Podcasts > The Mel Robbins Podcast > 8 Small Habits That Will Change Your Life: The Best Expert Advice I’m Using This Year

8 Small Habits That Will Change Your Life: The Best Expert Advice I’m Using This Year

By Stitcher

Embark on a transformative journey with "The Mel Robbins Podcast," where host Mel Robbins teams up with experts such as immunologist Dr. Amy Shaw, Dr. Russell Kennedy, and entrepreneur Jamie Kern Lima to uncover life-changing habits. In the revealing discussion, Robbins, drawing from Shaw's insights, explores the underestimated benefits of morning rituals, from delaying caffeine intake to embracing the first light of day. As Robbins integrates these habits into her own life, she witnesses a remarkable elevation in her overall focus, mood, and energy levels.

Addressing deeper psychological themes, Mel Robbins, alongside emotional healing advocate Dr. Russell Kennedy, reframes the experience of rejection as an opportunity for protection and self-direction. They delve into chronic anxiety as a signal of disconnect from self-love, often rooted in unresolved trauma. Meanwhile, Robbins and Lima share powerful anecdotes on shifting from self-doubt to self-trust, underlining the courage it takes to trust your intuition against the tide of external criticism. Together, they guide you through embracing your inner voice, offering tools like specialized workbooks to solidify the journey towards unwavering self-belief.

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8 Small Habits That Will Change Your Life: The Best Expert Advice I’m Using This Year

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8 Small Habits That Will Change Your Life: The Best Expert Advice I’m Using This Year

1-Page Summary

Importance of morning sunlight exposure and not drinking caffeine first thing

Mel Robbins, following the advice of immunologist Dr. Amy Shaw, stresses the profound impact of morning routines on mood and health. She has personally benefited from delaying her coffee intake, noting increased focus and energy and a significant reduction in her craving for caffeine.

Robbins underscores the importance of clearing adenosine, a sleepiness-inducing chemical in the brain, naturally through delay in morning caffeine consumption. This waiting period, approximately 30 to 40 minutes after waking, helps maintain higher energy levels throughout the day by allowing adenosine to dissipate on its own.

Robbins also reiterates the benefits of morning sunlight exposure as recommended by Dr. Shaw, coining the rule "sky before screens." She advocates for outdoor light exposure directly after waking up to help kickstart the day, enhancing mood and energy levels.

Reframing rejection as protection and redirection from what's not meant for you

Mel Robbins presents rejection as a form of protection and redirection, suggesting it can steer us away from what's not in our best interest.

Anxiety, according to Dr. Russell Kennedy, is an alarm indicating a disconnect from oneself and love, often arising from unresolved childhood trauma. This detachment causes chronic anxiety and is the result of untreated emotional wounds rather than just errant thoughts.

Kennedy elaborates on the healing process for anxiety, focusing on the removal of self-imposed barriers to self-love. Mel Robbins reflects on this view, recognizing anxiety as a sign to reconnect with oneself, others, and reclaim personal power. By dismantling these barriers, one can address the root cause of anxiety and embark on a path to emotional well-being.

Transforming self-doubt into trusting your inner knowing rather than outside opinions

Mel Robbins and Jamie Kern Lima highlight the journey from self-doubt to self-trust by emphasizing adherence to one’s own intuition over external critics.

Jamie Kern Lima shares her experience of moving from being a waitress to the founder of It Cosmetics, stressing the importance of trusting her gut despite rejection and negative feedback based on her appearance and weight.

