Build Amazing Habits: Simple Steps to Break Bad Habits & Make Good Ones Stick
In this episode of the Mel Robbins Podcast, Robbins explores the science behind building long-lasting habits. She challenges common misconceptions, like the idea that forming a habit takes 21 days, and explains habits as a three-part loop: trigger, behavior, and reward.
Robbins shares strategies for creating new habits, such as replacing negative behaviors with positive ones that provide the same reward, pairing habits with intrinsic rewards, and developing a personalized system. The episode provides insights into identifying and understanding the specific components of habit formation, enabling listeners to create effective systems for breaking bad habits and establishing good ones.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Oct 12, 2024 episode of the The Mel Robbins Podcast
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1-Page Summary
Common Habit Misconceptions
Mel Robbins, citing expert Dr. Wendy Wood, explains that most people think they understand habits, but they fail to effectively apply the scientific principles behind them. Robbins notes the misconception that successful people have more discipline, when they simply have better habit systems in place.
She also challenges the notion that it takes 21 days to form a new habit, calling it "malarkey." A study found the actual timeframe varies from 18 to 254 days, emphasizing the need for patience and personalization.
The Three Key Components
Robbins explains habits as a loop with three components: a trigger that initiates the behavior, the behavior itself, and a reward that reinforces it. She argues focusing solely on controlling the behavior, without understanding the trigger and reward, leads to failure.
Triggers
Triggers can be external, like time of day or location, or internal, like emotions and thoughts. Identifying specific triggers is crucial for changing habits.
Behavior
The core of the habit, the behavior is the action following the trigger, like reaching for a drink after work.
Reward
The reward, like relaxation from drinking, triggers [restricted term] release that encodes the habit loop. Finding the right reward makes new habits stick.
Strategies for Creating New Habits
Replace Negative Behaviors
Instead of eliminating unwanted habits through willpower, Robbins suggests replacing the behavior with a new one that provides the same reward, like making mocktails instead of alcoholic drinks.
Pair With Immediate Rewards
Pairing new habits with intrinsic rewards, like a satisfying breakfast, helps encode positive habits faster than extrinsic rewards.
Customize Your System
Creating a personalized system of triggers, routines, and rewards aligned with one's goals increases the likelihood of adopting new habits successfully. Robbins provides worksheets to identify ideal systems.
1-Page Summary
Additional Materials
Clarifications
- The habit loop consists of three key components: the trigger, which initiates the behavior; the behavior itself, which is the action taken in response to the trigger; and the reward, which reinforces the behavior. Triggers can be external or internal cues that prompt a habit, while the behavior is the actual action performed. The reward is the positive outcome or feeling that follows the behavior, reinforcing the habit loop. Understanding and manipulating these components can help in forming or changing habits effectively.
- External triggers for habits are environmental cues like a specific time of day or a particular place that prompt a behavior. Internal triggers are emotional or mental cues such as feelings or thoughts that lead to a certain action. Identifying both external and internal triggers is essential for understanding and changing habits effectively. By recognizing these triggers, individuals can better manage their responses and work towards forming healthier habits.
- [restricted term] release encoding the habit loop:
[restricted term] is a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward in the brain. When a behavior is followed by a rewarding experience, like relaxation from drinking, [restricted term] is released. This release of [restricted term] reinforces the connection between the trigger, behavior, and reward, strengthening the habit loop in the brain. Over time, this reinforcement makes the habit more automatic and ingrained.
- Pairing new habits with intrinsic rewards means connecting the behavior you want to adopt with internal, personal benefits that are inherently satisfying to you. This approach leverages your natural desires and values to reinforce the habit loop, making it more enjoyable and sustainable. Intrinsic rewards can be things like a sense of accomplishment, joy, or fulfillment that come from engaging in the habit itself, rather than relying on external rewards like praise or material goods. By linking the habit to these meaningful internal rewards, you are more motivated to continue the behavior over time.
- Creating a personalized system of triggers, routines, and rewards involves tailoring your environment and actions to support the development of new habits. Triggers are cues that prompt a behavior, routines are the actions you take, and rewards reinforce the habit loop. By customizing these elements to align with your goals and preferences, you can increase the effectiveness of habit formation and make it easier to adopt and maintain positive behaviors. This approach emphasizes the importance of understanding what motivates you and structuring your daily activities to support the changes you want to make.
