Communication Expert Vinh Giang: Why You Keep Getting Interrupted (How to Use Your Voice So People ACTUALLY Listen)
In this episode of On Purpose, communication expert Vinh Giang and host Jay Shetty discuss the fundamentals of effective communication and how people can improve their speaking abilities through self-awareness and practice. They explore how recording oneself speaking can reveal ingrained habits, and they explain that what many consider their "natural" voice is actually a collection of mimicked behaviors developed over time.
The conversation examines practical techniques for enhancing communication skills, from volume modulation to body language, and emphasizes the importance of tailoring these skills to different contexts and audience sizes. Giang and Shetty address how to manage communication anxiety through specific breathing techniques and physical preparation, while positioning effective communication as a skill that can be developed through dedicated practice rather than an innate talent.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the May 19, 2025 episode of the On Purpose with Jay Shetty
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1-Page Summary
Developing Self-Awareness and Identifying Areas For Improvement
Vinh Giang and Jay Shetty explore how individuals can enhance their communication skills through self-awareness and deliberate practice. Giang recommends recording and reviewing oneself speaking, analyzing everything from hand movements to vocal qualities. He explains that what we consider our "natural" voice is actually a collection of mimicked habits developed over time.
Moving through the stages of learning, from unconscious incompetence to conscious competence, requires focused practice on specific elements like volume, articulation, and pausing. Both hosts emphasize that while this process may feel uncomfortable initially, as Shetty demonstrates through his own experience with speaking exercises, this discomfort is a necessary part of growth.
Specific Techniques and Strategies For Enhancing Communication Skills
When it comes to vocal variety and physicality, Giang advises using a mix of strong vocal presence paired with purposeful body language. He recommends focusing on one element at a time, such as volume modulation, rather than trying to improve everything at once. Shetty shares his experience from drama school, highlighting how vocal modulation can significantly impact message delivery.
The hosts stress the importance of tailoring communication to context and audience. Giang explains that matching and mirroring others' vocal qualities and body language helps build rapport, while adjusting your communication style to match the setting's scale ensures effective engagement with audiences of any size.
Mindset and Emotions in Communication
Giang and Shetty emphasize shifting focus from self-consciousness to serving the audience. To manage communication anxiety, Giang suggests specific techniques like Wim Hof breathing and physical exercise before speaking engagements. Both hosts position communication as a learnable skill rather than an innate talent, with Giang drawing parallels between learning communication and learning to play an instrument to illustrate that improvement comes through dedicated practice.
1-Page Summary
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Counterarguments
- While recording oneself can be helpful, it may also lead to over-critiquing and increased self-consciousness, which can be counterproductive for some individuals.
- The idea that our "natural" voice is merely a collection of habits may overlook the biological and physiological factors that also influence vocal qualities.
- The linear progression from unconscious incompetence to conscious competence may be oversimplified and not account for the non-linear and iterative nature of skill acquisition.
- Focused practice on specific elements is important, but it may also be necessary to integrate these elements to ensure that communication remains natural and not overly mechanical.
- Discomfort is often part of growth, but it's also important to recognize and respect individual differences in comfort levels and learning styles.
- Strong vocal presence and purposeful body language are generally positive, but there may be cultural contexts where these are less appropriate or even frowned upon.
- The effectiveness of focusing on one element at a time can vary; some individuals may benefit from a more holistic approach to learning communication skills.
- Matching and mirroring can build rapport, but if done insincerely or excessively, it can come across as manipulative or inauthentic.
- Techniques like Wim Hof breathing may not be suitable for everyone, and the effectiveness of such techniques can vary from person to person.
- While communication is a learnable skill, the role of innate talent or predisposition should not be entirely dismissed, as it can play a significant part in an individual's ability to excel in this area.
- The comparison between learning communication and learning to play an instrument may not resonate with everyone, as people have different experiences and challenges with learning new skills.
Actionables
- You can enhance your self-awareness by starting a communication journal where you note down the reactions of others to your speaking style in different settings. For example, after a meeting or social event, jot down if people seemed engaged, asked questions, or appeared confused, and reflect on how your communication might have influenced these reactions.
- Develop your vocal presence by practicing speaking with background noise, such as music or a TV playing, to train yourself to maintain volume and clarity. This can be done during everyday activities like cooking or cleaning, where you narrate your actions out loud, focusing on being heard over the noise.
- Improve your ability to tailor communication by role-playing different audience scenarios with a friend or family member. Take turns being the speaker and the audience, giving each other feedback on how well the message was adapted to the audience's perceived needs and interests.
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Developing Self-Awareness and Identifying Areas For Improvement
Vinh Giang and Jay Shetty emphasize the importance of recognizing and improving unconscious communication habits through mindful practice and embracing the discomfort that comes with adopting new approaches to communication.
Recognizing One's Unconscious Communication Habits Through Self-Reflection
Vinh Giang discusses the significance of self-awareness in communication. To identify one's unconscious habits, Giang advises recording and reviewing oneself speaking, focusing on physical actions like hand movements, facial expressions, and posture when the sound is off. Listening to the recording highlights vocal qualities and filler words, while transcribing speech allows a deeper analysis of how one communicates in text.
