PDF Summary:Unreasonable Hospitality, by Will Guidara

In Unreasonable Hospitality, hospitality guru Will Guidara details how he transformed Eleven Madison Park from a so-so brasserie in the middle of Manhattan into the World’s Best Restaurant in 2017. Guidara contends that the secret to the restaurant’s success was his commitment to providing “unreasonable hospitality”—a level of dedication to providing guests with a fantastic experience that stretched the limits of what seemed sensible. Guidara believes that anyone with a service-based business should also commit to providing unreasonable hospitality—both to their employees and their customers.

In this guide, we’ll trace Guidara’s career and share the lessons he learned from each stage—from his journey to becoming the general manager of Eleven Madison Park to transforming it into a three-star, a four-star, and then the world’s best restaurant. We’ll also include advice from experts in other industries about how to manage a world-class team and deliver exceptional service to your customers.

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Guidara saw and took advantage of an opportunity that would both set EMP apart and support his employees. He set up “ownership programs,” which involved giving employees full control over specific aspects of the restaurant. For example, he put the server who loved beer in charge of developing EMP’s beer program. The programs benefited everybody involved. The staff liked taking on more responsibility, Guidara’s workload was reduced, the customers enjoyed the results (like the better beer that EMP served), and the customers’ happiness reflected well on the restaurant.

(Shortform note: In Carrots and Sticks Don’t Work, Paul Marciano elaborates on why giving employees full control over specific aspects of the company (as Guidara did at EMP) may improve the employees’ experience: When employees feel autonomy and are free to take risks and seek out novel solutions, they provide the change they want to see in the organization—which increases a feeling of ownership in the company. Marciano emphasizes that if you want your employees to be more autonomous, you must provide them with the information necessary to understand the goals of the organization; only then can they make independent decisions that don’t detract from the team.)

Lesson 3: Pay Attention to the Details

In 2006, the food critic for The New York Times appeared at the restaurant for lunch. His presence signified that Times might soon review EMP. The restaurant’s three-star review appeared in the Times nearly a year later.

(Shortform note: The New York Times’ rating system maxed out at three stars until 1964, when the fourth star was added to indicate that a restaurant was “extraordinary.” The newspaper explains that the stars “reflect the reviewer’s reaction primarily to food, with ambience, service, and price taken into consideration.” The star system has received some criticism from readers given that a reviewer’s experience is highly subjective. However, the Times has chosen to keep the system, noting that readers can glean more detail from the review article than from how many stars a restaurant receives.)

Guidara attributes the three stars to EMP’s continued commitment to the details, which EMP staff demonstrated in two ways.

First, EMP staff focused on consistently mastering the smallest details. These details didn’t seem individually important, but altogether they contributed to providing an overall atmosphere of exceptional service. Guidara contends that this atmosphere was palpable not just to the guests but also to the staff and improved everybody’s experience. For example, the staff carefully curated how loudly they played the music depending on how many people were in the restaurant.

Guidara argues that seeing this consistency helped servers when they were having a difficult time due to uncontrollable circumstances—such as guests in a bad mood—as it reminded them that there were some things they still could control.

(Shortform note: Several self-help authors maintain that when you face an obstacle, you should focus on what you can control rather than what you can’t. Some go even further: In The Power of Positive Thinking, Norman Vincent Peale contends that any obstacle is defeatable—as long as you believe that you can surmount it. If this seems unreasonable, try to think of creative ways that you might be able to overcome the obstacle. For example, adjusting the music at EMP may have had a bigger impact than Guidara realized. Studies indicate that adjusting the volume of restaurant music can improve how good customers think the food tastes, while switching to classical music can increase customer spending.)

Second, EMP staff followed the “one-inch rule” that Guidara developed. Guidara points out that no matter how well you prepare something, you can mess it up at the last minute. At EMP, the staff learned to remain focused during that last “one inch” so they could execute everything perfectly instead of ruining something due to inattention in the final moments.

(Shortform note: It’s not always crucial to do everything perfectly or to focus on the last “one inch.”. Finishing the last details of a task may be particularly difficult for people with ADHD. If you have ADHD and struggle to complete tasks, one productivity expert recommends first envisioning what the project will look like when it’s 100% done. Then, envision what getting 90% done will look like—and re-evaluate whether completing that final 10% is worth the effort. If it isn’t, consider just not doing that final 10%, consulting with other stakeholders as necessary.)

