In this episode of the On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast, Shetty explains the powerful technique of the 90-second rule. He highlights the importance of pausing for 90 seconds before responding in stressful situations, allowing our physiological stress response to subside. This enables us to respond thoughtfully, rather than reacting impulsively and regretting our words or actions.
Shetty provides practical strategies for implementing the 90-second rule, such as setting a timer, breathing deeply, and simply observing our emotions without acting on them. He also sheds light on the psychological and neurological basis behind this technique, grounded in scientific research on how our emotions operate.
Sign up for Shortform to access the whole episode summary along with additional materials like counterarguments and context.
Jay Shetty highlights the significance of the 90-second rule, a technique for fostering "response ability" in stressful situations by pausing before reacting. This allows emotions triggered by stimuli like emails or surprises to subside, enabling more intentional responses.
Failing to pause often leads to regrettable actions driven by impulse. Shetty explains that pausing for 90 seconds prevents escalating the situation and saying things we don't mean. The 90 seconds allow us to take an "internal weather report"—feeling emotions without immediately acting on them.
Shetty recommends setting a 90-second timer during stressful moments to commit to the pause. Counting to 27 while taking deep breaths helps fill the time and calm the body and mind. Checking in on thoughts and feelings without acting lets us simply observe our emotional state.
Labeling the specific emotion we feel, rather than generalizing it, prevents personalizing feelings and can offer better understanding, Shetty suggests.
Studies show emotions like sadness last far longer than joy or anger. However, the physiological stress response naturally subsides within 90 seconds if we don't feed it. Observing emotions instead of reacting prevents them from taking hold in our bodies, Shetty explains.
1-Page Summary
Jay Shetty highlights the significance of the 90-second rule as a technique for fostering "response ability" in stressful situations, emphasizing the power we have in choosing our actions thoughtfully.
Shetty discusses Jill Bolte Taylor's concept of "response ability," which focuses on our capacity to choose our responses to external events, leading us to act more in alignment with our true selves. He explains that the 90-second timeframe corresponds to the physiological process in our body, where stress-induced chemical reactions dissipate naturally without influencing our behavior, preventing us from escalating the situation. Reacting immediately to stimuli like emails or surprises often leads to regret. In contrast, pausing for 90 seconds allows emotions to subside, thus enabling a response that is more intentional and constructive.
Pausing for 90 seconds prevents us from making rash decisions that can harm relationships or result in long-term consequences. Shetty illustrates this concept with the example of nearly having a car accident, where immediate anger might lead to regrettable actions if not checked by a conscious pause. He encourages listeners to take a moment for an internal weather report—feeling an emotion without acting on it right away. Deep breaths during these 90 seconds help the chemicals and feelings pass and can be the difference between saying something mean or saying what you truly mean.
Shetty suggests that failing to wait for this window can lead to damaging relationships or regrettable actions. Applying the 90-seco ...
The 90-second rule and why it's important for responding thoughtfully instead of reactively
The 90-second rule is a powerful technique to manage stress and emotional reactions. Implementing this rule effectively can assist individuals in avoiding an immediate escalation of stress and instead, provide a space to understand and regulate their emotions.
Shetty emphasizes the value of setting a timer for 90 seconds during stressful moments. The act of watching the countdown serves a similar purpose as maintaining a plank position during a workout—it commits us to a pause and helps to avoid extending our overwhelm, anxiety, or stress by taking impulsive actions such as making a call or sending a text.
To occupy these crucial seconds, Shetty recommends taking deep breaths and counting to 27. This not only helps in filling the time but also serves to calm both the body and mind physiologically. By gaining greater awareness of our true emotional state through this practice, we can develop a stronger ability to cope with unexpected situations and emotional triggers.
Shetty proposes the use of an "internal weather report" to further this self-awareness. This means checking in with what we're thinking and feeling while re ...
Practical implementation of the 90-second rule, such as using a timer and deep breathing
Emotional research has revealed that different emotions have varying durations, with sadness lasting notably longer than other feelings such as joy or anger. This discrepancy has led to the suggestion that we may have a predilection for dwelling on and amplifying negative experiences, rather than maintaining a balanced focus on our positive and negative emotions.
Studies have found that sadness can outlast other emotions by a staggering 240 times. This elongation is thought to be due to the significance of events that trigger sadness, combined with an individual’s tendency to ruminate on the feelings and the consequences associated with the triggering event.
Shetty explains that when faced with a stressful circumstance, our bodies respond by releasing adrenaline and other chemicals, preparing us for action. However, these physiological changes have a natural lifespan of about 90 seconds, after which they begin to fade, assuming they're not reignited by ongoing emotional responses. This emphasizes the importance of not overreacting within ...
The psychological and neurological basis for the 90-second rule and how emotions dissipate over time
Download the Shortform Chrome extension for your browser