7 Ways to Train Your Brain to Go From Insecurity to Confidence
In this episode from the On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast, Shetty explores strategies for overcoming insecurity and cultivating genuine confidence. He delves into psychological barriers like perceiving challenges as threats rather than growth opportunities and an overwhelming fear of judgment.
Shetty also emphasizes the importance of recognizing your existing skills and competencies, even those deeply ingrained abilities you may undervalue. Beyond reframing mindsets, he offers practical advice: focusing outwardly on engaging with others, understanding the stages of learning, and taking charge of your agency. Ultimately, the episode equips listeners with tools to shift perspectives, overcome "imposter syndrome," and build a strong sense of self-assurance.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Feb 7, 2025 episode of the On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Sign up for Shortform to access the whole episode summary along with additional materials like counterarguments and context.
1-Page Summary
Overcoming Mental/Psychological Barriers To Confidence
Perceive Threats Positively: Reframe Challenges As Opportunities
According to Jay Shetty, we can shift our mindset by pausing to reframe challenges as growth opportunities instead of threats. This activates the prefrontal cortex to manage energy for growth rather than threat response. Shetty suggests rating perceived threats objectively to train the brain against overreacting to non-threatening situations.
Face Fear of Judgment; Focus Outward to Engage More With Others
Shetty explains how insecurity stems from the belief that others notice our flaws, when in reality most people focus inwardly on their own concerns - a phenomenon called the "spotlight effect." He advises engaging others, asking questions, and being interested in them rather than fixating on how we're perceived. This outward focus builds genuine confidence.
Identifying and Recognizing Your Existing Competencies
Appreciate Your Subconscious Skills and Abilities You May Undervalue
Shetty urges acknowledging the depth of ingrained skills and abilities we often take for granted, as identifying these natural strengths is key to building confidence.
Stages of Learning: Identify Your Position on the Journey
Understanding the four stages of learning - unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence, and unconscious competence - is important. Shetty highlights how reaching "conscious incompetence" by confronting weaknesses is an essential, if uncomfortable, step toward mastery.
Shifting Your Mindset and Perspective
Take Charge: Control, Validate, and Own Your Agency
Shetty discusses avoiding the "sunk cost fallacy" of remaining committed due to past investments rather than current value. He encourages self-awareness to move on from draining situations.
Use "False Consensus Effect" to Understand Others Aren't as Focused On Your Perceived Flaws
Beyond the "spotlight effect," Shetty explains the "false consensus effect" - overestimating how much others notice our mistakes when they're absorbed in their own self-scrutiny.
Overcome "Imposter Syndrome" By Noting the Gap Between Achievements and Self-Doubt
Shetty advises trusting your intelligence, achievements, and progress while retraining anxious thoughts rooted in feeling constantly threatened. He promotes balancing the value of success and failure to build genuine confidence.
1-Page Summary
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- Reframing challenges as growth opportunities may not always be feasible, especially in situations of trauma or extreme stress where a person's capacity to perceive positively is significantly impaired.
- Rating perceived threats objectively can be difficult due to inherent biases and emotional responses that are not easily controlled or rationalized.
- Focusing outward to engage with others might not address deeper issues of self-esteem and could potentially lead to avoidance of personal issues that need attention.
- Appreciating subconscious skills and abilities is important, but overemphasis on innate strengths might lead to complacency and neglect the need for continuous learning and improvement.
- Identifying one's position on the learning journey is useful, but the model may oversimplify the complexity of human learning and development.
- Taking charge of one's agency and avoiding the sunk cost fallacy is sound advice, but there are situations where perseverance and commitment, despite past investments, can lead to long-term success.
- Understanding the false consensus effect is helpful, but it might not alleviate the deep-seated feelings of those with social anxiety or other psychological conditions that intensify the perception of judgment.
- Overcoming imposter syndrome by trusting achievements might not address the root causes of the syndrome, such as systemic biases or a lack of representation that can perpetuate feelings of being an imposter.
Actionables
- Create a "Growth Diary" where you jot down daily challenges and reframe them as opportunities, noting the skills you could develop from each situation. This practice encourages you to see obstacles in a positive light and trains your brain to approach difficulties with a growth mindset. For example, if you face a tough project at work, write down how tackling it could improve your project management skills.