How Guidara Turned EMP Into a Four-Star Restaurant

Guidara wasn’t content with turning EMP into a three-star restaurant. He, along with Humm, had a larger mission: They wanted to transform the fine-dining landscape into something more modern and inclusive. To do that, they needed to become a four-star restaurant, as this was the barrier to entry: Four-star restaurants are fine-dining restaurants, but three-star restaurants are not. Humm and Guidara achieved that dream in 2009, but they faced several challenges along the way. In this section, we’ll describe the lessons Guidara extracts from overcoming those challenges.

(Shortform note: Humm and Guidara’s relentless chasing of more stars worked out well for them, but this isn’t always the case. Many chefs grow so obsessed with receiving stars from various rating establishments that it damages their restaurants and their mental health, and some have even “given back” stars because the pressure to maintain their rating was overwhelming.)

Lesson 1: Re-evaluate Your Policies

Some of Guidara’s successes at EMP stemmed from his willingness to push back against long-standing policies. For example, all of Meyer’s restaurants closed on Thanksgiving to allow employees to spend time with their families. But in 2007, Guidara proposed that they open on the holiday, pointing out that most of EMP’s employees’ families lived far away, so they couldn’t spend the holiday with them anyway. Meyer agreed—and so EMP opened on Thanksgiving Day. Not only did Thanksgiving become a popular day at EMP, but the profits also allowed the restaurant to close for a few days in January so employees could go home to visit their families.

(Shortform note: Business experts agree that you should change policies if they’re not working in the way that you want them to. However, rather than wait for someone to notice that a policy isn’t working—the way Guidara did when he realized that keeping EMP open wouldn’t allow employees to spend time with their families—they recommend scheduling regular time every few years to re-evaluate all your policies and change the ones that are no longer useful. Remember to prioritize what you and your employees care about; for example, restaurant owners and employees often enjoy opening on Thanksgiving, while retailers tend to close in part because they worry that their employees will quit if forced to work.)

Lesson 2: Take Care of Your People

Keeping EMP open on Thanksgiving Day didn’t just make the restaurant more money; Guidara used it as an opportunity to create a new tradition that brought the team together by serving the staff a traditional Thanksgiving meal after the restaurant closed. By doing so, Guidara created a space where the staff could connect on a deeper level with each other—and so become a stronger team.

(Shortform note: Cultivating regular events that bring the team together may be particularly important for remote-first companies. These companies tend to prioritize regularly bringing their employees together so that they can improve their relationships by bonding in person. For best results, experts recommend not packing these events with activities; providing your employees with bursts of free time allows them more opportunities to meet and get to know each other.)

In addition to creating traditions, Guidara took care of and brought together his team in two more notable ways. First, he systematized asking for help. At EMP, a server who was struggling could touch her lapel and immediately receive assistance from somebody who noticed this distress call. Guidara contends that introducing this code made it easier to ask for help—and so made it more likely that the employees who needed help would actually ask for it, which reduced overwhelm and potential burnout.

(Shortform note: Many people struggle to ask for help because they fear that doing so will make them come across as inconsiderate. But at EMP, creating a non-verbal system of asking for assistance helped tackle this fear. Not only did employees have an easy time asking for help, but employees were also easily able to offer help—and employees who felt inconsiderate asking for help felt less inconsiderate if they regularly helped others.)

Second, he learned how to convey criticism. Guidara argues that criticism is a necessary part of managing people, as it demonstrates that you care about how well they do. But not all criticism is created equal. People receive criticism in different ways; some people need to be yelled at, some need a rational explanation, and some need a gentle rebuke. As a manager, it’s up to you to personalize how you deliver criticism in the way that your team member is most amenable to it.

(Shortform note: In The Culture Map, Erin Meyer also highlights the necessity of delivering negative feedback in a way the listener understands. She explains that in some countries (like the United States), people tend to deliver negative feedback directly and explicitly. But in other countries, they tend to deliver negative feedback indirectly, often couching these messages in positive affirmations and mitigating language. Understanding your feedback-receiver’s type is crucial: If you deliver indirect feedback to someone who’s used to direct feedback, they may not realize you’re criticizing them. Conversely, delivering direct feedback to someone who’s used to indirect feedback may make you seem cruel.)

Lesson 3: Highlight Your People

In 2008, EMP decided to apply to join Relais & Châteaux, a prestigious restaurant organization, but the restaurant missed the application deadline. Boulud offered to ask the group to consider EMP anyway, and he brought in two rock star chefs—Thomas Keller and Patrick O’Connell—so that all three could ask together. Guidara noticed how awestruck his team was at these chefs’ presence and realized how much this validation boosted their morale. (The chefs loved the restaurant, and EMP was accepted into Relais & Châteaux).

