PDF Summary:The Surrender Experiment, by Michael A. Singer

How did Michael Singer go from hippie college kid to multi-millionaire CEO? The Surrender Experiment tells the extraordinary story of Singer’s 40-year commitment to saying yes to the opportunities life presented him. In this book, which follows his best seller, The Untethered Soul, Singer imparts the spiritual lessons he’s learned about living a wholehearted life that’s free of judgments and devoted to service.

Michael “Mickey” Singer is an American spiritual teacher, motivational speaker, and author who founded the meditation and yoga center, The Temple of the Universe, in Alachua, Florida. He’s a lifelong practitioner of meditation and yoga and a successful software developer.

In this guide, we’ll discuss the valuable lessons Singer imparts about how to make your life exactly as the universe wants it to be. Throughout the guide, we’ll expand on some of Singer’s realizations by explaining the Buddhist principles they’re derived from. We’ll also compare his lessons with those of other spiritual and self-help authors like Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, Tara Brach, and Gary Zukav.

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(Shortform note: Stoic philosophy, originating in ancient Greece, teaches careful control of emotions, as they arise from false judgments about the world. In The Daily Stoic, Ryan Holiday says the foundation of Stoic thought is the premise that because we can’t control much in life, we must learn to control how we react to life. In this worldview, the most important tool we have is reason. If we think rationally and calmly through situations, we’ll be much more at peace and live a more virtuous life than someone who is always at the whim of their emotions.)

After success with the weather, Singer applied this to the rest of his life by detaching from his personal preferences and just saying yes to whatever the universe put in front of him. When someone asked him to do something, or an opportunity presented itself, he’d notice any mental resistance or urge to reject the situation. Then he’d set that resistance aside and say yes instead. Since resistance and judgment made up the bulk of his mental chatter, by giving no attention to it he was finally able to silence that inner voice.

Singer describes his simple two-step process to practicing surrender:

1. When life presents you with an opportunity, notice any feelings you have about what you want or don’t want, your likes and dislikes.
2. Ask what would happen if your preferences weren’t a factor, and do that.

For example, let’s say a friend asks you to go along on a trip with them, and you’re undecided. It sounds fun, but you’re also busy, and you don’t really like flying. If you take your preferences out of the equation, it would be up to your friend, and you’d go. So go. Life is putting this in front of you. You never know what other opportunities might present themselves as a result of this trip.

(Shortform note: This is in contrast with a lot of recent self-help advice urging people to learn to say no. In The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks says that you shouldn’t spend time doing anything that doesn’t enhance your state of fulfillment. He says we tend to spend too much time doing things we don’t really want to do out of a sense of obligation, and we should resist that. This is in conflict with Singer’s advice to set aside what you like and want, and trust that life is presenting this opportunity to you, even if it might not feel personally “good” to you.)

The Experiment in Action: Surrendering to the Flow

Now that Singer had made the commitment to surrender, how would it actually play out in his life? In this section, we’ll discuss some of the major lessons he learned during this 40-year practice. We’ll describe some of the specific life circumstances to which Singer surrendered and show how each resulted in expanded opportunities and growth.

Trust the Universe

One of Singer’s first chances to practice surrender came in the form of a teaching opportunity. Through a series of decisions to say yes when his mind was saying no, he would learn that the universe knew better than him what was meant for his life.

When Singer became fully immersed in his meditation practice, he lost interest in pursuing his graduate degree and decided not to finish it. But when his professors urged him to continue, he applied his method for surrender by discarding his preference (not wanting to continue school) and finishing his degree. This led to a colleague asking him to teach classes at a local community college. He didn’t want to teach; he just wanted to be alone on his land, lost in meditation. So again he was tempted to say no. But he reminded himself it wasn’t about what he wanted. Life was presenting this opportunity, so he surrendered and said yes despite great mental resistance.

Go With the Flow

The idea of surrendering to what life wants mirrors Deepak Chopra’s assertion that true success comes from aligning with the spiritual energy of the universe that’s flowing through you. Chopra says trying to control external events in our lives is based in fear and gives us anxiety. However, when you connect with the spiritual realm, your life will naturally begin to flow with the energy of the universe, and this will bring you true success—a joyful life.

Jay Shetty says this is why monks are the most peaceful, happy people in the world. They exist at all times in this state of harmonious flow with the energy of life. In Think Like a Monk, Shetty offers some advice on how to experience this flow. Some strategies he suggests are:

• Explore your fears, asking yourself why you fear what you do. Continue asking “why?” until you’ve identified the deepest root of the fear. This will ultimately help you detach from those fears, and then let go of the need to try to control your environment.