- Develop a "Threat Meter" app or spreadsheet where you log and rate perceived threats on a scale of 1-10 based on actual impact, not just initial feelings. This helps you to objectively assess situations and reduce overreactions. For instance, if you're nervous about public speaking, you might rate the actual threat to your well-being as a 2, reminding yourself that the fear is greater than the risk.
- Start a "Confidence Exchange" club where members meet regularly to practice focusing on others through active listening and sharing constructive feedback. This builds genuine confidence by shifting attention away from self and fostering a supportive community. In these meetings, you could role-play networking scenarios or give presentations, then discuss how focusing on the audience rather than your own performance changes the experience.
Related Shortform Content
Get access to the context and additional materials
Overcoming Mental/Psychological Barriers To Confidence
Unlocking confidence often involves breaking through mental and psychological barriers. Jay Shetty shares insights on how we can shift our mindset to perceive threats positively and reduce the fear of judgment.
Perceive Threats Positively: Reframe Challenges As Opportunities
Recognize and Shift From Fight-Or-flight To a Growth Mindset in Non-threatening Situations
Our brains are wired to protect us from danger, which can lead to overreaction in non-threatening situations. Shetty urges listeners to pause, take a breath, and tell themselves that what seems like a threat is, in fact, an opportunity. By reframing challenges as opportunities, one can switch from a threat-based mindset to a growth-focused one. You can override your brain's default fight-or-flight response by activating the prefrontal cortex and observing anxious thoughts objectively. This change allows your brain to manage energy for growth instead of threat management.
Jay Shetty suggests rating the severity of threats outside moments when you feel threatened and training the brain to stop perceiving every challenge as a risk. Reframing a non-threatening situation, such as a meeting, from a threat to an opportunity helps switch the brain from threat management to growth management.
Face Fear of Judgment; Focus Outward to Engage More With Others
Understand That People Focus More On Their Own Insecurities Than Yours, Helping You Let Go Of the "Spotlight Effect."
Shetty explains how insecurity can hinder personal and professional connections by making us believe others can sense our insecurity, thus affecting our confidence. However, he ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Overcoming Mental/Psychological Barriers To Confidence
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While reframing challenges as opportunities can be beneficial, it's important to acknowledge that not all challenges can or should be seen as opportunities. Some situations may require direct action to mitigate risks rather than a mindset shift.
- The advice to override the fight-or-flight response by activating the prefrontal cortex oversimplifies the complexity of the human brain and its responses to stress. It may not be feasible for everyone, especially those with anxiety disorders or trauma.
- Rating the severity of threats outside moments of feeling threatened might not always be practical or accurate, as individuals may struggle to objectively assess threats when not in the situation.
- The suggestion that people are more focused on their own insecurities might not hold true in all contexts, such as in highly competitive environments where individuals are more critically observed and judged.
- Turning attention outward and focusing on others can be helpful, but it's also important to maintain a balance and not neglect one's own needs and f ...
Actionables
- You can create a "Growth Opportunity Journal" where you document daily challenges and actively write down how they can be reframed as growth opportunities. This practice encourages you to see problems as chances to learn and develop new skills. For example, if you're nervous about public speaking, write about how each speaking event is a chance to improve your communication skills.
- Develop a "Threat Scale" tool to assess the actual risk of situations that trigger a stress response. Use a simple 1-10 scale to rate the severity of different scenarios when you're calm. This helps you put things into perspective when you're not under stress. For instance, getting feedback on a project might initially feel like an 8, but upon reflection, you might realize it's really only a 2 in terms of actual threat.
- Start a "Confidence Exchange" group ...
Get access to the context and additional materials
Identifying and Recognizing Your Existing Competencies
Jay Shetty offers guidance on recognizing and appreciating one's own capabilities, suggesting that people are often more skilled than they think.
Appreciate Your Subconscious Skills and Abilities You May Undervalue
Shetty urges listeners to acknowledge the depth of their skills and abilities that may often go unnoticed or are undervalued, perhaps because they're so ingrained that they seem insignificant.
Identify Natural Strengths to Build Confidence
Recognizing these natural strengths is critical for building confidence and understanding the value of one's inherent skills. Shetty encourages his audience to look within and appreciate these competencies that they possess.
Stages of Learning: Identify Your Position on the Journey
Understanding where one stands in the learning process is crucial for personal growth and skill development.
