Emma Grede: #1 Trick Successful People Use Every Day (THIS Will Open Doors You Didn’t Know Existed!)
In this episode of On Purpose with Jay Shetty, Emma Grede shares her approach to navigating self-doubt and building confidence in the workplace. She discusses how focusing on internal satisfaction rather than external validation has shaped her success, and explains her methods for balancing career ambitions with family life without surrendering to guilt or social pressure.
The conversation between Shetty and Grede explores the value of identifying and focusing on core strengths instead of trying to improve weaknesses. They examine the role of self-awareness in career development, the importance of building diverse support networks, and strategies for maintaining resilience in the face of setbacks. Through their discussion, they demonstrate how understanding personal values and energy patterns can guide better decision-making in both professional and personal spheres.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Nov 19, 2025 episode of the On Purpose with Jay Shetty
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1-Page Summary
Overcoming Self-Doubt and Imposter Syndrome
Emma Grede shares her journey of moving past self-doubt and fear of judgment. She describes reaching a turning point where she focused on meeting her own expectations rather than constantly proving herself to others. Grede emphasizes that true confidence comes from internal satisfaction rather than external validation, particularly noting how women face unique workplace challenges that can impact their confidence.
Identifying and Leveraging Your Core Strengths
Jay Shetty introduces the concept of using self-assessment tools like StrengthsFinder to identify personal talents. Both Shetty and Grede advocate for focusing on strengths rather than trying to improve weaknesses. Shetty shares his experience of discovering strategy as his top strength, while Grede emphasizes the importance of surrounding yourself with people who complement your weaknesses and enhance your strengths.
Balancing Career and Family Life
Emma Grede discusses the reality of making trade-offs between career and family life. Rather than apologizing for work-related absences, she communicates to her children about the fulfillment she finds in her work. Grede explains how she sets non-negotiable priorities, such as attending significant events in her children's lives, while letting go of guilt about aspects like school drop-offs or Instagram-worthy lunchboxes.
Power of Self-Awareness and Building Support System
Grede emphasizes the importance of recognizing what energizes versus drains you, and making decisions based on personal values rather than comparisons to others. She advocates for building a diverse support network, openly seeking help from friends, business partners, and even competitors when needed.
Developing A Resilient, Focused, and Hardworking Mindset
Emma Grede and Jay Shetty share insights on handling setbacks and maintaining focus. Grede describes herself as exceptionally resilient in handling criticism and rejection, while Shetty shares how he transformed the rejection of his TV show into a successful podcast. Both emphasize the importance of channeling focus into areas of strength and maintaining a strong work ethic even after achieving success.
1-Page Summary
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While focusing on internal satisfaction is important, external validation can also play a crucial role in personal and professional development, providing feedback and benchmarks for improvement.
- Some argue that while women may face unique challenges in the workplace, confidence issues are not exclusive to any gender and can affect anyone.
- StrengthsFinder and similar self-assessment tools can be beneficial, but they may not always provide a complete picture of an individual's abilities or potential for growth.
- Overemphasis on strengths might lead to neglecting areas where improvement is needed, potentially limiting personal growth and adaptability.
- Relying solely on others to complement weaknesses might not always be feasible, and developing a basic proficiency in weaker areas can be beneficial.
- The idea of making trade-offs between career and family life can sometimes oversimplify the complexities involved in achieving a work-life balance.
- Open communication with children about work commitments is important, but it does not always mitigate the impact of parental absence on children.
- The concept of letting go of guilt in parenting may not address deeper issues of societal expectations and personal values that contribute to such feelings.
- Decision-making based solely on what energizes you might not always align with necessary responsibilities or long-term goals.
- Seeking help from competitors can be complex and is not always practical or beneficial in competitive business environments.
- Resilience is important, but it's also necessary to acknowledge and address the emotional impact of criticism and rejection rather than just moving past them.
- Transforming rejection into opportunity is not always possible, and some failures may not lead directly to new paths of success.
- A strong work ethic is valuable, but without proper balance, it can lead to burnout and diminish overall well-being.
Actionables
- Create a personal "Expectation Journal" to track your own goals and celebrate your achievements independently of others' opinions. Start by writing down what you expect from yourself weekly, and at the end of each week, reflect on what you've accomplished. This practice encourages you to appreciate your progress based on your standards, not external validation.
- Designate a "Strengths Day" each month where you focus solely on tasks that play to your strengths. For example, if you're great at organizing, spend that day decluttering or setting up a new system at home or work. This helps you experience the benefits of leveraging your strengths over trying to improve weaknesses.