• Practice forgiveness and gratitude. Release the negative feelings you’re holding on to from the past, and shift your focus to what you’re grateful for in the present.

• When you confront challenges in life, instead of thinking about what you need to do, think about how you need to be. For example, instead of thinking, “I need to confront this person and explain what they did wrong,” think, “I need to be patient and understanding in this interaction.”

Singer also taught his classes with an attitude of surrender, allowing the conversation to flow in whatever direction it naturally went. As a result, his classes became wildly popular with students. Word of mouth spread and his classes filled to capacity. People on and around campus took interest in what he had to say and sought him out for his knowledge. Because he spoke of his meditation practice in his classes, people began coming to his land to meditate with him. Of course, being a person who craved solitude, Singer didn’t initially want this. But he realized this was a particularly important thing to surrender to because others were seeking out the kind of spiritual experiences he’d been having. He reasoned that this was clearly something the universe wanted to happen, so he allowed it to happen.

The next turn of events presented perhaps the most difficult challenge for surrender: Singer went out of town for a few weeks, and when he returned he found a friend of his, Sandy, building a house for herself on his land. Sandy had been coming to the land regularly to join him for meditation and had decided she wanted to live there. Without even asking him, she had just started building. He was initially shocked. His mind instinctively rejected this possibility and reeled with confusion and indignance. But he was adept at controlling his responses by now, so he walked away and went to quietly contemplate this. He went through his surrender process in his mind. If it weren’t about his preferences, what would happen? Sandy would build her house on his land.

It didn’t take long for him to decide he had no choice but to surrender. He had made the commitment. So, he calmly accepted it, picked up his tools, and began to help her build. Not only was this the most difficult act of surrender so far, but it was also perhaps the most crucial because of what it led to.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

Although we can reasonably assume that Singer doesn’t believe you should allow people to take advantage of you, some of the examples of surrender he describes could be seen as having a lack of healthy boundaries by the standards of some current self-help advice. In fact, some experts say setting boundaries and saying no are essential to pursuing your highest contribution in life.

In Essentialism, Greg McKeown says that in our modern technology-driven culture, boundaries have slowly disintegrated to the point that we’re expected to be available to everyone at all times. McKeown says you must push back against people who don’t respect your boundaries, because such people make their problems your problems, and they take advantage of you.

It’s likely that most self-help experts today would consider building a house on someone else’s land without permission a serious boundary violation.

When Sandy had her house built, she began bringing friends around regularly for meditation sessions. Singer also didn’t want this to happen, of course, but he went with the flow. The group grew and grew until a spiritual community had formed on his land. He came to realize that this was meant to be, and none of it would have happened if he had made decisions based on his personal preferences.

Make Your Life an Act of Service

Singer’s next lesson was that he needed a bigger purpose. His ego had drawn him toward meditation and yoga because of what it could do for him. But truly surrendering to life would mean acting in service of something greater than himself.

Since a regular community was now practicing meditation and yoga on his property, with him as the leading figure, Singer began seeking out spiritual gurus for their wisdom. By 1974, a young woman named Donna had moved into Sandy’s house; Donna urged Singer to contact a popular Indian guru named Baba Muktananda to ask him to visit Gainesville. Reluctantly, Singer surrendered and said yes. In the winter of 1975, he and Donna organized a weekend retreat for spiritual seekers to come to hear Baba speak. It was wildly successful. The venue was filled to capacity. Ultimately, as a result of this surrender, Baba Muktananda became Singer’s guru, and Donna eventually became his wife.

One of the most profound lessons Singer would learn from Baba was about the importance of acts of service. Observing how Baba devoted his life to serving others inspired Singer to embrace all the events that had transpired to change his life, because he had allowed life to do what it wanted, in the service of others. He realized he must view his whole life as an act of service.

The Servant’s Heart

In The Purpose Driven Life, Pastor Rick Warren gives a Christian perspective on the concept of life as an act of service. He says everyone has a God-given purpose in life, and your life should be centered on discovering and living that purpose intended for you.

Warren describes the five characteristics of a servant’s heart. Although they’re derived from a different faith tradition, these characteristics and principles align well with what Singer learned about service from his guru.

