Podcasts > On Purpose with Jay Shetty > Alicia Keys: 5 Ways to Overcome Self Doubt & Build Confidence Within

Alicia Keys: 5 Ways to Overcome Self Doubt & Build Confidence Within

By iHeartPodcasts

On this episode of On Purpose with Jay Shetty, Alicia Keys shares her personal growth journey and discusses methods for overcoming self-doubt and fostering self-acceptance. Keys delves into developing practices like meditation, journaling, and embracing ancient rituals to find holistic wellness and nurture mind-body connection.

The episode explores Keys' approach to conscious parenting, aiming to instill emotional intelligence in her children. Keys also touches upon her creative process, including lessons learned from the years developing her musical "Hell's Kitchen"—balancing patience, collaboration, and maintaining her core vision.

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Alicia Keys: 5 Ways to Overcome Self Doubt & Build Confidence Within

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Alicia Keys: 5 Ways to Overcome Self Doubt & Build Confidence Within

1-Page Summary

Alicia Keys' personal growth and overcoming self-doubt

Keys reflects on her journey of developing self-worth and overcoming self-doubt. She describes her earlier fears of rejection and anxieties over scarcity, stemming from a desire for acceptance and a childhood struggle with feelings of unworthiness.

Keys had to learn to silence negative self-talk, focus on her own intuition, and stop seeking external validation. She realized the importance of self-kindness and replacing self-criticism with positive affirmations.

Alicia Keys' development of holistic self-care

Keys discovered the mind-body connection through struggles with her skin and stress. This prompted her to embrace practices like meditation, journaling, and connecting with ancient rituals involving crystals and herbs.

Keys translated her self-care philosophy into a skincare line called "Keys Soul Care." The products contain affirmations linking tangible self-care with spiritual wellness, aiming to help users connect mindfully with themselves.

Alicia Keys' approach to parenting

Keys teaches wellness practices like meditation to her children by leading as an example. She aims to instill emotional intelligence while allowing autonomy and respecting her children's differing personalities.

Conscious of avoiding projecting her doubts onto her children, Keys communicates positively, avoids aggression, and hopes her children will trust themselves and pursue curiosities that bring joy.

Alicia Keys' creative process

Keys discusses her 13-year journey with the musical "Hell's Kitchen," which taught her patience and the value of collaboration while maintaining her core vision.

Keys has learned to balance her perfectionism with being open to others' input. She applies lessons from her music career to navigate the theater world, relying on experts to elevate the project according to her evolved understanding.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • You can create a personal mantra that aligns with your goals and repeat it during daily routines to reinforce self-worth. Start by identifying a quality or goal you want to focus on, such as confidence or resilience. Craft a short, positive statement that embodies this focus, like "I am resilient in the face of challenges." Integrate this mantra into your morning routine, say it out loud while looking in the mirror, or whisper it to yourself during stressful moments to internalize the message and boost your self-esteem.
  • Develop a "trust-your-gut" jar where you write down moments you successfully relied on your intuition. Whenever you make a decision that feels right to you, jot down the situation, the decision you made, and the outcome on a piece of paper. Place these notes in a jar or a box. Over time, you'll accumulate evidence of your intuition guiding you well, which can help silence negative self-talk and reinforce the value of trusting your instincts.
  • Initiate a creative collaboration project with friends or colleagues to practice patience and incorporate diverse perspectives. Choose a medium that's accessible to everyone involved, such as a group painting, a collective story, or a shared music playlist where each person contributes a song. Set ground rules that emphasize respect for each person's input and encourage open-mindedness. This activity can help you balance your own vision with the ideas of others, mirroring the collaborative skills discussed.

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Alicia Keys: 5 Ways to Overcome Self Doubt & Build Confidence Within

Alicia Keys' personal growth and overcoming self-doubt

Alicia Keys reflects on her personal evolution, uncovering the inner challenges she faced and the steps she took to conquer self-doubt and embrace self-worth.

Alicia experienced doubts, fears, and anxieties earlier in her career that stemmed from a desire to be accepted and protected from rejection.