(Shortform note: In Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell argues that people who succeed earlier in life have an advantage, as these early opportunities tend to snowball into larger advantages. EMP’s addition to Relais & Châteaux may be an example: Had Guidara not met and befriended Boulud while at Cornell, he may not have had the connection necessary to apply to the organization even though they’d missed the deadline, and he might not have seen the validating impact that bringing in Keller and O’Connell had on his team.)

As a result, Guidara started to share external praise of his team members with the team member in question. This included having media personalities speak with the most relevant team members—even if that wasn’t Guidara. These actions helped his team members gain recognition and further supported their growth.

(Shortform note: In Extreme Ownership, Jocko Willink and Leif Babin elaborate on why you should pass on praise to the relevant team members. By directing praise to your team, you set the tone for everyone on the team that success is achieved as a unit, creating a culture that’s focused on the good of the team.)

Lesson 4: Find the Silver Lining

In November 2008, the world plunged into a financial crisis—and took EMP along with it. Due to the shaky economy, EMP’s usual customers cut back on expensive meals. The restaurant survived only because EMP owned Shake Shack, a casual fast-food USHG restaurant that exploded in popularity because it was now a cheaper option in the area.

However, Guidara learned to find the silver lining in these financially challenging times. For example, EMP started a $29 lunch special. This allowed young people who couldn’t previously afford EMP to eat at the restaurant—and in later years, many of these people became more financially successful and continued patronizing the restaurant.

What You Can Learn From How EMP Survived the Financial Crisis

Guidara doesn’t detail just how badly EMP was doing financially during this time. The restaurant’s struggles after the 2008 crash were amplified by the fact that EMP had undergone a several-hundred-thousand-dollar renovation shortly before the financial crisis hit, and despite Shake Shack’s support, EMP was still losing money in 2009. However, EMP knew that to get four stars, the Times’ food critic had to think the restaurant was doing well. So they didn’t just rely on attracting customers with a budget lunch special; the restaurant staff packed the dining room with friends on nights they suspected the critic might appear.

So if you’re struggling as an entrepreneur, consider relying on your friends. Even if they can’t help you financially, they can provide essential moral support during tough times. And take a cue from EMP and focus on developing relationships, since most of your business will come from repeat customers, who tend to spend more per visit.

How Guidara Turned EMP Into the World’s Best Restaurant

In 2010—one year after EMP earned its fourth star—the restaurant was nominated for the World’s 50 Best Restaurants list. Guidara and Humm were initially thrilled…but then mortified at the awards ceremony when they discovered that they had only received 50th place. This embarrassment prompted Guidara to commit to making EMP the world’s best restaurant by cultivating a culture of “unreasonable hospitality”—a commitment that ultimately led to EMP winning World’s Best Restaurant in 2017.

(Shortform note: When you compare yourself to others who are doing better than you, you’re engaging in “upward social comparison.” This can inspire positive outcomes, as it did for Guidara and Humm, who channeled their feelings of inadequacy into transforming EMP’s culture so they could ultimately win World’s Best Restaurant. However, upward social comparison sometimes also has negative effects; comparing yourself to others can damage your mental health and even make you try to undermine the efforts of those who are doing better than you are.)

In this section, we’ll share how Guidara and Humm successfully transformed EMP into the world’s best restaurant and the lessons they learned along the way.

Lesson 1: Get Creative

As we learned previously, Guidara defines “unreasonable hospitality” as a level of dedication to providing guests with a fantastic experience that stretches the limits of what seems sensible. However, Guidara saw an inherent tension between this concept and running a food business. After all, as a customer, you purchase the experience at restaurants—but the act of purchasing detracts from the hospitality of this experience by highlighting that you’re exchanging money for a service rather than making a connection.

As a result, Guidara decided to hide everything that felt too businesslike and detracted from the experience of hospitality. This required him to get creative in unexpected areas. For example, the most businesslike element of a meal at the restaurant is when you pay for it. To make that a hospitable experience, Guidara decided that when each table received a check, they’d also receive a full bottle of nice cognac and instructions to have as much as they liked. As a result, even receiving the check felt like a nice gesture because it was combined with a gift.

Does Guidara’s System Work in Other Restaurants?

Guidara works extensively to hide the financial aspect of hospitality and emphasize the connection between the restaurant and its guests. However, one writer contends in a 2023 piece that restaurant guests have become increasingly demanding, and service industry professionals must present clear boundaries to protect themselves. For example, in contrast to Guidara hiding the check with a cognac bottle, several high-end restaurants now demand money before diners even arrive with a non-refundable deposit meant to prevent no-shows.

