Podcasts > On Purpose with Jay Shetty > Stop Chasing Love! (How to Shift Your Mindset to Start Attracting It) With Tinx

Stop Chasing Love! (How to Shift Your Mindset to Start Attracting It) With Tinx

By iHeartPodcasts

In this episode of On Purpose, Jay Shetty and Tinx delve into mindfulness practices and their application to modern life. They discuss practical meditation techniques, including stomach breathing and morning routines, while exploring how digital tools can support meditation practices. The conversation also covers strategies for managing information overload and maintaining balance in the digital age.

The episode examines relationships and dating in contemporary times, with Shetty introducing different relationship types through a metaphor of fireworks, candles, and mirrors. He and Tinx address dating app fatigue and discuss alternative approaches to forming connections. The episode concludes with details about Shetty's upcoming North American tour, which will include interactive experiences and guided meditations designed to support personal growth.

Listen to the original

Stop Chasing Love! (How to Shift Your Mindset to Start Attracting It) With Tinx

This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the May 30, 2025 episode of the On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Sign up for Shortform to access the whole episode summary along with additional materials like counterarguments and context.

Stop Chasing Love! (How to Shift Your Mindset to Start Attracting It) With Tinx

1-Page Summary

Mindfulness and Self-Care Practices

Jay Shetty and Tinx explore practical approaches to mindfulness and self-care. Drawing from his monastic experience, Shetty emphasizes the importance of stomach breathing techniques in meditation, explaining that every emotion connects to breath. He advocates for starting each day intentionally, suggesting a 6 AM routine that prioritizes self-reflection and meditation before engaging with technology.

As Calm's chief purpose officer, Shetty has helped expand meditation accessibility through seven-minute sessions and sleep stories. Tinx shares how these digital tools, particularly Calm's features, have transformed her meditation practice, while Shetty emphasizes the importance of breath work as an anchor for meditation.

Relationships and Dating

Shetty challenges the traditional concept of soulmates, introducing a metaphor of fireworks, candles, and mirrors to describe different types of relationships we encounter. He suggests that meaningful connections can include friends and relationships that challenge personal growth.

Addressing modern dating, Shetty and Tinx discuss the exhaustion of dating apps and suggest that creating a peaceful mindset can attract better connections. They emphasize that traditional in-person meetings remain valuable, with Shetty pointing to interactive events as examples of how organic connections can still form.

The discussion turns to managing information overload in our digital age. Tinx describes how constant news notifications can overwhelm the nervous system, while Shetty recommends waiting three hours after waking before engaging with news and selecting trusted sources to maintain balance.

Shetty promotes shifting from pressure to peace, suggesting that self-acceptance attracts more fulfilling life experiences. He emphasizes how gratitude and present-moment awareness can help create desired life outcomes.

Upcoming Podcast Tour and Interactive Experiences

Shetty announces his "On Purpose" North American tour, his first in six years. The tour will feature surprise guests in each city, including celebrities, wellness experts, and business leaders. VIP experiences will offer private Q&A sessions, intimate meditations, and meet-and-greet opportunities. Shetty designed the tour to foster community through interactive dialogues and guided meditations, aiming to support personal growth and healing.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Stomach breathing techniques in meditation involve focusing on deep diaphragmatic breathing, where the stomach expands on inhale and contracts on exhale. This technique helps to engage the diaphragm fully, promoting relaxation and reducing stress during meditation practice. By emphasizing breathing from the stomach rather than shallow chest breathing, individuals can enhance their mindfulness experience and connect more deeply with their breath and emotions. This technique is commonly used to anchor attention and cultivate a sense of calm and presence during meditation sessions.
  • Calm is a popular meditation and sleep app that offers various features like guided meditation sessions, sleep stories narrated by soothing voices, calming music, and breathing exercises. These digital tools are designed to help users relax, reduce stress, improve sleep, and enhance overall well-being. Users can customize their experience by choosing from a range of meditation topics, session lengths, and ambient sounds to suit their preferences. Calm's features aim to make mindfulness practices more accessible and convenient for people looking to incorporate self-care and relaxation into their daily routines.
  • Dating apps can be exhausting due to the constant swiping, messaging, and pressure to make connections. Users often experience decision fatigue from evaluating numerous profiles and engaging in repetitive interactions. The gamified nature of these apps can lead to a sense of superficiality and a lack of genuine connection. Over time, the repetitive nature of app-based interactions can contribute to burnout and a desire for more meaningful and authentic relationships.
  • Managing information overload in the digital age involves strategies to cope with the overwhelming amount of information available through various digital channels like social media, news websites, and messaging platforms. This can include setting boundaries on when and how often you engage with digital information, curating your sources to focus on quality and reliability, and practicing mindfulness to stay present and avoid feeling constantly overwhelmed by the influx of data. Balancing the consumption of information with periods of disconnection and reflection is key to maintaining mental well-being in a world where information is constantly at our fingertips.
  • "Shifting from pressure to peace" in the context of mindfulness and self-care practices involves transitioning from a state of stress, anxiety, or feeling overwhelmed (pressure) to a state of calmness, tranquility, and inner harmony (peace). It signifies moving away from a mindset focused on external expectations, deadlines, or societal pressures towards one that prioritizes inner balance, self-acceptance, and present-moment awareness. This shift often involves practices like meditation, gratitude, and conscious breathing to cultivate a sense of peace amidst life's challenges. By embracing this shift, individuals aim to reduce mental strain, enhance well-being, and invite more positive experiences into their lives.
  • The "On Purpose" North American tour is an event organized by Jay Shetty, featuring surprise guests like celebrities and wellness experts in each city. VIP experiences include private Q&A sessions, intimate meditations, and meet-and-greet opportunities. The tour aims to foster community through interactive dialogues and guided meditations, supporting personal growth and healing. This tour is designed to provide a platform for individuals to engage with inspirational figures and practices in a live setting.