Counterarguments
- While Robbins emphasizes the importance of habit systems over discipline, one could argue that discipline is still a critical component in maintaining those systems, especially when facing unexpected challenges or when motivation wanes.
- The range of 18 to 254 days for forming a new habit is quite broad, suggesting that the process is highly individualized. This could imply that the concept of an average timeframe is somewhat misleading and that each person may need to experiment to find their own timeline.
- The habit loop of trigger, behavior, and reward is a simplification and may not encompass the complexity of habit formation for everyone. Some habits may form without a clear reward or may be driven by factors outside of this loop.
- The idea that replacing negative behaviors with positive ones is more effective than using willpower could be contested by arguing that willpower itself can be strengthened like a muscle and that sometimes avoidance or cessation is the most effective strategy.
- Pairing new habits with immediate rewards might not always be feasible or effective, especially for habits that inherently have delayed rewards, such as exercise or long-term projects.
- Customizing a system of triggers, routines, and rewards may not be a one-size-fits-all solution, as some individuals may thrive with more structured approaches or with external accountability.
- The efficacy of worksheets and other tools provided for identifying ideal systems may vary greatly among individuals, and some may find them too rigid or not comprehensive enough to address their unique challenges and lifestyle.
- The assumption that identifying specific triggers is crucial for changing habits may not hold true for all types of habits or behaviors, especially those that are less conscious or more complex.
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The misconceptions and mistakes people make in trying to change their habits
Mel Robbins, citing expert Dr. Wendy Wood, highlights that while most people think they understand habits, they often fail to apply the science of habits effectively.
Most people think they understand habits, but they don't apply the science behind them effectively.
Robbins emphasizes the misconception that successful people have more discipline, whereas they actually have better habits and systems in place. She insists that everyone gets habits wrong because they don’t use the necessary systems, tools, and strategies to hack habits using scientific knowledge. Most people, she notes, lack the application of scientific understanding needed to change behavior and make it stick.
The common belief that it takes 21 days to form a new habit is incorrect.
Robbins challenges the notion that forming a new habit takes 21 days, calling it "malarkey." She explains that this false belief leads to people setting impossible standards for themselves, becoming impatient, and self-critical if behaviors don’t change after this time frame. A study by Philippa Lally in the European Journal of Social Psychology reveals that the time to form a habit varies from 18 to 254 days. She stresses that missing a few days does not derail the habit-forming process and that the time frame is deeply personal and varies depending on the individual.
Many people focus solely on the desired behavior change, without considering the underlying trigger and reward mechanisms.
Robbins criticizes the common approach of relying on willpower to change behavior. She argues that this method is ineffective because it overlooks the triggers and rewards that are pivotal in forming new habits. Instead of simply instructing oneself to change a behavior ("just sit" or "don’t eat when sad"), Robbins stresses that understanding the full habit loop—trigger, behavior, reward—is c ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
The misconceptions and mistakes people make in trying to change their habits
Additional Materials
Clarifications
- Hacking habits using scientific knowledge involves leveraging research-backed strategies and insights from behavioral science to effectively change behavior patterns. This approach focuses on understanding the psychological and neurological mechanisms behind habits to implement targeted interventions for habit formation or modification. By applying scientific principles, individuals can optimize their efforts to create lasting behavioral changes and overcome common pitfalls in habit transformation. It emphasizes a systematic and evidence-based approach to habit formation, moving beyond surface-level advice to address the root causes of behavior patterns.
- The neurological process that drives habit formation involves the creation and strengthening of neural pathways in the brain. When a behavior is repeated, it triggers a reward response, leading to the release of neurotransmitters like [restricted term]. Over time, these neural connections become more efficient, making the behavior more automatic and ingrained. Understanding this process helps in consciously reshaping habits by rewiring these neural pathways through consistent repetition and reinforcement.
- The habit loop, as described by experts like Mel Robbins, consists of three key components: the trigger, the behavior, and the reward. The trigger is the cue that prompts a habit to start, the behavior is the action or routine that follows the trigger, and the reward is the positive reinforcement ...