Alicia Keys recalls the inherent self-doubt rooted in her childhood, driven by a self-protective instinct to shield herself from potential failure or disappointment. She faced the fear of being hurt by those she loved, as well as anxieties over scarcity, such as not having enough money or losing what she had achieved. Alicia also wrestled with the desire for acceptance, particularly as she became a public figure, which came hand in hand with the pressure of pleasing everyone. Her upbringing contributed to feelings of unworthiness that she had to consciously overcome.

Alicia had to learn to stop listening to the negative self-talk and doubt from others, and instead focus on developing her own intuition, beliefs, and self-worth.

Alicia recognizes the worst advice she ever received was the suggestion to change herself to meet others' expectations, even if it made her uncomfortable, because it would likely be well-received. The need to protect herself from emotional harm, she realized, was intertwined with a struggle with vulnerability and self-doubt. To grow, Alicia learned not to rely on external validation but to trust her intuition, stand by her decisions, and embrace her beliefs, regardless of the outcomes. She highlights the significance of silencing negative self-talk, replacing it with positive affirmations, and not letting the doubts and fears of her mother and peers impact her. She speaks about practicing self-kindness and nurturing herself with the same warmth she would expect from others, learning from her younger son's tendency to be hard on himself.

Alicia discovered that the key to her personal growth was being patient and trusting the timing of things, rather than pus ...

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Alicia Keys' personal growth and overcoming self-doubt

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Counterarguments

  • While Alicia Keys' approach to overcoming self-doubt through self-kindness and nurturing is valuable, it might not be a one-size-fits-all solution. Different individuals may require different strategies, such as seeking professional help or support groups.
  • The idea of trusting the timing of things and being patient can sometimes conflict with the need for proactive change or action in certain situations where waiting may not be beneficial.
  • The emphasis on not listening to negative self-talk and doubt from others could potentially lead to a dismissal of constructive criticism that could be essential for personal or professional growth.
  • The concept of silencing negative self-talk is important, but it's also crucial to acknowledge and address the root causes of such thoughts rather than just silencing them, which could lead to ignoring deeper issues.
  • The advice "Nothing before it's time" suggests a passive approach to life that might not resonate with everyone, especially those who ...

Actionables

  • Create a "Self-Worth Playlist" with songs that resonate with your personal journey and listen to it during moments of self-doubt. Music can be a powerful tool to shift your mindset. Choose songs that have lyrics affirming your value and potential, or that remind you of times you've overcome challenges. Play this playlist when you're feeling uncertain to help reinforce your self-belief.
  • Start a "Patience Journal" where you document instances where waiting or being patient led to positive outcomes. This can help you recognize the value of timing in your life. Each day, write down moments where you chose patience over haste and reflect on how those choices impacted the situation. Over time, this can help you develop a more intuitive understanding of when to take action and when to let things unfold.
  • Develop a "S ...

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Alicia Keys: 5 Ways to Overcome Self Doubt & Build Confidence Within

Alicia Keys' development of a holistic self-care practice and philosophy

Alicia Keys has developed a soulful approach to self-care, fusing physical, spiritual, and emotional wellness into a holistic practice. She shares her struggles, routines, and philosophy including the introduction of her own product line, "Keys Soul Care."

Alicia Keys struggled with her skin since her teenage years which caused her anxiety and self-consciousness. She discovered that her body physically reacts to stress with manifestations like skin issues. This realization prompted Alicia to find peace and identify activities that calm her spirit, which were essential since her commitments often left little room for such practices. She recognized the critical importance of tending to her soul's needs – a task that no one else could do for her. Alicia began to eliminate toxic energies from her life and embraced practices that nurtured her intuition and spiritual space.

Keys found solace in meditation, which she describes as a way to find center and quietness, and journaling has become a means for her to express her truth more freely than in conversations with others. Her self-care took form in engaging with the power and meanings behind crystals, something she became fascinated with after a trip to Egypt. In particular, she learned to appreciate lapis lazuli, a stone-known for providing courage and grounding. She even places these stones in her son's pocket to calm and ground him. Moreover, Keys enjoys drawing from ancient rituals, incorporating oils, herbs, and crystals into a bath routine that suggests a release of negative energy.

Alicia's "Keys Soul Care" philosophy and product line aim to blend physical self-care with spiritual and emotional wellness.

