Sami Spalter: “How I Lost 80 Pounds” + Her Journey of Strength, Resilience, and Redefining Success
In this episode of the Pursuit of Wellness podcast, Sami Spalter and Mari discuss their personal wellness journeys, from overcoming emotional eating and developing positive relationships with food, to finding fulfillment in fitness routines that prioritize self-compassion and mindfulness.
Sami shares her transformative 85-pound weight loss through disciplined exercise and intuitive eating. Mari reflects on her struggles with body image and finding balance in nutrition and physical activity. The discussion highlights the necessity of self-acceptance, the power of supportive communities, and the mental health benefits of movement. Sami and Mari also delve into their entrepreneurial paths, crediting the discipline from fitness for their professional resilience in building businesses aligned with personal values of health and wellness. Throughout, they underscore the transformative capacity of genuine female friendship and the importance of surrounding oneself with uplifting networks.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Oct 14, 2024 episode of the Pursuit of Wellness
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1-Page Summary
Personal wellness journeys (weight loss, body image, fitness routines)
Sami's Transformative Journey
Sami recalls overcoming emotional eating to achieve an 85-pound weight loss through disciplined exercise like CrossFit and weightlifting. She emphasizes self-compassion for her past self and finding joy in fitness.
Mari's Balancing Act
Mari wrestled with poor body image and restrictive fitness routines before developing a more intuitive approach. Building muscle posed challenges, but she learned self-acceptance.
Both highlight the necessity of self-compassion. Sami finds fulfillment in walking, while Mari proposes fitness modalities that enrich one's life.
Relationship with food and nutrition (mindset, habits, balance)
Sami's Intuitive Eating
Sami works with a nutritionist to mindfully satisfy both health and pleasure in her diet, focusing on protein intake while allowing treats in moderation.
Mari's Food Freedom
Mari overcame fears around "trigger" foods and now embraces cravings mindfully while maintaining nutritional balance.
Both emphasize finding sustainable nourishment and satisfaction, moving away from strict deprivation and disordered thinking.
Mental health, self-care, and personal growth
Movement as Therapy
Fitness routines provided mental health benefits beyond just physical, helping process emotions and personal challenges.
Supportive Community
Sami surrounds herself with like-minded friends for accountability, while Mari's intentional social circle in Austin enhanced happiness.
Embracing Vulnerability
Therapy, self-acceptance, mindfulness, and vulnerability aid in Sami and Mari's personal growth and healing.
Career development and entrepreneurship
Sami and Mari's entrepreneurial resilience stems from the discipline developed through fitness. Their businesses align with personal values around health and wellness.
Despite professional challenges like loneliness, they lean on each other's support and view their companies as extensions of their authentic selves.
The power of female friendship and support systems
Sami, the "connector," helped Mari build a supportive network in Austin. Their dynamic friendship provides a safe space for mutual growth.
They celebrate their rare, invested rapport of uplifting rather than competing with each other's successes, exemplifying the transformative capacity of genuine female bonds.
1-Page Summary
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While Sami and Mari's stories are inspiring, not everyone may find the same success with similar methods due to individual differences in metabolism, lifestyle, and personal circumstances.
- The emphasis on self-compassion is important, but without proper guidance, some individuals might mistake it for complacency and not push themselves to make necessary changes for their health.
- Intuitive eating and overcoming fears around "trigger" foods are beneficial, but some individuals with specific health conditions or dietary needs might require more structured eating plans.
- The narrative suggests that fitness routines can serve as a form of therapy, which is true for some, but it's important to note that exercise is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment when it is needed.
- The idea of surrounding oneself with like-minded friends for accountability is positive, but it could also inadvertently lead to echo chambers that might prevent personal growth or exposure to diverse perspectives.
- Entrepreneurial resilience derived from fitness discipline might not translate directly for everyone, as business success often requires a distinct set of skills and knowledge beyond personal discipline.