Guidara’s creativity regarding hiding the businesslike aspects of the restaurant may have only worked because he had few financial worries (like no-shows); by 2012, EMP had a 200-person waiting list every night.

Lesson 2: Systematize Gifts

As Guidara was looking for ways to provide unreasonable hospitality, he overheard a table of tourists who’d chosen EMP for their last meal in New York. The group mentioned that they’d eaten everything they’d wanted to eat—except for a classic New York hot dog. So Guidara ran out to purchase some, had Humm plate them, and served these hot dogs to the guests as one of their courses, explaining to them that he’d overheard their conversation and wanted to provide them with the best possible experience. The delight of the guests convinced Gudiara that this was something he should be doing regularly—and so Guidara systematized such gifts in two ways.

(Shortform note: The hot dog story appeared in several news outlets as a prime example of how unreasonable hospitality can transform the customer experience, but not everybody was impressed. One blogger contended that this story was only impressive because EMP had an impressive backdrop with which to serve the hot dog, writing that “It’s patronizing for Guidara to behave as though a $2 hot dog can make everyone a hospitality hero.”)

First, he created a position dedicated to providing unexpected gifts. Guidara understood that, while a meal at a restaurant is by definition consumed, the guests could relive their restaurant experience as long as they had a great story to tell. As a result, he started hiring “Dreamweavers”—people whose job it was to research the guests beforehand or listen during their meals and provide personalized touches to awe the guests and give them a great story. For example, the Dreamweavers turned the private dining room into a makeshift beach for a couple who unexpectedly couldn’t make their planned beach vacation.

(Shortform note: EMP wasn’t the only restaurant of its day to collect personal data on its customers. Boulud’s restaurant installed cameras in the dining room so that staff could serve the next course at the perfect time. And while Guidara touts only the benefits of paying close attention to your customers, some people may feel uncomfortable if you give them gifts based on information they didn’t share with you—like the fact that they were going on a beach vacation. This concern may be relevant even if you don't have full-time staff dedicated to providing personalized service. For example, a customer who uses a QR code-based menu may unwittingly provide that restaurant with personal information they didn’t mean to share.)

Second, Guidara created standard gifts for repeatable moments. The personal nature of the Dreamweavers’ gifts sometimes meant that they were expensive, but Guidara found a more budget-minded way to systematize gifts. He looked for repeatable moments—the memorable things that happened regularly at the restaurant—and created standard gifts for those moments. For example, many couples got engaged at EMP. So Guidara partnered with Tiffany to create custom champagne flutes; he’d pour them a champagne toast in the flutes at EMP and gift them the flutes in Tiffany boxes.

(Shortform note: Guidara’s concept of budget-minded gifts is inaccessible to many people. In 2023, a pair of regular champagne flutes from Tiffany retailed for $125—which is still a bargain compared to the nearly thousand-dollar price tag of dining at EMP in 2012. If you’re financially unable to provide extra gifts for the repeatable moments in your business, consider upgrading the gifts you already provide. For example, many companies provide branded swag at events to increase brand awareness or to advertise to new customers. In that case, a well-thought-out (branded) party favor—like a high-end water bottle—will likely have a bigger impact than cheaper swag (like a plastic pen).)

Lesson 3: Educate Your Employees

In 2010, Guidara and Humm received an offer to run The NoMad, a restaurant in a new luxury hotel opening a few streets away from EMP. Guidara and Humm were thrilled at the opportunity to bring fine dining back to hotels, whose restaurants had depreciated in quality over the years. However, Meyer couldn’t justify allowing the pair to run EMP while also owning a competing restaurant nearby—and offered to sell EMP to them instead. Guidara and Humm agreed to the sale and by 2012, they were running both The NoMad and EMP under the umbrella of their new company, Make It Nice.

(Shortform note: Guidara and Humm‘s success with The NoMad sparked a trend of hiring famous chefs at hotel restaurants. But it may never have occurred if Meyer hadn’t predicted the challenges he might face: In a New York Times interview, Meyer explained that he agreed to sell EMP in part because he didn't want to try to re-invent the restaurant without Humm and Guidara.)

The NoMad received three stars in its first New York Times review—a feat Guidara attributes largely to how successfully the employees quickly embodied the team’s culture of unreasonable hospitality. To achieve this, Guidara prioritized educating the new employees. He spent a lot of time training the staff—both by providing booklets on the culture and bringing in mostly long-time EMP employees to manage The NoMad—so that they could embody Make It Nice’s culture effectively from the first day the restaurant was open.

