Podcasts > On Purpose with Jay Shetty > Comedian Bert Kreischer: My Constant Battle with My Inner Critic (Overcoming Anxiety, Chasing Approval & The Pressure to Be Funny)

Comedian Bert Kreischer: My Constant Battle with My Inner Critic (Overcoming Anxiety, Chasing Approval & The Pressure to Be Funny)

By iHeartPodcasts

In this episode of On Purpose with Jay Shetty, comedian Bert Kreischer discusses his approach to mental health, parenting, and personal growth. He shares his experiences with anxiety and OCD, describing how he transitioned from medication dependency to managing his mental health through exercise and wellness practices. Kreischer also explains how his parenting style evolved from mimicking his father's strict approach to developing a more understanding relationship with his daughters.

The conversation covers Kreischer's path to comedy success, including his early career break with Will Smith and his philosophy on appreciating achievements rather than constantly pursuing the next goal. He speaks candidly about maintaining authenticity in his public persona, managing family life while dealing with fame, and nurturing his relationship with his wife through humor and mutual support.

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Comedian Bert Kreischer: My Constant Battle with My Inner Critic (Overcoming Anxiety, Chasing Approval & The Pressure to Be Funny)

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Comedian Bert Kreischer: My Constant Battle with My Inner Critic (Overcoming Anxiety, Chasing Approval & The Pressure to Be Funny)

1-Page Summary

Bert Kreischer's Bond With His Father and Its Influence on Parenting

Bert Kreischer discusses his father's stoic, "tough love" approach to parenting, which emphasized discipline and hard work. While his father insisted on principles like not crying in front of children and pushing through pain, Bert reveals that his own parenting style evolved differently. Though he initially mimicked his father's strict discipline, his daughter Georgia helped him realize the ineffectiveness of yelling, leading him to adopt a more understanding and supportive approach, particularly regarding his children's anxiety disorders.

Bert's Mental Health Struggles and Coping With Anxiety

Kreischer openly shares his battles with anxiety and OCD, describing experiences ranging from childhood panic attacks to ongoing struggles with intrusive thoughts and health worries. To manage these challenges, Bert explains that he relies on constant activity, likening himself to a shark that needs to keep moving. His wife helped him overcome a [restricted term] dependency, and he now uses strategies like gym workouts, sauna visits, and proper hydration. By discussing these issues publicly, Bert helps his daughters, who also experience anxiety, feel less alone with their mental health challenges.

Bert's Path to Comedy Success

Kreischer's comedy career began with a willingness to do any task necessary for stage time. A pivotal moment came when Will Smith discovered him six months into his comedy career, leading to a six-figure development deal and a successful sitcom pitch to ABC. Rather than constantly chasing the next achievement, Bert describes his philosophy of savoring each moment of success, whether performing in small venues or selling out arenas.

Bert's Family Life and Relationships

Bert and his wife Leanne maintain a playful, humor-filled relationship that helps them navigate challenges. His daughters have influenced his evolution as a father, encouraging greater emotional presence and pushing him to create more uplifting content about women. Despite occasional challenges with fame, such as managing fan interactions during family time, Bert emphasizes the importance of his family's love and support.

Bert's Views on Alcohol and Authenticity

While acknowledging alcohol's downsides, Bert discusses its role in his social life. He prioritizes authenticity over crafting a particular image, choosing to share both his party-loving side and his deeper, more sensitive nature. This commitment to transparency, including his choice to perform shirtless despite advice to the contrary, has helped him build strong connections with his audience.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • You can foster a supportive environment for family members with anxiety by creating a 'worry box' where everyone can write down their anxieties and discuss them during family meetings. This encourages open communication and helps family members feel understood and supported, similar to how Bert evolved his parenting style to be more understanding of his children's anxiety disorders.
  • Develop a habit of celebrating small victories by keeping a 'success jar' where you write down moments of success on slips of paper and review them at the end of each month. This practice can help you savor each moment of success, just as Bert appreciates the milestones in his comedy career.
  • Enhance your relationship with humor by setting up a weekly 'joke night' with your partner or family where each person shares something funny or plays a light-hearted game. This can help maintain a playful, humor-filled dynamic in your relationships, akin to the one Bert shares with his wife.

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Comedian Bert Kreischer: My Constant Battle with My Inner Critic (Overcoming Anxiety, Chasing Approval & The Pressure to Be Funny)

Bert Kreischer's Bond With His Father and Its Influence on Parenting

Bert Kreischer shares impactful stories about his father's "tough love" approach to parenting and how this shaped his own journey as a parent.