- The story of Sami and Mari's friendship is uplifting, but it's also important to recognize that not all individuals have access to or the ability to form such supportive networks, which can be due to a variety of social, economic, or personal barriers.
- The celebration of female friendship is powerful, yet it's crucial to acknowledge that support systems can also come from a variety of relationships, including those with men and non-binary individuals, and that healthy support systems are not exclusive to female friendships.
Actionables
- You can create a "joy in fitness" journal where you record activities that make you happy and why they do so, helping you to identify what forms of exercise are most enjoyable for you. For example, after a dance class, jot down how the music made you feel alive or how swimming made you appreciate your body's capabilities, reinforcing positive associations with exercise.
- Develop a "mindful cravings" menu by listing foods that you typically consider indulgences alongside healthier alternatives that still satisfy the craving. If you're craving something sweet, your menu might suggest a fruit salad with a drizzle of honey instead of a slice of cake, allowing you to indulge mindfully while maintaining nutritional balance.
- Start a "fitness friendship" initiative by reaching out to friends or community members who share your health goals and propose regular check-ins or joint activities. This could be as simple as a weekly walk, a shared meal prep session, or a group chat where you encourage each other's progress, fostering a supportive network that enhances your commitment to wellness.
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Personal wellness journeys (weight loss, body image, fitness routines)
Sami and Mari's personal wellness journeys have been both unique and transformational, touching on aspects of weight loss, body image, and fitness routines. Their stories emphasize the mental and emotional challenges faced when making such life changes.
Sami and Mari share how their weight loss and fitness journeys unfolded differently, but both involved overcoming mental and emotional challenges.
Sami's Transformative Journey in Weight Loss and Fitness
Sami recalls her journey from being overweight throughout her life, with food as a coping mechanism, to losing a significant amount of weight and reshaping her body. She reflects on embracing various fitness classes, transitioning from CrossFit to exploring with ClassPass, and ultimately finding solace in consistency. Through disciplined exercise, including a commitment to CrossFit and weightlifting, she achieved remarkable physical transformation, losing 85 pounds. It was not just about weight loss for Sami; it was about changing her lifestyle and building muscle, which she found preferable over simply being lean.
Sami overcame feelings of intimidation and insecurity, especially when starting at the CrossFit gym due to her size, but she found comfort in the community aspect of the gym and support in the form of modifications and encouragement from coaches. Deeply understanding her past, particularly how she coped with traumatic events through food, became a key aspect of her path to wellness. She emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and appreciation for her former self, acknowledging her past decisions and identity as an overweight girl.
Mari's Balancing Act with Body Image and Fitness
On the other hand, Mari wrestled with poor body image and disordered eating for years. Initially taking an intense and restrictive approach to fitness, she later discovered a more intuitive way of engaging with food and movement. Developing muscle, especially in the upper body, posed challenges but became a representation of her hard work. Mari faced the difficulty of reconciling her past with her present, admitting to feeling guilt over her previous weight gain and struggling with harsh self-judgment.
The Importance of Self-Compassion and Fitness Modalities
Both Sami and Mari highlight the necessity of self-compassion and finding joy in their respective fitness journeys, moving beyond aesthetics. Sami finds fulfillment in walking, valuing it as a multitasking opportunity and enjoying the mental benefits of movement. Similarly, Mari recognizes walking as a therapeutic exercise. They both note the impact of consistent progress and increased strength through specific exercises like bicep curls and overhead presses.
Sami speaks to the transformation as "a beautiful gift" to herself, suggesting that her current habits are sustainable contributions to her wellbeing. She has achieved a sense of balance by finding a form of movement she wants to engage with daily, looking bac ...
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Personal wellness journeys (weight loss, body image, fitness routines)
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While Sami and Mari's journeys emphasize the importance of self-compassion, it's also important to recognize that self-discipline and sometimes critical self-reflection can be equally important in achieving personal wellness goals.
