PDF Summary:The Daily Laws, by Robert Greene

In The Daily Laws, Robert Greene argues that we lead our lives guided by false beliefs: We believe that chasing money will make us happy, that others always have our best interests at heart, and that our flaws are smaller than other peoples’, among other things. However, because these beliefs aren’t based in reality, they leave us unhappy and unfulfilled. To stop being led astray and made miserable by these false beliefs, Greene writes that we must become more attuned to reality—to the ways the world actually works and how people actually behave. He provides a lesson for each day of the year on how to reconnect with reality and thus become happier and more fulfilled.

The Daily Laws is a compilation of core maxims from five of his other books, including The 48 Laws of Power and The Laws of Human Nature. Throughout the guide, we’ll compare Greene’s insights with those found in other books, such as Scott Young’s Ultralearning and Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations, and provide actionable suggestions on how you can apply his lessons to your life.

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How to Read People

Greene writes that to read people’s true emotions, you must develop empathy—the ability to see from another person’s perspective. This allows you to view people more rationally, rather than through the filter of your own emotions, and to distinguish allies from rivals. To develop empathy, refrain from judging others immediately based on how they look or behave. Instead, accumulate concrete evidence to better understand people’s true feelings and intentions.

(Shortform note: Greene focuses on empathy as a tool for reading people, but empathizing with others is also key to building trust, which Evy Poumpouras argues is necessary if you want to influence others. In Becoming Bulletproof, Poumpouras writes that interacting with others without empathy might lead them to be suspicious and defensive, which can make it harder to influence them.)

Greene offers three tips on how to read people:

Tip 1: Past behaviors. Greene says you should judge people based on their past actions rather than on their words or reputation because their words and reputation might make someone appear kind or generous when they’re actually not. Past patterns of behavior, however, reflect the truth. For example, someone might say that they value generosity, but in the past, you’ve seen that they never tip at restaurants.

Tip 2: Extreme behaviors. People who are suppressing negative emotions or intentions often compensate by exaggerating the opposite behavior. For example, someone may appear overly friendly to mask their irritation. Greene says you can judge whether these behaviors are genuine by looking for subtle signals betraying their true feelings, such as an eye roll.

Tip 3: Self-interest. According to Greene, you can often judge a person’s real motives by reflecting on who benefits from a situation or event. To varying degrees, everyone is occupied with their own wants and needs, and if you detect that someone will benefit more than you will from an interaction, this might clue you in to possible underhanded intentions, which can help you avoid deception. For example, a common way people promote their own interests is by giving gifts to lower other people’s defenses and make them feel indebted to them.

Detecting Deception Through Verbal Cues

Greene's strategies on what to look for to uncover people's hidden emotions and intentions focus on extreme behaviors and past situations. In Becoming Bulletproof, Evy Poumpouras points out additional suggestions on how to understand others through the way they speak, as well as more evidence you can look for in the moment.

First, she recommends establishing a baseline of their behavior, or how they normally act. Then, when you interact with them, note unusual changes in their behavior or words. Look for multiple “red flags,” and keep these verbal cues in mind:

Present tense—While Greene advises relying on past behaviors rather than people’s words, Poumpouras points out that the way people tell stories can be just as revealing. Since stories happened in the past, people should use the past tense when telling them. When people use the present tense, it might be a clue that they’re making up the story as they go.

Overdramatic answers—Greene contends that people exaggerate behaviors to cover up their true emotions. Similarly, Poumpouras says that deceptive people often exaggerate through their words as well, such as swearing on the life of a family member.

Minimizing the importance of an issue or acting as if they’re in a hurry—Poumpouras explains that people who are lying might brush off a subject or act as if you’re wasting their time. This might indicate they’re trying to end the conversation and avoid further questions. This cue might help you determine whether someone’s masking their self-interest, as Greene suggests, by omitting or brushing off any discussion about personal benefits.

How to Interact With People

To gain power, you must learn how to behave around people with different degrees of power. In many social situations, you’ll encounter people with more power than you and people who want to take power from you. Greene writes that you must curry favor with your superiors and outwit your rivals to put yourself in good social standing.

Praise and honor people who have higher authority than you. When you make them feel superior or subtly compliment them on what they care most about (such as their charitability or intelligence), they’ll naturally want to reward you. Greene cautions you never to overshadow your superiors or you’ll become a threat they’ll want to get rid of.

Greene suggests you convert your rivals into potential allies, if possible, so that they become useful to you. If you can’t do this, he says you must defeat enemies by studying them, targeting their core weaknesses, and undermining their reputations. However, since power dynamics are ever-changing, Greene cautions against ever letting your guard down, since your rivals might become more powerful in the future.

