The Science of Well-Being: Powerful Happiness Hacks That 5 Million People Are Using

Laurie Santos, a professor at Yale, highlights the complexities of happiness and debunks some misconceptions about what leads to a contented life.

The surprising science reveals that we get happiness wrong

Our intuitions about happiness often mislead us as we are not inherently designed to pursue joy due to evolutionary factors like the negativity bias.

Our intuitions about what makes us happy often lead us astray

Santos suggests that individuals frequently engage in activities like scrolling through Instagram or checking emails during small breaks that end up being unfulfilling. She emphasizes that people's common intuitions about happiness, such as focusing on personal gain or making increasingly better circumstances for themselves, are misguided. Such behaviors, Santos explains, might be a result of our brains playing out in ways that lead us away from happiness.

Santos advocates for simple changes in behavior and mindset to improve well-being. However, these adjustments are often contrary to our impulses that are driven by evolutionary traits, like the negativity bias, which had us focus on avoiding dangers rather than on contentment. Mel Robbins supports this view by discussing how the modern triggers for the negativity bias make people feel negative about more things.

We are not naturally wired for happiness due to evolutionary factors like the negativity bias

Humans' natural focus on survival means that positive emotions such as joy were not as crucial as fear and anger. Modern examples of the negativity bias, like feeling left out, trigger negative emotions that our ancestors needed to avoid danger, but which now contribute to dissatisfaction.

Happiness has two components: happiness in your life and happiness with your life

Santos declares happiness has two aspects: the experience of positive emotions and life satisfaction.

Happiness in your life refers to positive emotions and experiences

Santos suggests strategies for increasing positive emotions like joy, laughter, and contentment to patch up our "leaky happiness tire."

Happiness with your life refers to overall life satisfaction and a sense of meaning

The goal of boosting happiness also involves improving overall life satisfaction and a sense of meaning. Santos specifies this as answering affirmatively to the question, "All things considered, how satisfied do I feel?" and having a purpose in life.

Wealth and material circumstances have a limited impact on happiness past a certain point

After meeting basic needs, acquiring more wealth has a diminishing impact on how happy we are.

Money can improve happiness by meeting basic needs, but additional wealth has diminishin ...

Laurie Santos and Mel Robbins delve into various factors that are crucial for happiness, outlining the importance of social connections, gratitude and mindfulness, self-compassion, and the ability to savor positive experiences as critical components of well-being.

Prioritizing social connection

Santos emphasizes that happy people are social by nature and tend to spend significant amounts of time with friends and family. Research suggests that wealthier individuals who have more discretionary time are likely to engage in activities that involve helping others. Additionally, Santos references Nick Epley’s research, which found that talking to strangers on public transport could lead to positive emotions and a feeling of reduced loneliness. She points out the colloquial truth that "nobody waves, but everybody waves back," emphasizing the reciprocated joy in initiating interaction.

Mel Robbins supports this by sharing her own experience of engaging with strangers through simple gestures like compliments, noting how personal warmth is often returned and enhances her own mood. Santos also addresses the widespread increase in loneliness and stresses the value of even small social interactions, like chatting with a barista, for combating feelings of isolation.

Interacting with others, even strangers, boosts happiness more than we expect

Both introverts and extroverts experience a boost in happiness from interacting with strangers, according to Santos. Despite introverts believing it would make them feel worse, increased socialization has been shown to benefit them as well.

Practicing gratitude and mindfulness

The act of gratitude is a special form of being present, Santos notes, where appreciating the positive aspects of our daily experiences can significantly enhance well-being. For example, Santos herself mentions looking up and appreciating her beautiful neighborhood as a moment that adds to happiness.

Being present in the moment, rather than mind-wandering, is linked to higher happiness

Moreover, Santos urges the practice of "regular presence" or mindfulness as it is more commonly known, which is associated with greater happiness. This mindfulness can manifest in simple acts like noticing one’s surroundings during a routine walk.

Developing self-compassion

According to Santos, self-compassion involves treating ourselves with the same kindness we would extend to a friend. She ...

In the pursuit of increased well-being, Laurie Santos and Mel Robbins offer practical advice and "homework" assignments aimed at cultivating happiness in daily life.

Proactively scheduling social connection, like giving compliments to others

Making an effort to connect with others, even in small ways, can fill up the "happiness tank"

Expressing genuine appreciation and interest in others cultivates positivity. Santos recommends reaching out to old friends or someone who might be feeling lonely as an immediate way to feel more connected. Sending a check-in text or sharing something that reminded you of them can reduce both your own and the other person’s loneliness. Robbins suggests engaging in micro-interactions, like smiling or holding the door for someone, instead of focusing on one’s phone, to reclaim happiness.

Expressing genuine appreciation and interest in others cultivates positivity

Santos highlights the importance of proactively giving at least three genuine compliments to different people over the next week, whether to strangers or acquaintances. These actions foster social connection and allow you to spread kindness.

Implementing regular gratitude and mindfulness practices

Keeping a gratitude journal or simply pausing to notice the good can shift perspective

Santos advises using “negative visualization” from the Stoics to heighten gratitude. By imagining the last time you saw loved ones was the last, you intensify gratitude. She advocates writing down grateful thoughts during routine tasks or in an app, noting that spending time thinking about gratitude deepens the experience.

Being fully present, even in mundane moments, allows you to savor life's small pleasures

Mindfulness enhances well-being by helping individuals savor the present moment. Santos mentions enjoying the experience of drinking coffee or doing the dishes by paying full attention to the sensory details, transforming these common activities into meaningful experiences.

Developing self-compassion through self-talk and reframing

Speaking to yourself with kindness and understanding, rather than criticism, supports well-being

Santos underscores the importance of self-compassion, recognizing that struggles are universal, which can alleviate self-judgment. She suggests that understanding the shared nature of difficulties can bolster emotional resilience.

Recognizing th ...