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In This Naked Mind, Annie Grace reveals the real reason it’s so hard to quit drinking: We often see alcohol as a drink that enhances life experiences and makes us happy, relaxed, and confident. Although in reality, alcohol does none of these things, Grace explains that our unconscious minds still cling to these false beliefs that alcohol is good. To break free from alcohol dependence, you must change your unconscious beliefs and see alcohol as it truly is: an addictive drug that poisons your mind and body. When you change your beliefs, you’ll overcome addiction by no longer wanting to drink, and you’ll enjoy a fulfilling life free of alcohol.

In this guide, we’ll explain how alcohol affects your brain and body, how addiction works, and how to change your false beliefs about alcohol. We’ll also compare Grace’s advice with that of other addiction experts and provide more practical tips for applying her recovery approach to your life.

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False Belief #1: Alcohol Tastes Good

Some people claim to enjoy alcohol because of its taste. But Grace writes that it’s not the alcohol that they like but the flavor of other ingredients in their drink—such as the juice or the sugar. In fact, many people dislike their first sip of alcohol, which should be a sign that it’s bad for us. Our taste and smell are two senses that warn us about things that are bad for us or could make us sick, such as rotten foods and, in this case, alcohol.

However, we ignore our senses and continue consuming alcohol because of the societal conditioning we’ve received throughout our lives. We reason that, despite its taste, alcohol must improve our lives in some way because so many people drink it. We’re even told that we must acquire a taste for it. However, the unpleasant taste, in fact, makes us feel safer from addiction because we assume we can’t become addicted to something that we don’t enjoy the taste of.

The Factors That Shape Our Taste Preferences Are Complex

Grace writes that the bad initial taste of alcohol is a sign that it’s bad for us, but other experts point out that the subject of taste is slightly more complicated than that. They state that our survival needs play only one part in influencing our taste preferences. While it’s true that inedible, rotten, or poisonous foods often have a bitter or sour taste, plenty of healthy foods, like certain vegetables, are also bitter. Therefore, just because people tend to like or dislike the tastes of certain foods doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re good or bad for us.

We commonly assume that certain substances like alcohol or coffee are acquired tastes, but experts argue that most tastes are actually acquired. Acquired tastes include any foods we grow to like that don’t initially appeal to our innate biological desires—for example, yogurt, hot sauce, or ginger. Thus, we learn to like these foods just as we learn to like alcohol.

For other people, it’s less about the taste of alcohol itself, but how alcohol makes other foods taste. However, Grace argues that alcohol doesn’t improve the flavor of food, but actually makes it worse. She explains that alcohol numbs your taste buds, making them less sensitive to the flavors of food.

(Shortform note: Although drinking alcohol may not enhance the taste of foods, it does tend to increase your appetite. Studies show that people tend to eat more after drinking alcohol for several reasons: Alcohol is believed to inhibit the effects of leptin, which is a hormone that reduces your appetite. Also, some research indicates that alcohol stimulates the neurons in your brain that activate when you’re starving.)

False Belief #2: Alcohol Is Healthy in Moderation

Another belief people hold is that drinking in moderation is actually good for health. However, Grace writes that this isn’t true: Drinking any amount of alcohol is bad for your health. She explains that alcohol affects your body in many negative ways: It slows your brain functioning, hinders your ability to regulate emotions, weakens your heart, increases the risk of blood clots, damages your liver, weakens your immune system, and can even cause cancer and early death.

(Shortform note: Alcohol can harm the health of anyone who consumes it, but studies show that women are more at risk of suffering from the negative health effects that Grace lists. Experts say this is because of several factors: First, women’s bodies have proportionately less water and more fat than men. Water helps dilute alcohol, while fat retains it. This means that alcohol stays in higher concentrations and for longer periods in women’s bodies. Another factor is that women have less of an enzyme that breaks down alcohol before it enters the bloodstream. Because of this, they typically have higher blood alcohol levels than a man who drinks the same amount.)