Bert's Father Emphasized Stoic, Disciplined "Tough Love" Parenting

Bert describes his father as a stoic figure who used a tough love approach, taking the opposite side in political debates to protect Bert from coming across as foolish. Examples include a childhood incident during the Iraq war where Bert's pacifist stance was met with scrutiny by his father. Another testament to his father's stern parenting style was his rule about not crying in front of the kids, a principle he enforced during his own mother's funeral and advised Bert to follow.

Father Urged Bert to Work Hard, Even During Tough Times

Bert's father instilled in him a strong work ethic characterized by showing up and pushing through pain. Bert reflects on an incident when he was 11 and continued playing baseball despite a painful injury, on his father's insistence. He also mentions his father's advice to "eat shit, cash checks," symbolizing the importance of persevering through unfavorable work conditions. Bert identifies that, despite his father's regret over this mindset, he learned from him the value of performing best under pressure.

Father's Influence Shaped Bert's Parenting, but He Became More Understanding and Supportive

Bert's upbringing led him to initially parent his children through strict discipline similar to his father's. However, his daughter Georgia made him realize that yelling was an ineffective way to discipline, as the children knew it would not escalate further. Bert contrasts his father's "tough love" approach with his own parenting choices, where he opts for understanding and support, especially in dealing with his children's panic disorders.

Bert and His Father Reached Mutual Understanding and Respect

Through open and honest conversations, such as the one induced by marijuana popcorn, Bert learned about his father's fears and regrets, which led to a smoother relationship. Bert re ...

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Bert Kreischer's Bond With His Father and Its Influence on Parenting

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While "tough love" parenting can instill discipline, it may not address the emotional needs of a child, potentially leading to issues with emotional expression and intimacy later in life.
  • A strong work ethic is valuable, but pushing through pain without proper rest or medical attention can lead to long-term physical harm or a disregard for personal well-being.
  • Strict discipline may create obedience, but it might not foster independent thinking or emotional intelligence in children.
  • Being understanding and supportive is crucial in parenting, but it is also important to maintain a balance with setting boundaries and teaching responsibility.
  • Mutual understanding and respect between parent and child are important, but it should not be overloo ...

Actionables

  • You can reflect on your own upbringing and identify elements you'd like to emulate or change by journaling about your childhood experiences. Write down specific instances where you felt your parents' approach was beneficial or detrimental, and consider how these moments have shaped your own views on discipline and support. This personal audit will help you consciously adopt or adapt parenting styles that resonate with you.
  • Develop a "tough love" challenge for yourself by setting a goal that requires discipline to achieve, such as a fitness milestone or learning a new skill. Track your progress daily, and note the emotional and mental hurdles you encounter. This exercise will give you firsthand experience with the kind of resilience your father advocated for and may inform how you support others facing challenges.
  • Create a family values charter with your children or partner that outlines the pri ...

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Comedian Bert Kreischer: My Constant Battle with My Inner Critic (Overcoming Anxiety, Chasing Approval & The Pressure to Be Funny)

Bert's Mental Health Struggles and Coping With Anxiety and Intrusive Thoughts

Bert Kreischer openly discusses his personal battles with anxiety and OCD, detailing the pervasive and sometimes paralyzing thoughts that accompany his condition.

Bert's Anxiety, Ocd, and Intrusive Thoughts

Bert Experiences Racing Thoughts and Debilitating Worries

Bert recalls a childhood experience when the sudden realization of life’s impermanence triggered a panic attack, leading to a distressing conversation with his stoically blunt father. As an adult, Bert continues to grapple with anxiety, recounting a college memory where he mistook an anxiety attack for a brain tumor. He also acknowledges a paralyzing fear of flying, which once resulted in a dependency on [restricted term] due to its therapeutic prescription. Bert's daily struggles include waking with back pain and confronting a torrent of worries about his health and habits, such as whether excessive partying has harmed his liver. His mind races obsessively over health concerns and subjects him to harsh internal criticism that he admits would be heartbreaking to others.

Bert Created Coping Strategies for Mental Health Challenges

Bert's Well-Being: Activity, Breathing, Alcohol-Free

Bert's wife played a crucial role in steering him away from his [restricted term] dependency. In tackling his mental health, Bert likens himself to a shark, finding relief in continuous movement through activities like gym workouts and sauna visits. Although alcohol has been a significant crutch for him, Bert discovers that he can actually sleep without resorting to drinking. He underscores the importance of incremental daily improvement and utilizes a fitness tracker and workout goals as tangible ways to manage his well-being. Hydration, too, becomes a key strategy for Bert, as it effectively helps reduce his heart rate.