- The narrative suggests that walking is a universally therapeutic exercise, but it's worth noting that different individuals may find different forms of exercise more therapeutic depending on their personal preferences and physical conditions.
- The focus on individualized fitness journeys might overlook the potential benefits of standardized or community-based programs that have been successful for many people.
- The stories of Sami and Mari highlight the importance of overcoming mental and emotional challenges, but it's also critical to acknowledge the role of external support systems, such as family, friends, and healthcare professionals, in facilitating personal wellness journeys.
- The emphasis on the joy of fitness and movement is valuable, but for some individuals, exercise may initially be a source of discomfort or pain, and the joy may come later as a result of improved health or achieved goals.
- The text celebrates the preference for looking strong over being lean, which is a positive body image message, but it's also important to respect and validate those who naturally have a ...
Actionables
- You can create a personalized progress journal to celebrate small fitness achievements, focusing on strength gains and emotional well-being rather than just aesthetics. Start by setting weekly attainable goals that are not related to weight, such as increasing the number of push-ups you can do or the distance you can walk. Document your feelings, energy levels, and any moments of self-compassion after each workout to track your emotional progress alongside your physical progress.
- Develop a 'fitness playlist' of activities that bring you joy and incorporate them into your weekly routine to foster a positive relationship with exercise. This could include dancing to your favorite music, hiking in nature, or playing a sport you love. The key is to choose activities that make you feel good and look forward to exercising, rather than viewing it as a chore.
- Engage in a monthly 'strength challenge' with fr ...
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Relationship with food and nutrition (mindset, habits, balance)
Sami Spalter and Mari Llewellyn share their journey towards a healthy relationship with food, emphasizing mindfulness and balance over restrictive diets.
Sami and Mari have both evolved their nutritional approaches over time, moving away from restrictive diets towards more flexible, intuitive eating.
Sami and Mari disclose their move from strict diet monitoring to a more intuitive approach that incorporates mindfulness and emotional awareness.
Sami works with a nutritionist to address the emotional and psychological aspects of her relationship with food, allowing her to have food freedom without going overboard.
Sami Spalter underscores the emotional aspect of her relationship with food, seeing it as a form of comfort and escapism. Working with her nutritionist, Shira Barlow, she has learned to manage the emotional aspects of eating, crediting her for helping her achieve full food freedom. Sami focuses on being mindful when making food choices, aiming to satisfy both health and pleasure in her diet.
Mari overcame fears and beliefs about certain "trigger" foods that were limiting her diet, learning to reintroduce them in a mindful way.
Mari Llewellyn opens up about overcoming food fears, such as the belief that eggs and carbs were triggers for her acne. She now owns a chicken coop and enjoys the eggs, reflecting her journey towards food freedom. Initially, she avoided dairy, sugar, carbs, and eggs due to the misinformation about their impact on skin health, which she later found was incorrect.
Both emphasize the importance of finding a sustainable approach that provides nourishment and satisfaction, rather than strict deprivation.
Sami focuses on getting adequate protein intake, incorporating healthy fats, and allowing herself treats and desserts in moderation.
Sami details her dietary approach: grounding herself before meals, avoiding technology during eating, and focusing on portion control. Her meals consist of at least half protein, complemented by veggies and carbs, and she always enjoys a dessert. Mindful about her 120-gram protein target, her daily regime includes protein shakes and snacks like Chomp sticks while embracing healthy fats and even enjoying real mac and cheese occasionally.
Mari has learned to listen to her body's cues and cravings, striking a balance between indulgence and nutrition.
Mari echoes the importance of listening to the body's cues. She emphasizes the importance of mindful eating, allowing oneself to enjoy high-quality foods and indulgences like sourdough bread i ...
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Relationship with food and nutrition (mindset, habits, balance)
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While intuitive eating is beneficial for many, it may not be suitable for everyone, especially individuals with certain medical conditions that require a more structured diet.
