Girl’s Trip and “Valentine’s Day
In this episode of the Pursuit of Wellness podcast, Mari provides an intimate look into the emotional challenges of undergoing in vitro fertilization (IVF). She details the all-encompassing mental and physical toll of the process, likening it to having limited energy reserves each day.
Mari shares the coping strategies she employs, including mindfulness practices, self-care routines, and connecting with a supportive community. The episode delves into how IVF impacts various facets of life, including identity shifts, relationships, and managing complex emotions surrounding pregnancy and fertility struggles.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Feb 24, 2025 episode of the Pursuit of Wellness
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1-Page Summary
Mari's Consuming IVF Journey
According to Mari, undergoing in vitro fertilization (IVF) is an all-consuming, emotionally charged experience. She likens it to having a limited number of "spoons" of energy each day, many of which are spent on the IVF process, leaving little room for other aspects of life.
Emotional Challenges
Mari finds the waiting period before embryo transfer particularly trying. Despite understanding the need for patience, she struggles against obsessive thoughts about the outcome, actively seeking distractions to occupy her mind.
Strategies for Mental Health
Self-Care and Mindfulness
To navigate the emotional hurdles of IVF, Mari practices self-care routines like prayer, gratitude, exercise, time with animals, and reading fantasy novels. She finds skiing to be a therapeutic mental break from IVF stress.
Importance of Wellness Routines
Mari emphasizes adhering to wellness practices like hydration, supplements, walks, and healthy meals as non-negotiable for maintaining her mood and preventing anxiety.
Mari has found solace in connecting online with others sharing similar IVF experiences, helping her feel less alone. She is deeply moved by the supportive circle around her, per Mari.
Impact on Life and Relationships
Mari reflects on an "identity shift" as her previously active lifestyle slows to accommodate IVF's demands. While appreciating her husband Greg's support, she implies he may not fully grasp the challenges she faces.
Mari values insights from friends and family with IVF and infertility experiences. Their shared perspectives help her manage the complex emotions surrounding others' pregnancies amidst her own struggles, per Mari.
1-Page Summary
Additional Materials
Actionables
- Create a personalized "energy budget" to manage daily tasks and emotional labor by assigning a value to each activity based on its emotional cost, ensuring you don't deplete your reserves on particularly stressful days. For example, assign a value of 1-5 spoons to activities like work, socializing, or appointments, and plan your day so that the total doesn't exceed your limit.
- Develop a "distraction toolbox" filled with quick, engaging activities that can be used during waiting periods or moments of high stress to redirect your thoughts. This could include puzzles, a list of short podcasts on various topics, a sketchbook, or a collection of brain teasers that you can turn to when you need a mental break.
- Start a peer support buddy system by pairing up with someone who is going through a similar experience, where you can check in with each other daily or weekly to share feelings, offer encouragement, and provide a listening ear. This could be done through text, calls, or a dedicated app, ensuring that both parties have a consistent and understanding support network.
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Mari's Personal Experience and Emotional Journey With Ivf
Mari opens up about her intense and emotionally charged journey through the process of In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) that currently commands her daily life and creates a roller coaster of emotions.
Mari's Ivf Journey: Her Central Focus
Mari Calls Ivf a "Consuming" and "Fragile" Experience, Leaving Her With Limited "Spoons" For Other Life Aspects
Mari is currently immersed in the experience of IVF, a process that has become the main focus of her thoughts and conversations. She describes IVF as a "consuming" and "fragile" experience. The analogy of having a limited number of "spoons" each day is borrowed from her therapist, who understands firsthand the toll IVF can take. Much like this concept where spoons represent units of energy, Mari feels that her spoons are largely spent managing the IVF process, leaving little room for other aspects of her life.
Emotional Fluctuations During Mari's Ivf Process
Mari Struggles With Waiting Before the Embryo Transfer, Finding It Difficult to Stay Distracted and Not Obsess Over the Outcome
One of the most trying periods for Mari is the ...
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Mari's Personal Experience and Emotional Journey With Ivf
Additional Materials
Actionables
- Create a self-care routine that includes activities unrelated to IVF to maintain balance in your life. For instance, you might take up a new hobby like painting or join a book club, which can provide a mental break and allow you to engage with a community outside of the IVF process.
- Develop a 'waiting period' project that requires incremental progress over time. This could be something like a home improvement task, learning a new language, or starting a garden. The key is to choose a project that has clear steps and milestones, giving you a sense of achievement and distraction during the waiting phase of IVF.
- Volunteer for a cause you're passionate about to shift focus ...