Mel Robbins champions trusting one's self-worth despite external rejections and offers resources, such as a specialized workbook, to help individuals navigate their desires and strengthen self-belief. Both Robbins and Lima urge an unwavering trust in one's innate knowledge and worth, encouraging listeners to prioritize their internal compass over the sometimes misaligned external judgments.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Adenosine is a neurotransmitter that plays a role in promoting sleep and relaxation in the brain. It accumulates in the brain throughout the day, leading to feelings of drowsiness and the need for sleep. Caffeine works by blocking adenosine receptors, which helps in promoting wakefulness and alertness. Allowing adenosine levels to naturally decrease by delaying caffeine intake in the morning can help regulate energy levels and improve focus.
  • Morning sunlight exposure can influence mood and energy levels by helping regulate the body's internal clock, known as the circadian rhythm. Sunlight exposure in the morning can suppress the production of melatonin, the hormone that makes you sleepy, and increase the production of serotonin, a neurotransmitter linked to mood regulation. This exposure to natural light early in the day can signal to your body that it's time to be awake and alert, which can lead to improved mood and energy levels throughout the day. Additionally, morning sunlight exposure is essential for the body to produce vitamin D, which plays a crucial role in various bodily functions, including mood regulation.
  • Reframing rejection as protection and redirection involves seeing rejection as a way to steer individuals away from paths that may not align with their best interests, ultimately guiding them towards more suitable opportunities or paths in life. It encourages viewing rejection not as a failure but as a form of guidance that can lead to personal growth and better outcomes. This mindset shift helps individuals cope with setbacks more positively and empowers them to see rejection as a means of protection from potentially unfavorable situations. By embracing rejection in this light, individuals can learn valuable lessons, make necessary adjustments, and move forward with resilience and determination.
  • Anxiety can be a signal of a deeper issue, indicating a disconnection from oneself and self-love. This disconnect often stems from unresolved emotional wounds, leading to chronic anxiety. Addressing these emotional wounds and barriers to self-love can help in managing anxiety and promoting emotional well-being.
  • Jamie Kern Lima is the co-founder of It Cosmetics, a makeup brand known for its inclusive range of products. She started the company after facing challenges in the beauty industry due to her appearance and weight. Lima's journey from being a waitress to a successful entrepreneur with It Cosmetics showcases her resilience and determination in overcoming obstacles to create a brand focused on empowering all individuals through makeup.

Counterarguments

  • Delaying caffeine intake may not be beneficial for everyone, as individual responses to caffeine can vary greatly, and some people may experience optimal focus and energy with their usual routine.
  • The recommendation to avoid screens and seek morning sunlight may not be practical for individuals living in regions with limited daylight hours or for those with early work schedules that necessitate screen use.
  • The concept of rejection as protection and redirection is a positive reframing technique, but it may not always apply, as some rejections could be due to factors that an individual may need to address or improve upon.
  • While anxiety can be a sign of a disconnect from oneself, it is also a complex condition that can have multiple causes, including biological factors, and may require a multifaceted treatment approach beyond self-love and reconnection.
  • Trusting one's inner knowing is valuable, but it should be balanced with consideration of external feedback, which can sometimes provide important insights and opportunities for growth.
  • The journey from self-doubt to self-trust is not always linear, and individuals may need to seek professional guidance or support to navigate this process effectively.
  • The idea that one should always prioritize their internal compass can be problematic if it leads to ignoring valid criticism or advice that could be beneficial.

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8 Small Habits That Will Change Your Life: The Best Expert Advice I’m Using This Year

Importance of morning sunlight exposure and not drinking caffeine first thing

Mel Robbins shares insights from Dr. Amy Shaw, a renowned immunologist, on how morning routines, particularly around sunlight exposure and caffeine intake, can significantly impact one’s mood and physical health.

Daily routine impacts mood and body

Robbins recounts that her old habit of drinking coffee immediately after waking has been replaced by waiting an hour before having caffeine, attributing this healthful change to Dr. Shaw's advice.

Robbins has noticed that delaying her morning coffee has not only improved her focus and energy levels throughout the day but also reduced her coffee craving from four cups to just one. She also implemented Dr. Shaw's recommendation of exposing herself to natural light first thing in the morning, which positively affected her mood and energy.

Let adenosine clear out naturally before having coffee

The biological influence of adenosine on sleepiness and alertness plays a role in Robbins's decision to postpone her caffeine intake. Dr. Shaw explains that upon waking, grogginess is often due to adenosine in the brain, which naturally decreases within 30 to 40 minutes. Since drinking coffee blocks the adenosine receptor and prevents it from clearing out, waiting until the adenosine has naturally dissipated is a strategy to maintain sustained energy levels throughout the day and minimize tiredness after caffeine effects wear off.

Robbins refers to this as a "little adenosine thing," an approach that allows the body to w ...

