In this episode of On Purpose, Jay Shetty explores practical strategies for managing negative thoughts and emotional responses. Drawing from both ancient wisdom and modern research, he examines the concept of impermanence from the Bhagavad Gita and discusses how understanding life's temporary nature can help maintain inner peace.
The episode covers research-backed methods for emotional management, including physical actions like writing down and discarding negative thoughts. Shetty explains the relationship between physical spaces and mental well-being, noting how clutter affects stress levels and sleep quality. He also introduces the Buddhist concept of "two arrows" to help reframe difficult situations, offering specific questions to shift from reactive thinking to proactive problem-solving.
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The Bhagavad Gita teaches that happiness and distress are like seasons that come and go, suggesting that understanding life's impermanence is key to maintaining inner peace. This concept is illustrated in the Zen story of a farmer who refuses to label events as good or bad, recognizing that circumstances are constantly changing.
Research supports various physical methods for managing emotions. A 2024 Nagoya University study found that writing down and physically discarding negative thoughts can reduce anger. Similarly, studies show that symbolic acts like burning photographs of ex-partners can aid in emotional healing and closure.
Research has shown that clutter can impair brain function and increase stress hormones, particularly cortisol levels in women. Jay Shetty suggests organizing spaces like a hotel, with designated places for items, and emphasizes the importance of creating a visually pleasing first morning sight to positively impact mood. He also notes that bedroom clutter can negatively affect sleep quality, suggesting that an organized space contributes to better rest and emotional well-being.
Jay Shetty shares Buddhist teaching about "two arrows," explaining that while pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. The first arrow represents unavoidable life pain, while the second represents our reactive narrative about that pain. Instead of asking "why is this happening," Shetty recommends focusing on proactive questions like "What can I do about it?" and "What skill is this asking me to develop?" This approach activates the prefrontal cortex, fostering intentional responses rather than automatic reactions to pain.
1-Page Summary
Understanding and accepting the impermanence of life's events can be a powerful way to maintain peace and let go of negative emotions.
The Bhagavad Gita teaches that happiness and distress are to be viewed like the seasons, which come and go. One must learn to endure these changes without being disturbed. Just as one recognizes the impermanent nature of a rainy or sunny day, understanding this concept is key to maintaining inner peace through life's inevitable ups and downs.
The story of the farmer whose son finds a horse illustrates the Zen understanding of impermanence well. Villagers hastily label the events—finding the horse, the son breaking his leg, the son avoiding conscription to the army—as good or bad, but the farmer does not. He understands that situations are fluid, and labeling them is unhelpful since circumstances often change.
Writing negative thoughts down and then physically discarding the paper can be helpful. This act extracts the emotion and allows one to tactically engage with the thought. Actions like ripping up or burning the written thought can be a physical means of letting go of the emotion.
A study from Nagoya University in 2024 supports this idea, finding that participants who wrote down their angry thoughts and then shredded or discarded the paper felt significantly less ...
Embracing Impermanence and Letting Go
The act of cleaning and decluttering not only brings a sense of order to our living spaces but also offers significant benefits for managing our thoughts and emotions.
Clutter in our physical environment can lead to cognitive overload, competing for our attention and making it difficult to focus and process information efficiently. The constant visual distraction of clutter impairs brain function, as found by studies using fMRI scans which showed that individuals in organized environments had better concentration and information processing abilities than those in cluttered spaces.
Clutter can significantly elevate stress levels. In particular, research has highlighted that women who perceive their homes as cluttered have higher levels of cortisol, a hormone associated with stress. Conversely, organizing your space can reduce these stress hormones. A clutter-free environment can mitigate negative emotions such as confusion, tension, and irritability, while an organized one can enhance feelings of calmness and general well-being.
Jay Shetty uses the analogy of a hotel to suggest how we might organize our homes more effectively. Each item should have its designated place to help maintain order. Shetty also suggests organizing in a way that ensures the first visual contact in the morning is something that sparks joy, as opp ...
Using Physical Actions to Manage Thoughts and Emotions
Shetty shares insights on breaking the cycle of overthinking and reducing suffering through the practical application of Buddhist teachings and proactive thinking.
Shetty shares a teaching from Buddhism regarding the two arrows, which suggests that pain is an inevitable part of life, but suffering is a choice. The first arrow represents the unavoidable pains of life, while the second arrow is the reactive narrative we create about that pain. He mentions that it's not the pain but what we make of it that leads to suffering. Thus, understanding this can help individuals turn pain into progress rather than unnecessary suffering.
Rather than asking "why is this happening to me?" Shetty recommends asking proactive questions such as "What can I do about it?", "What skill is this asking me to develop?", "What is this reminding me that I've forgotten?", and "What wisdom is inside of this that I need to learn?" This transforms the perspective from one of suffering to one of growth, focusing on actionable steps and the lessons that can be gained from negative experiences.
Shetty indicates that shifting the narrative away from a focus on "why" something happened to a stance that looks for solutions and growth can mitigate suffering. By replacing automatic thoughts with intentional, proactive questions, individuals activate the prefrontal cortex of the brain, which is associated with ...
Shifting Perspective to Reduce Overthinking and Suffering
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