Counterarguments
- While Robbins emphasizes the importance of systems over discipline, one could argue that discipline is still a critical component in maintaining those systems, especially when facing unexpected challenges or when motivation wanes.
- The range of 18 to 254 days to form a habit is quite broad, suggesting that there may be more nuance to habit formation than the study captures, including individual differences and the complexity of the habit in question.
- Some experts might argue that while understanding triggers and rewards is important, the simplicity of the habit loop model may not fully capture the complexity of human behavior and the influence of environment, emotions, and other cognitive processes.
- The idea that willpower is ineffective may be too absolute, as there is evidence suggesting that willpower can be a significant factor in the short-term initiation of behavior change, even if it is not sustainable in the long term without habit formation.
- The ...
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The three key components of habit formation (trigger, behavior, reward)
Mel Robbins engages with the concept of habit formation and recognizes it as a loop consisting of a trigger that initiates the behavior, the behavior itself, and a reward that reinforces the behavior. Understanding and manipulating these three elements is central for successfully building new habits or breaking old ones.
Habits are driven by a three-part loop: a trigger that initiates the behavior, the behavior itself, and a reward that reinforces the behavior.
Robbins emphasizes that every habit consists of three parts: a trigger, the behavior pattern, and a reward. She argues that the resistance to doing a behavior is gone once a habit is hardwired into the subconscious brain. Robbins discusses the nature of habits as patterns of behavior that are triggered by certain cues and result in a rewarding sensation.
Triggers can be external (time of day, location, preceding actions) or internal (emotions, thoughts).
Identifying specific triggers leading to unwanted habits is crucial in changing those habits. Robbins speaks about utilizing "simple science of habits," which involves identifying these triggers to instill new behaviors. She identifies five major triggers: time of day, other people, emotional state, place, and preceding actions, such as getting a notification on one’s phone. Negative emotions, like feeling tired or scared, are mentioned as internal triggers that initiate coping mechanisms.
The behavior itself is the core of the habit.
Robbins describes the behavior as the action that follows the trigger, whether it be reaching for a glass of wine at the end of the day, biting nails when anxious, or exercising in the morning. She details her own experience with behavior change by setting out exercise clothes and setting an alarm as cues to facilitate her morning workout routine.
The reward associated with a habit is what encodes the behavior pattern in the brain and makes it automatic.
Robbins points out that finding the right reward is key to making new habits stick. For her, the thought of getting a burrito while exercising became the reward that encoded the behavior to exercise. She highlights the significance of rewards in habit formation, ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
The three key components of habit formation (trigger, behavior, reward)
Additional Materials
Clarifications
- Habit formation as a loop with trigger, behavior, and reward is a psychological model that explains how habits are created and maintained. A trigger cues the brain to initiate a behavior, which is followed by a reward that reinforces the behavior. This loop is a fundamental process in habit formation, where repetition strengthens the connections in the brain associated with the habit. Understanding and manipulating these components can help in establishing new habits or breaking existing ones.
- When a habit becomes hardwired in the subconscious brain, it means that the behavior has become automatic and requires less conscious effort to perform. This automation occurs through repeated actions that create neural pathways, making the behavior more ingrained and less resistant to change. Essentially, the subconscious mind takes over the behavior without the need for conscious decision-making, reducing the mental effort needed to carry out the habit. This process is why established habits can feel effortless and occur almost instinctively.
- Triggers in habit formation can be external (like time of day or location) or internal (such as emotions or thoughts). External triggers are cues from the environment that prompt a behavior, while internal triggers are feelings or mental states that lead to certain actions. Understanding these triggers helps in identifying patterns and making changes to habits effectively. By recognizing and addressing both external and internal triggers, individuals can better manage their habits and work towards positive behavior changes.
- Negative emotions can act as internal triggers for habits by prompting certain behaviors as coping mechanisms. For example, feeling tired might trigger the habit of reaching for a sugary snack for a quick energy boost. Understanding these internal triggers is crucial in breaking unwanted habits and replacing them with healthier alternatives. By recognizing how emotion ...
Counterarguments
- While the trigger-behavior-reward loop is a popular model, some psychologists argue that habit formation can be more complex, involving additional factors such as beliefs, identity, and social environment.