- Implement a "Family Board Meeting" once a month where you discuss with your family the trade-offs you're making for work-life balance. Use this time to set collective priorities, delegate tasks, and explain the value you find in your work. This open communication can help alleviate guilt and ensure everyone understands and supports the family's big picture.
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Overcoming Self-Doubt and Imposter Syndrome
Emma Grede speaks candidly about her journey in overcoming self-doubt and Imposter Syndrome. She shares her insights into how success can be achieved through self-approved fulfillment.
Common Self-Doubt and Fear of Judgment, Even for the Successful
Emma Grede admits she spent her entire life worrying about what others thought of her, though she concedes part of her still feels that way. Despite this, Grede has reached a pivotal point in her life where she focused on meeting her own expectations rather than proving herself to others.
Emma's Realization She Could Meet Her Own Expectations Without Proving Herself Constantly
After confronting the question, "if not you, then who?" Grede has since aimed to do her very best for herself each day. The need to constantly prove something has diminished, leaving her content when she can end her day feeling good about her efforts and accomplishments.
Emma Grede shares how she used to hold back from speaking up or taking risks in her career for fear of judgment. Once plagued by pervasive self-doubt, she realized that everyone is on a learning curve, including those with more experience. Pushing through this fear, particularly as a woman in business, became crucial for Grede.
Prioritizing Self-Approval Over Worrying About Others
True Confidence Comes From Satisfying Yourself Within
Grede describes societal barriers women face, especially in the workplace, and how these factors have shaped her views on confidence and behavior. She discusses gender-based criticisms and how she has been treated differently for her outspokenness compared to her male counterparts.
Grede advocates for being true to ...
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Overcoming Self-Doubt and Imposter Syndrome
Additional Materials
Actionables
- You can create a "My Standards" journal where each day you write down what fulfilling your own expectations looks like, focusing on personal goals rather than external opinions. This practice encourages you to define success on your own terms and reinforces the habit of self-validation. For example, if your goal is to improve public speaking, note how you felt about your performance, not how others might have perceived it.
- Develop a personal mantra based on the "if not you, then who?" mindset to recite during moments of hesitation or self-doubt. This could be a simple phrase like "I am the one to step up" that you repeat to yourself when you're about to enter a challenging situation. It serves as a reminder of your capability and responsibility to act despite fear.
- Start a fear-facing ...
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Identifying and Leveraging Your Core Strengths
Jay Shetty and Emma Grede provide insight into how one can identify and leverage their core strengths to excel in life and work.
Discovering Your Unique Talents via Self-Assessment Tools
Shetty discusses a platform called StrengthsFinder, which offers a test focused on helping individuals identify their top strengths. He advocates for the use of self-assessment tools as a means to discover and understand one's unique talents. Shetty highlights the importance of being more self-aware when taking these assessments for them to be effective.
Leveraging Self-Awareness of Your Strengths to Excel
Grede stresses the significance of recognizing your strengths and delving deep into them as a way to achieve excellence. She suggests that knowing what energizes you can help find your purpose. Shetty bolsters Grede’s advice by stating that competence leads to confidence. He recounts discovering his top strength as strategy and how acknowledging and embracing this strength has transformed his life.
Double Down On Strengths Rather Than Improve Weaknesses
Shetty discusses the typical advice to work on weaknesses but stresses the advantage of focusing on strengths instead. He recounts being advised to improve skills he wasn't inherently interested in, such as using Excel and PowerPoint, but ultimately realizing that focusing on what he excels at is more beneficial. He asserts that concentrating on weaknesses might lead to medio ...
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Identifying and Leveraging Your Core Strengths
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While focusing on strengths can lead to excellence, neglecting weaknesses might hinder personal and professional growth in areas that are necessary for a well-rounded skill set.
- Self-assessment tools can be biased by the individual's own perceptions and may not always accurately reflect one's true strengths or weaknesses.
- Over-reliance on strengths could potentially limit challenges and opportunities for learning and development that come from stepping outside of one's comfort zone.
- The idea that focusing on weaknesses leads to mediocrity may not apply to all situations; in some cases, improving a weakness can be critical for achieving a specific goal or fulfilling a role.
- Surrounding oneself with people who cover for your weaknesses can be beneficial, but it can also create dependency and reduce the incentive to address and improve on those weaknesses.
- The concept of leveraging strengths does not take into account the dynamic nature of work and life, where adaptability and the ability to develop new skills can be as important as leveraging existing strengths.
- The advice to focus on strengths rather than weaknesses may not be universally ...
Actionables
- Create a "strengths journal" to track moments when you feel most engaged and successful. Each day, jot down instances when you felt particularly effective or fulfilled. Over time, patterns will emerge that highlight your core strengths. For example, if you consistently note that you feel energized when solving complex problems, problem-solving is likely a key strength for you.
