9 Small Things That Will Make a Surprisingly Big Difference
On The Mel Robbins Podcast, Robbins explores small but impactful changes to enrich daily life. The episode discusses cultivating a mindset focused on growth and self-belief, rather than limiting beliefs that restrict progress.
Robbins also provides practical tips for optimizing lifestyle habits like sleep, light exposure, and incorporating brief walks into one's routine. Other suggestions cover enhancing communication through active listening, eye contact, and positive body language. Finally, she provides strategies for increasing productivity and organization, such as developing habits to prevent clutter and applying a "cooling off" period for non-essential purchases.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Sep 23, 2024 episode of the The Mel Robbins Podcast
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1-Page Summary
Mindset and self-belief
Mel Robbins emphasizes the power of mindset, citing her grandmother's saying: "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right." This phrase encapsulates how self-belief determines outcomes - a can-do mentality opens doors, while self-limiting beliefs hinder action and growth.
Reframing challenges as opportunities is key
Robbins advises against self-limiting beliefs, instead encouraging a focus on potential achievements to propel action. She gives the example of job seeking - those who believe they're capable will apply and network, making that belief a reality.
Lifestyle habits
Sleep quality through optimal sleep time
Robbins recommends spending 9 hours in bed each night, allowing time to fall asleep before hitting the 8-hour sleep target. This extra buffer promotes better quality rest.
Morning light exposure resets circadian rhythm
Following the "5, 10, 20" rule - 5 minutes of sunlight if sunny, 10 if cloudy, 20 if raining/indoors - can reset your body's daily sleep-wake cycle for improved sleep.
Brief walks boost well-being
Even short 10-minute walks provide mental clarity, stress relief, and creative spark. Robbins views walking as a solution for most problems by shifting your mindset.
Communication and relationships
Active listening fosters growth and connection
Consciously limiting talking to truly listen allows learning and strengthens relationships. Sometimes silence is powerful, signaling presence.
Eye contact shows engagement
Noticing someone's eye color helps maintain meaningful eye contact, conveying confidence and care.
Smiling can elevate your mood
Forcing a smile, like adjusting posture, can trigger positive emotions, even on tough days.
Productivity and organization
Put items back immediately
Developing the habit of returning things to their proper place right away prevents clutter buildup and saves time.
Implement a "cooling off" period
Waiting a week before non-essential purchases over $100 helps curb impulse spending on items you may not actually want or need.
1-Page Summary
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Counterarguments
- Self-belief is important, but outcomes are also influenced by external factors such as opportunity, resources, and timing, which self-belief alone cannot control.
- Reframing challenges as opportunities can be beneficial, but it's also important to acknowledge and address the real difficulties and obstacles they present.
- Spending 9 hours in bed might not be optimal for everyone; some people may require less sleep or have schedules that do not permit such a duration.
- Morning light exposure is generally beneficial, but the "5, 10, 20" rule may not be practical or sufficient for everyone, especially those with certain medical conditions or living in extreme latitudes.
- Brief walks are healthy, but they may not be a solution for all problems, particularly those that are complex or require more in-depth intervention.
- Active listening is crucial, but there are times when dialogue and exchange of ideas are necessary for growth and connection.
- Eye contact can show engagement, but cultural differences mean that it's not always appropriate or comfortable for everyone.
- Smiling can sometimes elevate mood, but it may not be effective for those experiencing serious mental health issues, and the notion of "forcing a smile" can be invalidating.
- Putting items back immediately is a good organizational practice, but flexibility is sometimes needed, and different organizational systems work better for different people.
- A "cooling off" period for purchases is a good strategy to avoid impulse buying, but it may not be necessary for individuals who have a strong sense of financial discipline or for urgent and necessary purchases.
Actionables
- You can create a "belief journal" to track and challenge your self-perceptions. Start by writing down a self-limiting belief each day, then counter it with evidence of past successes or skills that contradict this belief. For example, if you believe you're not good at public speaking, remind yourself of a time you successfully presented in a meeting or led a group discussion.
- Develop a "possibility mindset" by turning daily inconveniences into mini brainstorms for personal growth. When faced with a minor setback, like a delayed train, use that time to think of three new skills you'd like to learn or three ways you could improve a current project. This turns a frustrating wait into a productive planning session.
- To integrate mindfulness into clutter management, practice the "one-minute rule" where you take a minute to observe your surroundings before leaving any room and put away anything that's out of place. For instance, if you notice a book on the coffee table, take a moment to return it to the shelf. This habit not only keeps your space tidy but also encourages mindfulness and intentionality in your daily routine.
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Mindset and self-belief
Mel Robbins emphasizes the critical role that self-belief and mindset play in achieving success. She underlines the powerful outcome of a positive mindset with her grandmother's saying: "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right." Robbins suggests using this phrase as a mantra to highlight the profound impact our mindset has on our ability to take action and achieve desired outcomes.
Adopt a can-do mentality to open doors to opportunities
"Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right" - this simple saying encapsulates the power of mindset in determining outcomes
“Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right,” Robbins recalls her grandmother’s saying, which encapsulates the idea that our mindset can significantly determine our outcomes in life. By fostering a can-do mentality, individuals are more likely to take the necessary steps toward reaching their goals and seizing life's opportunities.
