Podcasts > Pursuit of Wellness > Life Update: Girls’ Trip, Valentine’s in Aspen, & The IVF Waiting Game

Life Update: Girls’ Trip, Valentine’s in Aspen, & The IVF Waiting Game

By Mari Llewellyn

On the Pursuit of Wellness podcast, Mari opens up about the significant mental and emotional toll that the IVF process has taken on her. She shares the strategies she employs, like mindfulness, spiritual practices, and seeking community, to maintain her mental well-being during this challenging time. Mari also touches on the strain IVF places on relationships and priorities, as well as her need to re-evaluate her intense dedication to biohacking and lifestyle optimization.

The episode offers an candid look at the struggles and realities of IVF from Mari's perspective, including the obsessive thoughts and anxiety she experiences leading up to embryo transfer. By sharing her journey openly, Mari hopes to enlighten others facing similar challenges and provide solace through her relatable experiences.

Life Update: Girls’ Trip, Valentine’s in Aspen, & The IVF Waiting Game

This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Feb 24, 2025 episode of the Pursuit of Wellness

Sign up for Shortform to access the whole episode summary along with additional materials like counterarguments and context.

Life Update: Girls’ Trip, Valentine’s in Aspen, & The IVF Waiting Game

1-Page Summary

Mari's Emotional and Lifestyle Toll From IVF

According to Mari, IVF is all-consuming and challenging, with constant emotional swings. Before embryo transfer, she experiences heightened anxiety and obsessive thoughts. The mental toll necessitates a slower lifestyle - Mari has forgone her high-energy routine in favor of a more focused pace. This shift has triggered guilt and an identity crisis for the once high-powered professional.

Mari's Strategies for Mental Health

Mari stresses maintaining daily wellness routines to feel grounded and prevent anxiety, like taking walks, hydrating, and preparing nutritious meals. She finds solace through spiritual practices like prayer, keeping a gratitude journal, socializing, reading fantasy novels, and spending time with animals.

Mindful of Not Overburdening Support System

Mari acknowledges the importance of not overburdening her support network, especially her husband Greg. While appreciating his comfort, she understands men may offer support differently for issues they can't fully relate to.

IVF Strains Relationships and Priorities

Conversations about friends' pregnancies are emotionally painful for Mari during IVF. The demands have forced her to re-evaluate priorities - she now focuses more on pregnancy topics versus her previous intense dedication to biohacking and extreme wellness.

Finding Community Through Shared IVF Experiences

Mari shares her journey on TikTok, finding camaraderie with others facing similar IVF challenges. Beyond social media, she leans on her therapist with personal IVF insight and friends who guide her through the emotional toll, framed through the "spoon theory" metaphor. Mari hopes her experiences can help enlighten and provide solace to others.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • Create a personalized relaxation playlist that combines various genres of music and natural sounds to help manage anxiety during high-stress periods. By curating a playlist that resonates with your emotional state, you can use it as a tool to achieve calmness during moments of heightened stress, such as waiting for important news or before significant events. For example, mix calming classical pieces with the sounds of a forest or ocean to create an immersive experience that can distract and soothe your mind.
  • Develop a mini-hobby kit that's portable and can be used during downtime or waiting periods to keep your hands and mind occupied. This could be a small sketchbook and pencils for drawing, a compact knitting kit, or a set of brain teaser puzzles. The act of focusing on a simple, repetitive task can help alleviate obsessive thoughts and provide a sense of accomplishment and normalcy in the midst of a challenging routine.
  • Start a virtual book club focused on uplifting or escapist literature to foster social connections and provide emotional support without the need for in-person meetings. Choose books that transport you to different worlds or inspire positive thinking, and use video conferencing tools to discuss them with friends or fellow enthusiasts. This can create a shared experience that not only offers an escape from daily stressors but also builds a community of support where members can discuss their feelings and experiences in a safe and understanding environment.

Get access to the context and additional materials

So you can understand the full picture and form your own opinion.
Get access for free
Life Update: Girls’ Trip, Valentine’s in Aspen, & The IVF Waiting Game

Mari's IVF Experience and Challenges

Mari shares the emotional toll and lifestyle changes that IVF has exacted on her life, from daily emotional swings to a fundamental shift in her daily routine and professional identity.

Mari's IVF Journey

Mari Finds the IVF Process Consuming and Difficult, With Daily Emotional Fluctuations

Mari is currently navigating her way through the demanding process of IVF. She describes her journey as all-consuming and challenging, marked by constant emotional upheavals that vacillate between positive optimism and overwhelming sadness. On some days she manages to maintain a semblance of hope, but there are also days when she finds herself in tears from dawn to dusk.

Anxiety and Obsessive Thoughts Challenge Mari Before Embryo Transfer

Mari’s experience leading up to the embryo transfer is fraught with anxiety and obsessive thoughts, adding to the preexisting emotional strain. The IVF process continues to influence her mentality, presenting a difficult obstacle before the critical step of the embryo transfer.