- Develop a "complementary partnership" plan by listing your known weaknesses and seeking out individuals in your network who excel in those areas. Propose a skill exchange or collaboration where you can both benefit from each other's strengths. For instance, if you're great at big-picture thinking but poor at details, partner with someone who is detail-oriented on a project.
- Initiate a "strengths challenge" where for one mo ...
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Balancing Career and Family Life
Emma Grede delves into the complexities of balancing professional aspirations with family responsibilities, discussing the inevitabilities of compromise and the significance of establishing one's own standards.
Accepting You Can't Be Present 100% in Every Aspect of Life
Emma Grede acknowledges that achieving greatness in one's career often means making sacrifices in other areas of life. She candidly accepts that she cannot attend every school drop-off or be at every family dinner due to her professional obligations. Grede speaks to the reality of working parents making trade-offs, such as skipping dinner with her children because of work engagements like podcasts.
Communicating With Your Family About Tradeoffs and Reasons
Although the specifics about communicating these trade-offs weren't explicitly mentioned within the given material, Grede shares how she reframes the conversation with her children. Instead of apologizing for her absences, she communicates to her children that she loves her work and that it is a positive and fulfilling aspect of her life, shifting away from a narrative of apology to one of pride and fulfillment.
Setting Non-negotiable Priorities and Standards as Parent and Professional
Upholding Personal Standards Without Guilt
Grede speaks about tailoring her life to what works best for her without succumbing to external judgments. She admits to utilizing nannies and not feeling guilty about limited school drop-offs. Grede resolutely states that enjoying her work is not a source of guilt and that she doesn't want to pass on a sense of martyrdom to her children, but rather a legacy of pursuing dreams unashamedly.
She has identified certain non-negotiable aspects in her life, like ensuring she is present for significant events in her children's lives. However, she doesn't stress about adhering to standards she doesn't hold valuable, such as creating picturesque lunchb ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Balancing Career and Family Life
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Counterarguments
- While Emma Grede emphasizes the importance of setting personal standards, some might argue that societal norms and expectations can provide valuable guidance for balancing work and family life.
- The approach of not feeling guilty for using nannies or missing certain parental duties might not be feasible or acceptable for everyone, as cultural and personal values regarding parenting roles can vary greatly.
- The idea of not stressing over societal standards like creating Instagram-worthy lunchboxes may overlook the potential positive aspects of engaging in community or social media trends, such as fostering a sense of belonging or creativity.
- Prioritizing personal relationships and happiness through activities like an annual girls trip might be seen as a luxury that not all working parents can afford, either financially or time-wise.
- The concept of continuously reassessing priorities as life evolves could be challenging for individuals who value consistency and stability in their personal and professional lives.
- Maintaining a personal list of critical elements for happiness that is independent of external expectations might not acknowledge the interconne ...
Actionables
- Create a "priority matrix" to visually map out your non-negotiables and flexible commitments, helping you to see where you can make trade-offs without feeling guilty. Draw a simple grid with one axis labeled "Importance" and the other "Flexibility." Place your commitments in the quadrants to help you decide where to focus your energy and where you can afford to compromise.
- Develop a "family and personal achievement journal" where you document moments of pride and fulfillment from both work and family life. This can be a physical notebook or a digital app where you jot down achievements, special work projects, and family milestones. Regularly reviewing this journal can reinforce the positive aspects of balancing both areas of your life.
- Schedule a quarterly "life audit" where you ...
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Power of Self-Awareness and Building Support System
Emma Grede shares insights into the importance of self-awareness and having a strong support network as the foundation of personal and entrepreneurial success.
Assessing Your Strengths, Weaknesses, Values, and Goals
Emma Grede's discussion underlines the essential nature of recognizing what energizes you in comparison to what drains your strength. She discusses the significance of tailoring decisions to one’s personal life situation, which involves evaluating one's own values and goals rather than comparing oneself to others. By emphasizing learning from the entrepreneurial process, Grede suggests that self-awareness is crucial in determining the right time to start and how to learn from subsequent experiences.
Build a Diverse Network to Complement Your Abilities
Grede pushes the notion that focusing on and applying oneself to become truly excellent at something can lead to recognition beyond one’s current position. She acknowledges having a vast support network, admitting she has no qualms about seeking help—from friends, business partners, and even competitors when necessary.
Maximizing Your Potential Through Oth ...
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Power of Self-Awareness and Building Support System
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While self-awareness is important, it is not the only foundational element for success; factors such as opportunity, access to resources, and timing also play significant roles.
- A strong support network is beneficial, but excessive reliance on others can sometimes hinder personal growth and the development of self-reliance.