Bert Openly Addresses Mental Health to Help Destigmatize These Issues

Bert's Openness About His Experiences Helps His Daughters Feel Less Alone With Their Anxiety and Mental Health Concerns

By choosing to discuss his mental health challenges on podcasts, Bert not only destigmatize ...

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Bert's Mental Health Struggles and Coping With Anxiety and Intrusive Thoughts

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • You can create a personal anxiety narrative by writing a short story where anxiety is a character, not an antagonist, to foster a healthier relationship with it. This can help you externalize anxiety, making it something you can observe and manage rather than an overwhelming part of your identity. For example, write a story where 'Anxiety' is a well-meaning friend who sometimes gets overprotective, causing mix-ups and adventures that you both learn from.
  • Develop a 'worry postponement' habit by setting aside a specific time each day to address your worries, allowing you to focus on the present moment. During this 'worry time,' you can write down your concerns, reflect on them, and then decide on actionable steps to address them, if necessary. This can help prevent worries from consuming your day and give you a sense of control.
  • Start a 'fear-facing' journal where ...

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Comedian Bert Kreischer: My Constant Battle with My Inner Critic (Overcoming Anxiety, Chasing Approval & The Pressure to Be Funny)

Bert's Path to Comedy Success and Career Approach

Bert Kreischer's journey in the comedy world reflects his commitment to seizing every opportunity and his philosophy of living in the moment. From his early days honing his storytelling skills to the influence of big names like Will Smith, Bert's career is a testament to hard work and an enjoyment-focused approach.

Bert Prioritized Stage Time and Opportunity Over Stardom at the Start of His Career

Bert Kreischer's willingness to climb the comedy ladder was evident when he consistently approached Louis Schaffer, asking for a chance to perform stand-up, demonstrating an eagerness to take the stage by any means necessary. When faced with criticism from his father about his lack of success, Bert took the harsh advice to heart, going to a comedy club on his birthday and offering to do any necessary task for the opportunity to perform. His father's guidance, which may have included tasks such as cleaning or flipping burgers, set Bert on a path to seek opportunities over stardom.

Bert Was Willing to Do any Task, Even Cleaning or Flipping Burgers

While no specific tales of Bert performing menial jobs like cleaning or flipping burgers were provided, the overarching theme of his early career was his readiness to embrace any role that would provide him the chance to gain stage time and enhance his comedic craft.

Will Smith Boosted Bert's Career To Success

Validation From an Icon Boosted Bert's Confidence and Opened Doors

Bert Kreischer acknowledges the profound impact that Will Smith had on his career trajectory. Six months into his comedy stint, being discovered by Will Smith and landing a six-figure development deal was a pivotal moment, which not only impressed his father but also marked a significant step in his career. Bert vividly recalls a pre-pitch bathroom pep talk from Smith, whose advice to simply "be yourself" contributed to Bert's ability to sell a sitcom to ABC that very day.

Bert's "Enjoy the Moment" Career Mentality

Bert Savors Each Achievement, Whether a Netflix Special or Sold-Out Arenas, Rather Than Chasing the Next Big Thing

Bert Kreischer's career philosophy revolves around savoring each achievement. He treasures each step of his journey, from riding in a town car to performing in theaters, and takes time to appreci ...

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Bert's Path to Comedy Success and Career Approach

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • You can volunteer for various roles at local events to immerse yourself in different environments and increase your chances of unexpected opportunities. Start by offering your help at community theaters, open mic nights, or local festivals, not just in roles that align with your interests but in any capacity. This could lead to networking with people who can offer you the opportunities you seek.
  • Create a "Savor the Moment" journal where you write down one experience each day that you truly enjoyed. This could be as simple as a conversation with a friend, a meal you relished, or a task you completed. The act of writing it down will help you practice being present and appreciating the small wins in yo ...

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Comedian Bert Kreischer: My Constant Battle with My Inner Critic (Overcoming Anxiety, Chasing Approval & The Pressure to Be Funny)

Bert's Family, Marriage, and Relationship With Daughters

Bert Kreischer candidly discusses the nuances of his family life, emphasizing the importance of a playful approach to serious matters, the influential perspectives of his daughters on his parenting, and his deep appreciation for the love and support his family provides.