IVF Impacts Mari's Routine and Work Relationship

Mari's Slower, Focused Lifestyle Due to Reduced Mental Capacity

IVF has necessitated a slower-paced lifestyle for Mari, as she feels her mental capacity is no longer as robust as it once was. The demands of IVF have led her to forgo her previous high-energy morning routine, which included waking up at dawn and engaging in intense physical training, as well as her ...

Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary

Registered users get access to the Full Podcast Summary and Additional Materials. It’s easy and free!
Start your free trial today

Mari's IVF Experience and Challenges

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • Create a daily emotion tracker to monitor your feelings throughout challenging experiences. Use a simple notebook or digital app to record your emotions at different times of the day, noting what triggers shifts in mood. This can help you identify patterns and develop coping mechanisms for when you're feeling particularly hopeful or sad.
  • Establish a mindfulness routine to manage anxiety and obsessive thoughts. Dedicate a few minutes each day to practice mindfulness exercises such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or guided imagery. These techniques can help ground you in the present moment and reduce the intensity of anxiety.
  • Redefine your identity by exploring new ho ...

Get access to the context and additional materials

So you can understand the full picture and form your own opinion.
Get access for free
Life Update: Girls’ Trip, Valentine’s in Aspen, & The IVF Waiting Game

Managing Mental Health and Emotions In Tough Times

During challenging periods, Mari Llewellyn has developed a personal strategy to safeguard her mental health by adhering to daily routines and engaging in activities that offer solace and distraction.

Maintaining Wellness Routines Crucial for Mental Well-Being

Mari emphasizes the importance of consistent wellness routines in her life.

Routines Help Mari Feel Grounded and Prevent Anxiety

Mari understands that sticking to certain routines is essential for her mental well-being. She maintains specific non-negotiable wellness activities, even when traveling, to set herself up for a successful day. Her morning routine includes taking a walk upon waking up, hydrating with water that has electrolytes, taking colostrum, and preparing a nutritious breakfast to keep her mood stabilized. Additionally, Mari avoids too much alcohol and ensures she starts her day right to prevent slipping into anxiety.

Mari Llewellyn also identifies regular workouts as vital for her mental health, acknowledging that remaining sedentary, such as sitting on the couch all day, does not bode well for her well-being. She incorporates self-care practices such as face masks and finds solace by spending time around animals, including chickens, dogs, and a horse, which act as a lifesaver for her.

Mari Finds Solace In Spiritual Practices Like Prayer and a Gratitude Journal

Gratitude Helps Mari Counteract Focus on IVF Challenges

Mari's spiritual practices provide her with comfort and help her to maintain perspective amidst difficult times. She begins her day with prayer and gratitude, acknowledging the positive aspects of her life, such as her health, home, and husband. This practice of gratitude allows her to recognize that good things are occurring around her, d ...

Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary

Registered users get access to the Full Podcast Summary and Additional Materials. It’s easy and free!
Start your free trial today

Managing Mental Health and Emotions In Tough Times

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While routines can be grounding, they may also become restrictive and lead to additional stress if adhered to too rigidly, potentially reducing flexibility and adaptability.
  • Wellness routines are important, but they are not a one-size-fits-all solution; what works for Mari may not work for others, and individual needs and preferences should be considered.
  • Non-negotiable wellness activities can be beneficial, but it's also important to allow for spontaneity and changes in one's routine to accommodate life's unpredictable nature.
  • Regular workouts are generally beneficial for mental health, but over-exercising or not listening to one's body can lead to burnout or injury.
  • Self-care practices are subjective; while animals and face masks may be soothing for some, others may find different activities more beneficial for their well-being.
  • Spiritual practices can be a source of comfort, but they may not resonate with everyone, and some individuals may find other forms of reflection or min ...

Actionables

  • You can create a personalized "wellness menu" to choose from during stressful periods, ensuring you have a variety of self-care options tailored to your mood and needs. Start by listing activities that make you feel good, like painting, gardening, or cooking a new recipe, and categorize them by the time required or the type of benefit they provide, such as relaxation or mental stimulation. When you're feeling overwhelmed, refer to your menu and pick something that fits your current state.
  • Develop a "gratitude chain" by linking a small, enjoyable activity to your daily gratitude practice to reinforce the habit. For instance, after writing down what you're thankful for, reward yourself with a few minutes of listening to your favorite song or sipping a special tea. This pairing can make the practice more enjoyable and something you look forward to, increasing the likelihood of it becoming a c ...

Get access to the context and additional materials

So you can understand the full picture and form your own opinion.
Get access for free
Life Update: Girls’ Trip, Valentine’s in Aspen, & The IVF Waiting Game

Impact of Ivf on Life and Relationships

Mari discloses the personal strains and shifts in priorities that IVF introduces into one's life and its profound effect on relationships and lifestyle.