- Working with a nutritionist is helpful, but not everyone may have the financial resources or access to do so, which can make it challenging to address the emotional and psychological aspects of eating.
- Overcoming fears and beliefs about "trigger" foods is a positive step, but some individuals may have legitimate food sensitivities or allergies that necessitate avoiding certain foods.
- The concept of balance is subjective and can vary greatly from person to person; what is balanced for one may be excessive or insufficient for another.
- Focusing on adequate protein intake and healthy fats is important, but the specific nutritional needs can vary widely among individuals, and some may require different dietary focuses for optimal health.
- Listening to the body's cues is crucial, but it can sometimes be difficult to distinguish between physical hunger and emotional cravings, which can lead to overindulgence or undereating.
- Reflecting on past restrictive habits is part of growth, but it's also important to acknowledge that some dietary restrictions may have been beneficial or necessary at the time for specific health goals or conditions.
- Leaning into cravings is a nuanced topic; while it can be part of a balanced approach, it may also lead to unhealthy eating patterns if not done mindfu ...
Actionables
- Create a "food mood" diary to track how different foods affect your emotions and energy levels, noting not just what you eat but also how you feel before and after meals. This can help you identify patterns and make more mindful choices that align with your body's needs and your emotional well-being.
- Experiment with a "no labels" week where you remove all good or bad connotations from foods and instead focus on how they contribute to your overall well-being. This could involve trying a food you've previously avoided and observing how it makes you feel without judgment.
- Start a "joyful movement" routine by in ...
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Mental health, self-care, and personal growth
Sami and Mari discuss the significant benefits their fitness and wellness routines have provided for their mental and emotional health.
Fitness and Wellness: A Mental Health Journey
Both Sami and Mari have found that their dedication to fitness and wellness has done more than just improve their physical health; it's led to profound emotional and mental growth.
Transformative Discipline and Self-love
They point out that the discipline and self-love required to make sustainable changes have greatly contributed to their self-awareness and self-compassion. These wellness journeys equip them with the necessary tools to confront personal issues and trauma, transforming struggles into opportunities for growth.
Movement as Therapy
For Sami and Mari, engaging in regular movement, whether it's through intense workouts or simple activities like walking, has been therapeutic. It serves as a means to process emotions and personal challenges effectively.
The Power of Community
In their conversation, Sami and Mari highlight the difference a supportive community makes in their personal development journeys.
Choosing Supportive Relationships
Sami has made an intentional effort to surround herself with a network of friends who share similar values and aspirations, moving away from relationships that were kept up out of habit or convenience. This shift has not only helped with accountability but also in celebrating personal achievements.
Fulfillment through Intentional Social Circles
Mari discusses the impact of transitioning to a more intentional social circle in Austin. She attributes her enhanced overall happiness and sense of purpose to this sought-after support network, where the foundation is built on mutual growth and understanding.
Embracing Therapy and Confidence
Sami and Mari delve into the importance of therapy and confidence in their lives.
Therapy as a Steadfast Resource
Mari has been utilizing therapy since she was 14. She underscores the importance of having a consistent and safe space to navigate through life's stresses and issues, which in turn, helps preven ...
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Mental health, self-care, and personal growth
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While fitness and wellness routines can improve mental and emotional health, they are not a panacea and may not be sufficient for everyone, especially those with severe mental health conditions.
- Dedication to fitness and wellness can sometimes lead to obsessive behaviors or exacerbate issues like body dysmorphia, so balance is key.
- Discipline and self-love are important, but without proper guidance, individuals may develop unhealthy habits under the guise of self-improvement.
- Not all personal issues and trauma can be effectively confronted through wellness journeys alone; professional mental health support may be necessary.
- Movement as therapy is beneficial, but it's important to recognize that it may not replace the need for professional therapy in all cases.
- A supportive community is valuable, but over-reliance on external validation or support can hinder personal autonomy and self-reliance.
