477: "There's No Freedom In The Facade. With Martial Artist and Mentor, Jason Wilson
In this episode of the Jocko Podcast, guest Jason Wilson shares his family's intergenerational trauma from racial violence, including the horrific lynching of his grandfather. Wilson recounts his own transformation from an angry youth to a compassionate mentor. He founded the Cave of Adullam Academy, which helps boys overcome trauma through martial arts and emotional resilience training.
Wilson advocates for a redefined masculinity, moving away from traditional masculine ideals of suppressing emotion. Drawing from personal struggles, he emphasizes the importance of emotional openness and vulnerability as true strength. His nurturing yet honest approach aims to break cycles of trauma.
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1-Page Summary
Intergenerational Trauma in Jason's Family
Jason Wilson's family endured generations of racial violence, including the horrific lynching of his grandfather, which led to severe trauma for relatives. His mother suffered mental breakdowns, unable to process the pain. According to Jason, this violence "really gets into one's DNA."
Jason's brothers, Sinclair and Larry, coped differently: Sinclair embraced faith while Larry turned to drugs and crime, ultimately meeting a tragic end. Sinclair shielded Jason from similar dangers.
Jason's Transformation
In his youth, Jason was an angry, reckless DJ drawn to power and the drug trade like his brother Keith, who kept him from that life. A car accident and prophetic message led him to surrender to God.
Jason then abandoned his former lifestyle, stopped drinking and cursing, began mentoring youth, drawing on his experiences to guide young men.
Cave of Adullam Academy
Observing ineffective programs for troubled youth, Jason founded Cave of Adullam, a transformative academy fusing martial arts, counseling, and character development. With a nurturing approach addressing root trauma, Jason fosters emotional resilience in boys while rejecting toxic masculinity.
"Let go of the blow" teaches releasing fixations and learning from defeats. Under Jason's mentorship, over 78% of students improved academically without tutoring.
Redefining Masculinity
Jason challenges traditional masculine ideals of emotion suppression, urging men to embrace vulnerability, which builds resilience and nurturing—key to halting trauma's cycle. According to Jason, true strength lies in emotional openness and growth, not rigid masculine roles.
By sharing struggles candidly, including regrets as a father, Jason aims to redefine masculinity to encompass the full emotional range of human experiences.
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Actionables
- Explore your family history to understand potential sources of inherited trauma by creating a family tree that includes not just names and dates but also personal stories, challenges, and triumphs. This can help you identify patterns and provide context for your own experiences, fostering a deeper understanding of how past trauma may influence present behaviors.
- Start a personal growth journal focused on emotional vulnerability, where you regularly write about your feelings, reactions to stressful situations, and moments when you chose to be open rather than guarded. This practice can help you track your progress in embracing vulnerability as a strength and can serve as a reminder of the importance of emotional openness.
- Engage in a physical activity that also incorporates mindfulness or emotional processing, such as yoga or tai chi, to help release pent-up emotions and improve emotional resilience. These activities often combine physical movement with mental focus, which can help you process emotions in a healthy way and build a stronger connection between mind and body.
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Intergenerational Trauma and Its Impact on Jason's Family
The tragic history of Jason Wilson’s family reveals the profound effects of racial violence that have cascaded down through generations, culminating in a complex web of lingering pain, mental health issues, and divergent life paths of the siblings.
Jason's Family Faced Generations of Racial Violence, Including His Grandfather's Lynching, Traumatizing His Mother and Relatives
Grandfather's Lynching Kept Secret, Causing Mother's Mental Breakdowns
The lynching of Jason Wilson's grandfather was a painful secret that eventually led to dementia in four family members, unable to cope with the distress and anguish. This hidden scar deeply affected Jason's mother, who suffered two mental breakdowns. The horrifying event of her father being beaten until his bones shattered and left unrecognizable marks the generations of racial violence that the family endured.
Jason's mother was overwhelmed by the murder of her son, Larry, and emotionally checked out, requiring neighbors to step in for her care and Jason's. The toll of trauma manifested in her reluctance to discuss the past and inability to find peace until she developed dementia, which erases her painful memories.
A book by Colin Powell relayed the graphic details of the lynching, which Jason hadn't known about as it was kept from him. Affected by racial violence in their lineage, and the murder of his brother, Jason recognized the heavy burden of intergenerational trauma that “really gets into one's DNA.”
