Humble the Poet: Transform Your Relationship With Anxiety (6 Strategies for Overthinkers

Humble the Poet and Shetty suggest a different perspective on anxiety, seeing it not as a problem to cure but as a crucial signal to growth and understanding of oneself.

Anxiety: A Signal, Not a Problem to Cure

Anxiety Reveals Our Internal State and External Circumstances

Humble the Poet proposes that instead of seeing anxiety as a fault that needs fixing, we should view it as a signal that unveils both our internal state and external situations. He likens feelings of anxiety to a smoke detector, suggesting that they signal issues we should address rather than ignore. For instance, anxiety can alert us to concerns about job security or appearance, or arise from challenging experiences such as being in a naked sauna, shedding light on our internal worries and the influence of our surroundings. Shetty speaks to the hidden anxieties inherited from family environments, often taking years to realize their presence, further reinforcing the idea that anxiety is deeply tied to personal history and formative circumstances.

Transforming Anxiety: From Management to Growth

Treating Anxiety With Grace Builds Strength and Resilience

According to Humble the Poet, treating oneself with grace when experiencing anxiety is crucial. It's not the anxious feelings that cause harm, but the resistance to and avoidance of them. Anxiety can stem from things we can't control, reminders of past danger, or from simply stepping out of our comfort zone. Sharing vulnerable stories, for example, invites nervousness due to fear of judgment, showcasing how anxiety reveals our fear of social evaluation. Instead of medicating, avoiding, or distracting ourselves from anxiety, understanding and responding with self-compassion is advocated.

Humble the Poet also refers to the amygdala or "survival brain," which is quick to perceive danger even in non-threatening challenges or discomfort. He rejects the harmful notion of perpetual productivity and the misguided glory in suffering or burnout. Recognizing one's own limits and not pushing oneself into burnout is part of building resilience.

Discomfort and Challenges: An Opportunity For Growth, Not Just a Problem

Humble the Poet emphasizes e ...

The speakers share insight into approaches of building mental resilience and emotional strength by redefining our relationship with struggle and discomfort.

Training Mental Health Like a Muscle, Not a Fragile State

See Challenges and Struggles as Growth Invitations, Not Threats

Humble the Poet suggests reframing mental health as akin to a muscle, asserting that struggles are vehicles for developing resilience and strength. He advocates viewing negative experiences as data for self-awareness rather than setbacks. Further, Humble the Poet touches upon the tendency of taking on other people's pain due to a lack of belief in their resilience, leading to increased personal anxiety. Jay Shetty underlines the importance of setting and respecting boundaries as steps toward self-protection and mental resilience.

Humble the Poet also discusses intentionally facing discomfort, like exposing oneself to cold, to foster resilience. He reflects on his experience of training in the cold and how engaging in the practice made him feel resilient—although he also acknowledges that losing this practice diminished his ability to withstand the cold. He advocates for continued challenges that intentionally push one’s comfort zone to build this mental resilience, suggesting activities like cold showers or holding yoga poses. These are designed to take us to the point where the mind wants to give up, so that by pushing through, we strengthen our resolve.

Moreover, Humble the Poet emphasizes the significance of being one's own proponent, considering whether self-criticism is constructive, and trusting oneself based on past experiences. He suggests that confidence and the ability to productively address life's challenges come from training the mind in this way. Humble the Poet and Shetty both speak to the notion that by viewing challenges and anxiety triggers as invitations for growth, we can lean into discomfort and expand our capabilities.

Small Steps, Consistent Effort, Building Momentum

Confidence and Motivation Follow Action

Humble the Poet likens the process of growth to learning to read—starting small and building complexity over time. He points out that adults often shy away from struggle, which can stunt development. He mentions that showing up for challenges, even with minimal motivation, and taking even small steps can eventually build significant momentum. An example includes going to the gym for just five minutes as a start.

Jay Shetty echoes this sentiment by explaining how the avoidance of activities, like exercise, led to decreased strength, and it was through showing up consistently and tackling challenges that he built his confidence and motivation. Confidence, he notes, is built after achievements, not before.

Humble the Poet emphasizes the necessity for practice, allow ...

Humble the Poet sheds light on the impact of social media, the journey of self-discovery, and the emotional growth from life's difficulties in a conversation about creating a meaningful life and relationships.

Limiting Social Media to Reduce Social Comparison and External Validation

Humble the Poet critiques social media for presenting people's highlight reels rather than their full reality, leading to unhealthy comparisons and a loss of joy. Reducing consumption can decrease opportunities for such comparisons.

Others' Highlights Don't Reflect Full Experience

He points out that what's often shown on social media is not the complete experience of people's lives, emphasizing that these curated moments don't account for the true, behind-the-scenes reality.

Discovering and Honoring Unique Values, Interests, and Communities

The importance of understanding and honoring unique values and interests is discussed to reduce the stress and anxiety that comes from trying to fit in where one does not belong.

Seeking Spaces to Be Oneself, Not Just Fit In

Humble the Poet encourages finding communities where people's authentic interests align, such as art or MMA, rather than forcing oneself to fit into groups based on superficial categories. By exploring self-discovery and sharing that journey, individuals can find true belonging. Jay and Humble highlight the benefits of being authentic in social settings to create deep, meaningful connections, even if it means standing out from the crowd.

Embracing Growth From a "Broken Heart" or Disrupted Expectations

The discussion transitions to the idea of emotional growth stemming from disappointing experiences and how acknowledging and ...

In a world full of expectation and uncertainty, Humble the Poet and Jay Shetty discuss ways to mitigate stress and existential anxiety by reframing our understanding of time, legacy, and mortality.

Reframing Time, Legacy, and Mortality to Reduce Stress

Acknowledging Life's Impermanent and Insignificant Problems

Humble the Poet and Jay Shetty advise that many of life’s problems are temporary and less critical than they may seem. They explore the concept of impermanence and insignificance, teachings rooted in Stoicism and Buddhism, as a method for reducing the stress individuals place on themselves. By recognizing life as a continuous experience rather than a series of beginnings and endings, people can gain perspective on the relative significance of their issues. This viewpoint can alleviate the pressure of chasing a legacy, as demonstrated by Humble the Poet's reflection on the Queen of England, who, despite her status, is not in daily thoughts after passing.

Letting Go Of "Shoulds" and Linear Life Expectations

Embracing Growth's Cycles and Unpredictability

Jay Shetty criticizes the self-imposed pressures of maintaining habits, like working out, and the guilt that comes when these habits are interrupted by events like travel. He encourages giving oneself grace and taking breaks, which can renew one's excitement for these activities upon returning to them. He also addresses the detrimental effect of burdening oneself with "shoulds," suggesting that it prevents genuine behavior changes and progress.

Humble the Poet urges acceptance of change as a constant, as resisting it can cause self-harm. He promotes the idea that life is cyclical, not linear, where growth from challenges makes one stronger and more compassionate. Rather than viewing difficulties as indications of trauma or toxicity, he champions trusting in one's own capacity to handle life's trials.

Both speakers talk about societal pressures and expectations, such as the timeline for marriage or children, and the importance of setting personal standards and releasing judgment for genuine courage and growth. They discuss how perfectionism, rooted in ...