- The emphasis on triggers might oversimplify the process, as habits can also form in the absence of a clear trigger or through the gradual build-up of behaviors over time without a specific cue.
- The model suggests that the behavior is the core of a habit, but some argue that the intention behind the behavior and the mindset of the individual are equally important.
- The idea that a reward encodes the behavior pattern in the brain might be too reductionist, as not all habits are maintained by a tangible reward; some are sustained by intrinsic motivation or a sense of accomplishment.
- The effectiveness of rewards can vary greatly between individuals, and what works as a reward for one person may not be effective for another, suggesting that personalization is key.
- The release of [restricted term] is not the only neurochemical process involved in habit formation; other neurotransmitters and brain structures play a role, indicating a more complex neurological process.
- The concept of manipulating habits may not address deeper psycholog ...
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Strategies for creating new positive habits by hacking the habit loop
Robbins explains that successfully creating new, positive habits isn't about willpower; it's about understanding and strategically managing the habit loop of triggers, routines, and rewards to ensure lasting change.
Breaking an unwanted habit involves replacing the behavior, rather than relying on willpower alone.
Substituting a new, more positive behavior that still provides the desired reward can help overcome the resistance to change.
Robbins intends to break her drinking habit not by eliminating the practice altogether but by substituting making alcoholic drinks with creating non-alcoholic mocktails, which allows her to maintain the reward of unwinding at the end of the day. This replacement strategy allows patterns to persist while changing the content—forging a new, healthier habit without the drawback of the old one.
Pairing new habits with immediate, rewarding experiences helps reinforce the behavior and make it automatic.
Identifying intrinsically motivating rewards, such as social connection or personal satisfaction, can be more effective than relying on extrinsic rewards.
To make a new habit automatic, Robbins pairs it with rewarding experiences. For her, the direct, intrinsic reward came from a desirable breakfast burrito that motivated her to wake up early. She asserts that to hack the habit loop effectively, one must pinpoint an immediate and personally meaningful reward that makes the effort worthwhile and strengthens the new habit formation.
Incorporating habit-forming strategies, such as triggers, routines, and rewards, into a personalized system can make new behaviors easier to adopt and sustain.
Customizing habit-building approaches to individual preferences and goals increases the likelihood of successfully integrating new habits into one's daily life.
Robbins suggests that creating simple systems that facilitate behavior change is integral to turning a new habit into routine ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Strategies for creating new positive habits by hacking the habit loop
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While understanding the habit loop is beneficial, it may oversimplify the complexity of human behavior and the psychological factors that contribute to habit formation.
- Replacing a behavior rather than relying on willpower might not address the underlying causes of the unwanted habit, potentially leading to the substitution of one negative habit for another.
- Immediate rewards can be effective, but they may also foster a dependence on instant gratification, which could be detrimental in the long term.
- Intrinsic motivation is generally more sustainable than extrinsic rewards, but in some cases, extrinsic rewards can be a powerful motivator, especially in the initial stages of habit formation.
- Customizing habit-building approaches is ideal, but it may not always be practical for individuals with limited resources, time, or knowledge about how to effectively personalize their habit formation process.
- Simple systems are helpful, but what is simple for one person may be complex for another, and oversimplification can sometimes ignore the nuances of personal behavior and environmental factors.
- The idea that replacing an undesired behavior with a positive one can be too prescriptive a ...
Actionables
- You can use a habit tracking app with a built-in reward system to log your daily progress and earn virtual badges for consistency, which taps into the intrinsic reward of achievement.
- By tracking your habits with an app that gamifies the experience, you create a visual representation of your progress. For example, after completing a week of morning runs, the app could unlock a new badge or level, providing a sense of accomplishment that fuels your motivation to continue.
- Develop a 'habit swap' card deck to play a daily random draw that suggests a positive behavior to replace a negative one, ensuring variety and spontaneity in your habit formation.
- Each card in the deck describes a negative habit on one side and a list of potential positive substitutes on the other. When you feel the urge to engage in the negative habit, draw a card and perform one of the positive actions instead. This could range from doing a quick set of exercises when you want to snack on junk food to writing a gratitude note when feeling the urge to complain.
- Organize a small accountability group with friends or family where you shar ...
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