Bert and Leanne's Playful, Joking Relationship Helps Them Navigate Challenges

Bert's marriage with Leanne thrives on humor and the ability to laugh together, even in potentially serious situations. Whether it's determining the "winner" of a couples therapy session or navigating unexpected mishaps like Leanne farting during oral sex, the couple manages to preserve fun in their relationship. Leanne's influence on Bert's comedy is also critical, ensuring that his material reflects their loving relationship, especially when dealing with sensitive topics.

Daughters' Perspectives Evolved His Fatherhood

The playful dynamic continues with his daughters, who are unafraid to tease and challenge Bert. They humorously create chat threads and share unflattering pictures, fostering an emotionally open and close relationship. Such engagements have evolved Bert's approach to fatherhood, encouraging greater emotional presence. His parenting adapted further when his daughters confronted him about his stand-up content, compelling him to at ...

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Bert's Family, Marriage, and Relationship With Daughters

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • You can create a "Family Comedy Night" where each member shares jokes or funny stories, encouraging a culture of humor and playfulness. This regular event can become a safe space for everyone to express themselves humorously, strengthening bonds and making serious discussions more approachable through laughter.
  • Start a "Family Council" where children are given a platform to voice their opinions on family decisions, mirroring a board meeting but with a casual twist. This can be a monthly sit-down where kids can suggest activities, changes in household rules, or discuss their views on various topics, thereby valuing their perspectives and fostering mutual respect.
  • Develop a "Memory Jar" where each family mem ...

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Comedian Bert Kreischer: My Constant Battle with My Inner Critic (Overcoming Anxiety, Chasing Approval & The Pressure to Be Funny)

Bert's Views on Alcohol and Authenticity

Bert Kreischer discusses his relationship with alcohol, his commitment to authenticity, and how that honesty has helped him build a meaningful connection with his audience.

Bert Enjoys Partying but Sees Downsides

Bert Celebrates With Alcohol but Struggles With Dependency

Bert Kreischer acknowledges that alcohol is poison, implying a general understanding of its unhealthy aspects. His use of alcohol, as he describes, focuses on its social benefits, such as "letting loose" and permitting oneself to have a good time. While not explicitly detailing a struggle with dependency, Bert does imply a connection with alcohol, mentioning a conversation with Rogan that occurred under the influence.

Bert Prioritizes Authenticity Over Fitting a Persona

Bert Presents His Genuine Self, Not Curating an Image

Kreischer speaks on the importance of authenticity and the personal choice to not curate an image for others. Despite having a partier image, Bert shares his sensitive side, revealing that personal experiences and feelings are profoundly important to him. He talks about his emotional engagement with intimate partners and surprises people with his depth, indicating that he values genuine connections over playing a stereotypical cool guy.

Bert has prioritized being transparent throughout his career, focusing on being himself rather than playing a character. His openness extends to sharing his experiences with anxiety and mental health, emphasizing the importance of expressing whatever he thinks.

Moreover, despite receiving ...

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Bert's Views on Alcohol and Authenticity

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While Bert enjoys the social benefits of alcohol, it's important to consider that promoting such behavior could inadvertently encourage excessive drinking among fans who may not have the same self-awareness or control.
  • Emphasizing authenticity is commendable, but there's a fine line between being genuine and oversharing, which can sometimes lead to unintended consequences or set unrealistic expectations for others in the public eye.
  • Being transparent about struggles with anxiety and mental health is valuable, but it's also crucial to ensure that such disclosures are coupled with a message about seeking professional help and not just used for relatability.
  • Choosing to remain shirtless as a part of one's identity can be seen as a genuine expression of self; however, it could also be critiqued as a gimmick that detracts from the substance of the performance.
  • Building a strong connection with fans through candidness is powerful, but it's also important to maintain professional bou ...

Actionables

  • You can embrace your quirks by choosing a unique accessory or clothing item that reflects your personality and wearing it consistently in social settings. This could be as simple as a distinctive hat, a piece of jewelry, or even a type of shoe that becomes your signature. Over time, this will help you become more comfortable with your identity and encourage others to recognize and appreciate your authenticity.
  • Start a conversation about a personal challenge or success in a casual social setting, like a coffee shop or at a dinner with friends. By sharing your own experiences with mental health or personal growth, you create an environment where openness is valued and encourage others to share their stories, fostering genuine connections.
  • Create a small, i ...

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