If alcohol has such harmful effects, why do some studies show that drinking is good for your health? Grace explains that alcohol does have some medicinal properties, but they aren’t great enough to outweigh the harms of drinking. She elaborates that there are much better alternatives that can provide the same benefits without the risks. For example, drinking juice that’s rich in antioxidants will likely give you the same benefits as drinking wine.

(Shortform note: Like Grace, many experts question the belief that moderate drinking is healthier than abstaining from alcohol completely. They argue that the studies that support this belief are flawed and misleading. These studies imply that moderate alcohol consumption leads to better health when other factors actually account for these health differences. People who avoid alcohol often do so because of existing health problems, disabilities, or lower income levels, whereas people who drink moderately tend to be wealthier and have healthier habits.)

False Belief #3: Alcohol Relaxes You and Improves Your Mood

Grace claims that many people also drink because they believe alcohol helps them relax and feel happier. They think alcohol can make their problems go away or make them forget about them. However, Grace challenges this belief and says that alcohol isn’t a real solution: Drinking only dulls your feelings and thoughts for a short time—it doesn’t change anything about your situation or emotions. When the alcohol wears off, you’re left with the same issues that made you unhappy or stressed in the first place, prompting you to drink even more to find relief.

(Shortform note: Alcohol not only fails to solve any problems, but it can also prevent you from growing as a person. In Untamed, Glennon Doyle describes how she had used alcohol to cope with her strong emotions, and she argues that you should embrace even the most painful emotions rather than try to numb them. She explains that your emotions can teach you a lot about yourself, and painful emotions are often the best guides to becoming the most authentic version of yourself.)

Not only does alcohol fail to provide any real solutions to your problems, but it tends to worsen your mood. The more you rely on alcohol to bring you happiness and relief, the harder it becomes for you to naturally feel good. To truly relax and improve your mood, Grace writes that you must tackle the source of your stress or unhappiness. Using alcohol to handle your problems only leads to more problems and more drinking.

(Shortform note: In The Upside of Stress, Kelly McGonigal writes that avoiding stress is harmful because it only causes new stresses. Rather than rely on substances like alcohol to give you temporary relief, McGonigal suggests you adopt a more positive stress mindset to effectively overcome challenges. You can do this by thinking about your resources (such as your strengths, positive memories, loved ones, and so on), connecting with others, focusing on a purpose bigger than yourself, and talking about your stress more openly. Transforming your stress mindset can empower you to tackle the source of your stress rather than avoid it by drinking.)

False Belief #4: Alcohol Helps You Function Better

Another reason people drink is because they think it makes them the best versions of themselves, helping them be more interesting, confident, or better at sex. They think alcohol helps them overcome fears or shyness, allowing them to make new friends at a party or talk to a crush. However, Grace writes that alcohol actually causes you to function worse. It may help you care less, but it ultimately numbs your senses, lowers your inhibitions, and prevents you from thinking clearly.

(Shortform note: The reason alcohol impairs rather than improves your functioning is that it’s a central nervous system depressant. Depressants are drugs that slow your brain functioning and neural activity. The opposite of depressants are stimulants, which increase energy and alertness. Although alcohol is classified as a depressant, it initially provides stimulating effects, which reduce social inhibitions and may trick you into believing that you’re functioning better. However, it ultimately slows your brain activity and does the opposite, impairing your cognitive functioning.)

Grace writes that shyness and fear are natural and even helpful emotions. They help us decide what’s appropriate to say and do. They also motivate us to prepare well for challenging tasks. By numbing these emotions with alcohol, we not only miss out on their benefits and perform our tasks poorly, but we also risk our safety and well-being as well as others’. Grace writes that alcohol not only reduces sexual desire and performance, but it also increases the likelihood of dangerous behavior, like sexual assault.

(Shortform note: In Talking to Strangers, Malcolm Gladwell explains that drinking alcohol not only prevents you from knowing how to act and express yourself, but it also prevents you from understanding others accurately, which becomes dangerous for sensitive situations like those that involve sexual consent. These effects happen because alcohol affects your brain and puts you in a state of myopia. In this state, your attention narrows so that you only focus on the immediate present and no longer consider future consequences.)

