Life Update: Girls' Trip, Valentine's in Aspen & the IVF Waiting Game
In an episode of the Pursuit of Wellness podcast, Mari Llewellyn openly shares her ongoing IVF journey—a rollercoaster filled with emotional highs and lows. She delves into the anticipation leading up to her embryo transfer, and how a ski trip with supportive friends provided a healthy distraction and opportunity for mindfulness.
Llewellyn also explores the various coping strategies she employs, such as mindfulness routines, self-care practices, and relying on an online IVF community. The episode touches on the complex emotions triggered by others' pregnancies and Llewellyn's hopes of her shared journey helping others feel less alone.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Feb 24, 2025 episode of the Pursuit of Wellness
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1-Page Summary
Mari's Emotional IVF Journey
Mari Llewellyn shares the highs and lows of her ongoing IVF journey, describing it as a rollercoaster filled with despair and optimism. The process occupies most of her thoughts and disrupts her daily life, leaving her with limited "spoons" (energy) for work, relationships, and responsibilities, as her therapist explains.
The Embryo Transfer Wait
The anticipation before Mari's embryo transfer proves intensely stressful. To manage anxiety, she finds healthy distractions like a ski trip with friends, who provide solace and solidarity. Skiing offers therapeutic mindfulness and connection to childhood memories. Mari views the ski trip as a potential farewell to the slopes before a potential pregnancy.
Coping Through Self-Care
Mari copes through mindfulness routines: morning prayer, gratitude journaling, hydration, supplements, and physical activity. She finds relief in red light therapy, acupuncture, and escaping into fantasy novels. Her online IVF community provides invaluable connection, reducing isolation.
Others' Pregnancies
According to Mari, others' pregnancies trigger complex emotions - jealousy, inadequacy, feeling "punished." She aims to balance sharing excitement for loved ones while protecting her mental health. She hopes her shared IVF journey will help others feel less alone, just as her past openness about fitness and mental health journeys supported many.
1-Page Summary
Additional Materials
Actionables
- You can create a personalized self-care toolkit for stressful periods, including items that aren't mentioned by Mari. For example, if you find cooking therapeutic, include a new recipe book or ingredients for a favorite dish. If music soothes you, curate a playlist of songs that lift your spirits or calm your mind.
- Develop a "Plan B" bucket list of activities you'd like to do if your current plans need to be postponed. This could be anything from learning a new language online, starting a garden, or even planning a solo road trip. The idea is to have a ready list of fulfilling alternatives that can provide a sense of purpose and excitement.
- Start a "Good Things" jar where you write down positive moments or things you're thankful for each day. This can be as simple as a kind word from a stranger or a beautiful sunset. On tough days, you can open the jar and remind yourself of the good things in your life, which can help balance out the emotional turbulence.
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Mari's Experience and Emotions During IVF
Mari shares her emotionally charged journey through the process of In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), detailing the highs and lows along the way.
Mari's IVF Journey: A Rollercoaster of Despair and Optimism
Mari describes IVF as the current theme of her life, occupying the majority of her thoughts. Her emotions oscillate frequently—some days she barely feels capable of facing her usual tasks, while other times she carries an optimistic outlook. The journey is likened to a rollercoaster, full of emotional complexities. The sight of others' pregnancies adds another layer to her turmoil, making her emotional reactions even more unpredictable.
Mari's Limited "Spoons" During IVF: Challenges With Work, Relationships, and Responsibilities
During IVF, Mari's capacity to engage with her day-to-day life wanes, an experience her therapist—also an IVF veteran—explains using the "spoons" metaphor. This model suggests that everyone has a limited supply of energy ("spoons") to allocate across daily activities. Mari finds that IVF has curtailed her already limited stockpile, affecting her interactions with her husband, her performance at work, and her connections with friends and other obligations.
Mari's Anxiety Makes Waiting For Her Embryo Transfer Difficult
The anticipation leading up to Mari's embryo transfer proves excruciatingly stressful. To combat the inevitable anxiety, she endeavors to find healthy distractions, although it's during her solitary moments that the worries about preparation and potential outcomes consume her. This period of waiting represents an arduous pause in her life, amplifying her existing distress.
Mari Finds Solace In Skiing and Her Support Network
To manage her anxiety, Mari embarked on a trip to Vail with friends, an excursion offering the ...
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Mari's Experience and Emotions During IVF
Additional Materials
Actionables
- You can create a personal "emotional first aid kit" with items and activities that bring you comfort during stressful times. For instance, if you're going through a challenging period, such as IVF or any other intense emotional experience, gather items like a stress ball, a playlist of calming music, a scented candle, or a book of inspirational quotes. Keep this kit accessible so you can easily reach for it when you feel overwhelmed.