Ivf Process Strains Mari's Relationships

During the emotionally taxing journey of in vitro fertilization (IVF), Mari has experienced potential strain on her relationships. She acknowledges the tendency to self-isolate and the importance of being mindful not to overburden her support network, especially her husband, Greg.

Mari Acknowledges Not to Overburden Her Supportive Husband, Greg

Mari is grateful for Greg's support, who is deeply involved in their business but still provides comfort and encouragement through her IVF journey. Recognizing that men might offer comfort differently, especially on topics they can't fully relate to, she appreciates his gestures, like presenting Valentine's Day gifts early.

Ivf Challenges: Mari's Struggle With Friends' Pregnancies

Mari struggles emotionally with her friends’ pregnancies, especially when announced in the wake of her challenging egg retrieval process. The contrast between her IVF efforts and others' successful pregnancies results in complicated feelings, a phenomenon confirmed by others who have experienced IVF and infertility. Although she desires to be supportive, Mari admits that these conversations are painful.

Ivf Forces M ...

Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary

Registered users get access to the Full Podcast Summary and Additional Materials. It’s easy and free!
Start your free trial today

Impact of Ivf on Life and Relationships

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • You can create a support network by starting a private online group for individuals going through similar experiences, fostering a space for shared stories and encouragement without overburdening any one person. By using social media platforms or apps designed for community building, you can invite people who are also undergoing IVF or have gone through it, ensuring a mutual understanding and a balanced exchange of support.
  • Develop a personal ritual to manage emotional challenges, such as creating a 'comfort box' filled with items that soothe you when you hear news of friends' pregnancies. This could include a journal for expressing feelings, a favorite book or movie, comforting snacks, or a playlist of uplifting music. Whenever you feel overwhelmed, turn to your comfort box to help navigate your emotions in a healthy way.
  • Shift your learning focus to align with your current journey by su ...

Get access to the context and additional materials

So you can understand the full picture and form your own opinion.
Get access for free
Life Update: Girls’ Trip, Valentine’s in Aspen, & The IVF Waiting Game

Support Systems and Community in IVF Coping

As individuals navigate the emotional and physical complexities of In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), community and support systems emerge as pivotal elements in coping with the journey. Mari's story exemplifies the importance of these connections and shared experiences in the realm of reproductive health.

Sharing Experiences and Hearing From Others With Similar Challenges Has Helped Mari Feel Less Alone

Mari discovered a sense of camaraderie and understanding within the IVF community on TikTok. She uses the platform to share her personal experiences and emotions during the IVF process. This openness not only helps Mari articulate her journey but also connects her with others facing similar challenges. The responses from women who engage with her content, sharing their own stories, provide Mari with reassurance and a feeling of community. Support groups extending beyond TikTok, such as Facebook communities specifically for individuals undergoing IVF, have also offered Mari a virtual shoulder to lean on during tough times.

Support Systems Provide Mari a Safe Space For Emotions and Guidance

Apart from the online community, Mari has tapped into her immediate support network which includes her therapist and friends with IVF experience. Mari's therapist, who has personally journeyed through IVF, equips Mari with relatable insights. This understanding is framed through the concept of "spoons" – a metaphor for energy – underlining that during IVF, Mari's capacity to deal with life's demands diminishes. The idea of having fewer spoons parallels the intensified emotional and physical toll IVF takes on Mari, guiding her to allocate her energy thoughtfully.

Furthermore, Mari values the safety and guidance her friends offer, particularly those who have themselves undergone IVF multiple times. This shared understanding breeds an environment where Mari can freely express her emotions and receive empathetic advice. She has found ...

Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary

Registered users get access to the Full Podcast Summary and Additional Materials. It’s easy and free!
Start your free trial today

Support Systems and Community in IVF Coping

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • You can create a digital scrapbook to document and share your personal journey with a specific challenge, using a private blog or a dedicated Instagram account. By doing this, you not only have a personal record of your experiences but also create a platform where others going through similar situations can find your story and connect with you. For instance, if you're dealing with a long-term illness, posting updates, personal insights, and daily victories can inspire others and build a supportive network.
  • Start a virtual book club focused on themes relevant to your life challenges to foster connection and support with like-minded individuals. Choose books that tackle similar issues and organize monthly discussions via video calls. This can be a source of comfort and collective wisdom for all members. For example, if you're a new parent, select books on parenting and child development, and use the discussions to exchange tips and emotional support.
  • Engage in a "buddy syste ...

Get access to the context and additional materials

So you can understand the full picture and form your own opinion.
Get access for free

Create Summaries for anything on the web

Download the Shortform Chrome extension for your browser

Shortform Extension CTA