Counterarguments

  • While stomach breathing techniques are beneficial, some individuals may find other forms of meditation, like mindfulness or transcendental meditation, more effective for their needs.
  • A 6 AM routine may not be suitable for everyone, especially those with different work schedules or biological clocks that do not align with early rising.
  • Seven-minute meditation sessions can be a good starting point, but they may not be long enough for everyone to achieve a deep meditative state.
  • Digital tools like Calm can be helpful, but they may also contribute to screen time and distract from the non-digital aspects of meditation and mindfulness.
  • The metaphor of fireworks, candles, and mirrors is one way to describe relationships, but other frameworks may resonate more with different individuals' experiences and cultural backgrounds.
  • While a peaceful mindset might attract better connections, it is not the only factor in successful dating, and some may find success through dating apps or other modern methods.
  • The value placed on traditional in-person meetings may not acknowledge the genuine connections that can be formed through online interactions, especially in a globalized and digital world.
  • Waiting three hours after waking to engage with news is a specific strategy that may not be feasible or beneficial for everyone, particularly those whose professions require staying up-to-date with current events.
  • The concept of self-acceptance leading to fulfilling life experiences is idealistic and may not account for external factors and systemic issues that affect life outcomes.
  • Gratitude and present-moment awareness are positive practices, but they may not be sufficient on their own to create desired life outcomes, as they do not address practical steps or actions needed to achieve specific goals.
  • The "On Purpose" tour, while potentially beneficial, may not be accessible to all due to location, cost, or other barriers to participation.
  • VIP experiences can create exclusivity that may go against the inclusive principles of community and personal growth.

Get access to the context and additional materials

So you can understand the full picture and form your own opinion.
Get access for free
Stop Chasing Love! (How to Shift Your Mindset to Start Attracting It) With Tinx

Mindfulness and Self-Care Practices

Mindfulness expert Jay Shetty and influencer Tinx explore various methods of incorporating mindfulness and self-care into daily life.

Holistic Approach to Meditation and Breath Work

Jay Shetty shares insights from his time as a monk, focusing on the significance of breath work, visualization, and mantra in meditation.

Meditation Uses Stomach Breathing Techniques

Shetty describes breath work as a key practice in meditation, recounting a story of a young monk teaching newcomers about the vital role of breathing from birth to death. He clarifies that every emotion is connected to the breath, and by mastering breathing techniques, one can gain greater control over life's experiences. Specifically, Shetty advises on practicing stomach breathing, instructing that the stomach should expand on the inhale and contract on the exhale, underscoring that meditation involves the physical body as much as the mind.

Meditation Builds Daily Confidence and Momentum

To enhance daily meditation practice, Shetty encourages individuals to pay attention to their breathing, suggesting that such focus can help calm the mind after rushed or disordered moments. He maintains that incorporating meditation into daily routines can significantly build confidence and momentum for the day.