Additional Tips on How to Interact With Others

In How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie agrees with Greene’s advice to make people feel more important, elaborating on why this approach makes you more likable: You’re validating how important they already feel about themselves. To further boost other people’s feelings of superiority, give praise without asking for anything in return, publicly support their work, and listen to their unique struggles.

While Greene advises you turn rivals into allies when possible, he doesn’t provide deeper insights into how you can achieve this. Carnegie offers advice on how to communicate with people who disagree with you, which may help you get your rival on your side. He suggests you start the conversation by talking about something you both agree on before voicing your differing opinions, but let them speak first. Avoid directly refuting them or forcing your ideas upon them as you’ll only insult their pride and cause them to dislike you more.

Appearance and Power

In addition to paying attention to others, be mindful of how you appear in social settings. To gain power, you must adopt a suitable appearance based on the expectations of your current situation. Greene explains that people make decisions about you based on how you present yourself, and learning to change how you behave, dress, and speak allows you to leave good impressions and achieve social success. For example, it’s more appropriate to wear a suit at an orchestral audition than a rock band audition. At the former, you’d want to act courteously. At the latter, you’d want to act more expressively.

(Shortform note: In The Magic of Thinking Big, David J. Schwartz says that dressing your best not only commands more respect from others but also increases your own self-respect. He argues that before you can be powerful in the eyes of others, you must have high self-confidence. What you wear, Schwartz explains, affects how you view yourself. In each environment, he suggests you ask yourself whether you look like someone important.)

While you’ll want to adjust your appearance depending on the situation, here are three of Greene’s strategies that will increase your control over any situation:

Element 1: Reputation

According to Greene, you can control how others perceive you by developing a strong reputation—a public image that people associate you with. A strong reputation gives people the impression that you’re powerful, allowing you to influence and intimidate others. Greene suggests you base your reputation on a unique quality that you have, such as a quirky personality trait or style of dress. Then, build your reputation further by adopting universally positive traits such as humility, open-mindedness, and generosity. While appearing ordinary may be relatable, it won’t make you seem alluring or valuable. When you act special, people treat you as such.

(Shortform note: A different way to think about your reputation is as establishing a personal brand—the skills, images, and values that you want people to associate with you. Having a personal brand allows people to recognize your unique value, which helps you not only influence others, as Greene points out, but also attract more career opportunities. You can strengthen your personal brand by getting involved with projects that reflect your brand, finding like-minded people who can share your message, and creating or reposting content.)

Element 2: Independence

Greene argues that the more control you have over your emotions and choices, the more power you have. To maintain control, you must stay independent and detached in your social interactions. When you take things personally, you lose the ability to approach situations rationally and with control. Avoid taking sides, making commitments, and getting dragged into unnecessary conflicts—if someone you know is angry at someone else, stay calm and objective. Similarly, be careful when accepting gifts because they make you feel obligated to give something in return.

(Shortform note: One way you can stay out of other people’s drama is by setting boundaries, which involves clearly voicing your limits. In Essentialism, Greg McKeown writes that setting boundaries helps you gain respect in the long run and allows you to focus your energy on what truly matters to you.)

Element 3: Mystery

According to Greene, a person of power maintains an element of mystery and unpredictability. If you’re an open book, people can easily tell what you want and what your next move will be, which leaves you vulnerable and not in control. Greene suggests three methods to appear mysterious and unpredictable:

Method 1: Say less and keep the meaning of your words as open to interpretation as possible. This makes it harder for people to figure you out, which makes you both interesting and intimidating. If you talk too much, you risk revealing vulnerabilities or sounding foolish. In particular, avoid over-explaining your mistakes—by doing this, you only draw attention to them and make them seem more glaring. Instead, address them simply or ignore them completely.

(Shortform note: While being ambiguous with your language can lend you an air of mystery, be careful not to take it so far that you become irritating or come off as passive-aggressive. Experts argue that people often use indirect communication during conflicts to hint at their point without offending the other person. Instead, especially during conflicts, experts recommend you communicate your feelings clearly, as this gives others the chance to express their own perspectives and allows for productive solutions rather than repressed bitterness.)

Method 2: Be absent from time to time. When you’re always around, people start to take you for granted. Instead, take advantage of the law of scarcity: The less of something there is, the more coveted it becomes. Greene advises withdrawing occasionally to increase people’s desire to see you.

(Shortform note: In Influence, Robert Cialdini explains that we value things with limited availability because scarcity often accurately reflects how valuable something is. When there’s less of something, we often assume it’s because there’s great demand for it. If you give people the impression that your time and company are in short supply, people will value your presence and prioritize you more. You can enhance this effect, Cialdini explains, by adding an element of competition: If you hint that another person is demanding your time, you’ll make others more eager to capture some of your time or attention.)