Reframe challenges as opportunities for growth
Avoiding self-limiting beliefs and instead focusing on what you can achieve will drive you to take action and improve
Robbins advises against adopting a self-limiting belief system. Instead, she encourages focusing on potential achievements, which propels individuals into action and on a path of improvement and growth. She gives an example of t ...
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Mindset and self-belief
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Counterarguments
- While self-belief is important, overconfidence can lead to unrealistic expectations and potential failure.
- A positive mindset alone is not sufficient for success; it must be coupled with hard work, planning, and sometimes, a bit of luck.
- Some opportunities may not open up simply due to a can-do mentality; external factors such as socioeconomic status, education, and networking can play a significant role.
- Reframing challenges as opportunities is beneficial, but it's also important to recognize and address the real obstacles they present.
- Focusing solely on what you can achieve might lead to missed learning experiences from understanding one's limitations.
- Avoiding self-limiting beliefs is good advice, but it's also crucial to have a realistic self-assessment to avoid pursuing unattainable goals.
- Believing in one's capabilities is important, but without ...
Actionables
- Start a "Mindset Shift Journal" where you write down one limiting belief each day and then challenge it with three pieces of evidence or past experiences that prove this belief wrong. This practice helps you to actively engage with your self-limiting beliefs and transform them into empowering ones by using your own life as proof of your capabilities.
- Create a "Can-Do" action plan for a small goal you've hesitated to pursue. Break the goal into micro-steps and assign a tiny action you can complete daily. By seeing progress through small, manageable actions, you reinforce your belief in your ability to achieve and open yourself up to new opportunities.
- Develop a "Challenge Reframe" habit by identifying one situa ...
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Lifestyle habits
Mel Robbins discusses four simple yet effective lifestyle habits that can enhance well-being, improve sleep, and increase productivity.
Prioritize quality sleep for optimal rest and recovery
Robbins suggests that aiming to spend nine hours in bed each night can lead to better sleep quality. This accounts for the time it takes to fall asleep and provides a buffer that could mean waking up earlier if you fall asleep quickly.
Spending 9 hours in bed each night, rather than just targeting 8 hours of sleep, accounts for the time it takes to fall asleep
Robbins emphasizes the importance of spending nine hours in bed if you're targeting eight hours of sleep. This extra hour accounts for the time it takes to drift off and ensures that actual sleep time is closer to the eight-hour goal.
Strategically expose yourself to morning light for better sleep
Robbins introduces the five, 10, 20 rule as a simple way to get the right amount of sunlight exposure each morning, which can reset your circadian rhythm and lead to improved sleep quality at night.
Expose your eyes to 5-20 minutes of sunlight each morning, with the duration adjusted based on weather conditions, to reset your circadian rhythm
According to Robbins, exposure to UV light first thing in the morning is crucial. You should aim for five minutes of sunlight if it's sunny, ten if it's cloudy, and twenty if it's raining or you're sitting by a window. This simple practice can help reset your circadian rhythm.
Leverage the benefits of a short walk
Robbins asserts that taking a brief walk can provide a var ...
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Lifestyle habits
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- Spending 9 hours in bed each night may not be feasible for everyone due to personal schedules, work demands, or family responsibilities. Some individuals may find that a strict sleep schedule or sleep hygiene practices are more effective for improving sleep quality than simply increasing time in bed.
- The recommendation to expose your eyes to sunlight for 5-20 minutes each morning may not take into account individuals living in extreme northern or southern latitudes where sunlight exposure can be very limited during certain seasons. Additionally, for some people with sensitive skin or eyes, direct sunlight exposure may not be advisable without proper protection.
- While taking a brief walk can indeed provide clarity and reduce stress for many people, it may not be a universal solu ...
Actionables
- You can create a bedtime ritual that includes winding down activities for an hour before your intended sleep time to ensure you're in bed for 9 hours. Start by setting a consistent bedtime and then fill the hour before with relaxing activities like reading, listening to calm music, or doing gentle stretches. This can help signal to your body that it's time to wind down, making it easier to fall asleep once you're in bed.
- Incorporate morning sunlight exposure into your daily routine by having your breakfast outside or near a window with direct sunlight. If you're short on time, consider moving your morning coffee or tea ritual to a sunny spot. This can help you get the recommended sunlight exposure without having to carve out additional time from your schedule.
- Turn your daily walks into brainstormi ...
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Communication and relationships
Effective communication is foundational to deepening personal connections and fostering personal growth. Mel Robbins shares insights on the importance of active listening, meaningful eye contact, and the power of a smile to enhance the quality of both personal and professional relationships.
Practice active listening to enhance personal growth and connection
Consciously limiting your own talking and instead focusing on listening allows you to learn and build stronger relationships
Robbins discusses the transformative power of active listening, both for personal development and for strengthening relationships. She shares that real growth and learning occur when one listens, noting that not every conversation requires a response. Robbins suggests that sometimes choosing silence can be more powerful, signaling control and contributing to maintaining peace. She emphasizes, "Protect your peace. Hold on to your power. If you want to learn, you got to be listening. Stop talking."