Establishing an Intentional Morning Routine

Shetty highlights the importance of starting the day with intentionality, devoid of the immediacy of technology and external stimuli.

Avoid Technology and External Stimuli Upon Waking

He suggests replacing abrupt alarms or immediate interaction with technology upon waking with more peaceful alternatives, advising against using phones within the first five minutes of the day for a more gentle start.

Morning Structure: Self-Reflection, Intention-Setting, Mediation

Shetty follows a meticulous morning routine, commencing at 6 am, which excludes technology use, specifically steering clear of his phone. He includes self-reflection, intention-setting, and mediation as core elements.

Leveraging Tools and Apps to Support Mindfulness

Shetty and Tinx outline how digital tools can be merged with in-person experiences to cultivate a balanced ...

Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary

Registered users get access to the Full Podcast Summary and Additional Materials. It’s easy and free!
Start your free trial today

Mindfulness and Self-Care Practices

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While breath work is emphasized, some individuals may find other meditation techniques, such as focused attention or loving-kindness meditation, more effective for their needs.
  • The connection between emotions and breathing, although significant, may not be as straightforward for everyone, and some may require professional guidance to manage emotions effectively.
  • Stomach breathing is beneficial, but it might not suit everyone, especially those with certain medical conditions or preferences for other breathing techniques.
  • Meditation can build confidence and momentum, but it is not a panacea; some individuals may require additional interventions for confidence-building, such as therapy or coaching.
  • Intentional morning routines are helpful, but flexibility is also important, as rigid routines may create stress for some individuals.
  • Avoiding technology upon waking is a good practice for many, but for others, certain technologies might be part of a calming or necessary morning routine.
  • The recommendation to avoid technology in the morning may not be feasible for everyone, especially those whose jobs or responsibilities require early connectivity.
  • Digital tools like the Calm app can be beneficial, but they may not replace the depth of in-person guidan ...

Actionables

  • Create a personalized morning mantra that aligns with your daily intentions to recite during meditation, focusing on words that resonate with your goals and aspirations. For example, if your intention is to cultivate gratitude, your mantra could be "With each breath, I embrace gratitude, inviting joy and abundance into my life." Repeat this mantra during your meditation to reinforce your intention for the day.
  • Design a "no-screens" morning zone in your home where you can engage in meditation and reflection without the temptation of technology. This could be a corner of your bedroom or a separate room where electronic devices are not allowed. Decorate the space with calming elements like plants or a water feature to enhance the serene atmosphere.
  • Integrate physical cues into ...

Get access to the context and additional materials

So you can understand the full picture and form your own opinion.
Get access for free
Stop Chasing Love! (How to Shift Your Mindset to Start Attracting It) With Tinx

Relationships and Dating

Renowned speaker and author Jay Shetty, along with other influential voices, unravel the complexities of modern relationships, touching on topics such as the myth of soulmates, the trials of dating apps, and the importance of self-growth in the pursuit of love.

Reframing the Concept of "Soulmates"

The idea of soulmates is deeply romanticized, yet Jay Shetty's insights suggest that the concept may be more nuanced and dynamic than previously thought.

Soulmates Romanticized, yet Relationships Evolve Through Stages and Frequencies

Jay Shetty references Brian Chesky, the CEO of Airbnb, and his search for love, which challenges stereotypical portrayals of successful individuals and the notion of soulmates. Shetty believes that this reframes the idea that even the most successful individuals are on their own journeys to find meaningful connections.

Recognizing That Relationships Need Effort and Difference Management Leads To Fulfillment

Shetty introduces the metaphor of the firework, candle, and mirror to describe how people will fall in love with three different types of people in life. These represent the variety of relationships that fulfill different parts of ourselves. He asserts that the idea of one soulmate is limiting and expands the definition of a soulmate to include friends and high-frequency relationships that challenge personal growth.

In today's world, dating has transformed with technology, and Jay Shetty offers advice on how to navigate these changes with grace and intentionality.

Dating Apps Can Be Exhausting; Finding Peace Attracts Better Connections

Shetty discusses the exhaustion that comes with online dating – rejections, ghosting, and the cycle of accepting and rejecting. He suggests focusing on creating a safe space for vulnerability rather than the pursuit through apps. Furthermore, Tinx explains how a mindset of peace and contentment can attract better connections.