False Belief #5: Alcohol Enhances Social Experiences

Another reason people drink is that they believe it makes social experiences better and more enjoyable. Grace points out that alcohol is so strongly associated with celebration in society that we assume the joy we feel is due to the alcohol. What many of us don’t realize is that the joy comes from spending time with others and doing activities that you enjoy, not from drinking.

(Shortform note: Some research shows that the belief that alcohol enhances social experiences and makes people happier is largely due to the placebo effect—when you take a drug and experience the desired outcome not because the drug works but because you believe it works. In the study, people who believed they were drinking (despite having received nonalcoholic drinks) reported feeling more inebriated while those who believed they were drinking nonalcoholic drinks (while given actual alcoholic drinks) reported fewer symptoms of inebriation. This suggests that the alcohol itself doesn’t increase enjoyment, but rather the expectation and belief that alcohol will do so.)

Grace challenges you to think back to the happy memories you had before you started drinking. Doing this will help you realize that you don’t need alcohol to enjoy yourself. You can also try not drinking during one social gathering. You’ll likely find that social experiences are even more fun and rewarding when you’re sober, Grace writes.

(Shortform note: A growing movement called sober curiosity calls for people to be mindful and question their relationship with alcohol, even if they don’t struggle with alcohol dependence. Like Grace’s suggestions, this movement encourages people to reflect on widely accepted beliefs about alcohol, form their own opinions, and seek alternative ways to have fun or relieve stress. Establishments have caught on to this movement as well, and if you want to try Grace’s experiment to not drink during one social gathering, you could consider going to a sober bar.)

Part 3: Become Sober Without Formal Treatment

Now that you’ve learned the truth about alcohol, addiction and the misguided reasons why people drink, let’s discuss Grace’s method for recovering from alcohol dependence. According to Grace, quitting alcohol by yourself, without any formal treatment, is much more effective than traditional recovery programs.

Popular programs like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) make you feel as though you have to accept sobriety, which makes you feel powerless and creates a sense that you’re losing something valuable by not drinking. However, when you choose to quit of your own volition and by changing your unconscious beliefs, you feel more at peace with your decision and are less likely to want to drink again. You choose rather than accept living without alcohol because you know that alcohol has nothing good to offer and that life is better without it.

Can You Mature Out of Addiction?

Some experts argue that quitting alcohol on your own is not only more effective than traditional recovery programs like Alcoholics Anonymous, it’s often the natural outcome for alcohol addiction. They call this “maturing out of addiction,” and explain that, as people grow older, their brains become more risk averse, so high-risk behaviors like drinking alcohol become less attractive. This, along with other life changes like getting a new job or having children, enables many people to quit without needing formal treatment.

In addition to changing your unconscious beliefs to recover spontaneously from alcohol, they also suggest you build up your resources and use strategies that activate your prefrontal cortex. For example, you can try “urge surfing,” which entails waiting out your cravings for 10 minutes. You can also stay busy with other activities to distract yourself and find alternative ways to soothe yourself instead of using alcohol (such as treating yourself to a nice meal or a massage).

Commit to Quitting Alcohol

You might wonder whether you can have the occasional drink instead of quitting alcohol completely. However, Grace argues that it’s better to commit to quitting alcohol completely than to drink moderately. She provides several reasons:

First, as we’ve discussed, alcohol is an addictive drug that gradually changes your brain. You can’t tell when you’ll become physically dependent on alcohol. Because you can’t control how your brain reacts to alcohol, moderation is hard to achieve.

(Shortform note: Many addiction experts agree with Grace that quitting alcohol completely is the safest approach and that anyone who drinks is at risk of developing an addiction. However, they argue that moderation can be a good first step, or even long-term goal, for people who want to quit alcohol. They say moderation should be an option because alcohol addiction is complex—people’s experiences differ, and they struggle with different alcohol-related problems. This option, however, is most suitable for people with less severe alcohol problems who haven’t been physically addicted to alcohol or other drugs.)