- While supportive relationships are crucial, it's also important to learn how to be comfortable with solitude and to develop self-sufficiency.
- Transitioning to intentional social circles can be positive, but it's also important to acknowledge and respect the value of long-standing relationships that may not fit the ideal of mutual growth.
- Therapy is a valuable resource, but it may not be accessible or culturally acceptable for everyone, and alternative support systems can also be valid.
- Conversat ...
Actionables
- You can create a "Wellness Passport" for yourself, where you track various activities that contribute to your mental and emotional health. Each page of the passport could represent a different aspect of wellness, such as fitness, nutrition, mindfulness, or social connections. As you engage in activities like a yoga class, a healthy cooking session, or a coffee meet-up with a friend, you stamp that page. This tangible record not only motivates you to maintain your routines but also visually demonstrates your commitment to personal growth.
- Start a "Movement Diary" where you jot down your feelings before and after engaging in any form of physical activity, whether it's a walk in the park, a dance class, or a quick stretching session. This diary will help you become more aware of the therapeutic effects of regular movement on your emotions and can serve as a guide to the types of activities that are most b ...
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Career development and entrepreneurship
Sami and Mari's experiences as business owners underscore how their entrepreneurial success reflects their personal development. They've managed to harness their commitment to fitness into discipline and resilience for their business ventures.
Sami and Mari's success as entrepreneurs and business owners has been deeply intertwined with their personal growth journeys.
Their entrepreneurial journeys have been marked by persistence and personal transformations. Sami reflects on a business failure with an activewear line but expresses gratitude for the perseverance it encouraged. Both acknowledge the often solitary nature of running a business and the difficulty of finding others who can relate, which is why the support they find in each other is so valuable.
The discipline and resilience they developed through their fitness pursuits have enabled them to navigate the challenges and setbacks of running their own companies.
Mari's early mornings at Orange Theory Fitness instilled a crucial discipline in her, and she speaks proudly of the resiliency both she and Sami developed. They discuss the hard nature of their career changes and the importance of embracing challenging paths, paralleling the changes they've made in their personal lives.
Both acknowledge the loneliness and high-intensity nature of entrepreneurship, emphasizing the need for a strong support system and the ability to lean on each other.
Mari and Sami emphasize the hard daily reality of running a business, comparing it to getting punched every day. Sami mentions the importance of a supportive "front row," and they both discuss leaning on each other during tough times.
Sami and Mari view their careers as an extension of their personal values and passions, rather than just a means to an end.
For them, their companies are about more than just work; they represent their values and personal journeys.
Sami has purposefully built a business and a career that aligns with her newf ...
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Career development and entrepreneurship
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While personal development can contribute to entrepreneurial success, it is not the only factor; market conditions, business acumen, and access to capital also play critical roles.
- Persistence and personal transformation are important, but without a clear business strategy and adaptability to market demands, they may not lead to success.
- Discipline and resilience are valuable traits, but overemphasis on these qualities can lead to burnout and neglect of work-life balance.
- A strong support system is beneficial, but relying too heavily on a few individuals for support can be risky if those relationships change.
- Careers reflecting personal values and passions are ideal, but this alignment is not always possible or practical in every indu ...
Actionables
- Start a "failure journal" to document and reflect on your setbacks, turning them into learning experiences. By writing down your failures and the lessons learned, you create a personal development tool that fosters gratitude and insight into your growth journey. For example, if a project at work doesn't go as planned, instead of dwelling on the negative, write down what went wrong, what you learned, and how you can apply this knowledge in the future.
- Incorporate a daily discipline challenge related to fitness or another area of self-improvement to build resilience. Choose a small, manageable task you can do every day, like a 10-minute workout or meditation session, and track your progress. This habit not only improves your physical or mental well-being but also strengthens your ability to stick with difficult tasks in other areas of your life.