Jason's Brothers: One Became a Devout Christian, the Other Turned To Crime and Drugs After Abuse
Jason's Brother Sinclair Found Faith at Tuskegee University, Larry Struggled With Drugs and Violence Before His Murder
The paths of Jason's brothers, Sinclair and Larry, diverged sharply as they coped with their shared legacy of pain in different ways. Larry became ensnared in a life of crime and drugs, attracting the attention of drug dealers due to his social influence. When he tried to leave that life behind, he was unable to escape, leading to his tragic death.
In contrast, Sinclair found solace and purpos ...
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Intergenerational Trauma and Its Impact on Jason's Family
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Actionables
- You can explore your family history to understand and address potential intergenerational trauma by starting a genealogy project. Use online resources and public records to trace your lineage and document stories or events that may have impacted your family's mental health. This can help you identify patterns and seek professional guidance if you discover trauma that might affect you or future generations.
- Create a personal ritual to honor and process grief from past family tragedies. This could involve writing letters to lost family members, visiting significant sites, or setting up a small memorial space in your home. By acknowledging the pain, you can work towards healing and preventing the trauma from silently affecting your life.
- Engage in regular self ...
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Jason's Path: Troubled Youth To Mentor and Role Model
Jason Wilson's story is a journey of transformation from a troubled youth into an influential mentor and role model.
Jason Struggled With Anger and a Desire For Power, Becoming a Popular Dj and Rapper
As a young person in Detroit, Jason Wilson was a dominant DJ known for his participation in some of the best parties. He lived life recklessly, drinking and showing little regard for his mother or his stepfather, Mr. Crumb. His anger and desire for power even drove him to threaten Mr. Crumb with a shotgun, an action that led to his mother's divorce. Jason also harbored aspirations to be involved in the drug trade like his brother, Keith.
Jason's Music and Drug Trade Exposure Avoided With Brother Keith's Help
Jason looked up to Keith, admiring his status as a millionaire drug dealer. However, Keith was protective and kept Jason out of the drug scene. While Jason wanted to sell drugs and be a part of Keith's world, Keith actively prevented him from doing so—a decision that Jason now recognizes as life-saving.
Car Accident and Work Injury Led Jason to Surrender To God
An accident while driving a truck marked a turning point for Jason. In the emergency room, his friend Chris Webber shared a prophetic message from his mother about Jason's need to stop running from God. The visit from pastors arranged by Chris and meeting Nicole during this period were catalysts in Jason's spiritual transformation.
Jason Abandoned His Old Lifestyle to Mentor Youth, Using His Experiences to Guide Young Men
Jason recalls another significant incident at his Coca-Col ...
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Jason's Path: Troubled Youth To Mentor and Role Model
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Actionables
- Reflect on personal turning points by journaling about significant life events and how they've shaped your values and decisions. Writing down these moments can help you understand your own transformation journey, similar to how a car accident and work injury were pivotal for Jason. For example, you might realize that a particular challenge led you to seek out new friendships or hobbies that changed your perspective.
- Volunteer as a mentor for youth in your community to share life lessons and provide guidance. By becoming a mentor, you can use your experiences, much like Jason does, to positively influence the lives of young people who may be facing challenges. Look for local organizations that facilitate mentoring programs and commit to regular sessions with your mentee.
- Create a personal code of cond ...
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Jason's Creation of Cave of Adullam and Youth Mentorship
Jason Wilson, observing a lack of effective guidance for African American boys, has founded and directed the Cave of Adullam Transformational Training Academy as a source of mentorship for young men.
Recognizing Ineffective Programs for Troubled Youth, Jason Founded Cave of Adullam Academy to Create a Safe, Nurturing Space For Young Men
Jason Wilson was inspired by his own need for mentorship to establish the Cave of Adullam. Disapproving of "scared straight" programs and boot camps for troubled youth which he felt re-traumatized rather than supported children, he sought to provide love instead of discipline. Wilson brought in mentoring fathers and used his martial arts expertise to process and heal emotional wounds for both the youth and their parents, seeking to end intergenerational trauma.
Academy's Curriculum: Martial Arts, Counseling, Character Development For Youth Struggles
Wilson recognized that the boys at his academy were dealing with significant trauma that impeded their academic performance. By tying academic success to emotional well-being, the academy aimed to resolve underlying issues, thus improving mental and academic performance. Initially focusing on discipline, reflected in Wilson's own martial arts background, the curriculum of the Cave of Adullam evolved into a more nurturing program that considered the holistic needs of the boys.
Jason's Approach Fosters Emotional Resilience and Vulnerability in Young Men, Rejecting Toxic Masculinity
The approach at the Cave of Adullam Transformational Training Academy is to cultivate resilience and foster vulnerability in young men while distancing from toxic masculinity norms.
