Hannah Berner: Why Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
On Purpose host Jay Shetty sits down with Hannah Berner, comedian and former tennis prodigy, to explore the power of following your intuition and embracing change. Berner shares how pivoting from tennis to comedy—a path she found more fulfilling—taught her the importance of self-awareness and pursuing genuine passions over external measures of success.
The conversation touches on navigating relationships, too: Berner reflects on how valuing vulnerability and compatibility in her marriage has allowed her to cultivate authenticity and fulfillment. Throughout, she advocates for attuning to one's inner voice and desires, even when it means leaving behind pursuits or situations that feel unaligned.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Mar 19, 2025 episode of the On Purpose with Jay Shetty
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1-Page Summary
Career Pivots and Dealing With Adversity
Hannah Berner transitioned from aspiring tennis pro to successful comedian by trusting her intuition and embracing change. Though determined from age 7, Berner eventually quit tennis, realizing it wasn't the source of true fulfillment. After getting fired from reality TV—a "difficult experience where she felt misunderstood"—she poured energy into comedy, culminating in a Netflix special.
Berner sees quitting unfulfilling pursuits as growth, not failure. She left tennis because winning Wimbledon didn't align with her happiness. Berner encourages embracing career changes for greater satisfaction, suggesting finding purpose by reconnecting with early passions often pushed aside.
Importance of Self-Awareness and Following Your Intuition
Berner emphasizes listening to your body's signals for guidance. She followed her realization that anxiety and negative self-talk in tennis indicated it wasn't the right path, finding calm in comedy instead. Attuning to your inner voice, she says, is crucial for fulfillment, even if it means leaving unaligned situations.
Once worried about others' views of success, Berner now defines it for herself based on satisfaction and growth. She urges pursuing genuine passions over external status.
Navigating Relationships and Finding Fulfillment
In relationships, Berner values vulnerability and honesty over superficial qualities. Having been attracted to unavailable partners, she found fulfillment in a supportive marriage where she can be authentic.
Berner sees marriage as an ongoing conversation. She advises choosing partners able to provide companionship through life's challenges, not just initial courtship excitement. In her marriage, she prioritizes compatibility, communication and shared values over status or appearance.
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Counterarguments
- While trusting intuition is valuable, it's also important to balance it with practical considerations such as financial stability and long-term career prospects.
- Quitting unfulfilling pursuits can be seen as growth, but it's also essential to recognize the value of perseverance and overcoming challenges in certain situations.
- Embracing career changes can lead to greater satisfaction, but it may also come with risks such as loss of income, job security, and the need to start from scratch in a new field.
- Reconnecting with early passions is a beautiful idea, but it's not always feasible or practical for everyone, especially if those passions don't translate into viable career opportunities.
- Listening to one's body's signals is important, but sometimes discomfort and anxiety can be a part of growth and learning in a career, rather than a sign to leave it.
- Defining success based on personal satisfaction and growth is subjective and may not always align with societal measures of success, which can impact social standing and opportunities.
- Pursuing genuine passions over external status is noble, but in some industries, status can be a significant factor in success and can't be entirely disregarded.
- Valuing vulnerability and honesty in relationships is important, but there should also be a balance with maintaining personal boundaries and ensuring mutual respect.
- While a supportive marriage is ideal, it's also important to maintain individuality and personal growth outside of the relationship.
- Advising to choose partners for companionship through life's challenges is sound, but it's also important to maintain a sense of romance and passion to keep the relationship vibrant.
- Prioritizing compatibility, communication, and shared values is crucial, but there should also be room for differences and individual growth within a marriage.
Actionables
- Create a "Passion Timeline" by drawing a line on a piece of paper and marking significant moments from childhood to present where you felt most alive and fulfilled. Reflect on these moments to identify patterns or forgotten passions that might guide your current career and life choices.
- Develop a "Body-Mind Feedback Journal" where you record daily physical sensations and emotional responses to different activities. Use this to recognize patterns that might indicate a need for change, such as consistent stress during certain tasks or joy in unexpected moments.
- Organize a "Values-Based Speed Dating" event with friends or colleagues, where instead of romantic matches, you discuss core values and life goals to practice vulnerability and identify potential mentors, collaborators, or friends who align with your personal ethos.