- Develop a hobby escape plan by identifying an activity that fully engages you and scheduling regular sessions. This could be anything from painting, gardening, to learning a musical instrument. The key is to choose something that requires focus and provides a sense of accomplishment, which can help divert your mind from stress and restore a sense of control.
- Establish a "support squad" by conn ...
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Coping Strategies and Sources of Support
Mari Manages Ivf Emotions With Self-Care: Morning Prayer, Gratitude, Activity Mari has been focusing on mindfulness and handling challenges as she progresses through her IVF journey. She's shifted from a high-energy routine to one that’s slower-paced and centered on self-care. She maintains non-negotiable wellness routines, including early morning walks, hydration with electrolyte-infused water, and taking colostrum and creatine to keep mentally on track. Returning to her church routine and committing to morning prayers for strength and hope, as well as ending her day with gratitude for health, home, and family, helps Mari cope with IVF. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing the positives in her life, and physical activities, whether working out or simply walking, are pivotal for her mental health. Social interactions such as meeting friends for coffee also provide her with a sense of support.
Acupuncture, Red Light Therapy, and Fantasy Novels Help Mari Feel Ready for the Embryo Transfer, Offering a Mental Escape Mari finds red light therapy beneficial, especially for her acne scarring, and appreciates the convenience of her home-use device, typically applying a red light face mask for 10 minutes daily. She recommends Bon Charge for skin issues and anti-aging. Weekly acupuncture sessions also play a role in Mari’s self-care practice, aiming to optimize circumstances for a successful embryo transfer. Even though her IVF doctor might dismiss her holistic practices as "magical thinking," Mari feels these actions positively impact her wellbeing. Fantasy novels serve as an evening escape, helping her alleviate anxiety and break away from the obsession over IVF outcomes.
Connecting With Online Communities Has Been Invaluable for Mari, Making Her Feel Seen, Understood, and Less Alone Mari Llewellyn shares her IVF experiences on ...
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Coping Strategies and Sources of Support
Additional Materials
Actionables
- You can create a personalized morning routine that includes a new form of meditation or breathing exercise to set a positive tone for the day. For example, try a "box breathing" technique where you breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, breathe out for four counts, and hold again for four counts, which can help manage stress and improve focus.
- Develop a habit of writing in a "positivity journal" each evening, where you record not just what you're grateful for but also positive affirmations and achievements of the day. This practice can reinforce a positive mindset and help you track personal growth over time.
- Explore a new ho ...
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The Impact of Friends and Family Members' Pregnancies
The journey to parenthood can be fraught with emotional complexities, especially when surrounded by friends and family experiencing their own pregnancies. Mari shares her personal struggle with this very issue.
Mari Struggles Emotionally With Others' Pregnancies, Triggering Jealousy, Inadequacy, and Feeling "Punished" by the Universe
Mari admits to feeling a whirlwind of emotions when learning of others' pregnancies. This news often triggers feelings of jealousy and inadequacy as she navigates through her own challenges in becoming a parent. She opens up about the emotional toll it takes on her, at times feeling as if she is being "punished" by the universe for challenges that are beyond her control.
Mari Acknowledges the Complexity Of Being Excited For Loved Ones While Protecting Her Own Mental Health and Wellbeing
Mari speaks candidly about the complexity of being genuinely happy and excited for those who are expecting while protecting her own mental health. She finds it difficult to engage in conversations about pregnancy without exacerbating her own pain but is eager to discuss and learn from their experiences, looking forward to the time when she can fully share in their joy without reservation.
Mari is navigating the tension between sharing happiness for pregnant friends and loved ones and managing her own emotions as she goes through in vitro fertilization (IVF). She understands that it's essential to strike a balance to maintai ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
The Impact of Friends and Family Members' Pregnancies
Additional Materials
Actionables
- Create a personal emotion-tracking journal to monitor your feelings around sensitive topics like others' pregnancies, noting triggers and your responses to better understand and manage your emotions.
- By keeping a daily log of your emotional state, you can identify patterns and triggers that cause distress. For instance, if seeing pregnancy announcements on social media is a trigger, you might decide to limit your exposure or curate your feeds to be more supportive of your mental health.
- Develop a self-care toolkit with activities and items that bring you comfort and distraction during challenging times, such as a favorite book, a calming playlist, or a craft project.
- Having a go-to set of resources can provide immediate relief when you're feeling overwhelmed. For example, if you're attending a baby shower, you might plan to engage in a relaxing activity afterward, like a long walk or a session of yoga, to help you process and decompress.
- Start a peer support grou ...
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