- Create a "values vision board" to ensure your career aligns with your personal values and passions. Gather images, quotes, ...
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The power of female friendship and support systems
Sami Spalter and Mari Llewellyn explore the irreplaceable role that close, genuine female friendships play in supporting each other’s journeys in life. They illustrate how their own friendship has been a backbone of support, enabling them to navigate the complexities of personal and professional growth.
Sami and Mari's friendship has been a driving force in their individual journeys, providing mutual support, accountability, and a sense of community.
Both women recognize the importance of fostering meaningful connections, not just in personal matters but in all facets of life. Sami describes herself as a "connector," valuing profound, one-on-one relationships, especially in Austin, where she first settled knowing only one person. Despite feeling vulnerable, she opened up to new experiences and found friends sharing common grief experiences. Through her openness, she helped Mari transition to the city by assuring her of a network based on their shared interests. The dynamic friend group they formed became a source of enjoyment for Sami, signifying her belief in the power of just one connection breeding multiple others.
Sami appreciates the deep connection with Mari enriching her life in a way that aligns with her traditional values such as marriage, family, and career goals. She contrasts this with past friendships that were more about fitting in and escapism, critiquing the superficiality of such relationships.
Mari, too, sought close female friendships throughout her life but faced challenges due to frequent moves and abandonment issues. Upon moving to Austin, she consciously prioritized friendships over work, which had dominated her life in Los Angeles.
Sami's role as a "connector" has been instrumental in helping Mari build her network and find her community in a new city.
Sami played a crucial part in Mari’s successful establishment in Austin by introducing her to a network that resonated deeply with her. Sami and Mari's shared tendency to form deep connections rather than sticking to one "best friend" set the stage for a robust, supportive friendship.
Sami and Mari's friendship serves as an example of the transformative power of close, genuine female relationships.
They have been able to push each other, celebrate each other's successes, and provide a safe space to navigate the ups and downs of life and entrepreneurship.
The strength of their friendship lies in mutual investment and effort, likened by Sami to the process of dating, where each person must actively participate. They underline the necessity of not just reaching out but also of truly engaging in friends’ lives, which has translated into a significant boost in happiness and fulfillment fo ...
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The power of female friendship and support systems
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While Sami and Mari's friendship is depicted as transformative and supportive, not all female friendships necessarily lead to personal or professional growth, and some can be fraught with challenges or even toxicity.
- The importance of fostering meaningful connections is highlighted, but for some individuals, a focus on self-reliance and independence may be more empowering or necessary due to past negative experiences with friendships.
- Sami's role as a "connector" is praised, but this may not be a comfortable or feasible role for everyone, and some may find more value in maintaining privacy or a smaller circle of friends.
- The narrative emphasizes traditional values such as marriage and family, but this perspective may not resonate with everyone, and some may find fulfillment in non-traditional lifestyles or value different aspects of life.
- Prioritizing friendships over work, as Mari did, is not always practical or desirable for everyone, especially for those who find significant fulfillment or identity in their professional lives.
- The idea that the strength of a friendship lies in mutual investment and effort could be seen as overlooking the fact that some friendships are asymmetrical yet still meaningful and valuable.
- The concept of "vision holders" is idealized, but in reality, feelings of comparison or competition can som ...
Actionables
- You can deepen existing friendships by setting up a monthly 'vision dinner' where you and a friend share your aspirations and support each other's goals. Invite a friend to a dinner where the focus is on discussing your visions for the future. This creates a dedicated time and space to inspire each other without falling into the trap of comparison, much like having a "vision holder" in your life.
- Start a 'new city buddy' initiative in your local community to help newcomers find their tribe. If you're already part of a community group or social media network, propose a system where established residents volunteer to introduce new members to people with shared interests, similar to how Sami helped Mari. This could be as simple as creating a sign-up sheet at a local coffee shop or an online form where people can match with a buddy.
- Create a 'friendship growth pla ...
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