Uncovering Blind Spots Through Recording and Reviewing Speech, Body Language, and Vocal Qualities
Giang emphasizes that what people consider their natural voice is often a compilation of mimicked habits. He stresses the illusion that this is how someone naturally is, when in reality, these are just subconscious habits picked up over time. Using video recordings, individuals can become aware of their habits in speech and body language, which might differ from their self-perception due to the “mirror effect” and how sound vibrates differently through various mediums. Giang encourages repetitive listening to recordings to diminish the perceived discrepancy between the internal and recorded voice.
From Unconscious Incompetence to Conscious Competence in Communication
Giang asserts that behaviors that start as conscious choices can become unconscious habits. Jay Shetty concurs, recognizing that everyone feels uncomfortable hearing their voice, manifesting a common unconscious habit. Listeners are urged to apply Giang's advice in their next meeting and practice playing back recordings of themselves to understand their current communication habits better.
Vinh Giang underlines the four stages of learning, equating the potential mastery of communication skills with the process one undergoes when learning to drive. Moving from unconscious incompetence to conscious competence involves becoming aware of why one utilizes certain communication techniques.
Mastering Through Practice: Volume, Articulation, and Pausing
To master communication elements such as volume, articulation, and pausing, Giang emphasizes focus on one aspect at a time, with consistent practice over an extended period. He shares the importance of practice in articulation improvement and how stretch exercises with the mouth, such as reading with a pen in it, can enhance clarity of speech. Giang exemplifies the need for practice through his own experience of adjusting from speaking in Australia to the US.
...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Developing Self-Awareness and Identifying Areas For Improvement
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While recording oneself can be helpful, it may not capture the full context of communication, such as audience feedback or environmental factors that influence communication.
- Overemphasis on self-monitoring can lead to self-consciousness that inhibits natural communication rather than enhancing it.
- The discomfort associated with adopting new communication habits may not always be necessary or productive; some individuals may find more success with gradual, less uncomfortable adjustments.
- The analogy of learning communication skills to learning to play the saxophone may oversimplify the complexity of human communication, which involves not just skill but also emotional intelligence and adaptability.
- The focus on eliminating filler words and perfecting vocal qualities might not address deeper issues of content, authenticity, and the ability to engage with an audience.
- The idea that everyone feels uncomfortable hearing their voice might not be universally true; some individuals may not experience significant discomfort or may become accustomed to it quickly.
- The suggestion to focus on one aspect of communication at a time may not work for everyone; some individuals may benefit from a more holistic approach that considers all aspects of communication simultaneously.
- The assumption that past negative experiences in public speaking are due to a lack of proper training may not account ...
Actionables
- You can create a personal communication development plan by setting specific goals for each element of communication, such as volume control or eliminating filler words, and tracking progress weekly. Start by choosing one communication element to focus on each week, and set a measurable goal, like reducing filler words by 50% in your conversations. Keep a journal to note instances when you successfully control your volume or catch yourself using filler words, and reflect on your improvement at the end of the week.
- Engage in role-playing exercises with a friend where you simulate challenging communication scenarios, such as a job interview or a heated debate, to practice and refine your communication skills in a safe environment. Take turns being the speaker and the listener, and provide each other with constructive feedback on aspects like clarity, articulation, and body language. This will help you become more adaptable and responsive in real-life communication situations.
- Develop a 'communication workout' routine t ...
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Specific Techniques and Strategies For Enhancing Communication Skills
Vinh Giang and Jay Shetty provide valuable insights into the art of communication, emphasizing the importance of vocal variety, physicality, and the adaptation of communication strategies to match context and audience.
Leveraging the Power of Vocal Variety and Physicality
Modulate Pitch, Pace, and Volume to Engage Audience
Communication involves more than words alone; it also involves how we use our voice and body. The hosts stress the power of vocal variety as a tool for effective communication. To command attention and prevent interruptions, Giang advises using a mix of strong vocal presence paired with larger body language, such as standing up during presentations to appear more authoritative.
Shetty reflects on the importance of modulating voice qualities, recalling exercises at the London Academy of Music, Drama and Arts where he practiced reading emotively and powerfully. Vinh Giang underscores this by suggesting that changing elements like volume can make a significant difference in how one is perceived. He warns against attempting to improve all aspects of communication at once, recommending focusing on one element at a time for meaningful change. Giang also highlights the emotional impact of vocal modulation, such as lowering volume when engaging with someone who is upset.
The hosts admire Steve Jobs' commencement speech for its vocal variety, even without significant body movement, and Giang uses the metaphor of a pianist enhancing a simple tune to convey how delivery can amplify basic content, noting that even profound content benefits from strong delivery.
Amplifying the Message With Purposeful Gestures and Movement
Communication is enhanced not just by voice but also by physical expression. Giang explains that airflow manipulation and body movements like hand gestures can dramatically impact a message's effectiveness. He disproves advice to look over people's heads, instead advocating for making eye contact to connect with the audience. Additionally, Giang shares an anecdote about using a piano track to demonstrate how people derive complex meanings from sound alone, implying that physical actions similarly convey profound messaging without words.