Method 3: Be unpredictable. Prevent people from understanding you by constantly shifting your behaviors, entertaining new perspectives, and acting against expectations. This way, people won’t be able to read your intentions and manipulate you. For instance, Greene says you should talk excessively about your secondary goals to distract people from your true goals.

(Shortform note: Although being unpredictable might throw off your opponents when making power plays, many relationship experts contend that being predictable helps form stronger and long-lasting relationships because it makes you seem more trustworthy. Acting unpredictably makes it harder to form intimate connections as people feel insecure and view you as unreliable.)

Seduction and Persuasion

According to Greene, the ability to seduce and persuade others is a crucial form of power that allows you to control people and get what you want out of your interactions. Rather than use intimidation or force, you can take advantage of their natural desires and charm them into falling under your influence. Three ways to seduce and persuade others are to make them lower their guard, play into their fantasies, and appeal to their emotions.

(Shortform note: Other experts agree with Greene on the power of persuasion, elaborating that effective persuasion uses emotions rather than logic. Persuasion that targets emotions is so powerful because we tend to more readily agree with people who make us feel good or who present proposals that align with our values and opinions. For example, someone might be staunchly opposed to trying a popular drink just because a celebrity they dislike endorses it.)

Lower Their Guard

According to Greene, to influence others, you must lower their guard by making yourself seem similar to them. Try to mirror their values, tastes, and beliefs in your words and behaviors. This makes them feel validated and increases their sense of security, which helps them feel more comfortable and open to your ideas and suggestions.

To figure out what others like and value, encourage them to talk for most of your interaction. Greene explains that people are driven most by self-interest, so you won’t be persuasive if you focus on what you personally value or need. Rather, frame the conversation around their needs and interests.

(Shortform note: In How to Talk to Anyone, Leil Lowndes agrees with Greene on the importance of validating people, adding that people only want to engage with you if they think that you like them. To build trust and convey interest, Lowndes suggests using the pronouns “we,” “us,” and “our” to encourage a feeling of friendship.)

Cultivate Fantasy and Desire

To persuade others, play to their fantasies, Greene says. This makes you so likable and charming that people fall under your influence. He explains that everyone has an idea of how they’d like the world to be. When you present that fantasy to them, people are more likely to agree with what you say or do what you want.

(Shortform note: While, according to Greene, you must be a source of desire and fantasy in order to influence people, some experts argue that desire alone isn’t enough. In Pitch Anything, Oren Klaff says that to capture someone’s attention, you must add an element of tension by creating stakes and consequences. He explains that desire causes a person’s brain to release a chemical that piques their interest, but tension generates another chemical that maintains their interest. To generate tension, alternate between rejecting them and accepting them. However, Klaff cautions you not to overdo it as you’ll risk turning desire and tension into fear and anxiety.)

When appealing to other people’s fantasies, present yourself as the only person who can satisfy those fantasies. Identify something they're lacking in their life and show them how only you can fill that void. For example, if they want to feel capable, make it seem as though you’re the only person in their life who views them that way.

(Shortform note: In addition to appealing to someone’s fantasies, you can consider, more broadly, their worldview and create a narrative that matches that worldview. In All Marketers Are Liars, Seth Godin defines a worldview as the beliefs, biases, and values that affect how someone sees themselves and the world and determines what will satisfy their needs. Similar to Greene’s strategy, Godin advises that you tell a story that fits their worldview. For example, if you know the other person is passionate about exercise, and you’re promoting a book you’ve written, you could emphasize how your appreciation of exercise inspired you to write it, which might subconsciously make you and your book seem more appealing to them.)

Another way to generate desire is to associate yourself with something forbidden or unfamiliar. Greene says that people want what they can’t have and secretly long to transgress barriers. Tempt your target with alluring words, but wait to deliver on them. Don’t make it seem like you’re trying to get something out of them—focus on cultivating desire through suspense.

(Shortform note: Psychologists refer to the tendency to desire things that are forbidden as the forbidden fruit effect. They offer several explanations for this effect: People are naturally motivated to reduce uncertainty, and they tend to assume that things are forbidden because they have a hidden value. Another reason, researchers argue, is that forbidden things linger in our memories longer—the more we try not to think about them, the harder it is not to.)

Use Visuals and Appeal to Emotions

According to Greene, you can persuade others more effectively by using images to create lasting emotional impressions. Surround yourself with symbols and imagery that evoke positive feelings, whether you wear a bright piece of clothing or post exciting pictures on social media. When you associate yourself with positive visuals, people will view you more positively, allowing you to control what sort of impression they have of you. Greene explains that visuals are more powerful than words because people’s brains retain them longer. Similarly, people pay more attention to the emotions they feel when you talk than to the words you say.