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Strategies to Support Mari's Mental Health
Mari has been working on maintaining and improving her mental health through various strategies, especially as she navigates the emotional challenges of in-vitro fertilization (IVF).
Mari Uses Self-Care and Mindfulness Like Prayer, Gratitude, Exercise, Time With Animals, and Reading Fantasy Novels to Navigate IVF Emotional Challenges
Since returning from Colorado, Mari has found that her mental state has improved by getting back into her usual routine, which includes attending church and praying. She finds that starting her day with prayer provides her with strength and hope for the future she desires with her family. She also practices daily gratitude, reflecting at night on the positive aspects of her life, like her health, home, and her husband.
Mari incorporates self-care routines such as red light therapy and face masks to help her relax. Additionally, she enjoys spending time with animals as a part of her coping strategy. To detach from obsessing over the IVF process and manage her anxiety, Mari reads fantasy novels, particularly before bed.
Skiing Provides Mari a Mental Break From IVF Stress
Mari had recently taken a trip to Vail with her girlfriends for skiing. She recalls how skiing is not just enjoyable but therapeutic, offering a form of mindfulness that helps her stay present and not get caught up in negative thoughts. The three or four days she spent there allowed her to have fun, enjoy dinners, and get some much-needed distraction from her IVF journey.
She also went to Aspen with her partner, Greg, during Valentine’s Day, where they enjoyed skiing, shopping, and cafe hopping. Even while on vacation, Mari made sure to adhere to her wellness routines, which she deems essential for her mental health.
Importance Of Maintaining Wellness Routines for Mental Well-Being
Mari emphasizes that sticking to her morning water and supplement routine, walking after waking up, and having a healthy breakfast with eggs are non-negotiable practices that set her up for success. These wellness practices help her maintain the best mood and prevent anxiet ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Strategies to Support Mari's Mental Health
Additional Materials
Actionables
- You can create a personalized self-care bingo card with activities that resonate with your lifestyle and interests, ensuring you have a visual and interactive way to track your self-care practices. For example, include squares for a new hobby you've wanted to try, a local nature walk, or a creative project like painting or writing, and aim to complete a row each week.
- Develop a 'gratitude jar' where you write down one thing you're grateful for each day on a slip of paper and place it in the jar. This tangible practice not only serves as a daily reminder to focus on the positive but also becomes a collection you can turn to for encouragement on challenging days.
- Organize a mon ...
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Impact of Ivf on Mari's Life and Relationships
Mari’s in vitro fertilization (IVF) journey has significantly altered her daily life and the dynamics of her relationships, shifting her identity and highlight the invaluable support of her partner and friends who have shared similar experiences.
Mari's Life Changed During Ivf, Slowing Work and Fitness Routines
Mari Reflects On "Identity Shift" as Work and Lifestyle Adapt to Ivf Journey
Mari’s IVF journey has resulted in a considerable slow down of her previously vigorous lifestyle, which once included early morning workouts and a bustling workday full of meetings and events. Now, her energy is consumed primarily by IVF, leading to an "identity shift" as both her work schedule and fitness routines adapt to accommodate the demands of this process. She's experiencing guilt for these changes but also ponders the greater purpose behind her IVF journey, perhaps even sharing her experiences as part of her life's purpose.
Mari Appreciates Greg's Support but Knows He Can't Fully Grasp Ivf Challenges
While Mari does not explicitly express her appreciation for her husband, Greg’s support during her IVF, it's suggested through her gratitude for being able to focus on IVF—implying that he is being supportive as he continues to work hard. However, there is an implication that, regardless of his support, he might not fully comprehend the IVF challenges she is facing due to the nature of the experience.
Mari Values Ivf and Infertility Insights From Experienced ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Impact of Ivf on Mari's Life and Relationships
Additional Materials
Actionables
- Create a personal change journal to document and reflect on the shifts in your daily life, focusing on the positive outcomes and the larger purpose behind these changes. By writing down your thoughts and feelings, you can track your emotional journey, identify patterns, and remind yourself of the greater goal you're working towards. For example, if you're going through a significant life change like Mari, note how your routines are evolving and how you're adapting, emphasizing the support you receive and the resilience you're building.
- Develop a support circle with friends or family members who have gone through similar experiences, and schedule regular meet-ups or calls to share insights and encouragement. This can be as simple as a monthly coffee date or a group chat where you exchange stories, advice, and emotional support. If you're facing challenges like Mari's, connecting with others who understand can provide a sense of community and reduce feelings of is ...
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