Alicia Keys' understanding of soul care translated into a comprehensive skincare line blending self-care with spiritual depth. Each product from the "Keys Soul Care" collection encapsulates affirmations that forge a connection with the user, urging them to stay present, trust their intuition, and foster self-acceptance. For instance, the affirmation on the illuminating serum, "I give myself permission to glow," stimulates a sense of empowerment, allowing individuals to embrace their success and happiness fully.

Moreover, Alicia's products have evocative names l ...

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Alicia Keys' development of a holistic self-care practice and philosophy

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Counterarguments

  • Skepticism about the efficacy of crystals and affirmations: While Alicia Keys finds personal value in using crystals and affirmations, there is a lack of scientific evidence supporting their effectiveness for everyone. Some people may not experience the same benefits, and it's important to recognize that these practices may not be universally effective.
  • The commercialization of self-care: Alicia Keys' product line, while aiming to promote wellness, is also a commercial venture. There could be concerns that the commercialization of self-care can detract from its more personal and individual aspects, turning it into a commodity rather than a personal practice.
  • Accessibility and inclusivity: High-end self-care products are not accessible to everyone due to their cost. This could be seen as contrary to the inclusive spirit of wellness, which ideally should be accessible to all individuals regardless of their economic status.
  • The potential for overemphasis on self-care products: There's a risk that emphasizing products in a self-care routine could overshadow the importance of more accessible and potentially more effective methods of self-care, such as exercise, sleep, and healthy eating, which do not require special products.
  • The placebo effect: So ...

Actionables

  • Create a personalized affirmation deck by writing down empowering statements on cards and pulling one each morning to set a positive tone for the day. By doing this, you create a tangible reminder of your self-worth and intentions, similar to how affirmations are used in product lines for self-care. For example, you might write "I am in harmony with my surroundings" or "My challenges bring opportunities for growth."
  • Design a DIY self-care kit by selecting items that resonate with your personal wellness journey, such as a favorite scented candle, a book of poetry for reflection, or a playlist of calming music. This kit can serve as your go-to resource for moments when you need to reconnect with yourself, much like how specific products are used to symbolize intentions. You might include a notebook for thoughts, a soft shawl for comfort, or a plant to nurture.
  • Organize a weekly "mind-body-spirit" hour where you engage in an activit ...

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Alicia Keys: 5 Ways to Overcome Self Doubt & Build Confidence Within

Alicia Keys' approach to parenting and passing on wellness practices

Alicia Keys shares insights into her parenting style, focusing on how she instills wellness practices, setting boundaries, and fostering emotional intelligence in her children.

Parenting with Intention and Example

Teaching Wellness Practices

Alicia Keys discusses her intention to keep her children grounded and emotionally intelligent through wellness practices like meditation, gratitude, and prayer. She understands the importance of leading by example, rather than simply instructing her kids, as the most effective method for passing on these values. For instance, she mentions adding a crystal in her son's pocket for support, reflecting her practice of incorporating elements that carry personal significance and encourage wellbeing.

Setting Boundaries and Allowing Autonomy

Keys speaks about teaching her children boundaries, particularly in public engagements, and encourages her son Genesis to set his own boundaries when he feels uncomfortable being recognized in school because of her fame. She appreciates when her son Egypt is recognized for his talents, separate from her celebrity status, as it allows him his own identity.

Alicia stresses the balance between imparting structure and affording her children the liberty to explore and express themselves. This nuanced parenting includes respecting her children's strong personalities and their right to voice their opinions. By observing their attributes and listening more, she allows Egypt and Genesis the space to feel, share, and speak freely, aiming to let them express themselves authentically.

Avoiding the Projection of Limiting Beliefs

Alicia Keys is conscious of not projecting her own doubts or limiting beliefs onto her children. She discusses th ...

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Alicia Keys' approach to parenting and passing on wellness practices

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While leading by example is a powerful method of teaching, children also need direct instruction and clear guidelines to fully understand and adopt wellness practices.
  • Personal elements like crystals may not have a scientifically proven effect on well-being and relying on them could detract from evidence-based approaches to wellness.
  • Teaching children to set their own boundaries is important, but they also need guidance from adults to understand what healthy boundaries look like, especially in complex social situations.
  • While allowing children autonomy is crucial, too much freedom without adequate supervision or guidance can lead to confusion or missteps that could have been avoided with more parental involvement.
  • Avoiding the projection of limiting beliefs is a noble goal, but it's also important to prepare children for the reality of societal expectations and limitations they may face.
  • Positive communication is essential, but there are times when more assertive communication may be necessary to ...