• Availability: A life of service requires you to keep your daily schedule as flexible as possible, in case an opportunity for service should arise. When you are needed for something that serves your purpose, you should be able to put down other things and attend to that act of service.

• Perceptiveness: A servant stays open to the needs of others at all times and notices moments when they can be of service. Pay attention to the little things around you, and look for opportunities to help others.

• Dedication: Always put your whole heart and effort into your service and do the best you can. Remember that no act of service is too small.

• Reliability: A servant is always dependable and trustworthy. People who know you should always know they can count on you.

• Humility: The true servant doesn’t serve for their own glory or gain. Remember, you are doing this in service to a higher power, not for your own benefit.

The Temple Is Founded

The next turn of events would further reinforce for Singer how devotion to a life of service can result in extraordinary events. His next act of surrender would result in his most beloved lifelong project and the embodiment of his life as service: the Temple of the Universe.

After the success of the previous retreat, Singer was asked to host another guru for a second retreat—an Indian saint called Ma Yoga Shakti, or Mataji. Again he mentally resisted, and again he ultimately surrendered and said yes. When Mataji arrived, Singer took her on a walk around his property. At one point on the walk, Mataji stopped suddenly and told him she felt a holy presence in that spot. She then said something that caught him completely off guard: She told him she could foresee that there would one day be a temple in that very spot. His immediate mental response was “absolutely not!” but by now he was able to quickly realize it wasn’t up to him, and he reminded himself of his new commitment to making his life an act of service.

(Shortform note: Ma Yoga Shakti, born in Varanasi, India in 1927, devoted her life to the service of humanity, and particularly to women. She was one of the first prominent female Hindu gurus and was a major contributor to the spread of yoga to the West. She died in 2011.)

Within months, Singer and his community began building The Temple of the Universe on his property. The first services were held in the Temple in the fall of 1975, and they continue to be held there regularly to this day. (Shortform note: As of 2022, the Temple of the Universe offers weekly Sunday services delivered by Singer, as well as meditation and chanting ceremonies, and free twice-weekly yoga classes.)

Put Your Whole Heart and Soul Into Everything

Next, life would have a lesson for Singer about wholeheartedness. A new interest in computer programming would teach him that if he dove into something with his whole heart and soul, life would reward him accordingly.

On a fall day in 1978, Singer’s life took an unexpected turn in a Radio Shack store. He was making a purchase when something caught his eye: It was one of the first computers made for personal use, and he was instantly fascinated by it. As he began playing around with the computer, he had an intense feeling that he needed to learn more about this technology. A few days later he bought the computer, having no idea what he was going to do with it, but knowing he needed to listen to that feeling.

When Singer got the computer home, he became completely absorbed in it, almost as if it were another form of meditation. This new fascination led to him learning everything he could about computer programming, and he taught himself how to write programs to help him with some of his business tasks. He spent every spare minute of his day diving into programming. He then showed some of his programs to the manager at Radio Shack, and from there he began getting requests from others who wanted programs for a variety of tasks. Of course, he had to say yes to them.

Before long, Singer had a new business called Personalized Programming. This was Singer’s first experience with significant financial success, and it allowed for the expansion of his most important endeavor, the Temple. And he realized it happened because he had put his whole heart and soul into pursuing what the universe presented.

Keep Your Spiritual Heart Open

In his previous book, The Untethered Soul, Singer discusses how we all have an inner spiritual energy we can channel to give us motivation, drive, and inspiration. If we’re connected to that, we can put our whole heart and soul into anything we do. But we have to remain open to it and work through any blockages we have.

Singer says this universal energy is like a force field that permeates you and everything in life. Everyone has access to it, but we have bad habits and negative patterns, largely from past life experiences, that impede the flow of this energy through us. He offers some advice for keeping your spiritual heart open:

• Observe shifts in your energy toward tightness or negativity. Notice when anger, jealousy, and other negative emotions come up.

• When you feel this happening, allow yourself to feel those emotions, then relax, breathe through them, and let them go.

• Remind yourself that those disturbances are not you. You are the one noticing the disturbances.

• Practice this regularly, and notice how it shifts your energy to a feeling of lightness and openness.

By becoming more adept at keeping your spiritual heart open, you’ll feel more motivation and inspiration in your life and will be better equipped for putting your heart and soul into your life’s work.

As the programming business grew and became more financially lucrative, Singer was able to buy pieces of property adjacent to his current plot and expand the grounds and buildings for the Temple. Each time he was able to amass some savings, another plot would coincidentally come up for sale. In this way, he was able to support the Temple with his programming business.