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Career Pivots and Dealing With Adversity
Hannah Berner's journey from aspiring tennis player to successful comedian showcases the transformative power of trusting intuition and embracing change.
Hannah Transitioned Careers From Tennis To Comedy By Trusting Her Intuition and Embracing Change
Hannah Pursued Ambitious Dreams, Like Professional Tennis, but Learned to Adapt When a Career Didn't Feel Right
From the age of seven, Hannah was determined to become a professional tennis player despite being told she started too late. A driven individual, she aspired to be different and great. Hannah played tennis at the University of Wisconsin, aiming for a professional career if she had an outstanding season. However, after being hit by a car and a difficult recovery leading to losing several close matches, she decided to pivot away from tennis, which had left her feeling burnt out and like a "punching bag." Despite attempting entertainment in various forms, including reality TV and working at a company, these avenues also didn't sit right with her.
Fired From Reality Tv, Hannah's Setbacks Fueled Her Comedy Success and Netflix Special
Despite facing severe anxiety in tennis, Hannah found calm in stand-up comedy, where she did not feel that anxiety transfer onto the stage. Hannah's decision to leave tennis came from recognizing that it was an unhealthy addiction, hooked on the highs and drama despite the anxiety. Her career shift from tennis to comedy materialized because she felt there was more happiness elsewhere. After being let go from reality TV—a difficult experience where she felt misunderstood—Hannah directed her energy towards a new path in comedy, culminating in the filming of a Netflix special.
Hannah Sees Leaving Unfulfilling Pursuits as Growth, Not Failure
Hannah Quit Tennis, Recognizing It Wasn't the Right Fit Despite Success Perceptions
Although she pursued tennis her whole life, Hannah questioned the time spent after not winning Wimbledon. The potential for professional success didn't align with her happiness, leading her to explore other options. She chose to quit tennis not as a failure but as a quest for spaces more suitable for her happiness and growth.
Encouraging Career Change for Greater Happiness
Hannah's post-tennis endeavors took turns through video production and reality TV before being fired. She suggests not fitting in on a reality TV show was a positive outcome, propelling her towards comedy. ...
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Career Pivots and Dealing With Adversity
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Actionables
- Reflect on your current career satisfaction by keeping a daily journal for a month, noting moments of joy and frustration. This practice will help you identify patterns in your work life that align or conflict with your personal values and happiness. For example, if you consistently write about feeling energized when working on creative projects but drained during routine tasks, it might indicate a need for a career shift towards a more creative field.
- Experiment with a new hobby or side project for 30 days to explore potential interests outside of your current career path. Choose something you've always been curious about but never tried, like painting, coding, or writing. This can serve as a low-risk way to test new waters and may lead to unexpected opportunities or insights into what truly fulfills you.
- Create a 'Growth Opportunities' board w ...
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Importance of Self-Awareness and Following Your Intuition
Hannah Berner emphasizes the significance of self-awareness and trusting one's inner voice for true fulfillment and personal success in life.
Hannah Trusts and Listens To Her Body's Signals
Hannah shares her journey, highlighting the importance of listening to the body's signals for personal guidance and decision-making.
Following Her Realization That Anxiety and Negative Self-Talk Hindered Her In Tennis, Hannah Trusted Her Intuition, Finding Stand-Up Comedy As a Better Outlet
Despite having dreams from a young age, Berner faced anxiety and negative self-talk during her tennis career. This led her to realize that not every path that gives us anxiety is right for us. She found calm and authenticity in stand-up comedy, recognizing it as a more suitable and expressive outlet for her talents.
Attuning To Your Inner Voice Is Crucial for Fulfillment, Even if It Means Leaving Unaligned Situations
Hannah underlines the importance of listening to the inner voice, which often signals whether we are in the right situation. She trusted her intuition, leading her away from the discomforts of competitive tennis and toward the perks of comedy. In her experience, aligning with one’s inner voice is fundamental to achieving personal joy and fulfillment.
Hannah Values Self-Knowledge Over External Validation
Hannah has transitioned from seeking external approval to defining success on her own terms, advising others to prioritize individual passions and happiness.
Once Worried About Others' Views of ...
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Importance of Self-Awareness and Following Your Intuition
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Counterarguments
- While self-awareness and intuition are valuable, they should be balanced with rational decision-making and evidence-based approaches to avoid potential biases and errors in judgment.