- Recognizing energizing versus draining activities is useful, but it's also important to acknowledge that some draining activities are necessary and unavoidable in the pursuit of success.
- Tailoring decisions to one's personal life situation is important, but it's also critical to consider the broader impact of those decisions on others and on society as a whole.
- Learning from the entrepreneurial process is crucial, but it's also necessary to balance the value of experiential learning with formal education and training.
- Focusing on becoming excellent in a specific area can lead to success, but it can also result in a lack of versatility and adaptability in a rapidly changing market.
- Seeking help from a wide range of sources is generally positive, but it can also create dependencies or lead to conflicting advice that may complicate decision-making.
- Building ...
Actionables
- You can enhance self-awareness by keeping a decision journal to track the outcomes of your choices. Write down the decisions you make each day, the reasons behind them, and the results. Over time, review the journal to identify patterns in your decision-making process and adjust your approach accordingly.
- Develop a diverse support network by initiating a skill-swap group within your community or social circles. Offer a skill or knowledge you possess in exchange for learning from someone else's expertise. This could be as simple as exchanging cooking lessons for financial planning advice, fostering a supportive environment where everyone grows.
- Create a personal energy map by logging your activities ...
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Developing A Resilient, Focused, and Hardworking Mindset
Emma Grede and Jay Shetty share insights into cultivating resilience, focus, and a strong work ethic. Their experiences underscore the importance of viewing challenges as catalysts for growth and honing in on core priorities.
Cultivating Resilience to Setbacks and Criticism
Reframing Failures and Rejections As Opportunities For Growth
Emma Grede describes herself as being exceptionally resilient, capable of handling bad news and knockbacks effectively. This ability relates to developing resilience to setbacks and criticism. Similarly, Jay Shetty reframed the failure of not getting his TV show picked up and channeled that rejection into launching a successful podcast. Grede touches on the idea of risk aversion, especially prevalent in women, cautioning against letting the fear of failure impede potential opportunities and personal growth. By not shying away but rather leaning into criticism and unfair treatment, Grede implies that these challenges can serve as a springboard for empowerment.
Maintaining Focus on Core Priorities and Strengths
Work Ethic and Determination to Achieve Goals
Grede points out that true focus acts as a force multiplier in life's various aspects, suggesting that going deep into a subject area can lead to significant discoveries. She emphasizes the importance of not spreading oneself too thinly and instead focusing on a core skill, which for her, is understanding what consumers want to purchase. Repeating and honing this skill has led to her success.
Jay Shetty stresses the limited amount of focus everyone has, reinforcing the notion that channeling focus into areas of strength can yield extraordinary results. Shetty’s story of how he began his podcast following a professional rejection demonstrates his own commitment to pursuing goals despite setbacks.
Emma Grede also believes in applying oneself fully to achieve goals, stating that she works even harder today despite her success. Her strong work ethic and persistence demonstrate the necessity of sustained effort, not just when starting but as one grows more successful. Shetty himself ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Developing A Resilient, Focused, and Hardworking Mindset
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While resilience is often beneficial, it's important to recognize that not all individuals process setbacks and criticism in the same way, and what works for one person may not work for another.
- Reframing failures as opportunities is a positive mindset, but it's also important to acknowledge and address the emotional impact of failure and rejection.
- Risk aversion can sometimes be a rational response to one's circumstances, and not all risks are worth taking. It's important to balance optimism with practical considerations.
- Leaning into criticism can be empowering, but it's also crucial to establish boundaries to protect oneself from potentially abusive or destructive feedback.
- Focus is indeed a force multiplier, but a balanced approach that includes breadth of knowledge and skills can also lead to innovation and adaptability.
- While focusing on a core skill is important, diversification of skills and interests can also lead to a more fulfilling and secure career path.
- The idea that one must always maintain a strong work ethic, even after achieving success, can perpetuate a culture of overwork and burnout. It's important to emphasize the value of rest and work-life balance.
- The notion that observing a strong work ethic in others will always positivel ...
Actionables
- You can build resilience by starting a "Setback Journal" where you document challenges and your responses to them. Each time you encounter a setback or criticism, write it down, and next to it, detail the steps you took to overcome it. This practice will help you see patterns in your resilience and identify areas for improvement. For example, if you notice you tend to dwell on negative feedback, you might focus on developing strategies to process and move past it more quickly.
- Develop a habit of "Opportunity Mapping" whenever you face a failure or rejection. Create a visual map that starts with the failure at the center and then branches out to various opportunities that could arise from it. This could include new skills to learn, people to connect with, or alternative paths to your goal. For instance, if you didn't get a job you wanted, one branch could be networking with the interviewers, while another could be seeking similar roles in different companies.
- Enhance your focus by implementing a ...
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