By 1980, as the result of a request that he surrendered to, Singer had designed a specialty software called The Medical Manager that ended up being used by medical offices nationwide. Singer began hiring employees and creating office space on his expanded land, and by the end of the 1980s, The Medical Manager Corporation was a multimillion-dollar business. Its offices, the Temple, and Singer’s new house now sat on his 170-acres property. Throughout all of this, Singer maintained his firm commitment to daily meditation practice and the Temple. He never relented on his commitment to surrender, service, and wholeheartedness.

(Shortform note: Although Singer’s business led him to financial abundance and high social status, these weren’t necessarily his goals. Rather, they were byproducts of his devotion to service and surrender. In his book, The Seat of the Soul, Gary Zukav distinguishes between the pursuit of external vs. internal (or authentic) power. He says you can only experience authentic, internal power when you let go of materialistic pursuits. In order to move in the direction of authentic power, Zukav says you should embrace prayer and faith, and listen to the spiritual guidance that comes to you in prayer.)

The expansion and growth of his business and land continued throughout the next decade. By early 2000, The Medical Manager was valued at $3.5 billion when it merged with WebMD. This was beyond anything Singer had ever dreamed of. But life would have one more important lesson for him.

Use Adversity to Your Advantage

After many years of wild success, Singer was forced to confront the greatest adversity he’d ever faced, and it taught him that even our obstacles and adversity can be used for good. He describes this life event as the final necessary step in dissolving his ego.

(Shortform note: Ryan Holiday says in The Obstacle is the Way that learning to see obstacles as empowering opportunities is fundamental to developing a Stoic mindset. He says any difficult situation will have an opportunity hidden within it, and it’s up to you to discover what it is and take advantage of it. In line with Singer’s experiment with letting go of his preferences and value judgments, Holiday says that judging situations as good or bad creates suffering. Situations themselves are neither inherently good nor bad—it’s how we respond to them that determines how they’ll affect us.)

In September 2003, Singer received an unexpected phone call from his attorney telling him he needed to come to the office right away. The FBI was raiding his business complex. Confused, Singer rushed to the office to find a full-scale raid in process. The agents were taking everything—from computers to disk drives, to every paper file in the office. Singer was told that the company was being investigated for fraud.

The next several years of Singer’s life would be tied up with lawyers, judges, and court hearings. From the beginning, he insisted he had no knowledge of any fraud and had never done anything inappropriate. But when he asked his lawyer what the chances were of the charges being dropped, the lawyer told him it would take a miracle. So Singer decided he must believe a miracle would happen.

This period of his life would be a difficult test of Singer’s inner strength and his resolve to let go of control. He reminded himself of his commitment to surrender, and he practiced radical acceptance of the situation, resolving to simply tell the truth and believe that justice would prevail. But he actually went one step further than acceptance and surrender: He decided he would use the situation as an opportunity to deepen his spiritual practice and his commitment to service. He stepped down as CEO of the company and used the time to write his book, The Untethered Soul, which would become a best seller and have an enormously positive effect on many people.

(Shortform note: The Untethered Soul was published in 2007. Its primary purpose is in teaching you how to live in the present moment and release painful thoughts of the past and worries of the future. Considering Singer’s legal situation at the time, writing a book about how to avoid stressing about future outcomes is quite apt.)

In January 2011, more than seven years after the FBI raid, a judge ruled that the fraud was committed by a few employees without Singer’s knowledge. The case against Singer was dropped. He had received his miracle. Upon reflection, Singer ultimately realized this kind of adversity was exactly what he needed to solidify his belief in surrendering completely to the universe and to learn how to use difficulty as an opportunity. After the outcome of that case, when he looked back on the 40-year results of his experiment with surrender, he knew this book was his next task.

Practice Radical Acceptance

Singer embraced the concept of “radical acceptance” during this difficult phase of his life. In her book on the topic, psychologist and spiritual teacher Tara Brach says accepting the painful experiences of life goes against our conditioning—we’re so used to resisting and avoiding pain and suffering. But she says when we learn to see and accept ourselves and our lives exactly as they are, it frees us. Rather than worrying about the future, regretting the past, or trying to control the future, we can just relax and accept what is.

Brach says this process involves both your mind and your heart: You should use your mind to recognize and accurately identify what is happening in your life so you have a clear understanding of the problem. Then, use your heart to embrace your life and self with compassion.