From Unconscious to Conscious Incompetence: A Key Step to Mastery
Shetty maps out the four stages of learning, which begin with "unconscious incompetence," moving up to "conscious incompetence," then to "conscious competence," and finally arriving at "unconscious competence." Acknowledging progress is important, yet often overlooked, as people rarely give themselves credit for how far they have come in ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Identifying and Recognizing Your Existing Competencies
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While recognizing natural strengths can build confidence, overemphasis on inherent abilities may lead to complacency and neglect the importance of hard work and continuous learning.
- The model of the four stages of learning is a simplification and may not capture the complexity of the learning process for every individual or skill.
- Acknowledging progress is important, but excessive self-congratulation can potentially hinder further improvement by creating a sense of premature satisfaction.
- The discomfort of conscious incompetence might sometimes discourage individuals from continuing to learn, especially if not properly supported or motivated.
- Perseverance is indeed fundamental for growth, but it shou ...
Actionables
- Create a 'skill inventory' to uncover hidden talents by listing daily tasks and identifying the skills they require, such as problem-solving in planning a meal or time management in juggling chores. This can help you see the value in everyday abilities and boost confidence in your skill set.
- Use a learning journal to track your progress through the four stages of learning for a new hobby or skill, noting feelings, challenges, and breakthroughs. This practice can make you more aware of your growth and help you embrace the discomfort of conscious incompetence as a natural step towards mastery.
- Start a 'pers ...
Related Shortform Content
Get access to the context and additional materials
Shifting Your Mindset and Perspective
Jay Shetty delves into how misunderstood psychological effects can tie into our professional and personal lives, posing challenges but also offering a route to improve one’s vision of themselves and the world around them.
Take Charge: Control, Validate, and Own Your Agency
Shetty explores the notion of the "sunk cost fallacy," which is the commitment to continue something based mainly on past investments rather than its current value.
Avoid the "Sunk Cost Fallacy" By Moving On From Unbeneficial Situations Despite Past Investments
Insecurity can thrive in situations of perceived failure or where there's a belief in being stuck in unbeneficial dynamics due to past investments. He encourages self-awareness in recognizing and walking away from draining situations that have ceased to add value, like toxic relationships or unfulfilling careers. Shetty uses the example of staying in a job for years, despite it no longer being fulfilling, just because of the time already invested. Shetty urges people to take control by acknowledging when a situation or mindset no longer serves them and to grant themselves permission to move on.
Use "False Consensus Effect" to Understand Others Aren't as Focused On Your Perceived Flaws
Shetty discusses how personal insecurities may stem from a misperception that everyone else is closely scrutinizing our flaws.
People Focus More On Self-Scrutiny Than Evaluating You
He explains the "spotlight effect," which is the overestimation of the extent to which others observe our actions or appearance, urging us to realize that others are usually too wrapped up in their own concerns to scrutinize us. Furthermore, Shetty talks about the "false consensus effect," which makes us overestimate how much others notice our mistakes, whereas they are mostly preoccupied with their own situations and self-scrutiny.
Overcome "I ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Shifting Your Mindset and Perspective
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While moving on from unbeneficial situations is often wise, it's important to consider the potential benefits of perseverance and commitment, especially in contexts where consistency and long-term effort are key to success.
- In some cases, others' perceptions can be important, such as in professional settings where reputation and image can impact career opportunities, so it's not always advisable to completely disregard how others view you.
- Self-scrutiny by others can sometimes provide valuable feedback; it's not always a negative thing to be evaluated by peers, as it can lead to personal and professional growth.
- Overcoming imposter syndrome is important, but it's also crucial to maintain a level of humility and openness to learning, as overconfidence can lead to overlooking one's own areas for improvement.
- While it's beneficial to balance the value of success and failure, it's also important to recognize that some failures can have significant consequences th ...
Actionables
- Create a "Let Go" journal where you write down aspects of your life that feel misaligned with your goals, and next to each, brainstorm actionable steps to pivot away from them. For example, if you identify that scrolling through social media is making you feel inadequate, you might set a daily limit or unfollow accounts that trigger those feelings.
- Develop a "Self-Accomplishment Timeline" where you visually map out your achievements, big or small, to visually affirm your capabilities and counteract imposter syndrome. You could use a corkboard and pin notes or images representing each achievement, creating a physical representation of your successes to look at when doubts arise.
- Practice "Anxiety Reframing" by carrying a small notebook where yo ...
Get access to the context and additional materials
Create Summaries for anything on the web
Download the Shortform Chrome extension for your browser