(Shortform note: In What You Do Is Who You Are, Ben Horowitz contends that a company’s culture derives from what leaders state explicitly and also what they enforce implicitly. Guidara exemplified both: He explicitly told The NoMad’s team what the culture was by providing them with a culture booklet and implicitly taught them the culture by bringing in long-time EMP employees. Without both, The NoMad might not have developed the culture that garnered them three stars. In How Will You Measure Your Life?, Clayton Christensen warns that if leaders define a culture but don't embody or enforce it, the company will evolve a different culture based on the priorities and processes that have worked and become embedded.)

Lesson 4: Acknowledge Your Failings

Despite The NoMad’s success, it wasn’t all smooth sailing back at EMP. While opening The NoMad, Guidara remained general manager of EMP because he didn’t think anybody else was prepared for the job. But the EMP team struggled to move forward without a clear supervisor to make the final call on important decisions. Guidara finally agreed to promote a longtime employee to GM after a tough conversation with a friend and colleague led him to realize that his decision not to promote anyone was doing the EMP team a disservice.

EMP also faced a blow after receiving terrible press in September 2012. The Times published an unflattering column after the restaurant introduced a new tasting menu, which the servers delivered with a memorized speech about each dish. (Fortunately, the column wasn’t an official review that would have done far more damage to the business.)

Guidara learned from both these incidents to acknowledge his failings so that he could work around them. Both his refusal to promote anyone to GM of EMP and his demand that the servers memorize a speech to share with guests demonstrated a lack of trust in his employees: He didn’t trust anybody to run EMP, and he didn’t trust his servers to judge how much information individual customers wanted to learn about each dish. So Guidara learned that he was too much of a perfectionist and needed to let go and give his team the control they needed to do their jobs well.

The Hidden Benefits of Perfectionism and How to Combat It Anyway

In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown argues that perfectionism is often an attempt to try to control other people’s perceptions of you. So while it was perfectionism that caused Guidara to make decisions that damaged the health of his restaurants, one could argue that this same perfectionism was what caused him to reverse course, given that he gave his employees more responsibility only after it became apparent that other people (specifically, the EMP team and the Times critic) had developed a poor perception of him.

Guidara caught his perfectionism in time, but not all leaders do. In The Laws of Human Nature, Robert Greene warns that perfectionist leaders often burn out because they spend so much time trying to control everything. So if you’re a perfectionist leader and want to follow Guidara’s example by giving your employees greater control, look for signs that they’re ready—such as doing well in their current role and being eager to take on more responsibility.

Lesson 5: Keep Evolving

By 2015, EMP was thriving. After taking the criticism they’d received in 2012 to heart, the restaurant’s popularity had exploded and it rose in the World’s Best Restaurant ranking every year. So Guidara was disappointed when their ranking slid for the first time—going from fourth to fifth place. This disappointment prompted Guidara to re-evaluate the restaurant. After he and Humm shared a meal at EMP, they realized the problem. In their chase to become the world’s best restaurant, they’d added on so many elements that they were disrupting the diners’ ability to enjoy their meal.

So EMP evolved again. But this time, instead of adding elements, Guidara removed them, keeping only those that embodied the culture of unreasonable hospitality to its fullest. For example, they realized that serving a pre-set menu and not allowing the guest to decide what they wanted to eat wasn’t a hospitable practice. So instead, they served a meal based on a pre-meal conversation with the guest where she explained what she was and wasn’t in the mood for. These changes allowed Guidara to finally provide the fantastic experience he’d been aiming for—and in 2017, his efforts were rewarded when EMP was voted the World’s’ Best Restaurant.

How Others Respond to Criticism

By revisiting and changing aspects of EMP after their disappointing ranking, Guidara and Humm embodied what How to Stop Worrying and Start Living author Dale Carnegie implies is the ideal response to criticism. Carnegie contends that the best way to deal with justified criticism is to recognize that it’s a valuable learning opportunity. The EMP owners recognized that the criticism was legitimate and used it as a jumping-off point to re-evaluate and adapt their actions.

Not all restaurant owners reacted the same way. In 2019, the World’s 50 Best Restaurants chose not to allow previous #1 restaurants on the list; in other words, Eleven Madison Park can never again be the World’s Best Restaurant. This decision was criticized in part because it was proposed by chefs whose restaurants’ rankings had fallen (and their reputations along with it).