A friend of hers, who felt stagnant in their motivational speaking career, decided to listen more and talk less. This friend chose to sit in the audience at least ten times a year to absorb information, highlighting the value of receiving input. Similarly, Robbins realized her life had been overly focused on output and that she needed more input—listening—to grow. She further clarifies the importance of making time each week for listening and learning through various means, like attending events or taking courses, to foster continued personal growth.
Make eye contact to demonstrate confidence and engagement
Noticing the color of someone's eyes helps maintain meaningful eye contact, which conveys presence and care
Robbins shares a practical tip for improving non-verbal communication: noticing the color of a person's eyes to maintain eye contact. She explains that this simple act not only trains you to be better at making eye contact but also allows you to appreciate a unique aspect of the individual, potentially leading to compliments that can deepen the connection. Robbins emphasizes that holding eye cont ...
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Communication and relationships
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Counterarguments
- Active listening, while important, can sometimes be insufficient if it doesn't lead to action or change; it's also crucial to know when to speak up and contribute to the conversation.
- Silence can be powerful, but in some contexts, it may be misinterpreted as disinterest or lack of engagement.
- Listening is key for learning, but it must be balanced with critical thinking and questioning to fully understand and integrate new information.
- Sitting in the audience is valuable, but active participation and engagement can sometimes lead to deeper insights and learning.
- Allocating time for listening and learning is beneficial, but it's also important to ensure that this doesn't lead to information overload or passive consumption without reflection.
- Making eye contact is generally a sign of confidence, but cultural differences can affect how eye contact is perceived; in some cultures, too much eye contact can be seen as disrespectful or aggressive.
- Noticing the color of someone's eyes to maintain eye contact could be seen as too intimate or uncomfortable in professional settings.
- While holding eye contact can demonstrate active listening, overemphasis on eye con ...
Actionables
- Create a "listening journal" to track your active listening progress by noting down key points from conversations and reflecting on them later. This practice will help you become more aware of the information you absorb and how it contributes to your personal growth. For example, after a discussion with a friend, jot down the main ideas they shared and any new insights you gained, then revisit these notes at the end of the week to see how they have influenced your thoughts or actions.
- Develop a habit of "silent moments" during your daily interactions by consciously deciding not to speak for a short period when you would usually jump in. Use this time to observe the other person's non-verbal cues and think about what they're saying on a deeper level. For instance, in a meeting, resist the urge to immediately respond to a comment; instead, pause, reflect, and then provide a thoughtful reply.
- Start a "smile challenge" wi ...
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Productivity and organization
Productivity and organization are essential for an orderly and efficient life. Robbins shares insights on how to maintain both through simple, effective habits.
Put items back in their proper place immediately
Developing the habit of quickly returning things to where they belong prevents clutter and saves time
Robbins is a strong advocate for immediately returning items to their rightful place. She has integrated this habit into her daily routine, resulting in less clutter around her home. After a taping, she quickly put away objects left out, preventing potential clutter from building up. This immediate action saves time in the long run and eliminates the need to handle items multiple times.
Robbins recounts a specific incident where she found a shirt on her bed, used as an eye mask, and instead of merely moving it, she took the time to fold it and put it away properly. She emphasizes that this small change has made her more organized and reduces clutter. Robbins suggests that by always putting things back where they belong, we can maintain better organization in our spaces.
Wait a week before making non-essential purchases
Allowing a cooling-off period before buying something you want but don't need can prevent impulse spending
Robbins discusses the importance of waiting a week before making non-essential purchases, framing it as a "cooling off period" that allows for better control over impulse spending ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Productivity and organization
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While putting items back immediately can prevent clutter, it may not be practical for everyone, especially those with demanding schedules or physical limitations.
- The habit of returning things promptly assumes that one has a designated place for every item, which may not be the case in more dynamic or shared living and working spaces.
- Immediate organization can sometimes lead to inefficiency, as it might interrupt the flow of work or creativity, suggesting that a scheduled clean-up might be more effective for some people.
- Waiting a week to make non-essential purchases could lead to missed opportunities, such as limited-time sales, which might make financial sense for items one is certain to need or use.
- The cooling-off period might not be necessary for individuals who have a strong sense of self-control and financial management, and it could slow down the decision-making process unnecessarily.
- The advice to wait before purchasing may not apply to all economic situations; for example, in times of inflation, waiti ...
Actionables
- You can create a visual reminder system by labeling shelves and drawers with pictures or icons representing the items that belong there. This can make it easier to remember where things go, especially for items you use frequently. For example, place a sticker of a book on the bookshelf area where novels should be returned, or a drawing of scissors on the drawer where they're stored.
- Try setting up a "consideration board" in your home where you pin or write down items you're thinking of purchasing. This board serves as a physical representation of your cooling-off period. Each time you think of buying something, add it to the board. After a week, review the items and decide if they're still important to you. This can help you visualize and prioritize your potential purchases.
- Implement a "one in, ...
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