful depending on usage. Robbins indicates that the unintentional consumption of social media can lead to negative self-perception. The habit of following accounts that cause self-doubt or dissatisfaction—such as those of celebrities, meme pages, supermodels, or displays of wealth—can trigger self-doubt, self-sabotage, self-criticism, and a "loser mentality."

Curate your social media feeds to follow only accounts that uplift and inspire you

Robbins advises users to curate their social media feeds with intentionality. Accounts followed should align with personal goals and aspirations to foster happiness and confidence. Eliminating social media content that does not contribute to one's sense of self-worth will enhance self-assurance.

Be intentional about what you consume and post on social media to support your goals

By being selective and purposeful about what to consume and post on social media, individuals can support their personal goals. This actionable step can stop the decrease in one's willingness to try new things due to feeling inferior compared to others’ often unrealistic online portrayals.

Taking breaks from social media can help regain perspective and self-confidence

Excessive exposure to social media can impact self-confidence negatively. The caller expresses the decision to eliminate social media entirely, acknowledging it was not conducive to their current state.

Removing the negative influences of social media allows you ...