- Listening to one's body is important, but it should not replace seeking professional medical or psychological advice when necessary.
- Transitioning to a new career like stand-up comedy may not be a viable option for everyone, as it requires a specific set of skills and may not provide financial stability.
- Attuning to one's inner voice can be beneficial, but it's also important to consider external feedback and constructive criticism for personal and professional growth.
- Defining success on one's own terms is empowering, but societal norms and expectations can still play a significant role in one's o ...
Actionables
- You can create a "decision diary" to track how your inner voice guides you. Start by jotting down any significant decisions you face each day, noting how you feel physically and emotionally at the time. After making the decision, reflect on it a week later to see if following your gut led to a positive outcome. This practice will help you become more attuned to your body's signals and trust your inner guidance system.
- Develop a personal "success blueprint" that aligns with your values and passions. Take some time to write down what personal growth and satisfaction mean to you, independent of others' opinions. Use this blueprint to set goals and make decisions, ensuring they contribute to your definition of success. Revisit and adjust this blueprint as you evolve to keep your actions and goals aligned with your authentic self.
- Engage in a monthly "passion project" that resonates with your interests. Ch ...
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Navigating Relationships and Finding Fulfillment
Hannah Berner’s reflections on relationships offer insights into how self-awareness can lead to finding true fulfillment in partnerships.
Hannah Has Applied Self-Awareness To Her Relationships
Attracted To Unavailable Partners, She Found Fulfillment In a Supportive Marriage
Hannah Berner candidly admits to having been attracted to emotionally unavailable men and pursuing good-looking men as a form of empowerment. However, she has found fulfillment in a supportive marriage with a partner who sees her truly and accepts all that she brings to the relationship. She mentions that her husband met her during a tumultuous time, loving her at her worst, and their relationship has grown into a nurturing, supportive partnership.
Hannah Values Vulnerability and Honesty Over Superficial Qualities In Relationships
Hannah emphasizes the importance of being authentic with a partner over presenting superficial qualities. She jokes about being upfront with trauma on a first date to test compatibility, advocating for vulnerability and honesty early in a relationship. To her, the ability to be authentic with a partner is more valuable than superficial appearances or status.
Hannah Sees Marriage As a Lifelong Conversation
Choose Companions For Life's Challenges, Not Just Courtship Excitement
Reflecting on the nature of relationships, Hannah advises choosing a partner for their ability to be a supportive companion through life's challenges rather than the initial excitement of courtship. She stresses the significance of compatibility and communication in relationships, mentioning that crushes or temporary attraction differ from seeking a lifelong companion.
Hannah ...
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Navigating Relationships and Finding Fulfillment
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Counterarguments
- While Hannah values vulnerability and honesty, some might argue that there is a time and place for sharing personal traumas, and that revealing too much too soon can be overwhelming or off-putting for potential partners.
- The idea of choosing a partner for their ability to be a supportive companion through life's challenges is sound, but it's also important to acknowledge that people and circumstances change, and what works at one stage of life may not work in another.
- Prioritizing compatibility, communication, and shared values is important, but some might point out that physical attraction and status can also play significant roles in the initial stages of a relationship and can contribute to long-term satisfaction and fulfillment.
- Viewing marriage as an ongoing conversation is a healthy perspective, but it's also worth noting that some individuals may find fulfillment in independence or in relationships that don't conform to traditional marriage.
- Emphasizing the importance of communica ...
Actionables
- You can deepen your understanding of a partner's values by creating a "values journal" where you both write down your thoughts on key life events and discuss them during weekly reflection sessions. This practice encourages vulnerability and honest communication, fostering a supportive environment similar to what Hannah described. For example, after a challenging day, you might write about how you navigated it, focusing on the values that guided your decisions, and then share and discuss these insights with your partner.
- Start a monthly "relationship audit" with your partner where you assess the health of your communication, compatibility, and shared values. Use a simple checklist to rate aspects like 'how well we understood each other this month' or 'how aligned our future goals seem,' then use the results as a springboard for deeper conversation. This can help maintain the ongoing conversation and focus on deeper connections that Hannah emphasized.
- Engage in a shared hobby or activity that requires teamwork and communication, such as taking a dance class ...
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