In-person Meetings and Friend Introductions Challenge the Idea That Organic Connections Are Outdated

Shetty addresses the changing landscapes in how we meet potential partners, dispelling the notion that traditional, organic connections are outdated. Citing an event in LA, he showcases how interactive activities can facilitate in-person connec ...

Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary

Registered users get access to the Full Podcast Summary and Additional Materials. It’s easy and free!
Start your free trial today

Relationships and Dating

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While relationships do evolve, some people may still find the concept of a single soulmate to be personally meaningful and a source of comfort and stability in their romantic lives.
  • Effort and difference management are important, but some may argue that compatibility and shared values are equally, if not more, crucial for relationship fulfillment.
  • The metaphor of falling in love with different types of people might oversimplify the complexity of human emotions and relationships.
  • While dating apps can be exhausting, they have also been instrumental in helping many people find compatible partners, especially in a world where traditional meeting places and opportunities are less accessible.
  • The idea that creating a safe space for vulnerability will attract better connections may not always hold true, as other factors like timing, mutual interest, and compatibility play significant roles.
  • In-person meetings and friend introductions are valuable, but for some, digital connections have led to meaningful relationships and should not b ...

Actionables

  • Create a "relationship evolution journal" to track the growth and changes in your relationships. Start by jotting down your current understanding of what a soulmate is, then periodically update the journal with new insights and stages of your relationships. This can help you see the evolution of your connections and how your definition of a soulmate expands over time.
  • Host a "connection dinner" where each friend brings someone new from their circle. This encourages in-person meetings and broadens your social network in a more organic way than dating apps. During the dinner, facilitate conversations that allow for vulnerability, such as discussing personal growth or past challenges in a safe environment.
  • Develop a "self-growth roadmap" post-heartbr ...

Get access to the context and additional materials

So you can understand the full picture and form your own opinion.
Get access for free
Stop Chasing Love! (How to Shift Your Mindset to Start Attracting It) With Tinx

Navigating Modern Life

In today’s fast-paced world, Jay Shetty and Tinx delve into strategies for handling the deluge of information and embracing a positive mindset that attracts fulfillment.

Managing Information and Media Consumption

The constant stream of news and notifications can be a significant source of stress, impacting one’s mental and emotional well-being.

News and Notifications Overwhelm the Nervous System, Requiring Boundaries

Tinx speaks to the toll that the relentless nature of 24/7 news notifications takes on our nervous system, suggesting that the emotional response can be as severe as the stress from a physical threat like being chased by a bear. Shetty adds that such exposure can make our minds and nervous systems go awry, necessitating a conscious strategy to manage news consumption.

Trusted News Sources and Limited Exposure Maintain Balance

Jay Shetty advises that we can stay informed without being overwhelmed. He recommends waiting three hours after waking before engaging with the news to set a positive tone for the day. Being selective about news sources and setting specific times for consumption can help create a sense of balance and prevent feeling inundated. Shetty emphasizes making proactive choices about when and how to engage with the news, possibly through customized methods like social media or newsletters, in order to maintain a solid foundation for processing challenging information.

Cultivating a Positive Mindset

Developing a positive mindset is critical in creating a life that is not only fulfilling but also peaceful and joyful.

Shifting From Pressure to Peace and Self-Acceptance Attracts Fulfillment

Shetty promotes moving from living under pressure to a state of peace and self-acceptance. This shift can help attract a more fulfilling life experience. He belie ...

Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary

Registered users get access to the Full Podcast Summary and Additional Materials. It’s easy and free!
Start your free trial today

Navigating Modern Life

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • The comparison of emotional response to news notifications to stress from a physical threat like being chased by a bear highlights how constant exposure to distressing information can trigger a similar intense reaction in our bodies. This analogy emphasizes the impact of overwhelming news consumption on our nervous system, equating the emotional strain to the heightened alertness experienced in a life-threatening situation. It underscores the need to establish boundaries and manage our intake of news to prevent chronic stress and maintain mental well-being in today's information-saturated environment.
  • Waiting three hours after waking before engaging with the news is a strategy recommended by Jay Shetty to set a positive tone for the day. This delay allows you to start your day with a focus on your well-being and priorities before being exposed to potentially stressful or overwhelming news. By establishing this buffer time, you give yourself the opportunity to center your mindset and approach the news with a more balanced perspective. This practice aims to help you manage your emotional responses and maintain a sense of control over the information you consume.
  • When someone talks about resonating on a frequency that attracts tranquil and healthy relationships, they are referring to the idea that our thoughts, emotions, and energy can influence the type of relationships we attract. It suggests that by cultivating a positive and peaceful mindset, we are more likely to draw in relationships that are harmonious, calm, and beneficial for our well-being. This concept is often associated with the belief that like attracts like, meaning the energy we put out into the world can shape the kind of connections we form with others. It emphasizes the importance of inner peace and positivity in fostering healthy and fulfilling relationships.
  • Gratitude and being present involve acknowledging and appreciating the positive aspects of your life and surroundings. By focusing on what you are thankful for and staying mindful of the present mome ...