Second, Grace argues that decision-making is a draining and stressful mental activity. When you drink moderately, you must constantly decide when and how much to drink. Moreover, alcohol impairs your judgment and makes it easier to lose control of your drinking. By making a firm commitment to stop drinking, you free yourself from the ongoing dilemma of whether to drink or not.

(Shortform note: In The Willpower Instinct, Kelly McGonigal explains why making decisions drains your mental energy: It requires your brain to go into pause-and-plan mode, which activates your higher-level thinking and interrupts the impulsive instincts of your fight-or-flight response. According to McGonigal, using our pause-and-plan mode and exercising willpower takes a lot of energy. When the glucose that fuels your brain drops, your brain switches off higher-energy functions like your willpower. She says this is why most people have higher self-control in the mornings and lower self-control in the evenings—which is also when people are more likely to drink alcohol.)

Find Pleasure in Abstinence

Once you’ve challenged your unconscious beliefs, you should no longer have a desire to drink. All that’s left to do is to make the commitment and quit drinking. Once you decide to quit alcohol, you might wonder how you can stay sober when other people are drinking around you. According to Grace, you don’t need to avoid settings where alcohol is present. All you must do is remember the harmful truths of alcohol and addiction. When you remember the true nature of alcohol, you’ll realize that giving it up isn’t a sacrifice but a pleasure, and you won’t even feel tempted to drink.

(Shortform note: To remind yourself that alcohol is harmful, consider creating positive affirmations that refute the unconscious beliefs you had about drinking. In Manifest, Roxie Nafousi defines positive affirmations as statements that promote positive beliefs and explains how to create them: Think of an unhelpful belief and state the opposite. For example, if you think alcohol gives you confidence, your affirmation might be “I have the strength and courage to overcome any challenge and achieve my goals without alcohol.” When you recite your affirmations regularly, they’ll gradually replace your negative beliefs, Nafousi writes.)

To quit drinking without formal treatment and remind yourself that life is better without alcohol, consider some of Grace’s suggestions.

1. Accept that you have an emotional or physical dependence on alcohol. As we’ve discussed, alcohol is a drug that affects your mind and body. Depending on your level of dependence, you may experience withdrawal symptoms that can be difficult to deal with. If you’re struggling with withdrawal, Grace recommends you seek medical help or go to a rehabilitation center.

(Shortform note: Acknowledging that you have a dependence on alcohol can be hard to do. If you’re struggling to find acceptance of your alcohol addiction, consider joining a support group. Also, quitting alcohol abruptly can cause severe withdrawal symptoms, such as seizures, so many experts advise you to consult a medical professional before you do. If you’re worried about these risks, you can consider seeking a professional drug detox program, which can help you ease withdrawal symptoms.)

2. Accept that alcohol does nothing good for you. Grace urges you to regularly challenge your unconscious beliefs about alcohol. When you recognize that alcohol has only caused pain and that being sober enhances your life, you’ll eliminate your desire to drink altogether. When you view alcohol as the dangerous and harmful substance it is, you’ll find it much easier to live without it.

(Shortform note: In addition to dismantling unhealthy beliefs about alcohol, it may also help to build up healthy beliefs about yourself. In Radical Acceptance, Tara Brach writes that addiction stems from the desire to escape feelings of inadequacy. She encourages you to accept yourself for who you are, including your imperfections. By cultivating self-worth and fully embracing who you are, you’ll realize you don’t need alcohol or any other substance to feel happy, fulfilled, and successful.)

3. Start living life without alcohol. You may feel uncertain about quitting alcohol, but Grace writes that that’s normal. You just have to commit to not drinking, even if only for a period of time. When you do, you’ll discover the benefits of living alcohol-free and recognize that life is better without alcohol.

(Shortform note: To give yourself some extra support as you embark on your alcohol-free journey, some experts recommend you track your sobriety using recovery apps. These apps can provide you with accountability, help you see your progress, and boost your motivation during difficult times.)

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