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Importance of morning sunlight exposure and not drinking caffeine first thing

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Adenosine is a natural compound in the brain that accumulates during wakefulness and contributes to the feeling of sleepiness. It binds to specific receptors, promoting relaxation and drowsiness. Caffeine works by blocking these adenosine receptors, which helps in promoting alertness and reducing the sensation of tiredness. By understanding how adenosine affects our sleep-wake cycle, we can better appreciate the impact of caffeine consumption on our alertness and energy levels.
  • When you drink coffee, the caffeine in it competes with adenosine to bind to its receptors in the brain. Adenosine is a ne ...

Counterarguments

  • While delaying caffeine intake may improve focus and energy for some, individual responses to caffeine can vary, and some people may not experience significant changes in their focus or energy levels.
  • Reducing coffee cravings by delaying caffeine intake might not be effective for everyone, as cravings can be influenced by a variety of factors, including habit, addiction, and individual metabolism.
  • The positive effects of morning sunlight on mood and energy levels may not be as pronounced for individuals living in regions with limited sunlight during certain seasons, such as those experiencing polar nights or extreme weather conditions.
  • The strategy of allowing adenosine to clear out naturally before consuming caffeine may not be practical for individuals with early morning commitments or those who feel they need caffeine to start their day effectively.
  • The recommendation to wait for adenosine to dissipate before having coffee assumes a consistent sleep pattern and may not account for variations in sleep quality or duration that could affect adenosine levels.
  • The importance of getting morning sunlight exposure may be challenging for individuals with a night shift work schedule or those who have med ...

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8 Small Habits That Will Change Your Life: The Best Expert Advice I’m Using This Year

Reframing rejection as protection and redirection from what's not meant for you

Rejection often strikes a harsh blow, but Mel Robbins introduces the notion that rejection is not just a painful end but a protective measure and a form of redirection.

Anxiety is an alarm signaling you feel separate from yourself and love

Dr. Russell Kennedy and other experts dive deeper, depicting anxiety as more than surface-level nerves.

Anxiety comes from unresolved trauma causing a split from self

Kennedy describes anxiety as an alarm of the body originating from old, unresolved wounds. These past traumas cause a severance from one’s sense of self and manifest as chronic anxiety. He explains that as children, when faced with abuse, neglect, or abandonment, individuals begin to harbor self-blame and self-alienation rather than ceasing to love their caretakers, which begins a lifelong split within themselves.

These unresolved issues from childhood persist in the body and mind, often treated ineffectively as a thought-based problem rather than a feeling-based process, which it truly is.

Healing anxiety by removing blocks to self-love

Kennedy shares that traumas in childhood impact the nervous system less when one has a secure attachment and supportive family. But when trauma remains unresolved, it changes the nervous system and traps it in an anxiety-alarm cycle.

Kennedy, drawing from personal experience, discusses how self-blame and the separation from love that often occurs as a child can spill over into all relationships, as it's too painful to block love from a parent without also blocking ...

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Reframing rejection as protection and redirection from what's not meant for you

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Reframing rejection as protection and redirection involves viewing rejection not as a failure but as a way to steer you towards paths better suited for your growth and well-being. It suggests that what may seem like a setback could actually be a form of guidance, shielding you from situations or relationships that are not aligned with your best interests. This perspective encourages seeing rejection as a form of cosmic intervention, guiding you towards opportunities that are more in line with your true path and purpose. By embracing this mindset, individuals can transform the pain of rejection into a positive force for self-discovery and personal development.
  • Anxiety can be seen as a signal that there is a disconnection from oneself and feelings of love. This perspective suggests that unresolved past traumas can lead to a split within oneself, causing chronic anxiety. The idea is that when individuals experience trauma in childhood, it can impact their ability to feel connected to themselves and others, leading to feelings of anxiety. By recognizing anxiety as an alarm for this disconnection, it highlights the importance of addressing and healing these underlying emotional wounds to restore a sense of self-love and connection.
  • Anxiety stemming from unresolved trauma causing a split from self suggests that past experiences, especially from childhood, can create emotional wounds that lead to a disconnection from one's true self. This disconnection can manifest as chronic anxiety, as the unresolved trauma continues to impact one's sense of identity and well-being. The split from self can result from experiences like abuse, neglect, or abandonment, leading to self-blame and a sense of alienation from one's authentic self. Healing from anxiety often involves addressing these unresolved traumas and rebuilding a connection with oneself through self-love and acceptance.
  • Healing anxiety by removing blocks to self-love involves addressing past traumas that have led to feelings of self-blame and self-alienation. These unresolved issues can create barriers ag ...