Actionables

  • You can create a family vision board to visually represent wellness goals and values, encouraging everyone to contribute their ideas and personal symbols of well-being. This activity fosters a sense of shared purpose and allows children to express what wellness means to them, whether it's through pictures of nature, drawings of activities that make them feel good, or images representing calm and peace.
  • Start a "Feelings Journal" for the family where each member can write down their emotions and thoughts without judgment. This practice can help in recognizing and respecting each person's emotional state, providing a non-confrontational way to communicate feelings. It can be especially helpful for children to articulate boundaries and for parents to understand their children's perspectives without projecting their own fears or beliefs.
  • Implement a "Positive Communication Chall ...

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Alicia Keys: 5 Ways to Overcome Self Doubt & Build Confidence Within

Alicia Keys' creative process and long-term projects

Alicia Keys offers insights into her creative process and the intricate journey of her long-term project, "Hell's Kitchen," which reflects her growth as an artist and a person.

Alicia's 13-year journey to bring her musical "Hell's Kitchen" to Broadway taught her the value of patience, determination, and surrounding herself with the right creative team.

Alicia Keys openly discusses the extensive and challenging process of working on her musical, a significant dream she nurtured for 13 years. Keys describes "Hell's Kitchen" as a passion project that required her to step out of her regular world into creative workshops with a writer and director, collectively forging the universe of the show. Michael Greif, a guiding director, alongside a collaboration with the public theater, brought essential clarity and structure to the project. Keys has embraced an incremental work process involving intense periods of activity and breaks for reflection, helping her navigate the story's direction. She's learned to welcome additional perspectives while keeping her original vision intact.

Alicia had to learn to balance her natural perfectionism and control tendencies with allowing room for input and collaboration from others to elevate the final product.

Alicia recognizes herself as a control freak, aware of her vision for "Hell's Kitchen" and insistent on its precision. She's learned, however, the importance of occasionally stepping back to let the creative process organically unfold. Keys discusses striking a balance between her perfectionism and the need for input from others, mentioning how open collaboration can spawn new ideas and polish the initial concept. She advises that struggles in collaboration can indicate a mismatch, whereas positive, contributive partnerships enhance the project's outcome. Maintaining the core vision while being open to growth and improvement is a delicate act she has learned to navigate.

Alicia found that her extensive experience in the music industry gave her the knowledge and confidence to take on a new creative challenge in the theater world.

Alicia relies on her musical background to instill confidence and knowledge in her f ...

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Alicia Keys' creative process and long-term projects

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While Alicia Keys' 13-year commitment to "Hell's Kitchen" is commendable, some might argue that such a long development time could lead to a project becoming outdated or losing relevance by the time it's completed.
  • The value of patience and determination is clear, but some might point out that excessive patience can sometimes result in missed opportunities or a lack of urgency that could propel a project forward.
  • Collaborating with a writer and director is crucial, but there's a risk that too many voices could dilute the original vision or lead to a disjointed final product.
  • While Alicia's incremental work process allowed for reflection, critics might argue that too many breaks can disrupt momentum and focus.
  • Balancing perfectionism with collaboration is important, but there's a fine line between being open to input and compromising on one's artistic integrity or vision.
  • Alicia's confidence from her music industry experience is a strength, but transitioning to theater involves unique challenges that music industry success doesn't necessarily prepare an artist for.
  • The concept of natural timing fo ...

Actionables

  • You can foster long-term goals by starting a "Dream Journal" where you write down your aspirations and track your progress over the years. Begin by jotting down your current dream, no matter how big or small, and note the steps you think you'll need to achieve it. Every month, revisit your journal to add new insights, celebrate progress, and adjust your plan as needed. This will help you visualize your journey and maintain focus over an extended period.
  • Develop patience and collaboration by engaging in a community art project. Look for local initiatives like a mural painting or a community garden that require collective effort and time to complete. Participating in such projects can teach you the value of patience as you see the work evolve and the importance of incorporating diverse input for a richer outcome.
  • Enhance your adaptability by practici ...

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