Counterarguments

  • While setting boundaries for news consumption can reduce stress, it's also important to consider that staying informed is a civic duty, and finding a balance that allows for informed citizenship without overwhelming the individual is crucial.
  • Relying on trusted news sources is wise, but it's also necessary to be aware of the echo chamber effect, where one may become insulated from diverse perspectives if they limit their sources too much.
  • Cultivating a positive mindset is beneficial, but it's also important to acknowledge and address negative emotions rather than dismissing them, as they can be informative and lead to personal growth.
  • The idea that shifting from pressure to peace and self-acceptance will automatically attract fulfillment may be overly simplistic, as fulfillment often requires active effort and e ...

Get access to the context and additional materials

So you can understand the full picture and form your own opinion.
Get access for free
Stop Chasing Love! (How to Shift Your Mindset to Start Attracting It) With Tinx

Upcoming Podcast Tour and Interactive Experiences

Jay Shetty announces his podcast tour which promises to provide a meaningful, in-person connection and opportunities for growth and healing through dialogue and meditation.

Providing a Meaningful, In-person Connection With Jay Shetty

Shetty hints at something special he's excited to share, and he confirms it is an upcoming live tour called "On Purpose," where he will be on stage in front of his fans across North America for the first time in six years since launching his podcast. Jay promises insightful conversations with surprise guests in every city.

Featuring Surprise Celebrity, Expert, or Business Leader Guests

The excitement around the tour includes the anticipation of surprise guests in each location. These guests may be celebrities, wellness experts, CEOs, or business leaders, providing fans with diverse and intriguing perspectives.

Offering VIP Experiences: Private Q&As, Meditations, and Meet-and-Greets

For those seeking an exclusive experience, the tour will offer a limited number of VIP packages, including private Q&A sessions, intimate meditations, and meet-and-greet opportunities with Jay Shetty, complete with photographs.

Designing the Tour to Foster Community and Experiences

Jay Shetty's vision for the tour extends beyond mere entertainment; it’s structured to foster genuine connections and community among attendees, as well as provide personal growth experiences.

Enabling Attendees to Ask Questions and Have Dialogues

Shetty emphasizes the interactive nature of the tour, ensuring that audience members will ...

Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary

Registered users get access to the Full Podcast Summary and Additional Materials. It’s easy and free!
Start your free trial today

Upcoming Podcast Tour and Interactive Experiences

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • The effectiveness of in-person connections for growth and healing can vary greatly among individuals; some may find online or smaller group settings more conducive to personal development.
  • Surprise guests, while exciting, may not always align with the interests or needs of all attendees, potentially diminishing the perceived value of the event for some.
  • VIP packages, though offering exclusive experiences, could create a sense of inequality among attendees, as not everyone can afford such experiences.
  • The promise of fostering community is contingent on the willingness and openness of attendees to engage, which cannot be guaranteed.
  • The interactive nature of the tour relies on the assumption that attendees are comfortable speaking in a public setting, which may not be the case for everyone.
  • Guided ...

Actionables

  • You can create a personal growth journal to document insights and reflections from various sources of inspiration. Start by dedicating a notebook where you jot down key takeaways from books, articles, or conversations that resonate with you. This practice can mirror the experience of attending a live event by allowing you to engage deeply with the material and track your personal growth over time.
  • Organize a small, informal discussion group with friends or community members to talk about topics related to personal growth and community building. Rotate who selects the topic for each meeting, ensuring that everyone has a chance to contribute and learn from each other, similar to the dynamic Q&A sessions at live ev ...

Get access to the context and additional materials

So you can understand the full picture and form your own opinion.
Get access for free

Create Summaries for anything on the web

Download the Shortform Chrome extension for your browser

Shortform Extension CTA