Counterarguments

  • Rejection might not always serve as protection or redirection; sometimes it can simply be a result of mismatched expectations or circumstances.
  • Anxiety can also be influenced by biological factors, such as genetics or chemical imbalances, not solely a disconnection from oneself and love.
  • While unresolved trauma can contribute to anxiety, not all anxiety is rooted in trauma; it can also arise from stress, lifestyle, or other psychological conditions.
  • Anxiety can be both a thought-based and feeling-based problem, and effective treatment may require addressing cognitive patterns as well as emotional processes.
  • The concept of self-love is complex and culturally variable, and the path to healing anxiety may not be universally achieved through the removal of blocks to self-love.
  • Childhood trauma's impact on the nervous system is significant, but it's important to acknowledge that people can also develop anxiety disorders without a history of trauma.
  • The idea that self-blame and separation from love in childhood affects all relationships may not account for the resilience and diverse coping mechanisms individuals can develop.
  • Recognizing anxiety as an alarm is a useful metaphor ...

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8 Small Habits That Will Change Your Life: The Best Expert Advice I’m Using This Year

Transforming self-doubt into trusting your inner knowing rather than outside opinions

Mel Robbins and Jamie Kern Lima discuss how overcoming self-doubt and external negativity is about adhering to one's own inner truth and intuitive knowledge, rather than succumbing to outside opinions and rejections.

Believing in your dreams and inner truth

Rejection gives a "no" but your gut gives a "knowing"

Jamie Kern Lima shares her inspirational journey, detailing her transition from a Denny's waitress to the founder of It Cosmetics. Her story highlights the significance of fiercely believing in oneself and one's visions, even when faced with rejections and significant financial hurdles. She recounts a pivotal moment of painful rejection she received from a potential investor, who cited her appearance and weight as reasons why women wouldn't buy her makeup. Despite his "no," Lima describes a compelling sense of internal "knowing" that his assertion was incorrect.

Trusting your worth despite others' doubts or rejections

Mel Robbins reinforces Lima's sentiment on the essentiality of trusting one's worth despite the doubts and rejections from others. Robbins expresses her belief in the listener's cap ...

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Transforming self-doubt into trusting your inner knowing rather than outside opinions

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Mel Robbins is a motivational speaker and author known for her "5 Second Rule" technique to overcome self-doubt. Jamie Kern Lima is the founder of It Cosmetics, a makeup brand that gained popularity for its inclusive products. Both women have shared their personal stories of overcoming challenges and believing in themselves to achieve success.
  • A Denny's waitress is an individual who works as a server at a Denny's restaurant, a popular American diner-style chain known for its 24-hour service and menu offering breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Denny's waitresses take orders, serve food and beverages, and ensure customers have a pleasant dining experience at the restaurant. Working as a Denny's waitress involves interacting with customers, managing multiple tables, and collaborating with kitchen staff to deliver meals promptly and accurately. The role of a Denny's waitress requires strong communication skills, multitasking abilities, and a customer-focused approach to service.
  • A specialized workbook is a structured tool designed to help individuals engage in self-reflection, goal-setting, and personal development. It typically contains exercises, prompts, and activities aimed at guiding users through a process of introspection and growth. Workbooks like these are commonly used in coaching, therapy, and self-help contexts to support individuals in gaining clarity, setting goals, and taking actionable steps towards ...

Counterarguments

  • Trusting your inner knowing over outside opinions can sometimes lead to confirmation bias, where one might ignore valuable external feedback that could lead to personal or professional growth.
  • Believing in dreams and inner truth is important, but it should be balanced with practical considerations and the feasibility of achieving those dreams.
  • While gut feelings can be powerful, they are not always accurate predictors of success; data-driven decisions and external advice can also be critical components of successful outcomes.
  • Trusting your worth is essential, but it should not prevent one from self-reflection and acknowledging areas where improvement is needed.
  • Fierce belief in oneself is valuable, but overconfidence can sometimes lead to overlooking potential pitfalls or underestimating challenges.
  • Internal "knowing" may sometimes be based on emotions rather than facts, and it's important to distinguish between intuition and wishful thinking.
  • Leading a fulfilling life by trusting internal knowledge is a noble goal, but fulfillment can also come from coll ...

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