Cave of Adullam: Aiding Young Men In Emotional and Academic Growth
Jason Wilson helps guide young men through complex adult situations they have yet to fully understand. By applying the principle "let go of the blow," he teaches them about releasing emotional fixation and applying martial arts as a metaphor to ...
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Jason's Creation of Cave of Adullam and Youth Mentorship
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Actionables
- You can integrate emotional intelligence exercises into your daily routine to foster resilience and vulnerability. Start by setting aside time each day to reflect on your emotions and the reasons behind them. Use a journal to write down what you're feeling and why, then brainstorm healthy ways to express these emotions. For example, if you're feeling frustrated with a work project, you might choose to take a short walk to clear your head instead of bottling up the frustration.
- Create a personal growth plan that includes self-defense training and academic goals. Find a local martial arts class that emphasizes character development and enroll in it. Simultaneously, set specific academic or learning objectives, such as reading a new book each month or completing an online course. This combination mirrors the holistic approach of martial arts principles applied to life challenges and personal development.
- Develop a peer support group focused on understandin ...
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Importance of Emotional Resilience and Vulnerability For Men
Jason Wilson urges men to redefine traditional masculinity by embracing emotions and vulnerability, aiming to halt the transmission of intergenerational trauma and foster nurturing and resilience.
Jason Urges Men to Embrace Emotions and Vulnerability, Not Suppress Them For Traditional Masculinity
Suppressing Emotions Hinders Connection; Embracing Vulnerability Fosters Nurturing and Resilience in Men
Jason shares a determination to release the traumas of his past and advocates for confronting rather than holding onto such experiences. His insights suggest that he sees vulnerability and the processing of emotion as critical to preventing the perpetuation of familial trauma. Wilson challenges the notion that emotional openness makes one vulnerable to harm or danger. He discusses the lack of space for men to grieve or express that they aren't feeling good, noting the cultural tendency to move quickly through emotional hardships without truly addressing them. He stresses the importance of actually asking men about their feelings in a sincere way and provides a safe space for men to be vulnerable.
Wilson emphasizes the importance of evolving as men and not putting a cap on manhood. He highlights the necessity of being open to learning, expressing that it's a blessing to be a student and to constantly learn. Wilson discusses the importance of taking lessons learned from martial arts and applying them to everyday life, like in communication with his wife. Urging men to give their best not only to the world but also to their families, he challenges the traditional approach of suppressing emotions.
By sharing his experiences and feelings, including mourning the loss of his friend Big D, Wilson aims to redefine masculinity to include emotional expression and vulnerability, rather than adhering to the traditional notions that prioritize emotion suppression.
Jason's Journey Highlighted the Importance of Emotional Openness and Defying Societal Norms For Men
By Sharing His Struggles, Jason Aims to Redefine Masculinity
Wilson talks about how traditional definitions of masculinity as being providers and protectors do not capture all characteristics that make men whole. He expresses that men need to experience life fully, not just in roles typically ascribed to them by societal norms. Wilson shares a personal apology to his daughter for being too harsh during her upbringing and acknowledges that he has learned from his father. He admits to being wrong and promises to change, exemplifying the importance of acknowledging and confronting one's vulnerabilities.
Wilson also recalls a conversation with an audio engineer who broke down discussing his son's struggle with a ta ...
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Importance of Emotional Resilience and Vulnerability For Men
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Counterarguments
- Some may argue that emotional vulnerability can be exploited in competitive or untrustworthy environments, suggesting a need for balance.
- Critics might point out that while emotional expression is healthy, there should also be guidance on managing emotions effectively to prevent negative outcomes.
- There could be a concern that redefining masculinity might inadvertently stigmatize traditional masculine traits that are positive, such as stoicism in the face of adversity.
- It might be argued that the push for emotional openness should not lead to pressure on men who naturally prefer to process emotions privately.
- Some may believe that the emphasis on emotional expression overlooks biological differences in emotional processing between men and women.
- There could be a cultural counterargument that the redefinition of masculinity may not align with certain cultural or religious norms and values.
- Critics might suggest that the focus on individual emotional work could detract from addressing systemic issues that contribute to men's mental health proble ...
Actionables
- Start a personal emotion journal to track and reflect on your feelings daily, which can help you become more aware of your emotions and recognize patterns in your emotional responses. For example, note down instances when you felt the need to suppress emotions and explore alternative reactions that embrace vulnerability.
- Create a "vulnerability pact" with a close friend or family member where you both agree to share something personal and emotionally significant each week. This could be a fear, a hope, or a difficult memory. The act of sharing and listening can strengthen your emotional bonds and provide a safe space for vulnerability.
- Volunteer for a mentors ...
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