The hosts suggest observing great communicators to learn how to amplify a spoken message with gestures and movement. Students are encouraged to incorporate hand gestures with changes in volume to complement their communication.
Tailoring Communication to Context and Audience
Matching and Mirroring Cues For Rapport
Giang stresses the significance of matching and mirroring vocal qualities and body language as a way to build rapport. He explains that aligning your rate of speech and tone with another per ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Specific Techniques and Strategies For Enhancing Communication Skills
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- Vocal variety and physicality, while important, may not be as effective in virtual communication settings where visual cues are limited or absent.
- Overemphasis on vocal and physical expression could potentially distract from the content of the message if not used judiciously.
- Matching and mirroring can sometimes be perceived as mimicry or inauthentic if not done subtly and with sensitivity to cultural differences.
- The advice to focus on one element of communication at a time might slow down the overall improvement process for some individuals who may benefit from a more holistic approach.
- Eye contact can be culturally sensitive, and what is appropriate in one culture may be considered aggressive or disrespectful in another.
- Adjusting communication style based on audience size may not always account for the diversity within the audience, such as varying levels of understanding or interest.
- Strong delivery enhancing basic ...
Actionables
- You can practice vocal variety by narrating your daily activities with different pitches and volumes. For instance, when you're cooking, try to describe the process in a low, soothing tone, and then switch to a high-pitched, excited voice when sharing the meal with others. This will help you become more comfortable with changing your vocal dynamics in real-life situations.
- Enhance your physical communication by using a mirror during phone calls. While on the call, make conscious gestures and observe how they feel. This can make you more aware of your natural movements and help you refine them for in-person interactions.
- Develop rapport-building skills by playing a 'mirroring game' ...
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Mindset and Emotions in Communication
The conversation on communication as featured by Vinh Giang and Jay Shetty delves into the interplay between mindset, emotions, and the mastery of communicative skills.
Shifting From Self-Consciousness to Audience-Focused Intention
Giang and Shetty discuss the often unconscious adherence to familiar communication patterns but advocate for a conscious intention to move past self-consciousness and instead focus on serving the audience.
Reframe Communication to Serve Others, Not Impress
Giang illustrates the tendency of individuals to be attached to their present communicative behavior, which limits the full use of their "instrument". He encourages not being too attached to the current version of oneself and allowing for a version that can use the entire range of communicative abilities. Additionally, Shetty speaks about feeding off the audience's energy while being in the moment during keynotes. Giang also discusses the need to shine one's light more brightly, which involves serving others when communicating rather than trying to impress. He shares that when he focuses on serving the audience and adding value to the interviewer, he stops being nervous because he is no longer thinking about himself. Furthermore, he talks about the importance of authenticity in communication, suggesting that communication should aim to serve others rather than impress. Giang encourages listeners to share their intent to change their communication style with others, thus reframing the shift to serve their audience.
Managing Anxiety With Breath, Exercise, and Reframing
Several techniques are discussed for managing anxiety associated with communication. Giang talks about using Wim Hof's breathing technique to oxygenate the brain and energize himself before meetings. He outlines a process that includes deep breaths, exhaling and holding, and then a deep breath in. He also mentions the importance of physical activities such as brisk walking or 'star jumps' to alleviate excess adrenaline, which contributes to nervous shaking and rapid speech. Shetty and Giang highlight that making mistakes is part of exploring one's "instrument" in communication, indicating that embracing discomfort is a step in overcoming self-consciousness.
Embraci ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Mindset and Emotions in Communication
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While focusing on serving the audience is beneficial, it's also important to maintain a balance between audience needs and authentic self-expression; overemphasis on the audience can lead to a loss of personal voice.
- The idea of serving rather than impressing may not apply equally across all contexts; in some professional or competitive scenarios, impressing may be a necessary component of communication.
- Techniques like breathwork and exercise may not be effective for everyone; individuals may have different responses to anxiety management strategies.
- The concept of embracing discomfort can be challenging for individuals with anxiety disorders or other mental health issues, for whom discomfort might exacerbate their condition rather than contribute to growth.
- While communication is a learnable skill, the degree to which it can be developed may be influenced by individual differences such as personality traits, cogni ...
Actionables
- You can volunteer to teach a skill or hobby you're passionate about to others, focusing on their learning rather than your performance. By doing this, you shift your mindset from self-consciousness to serving your audience. For example, if you're good at playing the guitar, offer free lessons at a local community center. As you teach, concentrate on the progress of your students, which will naturally alleviate your anxiety and help you communicate more effectively.
- Start a 'communication buddy' system with a friend where you both commit to regular conversations on new topics, with the intent to learn from each other rather than to impress. This could be a weekly call where you discuss a book or article you've both read, providing a safe space to practice reframing your communication from self-serving to audience-serving. The focus here is on the exchange of ideas and mutual growth, which aligns with the growth mindset necessary for developing communication skills.
- Create a pers ...
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