(Shortform note: There’s scientific reasoning behind why emotions and visual images have a lasting impact on people. In Brain Rules, John Medina explains that sight is our most dominant sense, with over half of our brain dedicated to understanding what we see. Not only do we pay more attention to visual information, but it also alters information perceived by our other senses. For example, you might think different-colored candies have different flavors when, in reality, they all have the same taste. According to Medina, we also pay attention to emotions more than to words for evolutionary reasons: Being alert to feelings like fear or attraction is crucial to survival because it helps us avoid danger and reproduce.)

You can further leave a positive impression by displaying positive emotions yourself. According to Greene, we’re highly sensitive to other people’s body language and are easily influenced by other people’s moods. If you treat the conversation as enjoyable and engage with your target deeply, they may naturally feel and do the same.

(Shortform note: You can influence other people’s emotions with your own because of the mirror neurons in our brains. In The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor explains that these neurons detect the emotions and behaviors of others and activate as though you were feeling or behaving the same way. Additionally, some people’s emotions are more infectious than others’. According to Achor, if you’re more expressive or have stronger social connections with others, you can have an even stronger influence on the emotions of those you’re interacting with.)

Part 3: Live Fully in Reality With a Rational Perspective

At this point, you’ve learned to clarify what truly matters to your life and navigate power dynamics. However, to live a happier and more fulfilling life, you must anchor yourself in the real world in the long term by developing your rationality—the ability to think clearly, see things as they are, and make decisions based on reality rather than emotions. Greene recommends three ways to be more rational.

Behave More Rationally

To view and approach your life more rationally, first learn to control your emotions. Greene explains that it takes more effort to think rationally than emotionally—emotions are strong and cause us to react quickly, preventing us from making rational decisions. The first step in controlling your emotions is to accept this truth of human nature. Because we are human, we all have flaws, inaccurate beliefs, and emotional compulsions, such as the desire to be liked or gain approval. When you acknowledge these tendencies, you gain the awareness and distance to better manage them.

(Shortform note: In Awaken the Giant Within, Tony Robbins says that you can better control your emotions in the future by learning from them when they arise. To do this, put a name to your emotion but don’t judge it as good or bad. Instead, approach a negative emotion as if you’re investigating it—ask yourself whether you can learn anything from your experience, what beliefs might have caused you to feel that way, and what actions you can take to resolve your negative feelings. Robbins says that when you reflect on your emotions, you have a reference for how to handle similar situations in the future.)

Second, Greene recommends developing a stronger sense of self so that you’ll care less about what others think. Since we’re social creatures, we value the approval of others, which may cause us to feel insecure or anxious at work or around our friends. However, when you build your own standards of success instead of seeking approval, you’ll feel less emotionally attached to the opinions and expectations of others. Practice feeling genuine joy for the successes of others while building the discipline to work on and feel proud of your own skills.

Third, Greene advises learning to view situations as neither positive nor negative. He adds that situations are naturally neutral—it’s your emotions that make them good or bad. With this in mind, don’t take things personally but instead treat difficult people or situations as curious puzzles to unravel or a learning experience. Try viewing them neutrally as you would a neutral object, such as a plant or building.

Your Self-Image Affects How You Interpret Situations

In Psycho-Cybernetics, Maxwell Maltz refers to your sense of self as your self-image and defines it as your thoughts about yourself and your past experiences. He explains that these thoughts don’t have to be true for them to affect you—you only need to believe that they’re true, which is why you can fall prey to the false beliefs that Greene discusses. For example, you might think having a lot of friends reflects how likable you are, and this belief affects how you act and interpret other people’s words or actions. Like Greene, Maltz encourages you to develop a stronger sense of self (a positive self-image), and he suggests you do so by visualizing the person you want to be and recalling memories of your past successes.

Maltz also agrees with Greene’s suggestion to view situations neutrally, and he explains why it’s important to do so: Regularly thinking negative thoughts can become a harmful habit that causes you to misinterpret more and more situations negatively. Negative thoughts can become habits because the way you interpret situations affects how you act, which, in turn, reinforces your preexisting interpretation. For example, if you think your colleagues dislike you, you might be distant and aloof, which makes it harder for them to connect with you and reinforces your belief that they dislike you. To combat this habit, Maltz suggests you question negative thoughts or feelings that pop up by considering whether there’s a more rational explanation or whether you might have misinterpreted the situation.

Elevate Your Perspective

According to Greene, to develop your rationality, you should look at your life from a bird’s-eye view—rise beyond the immediate present and consider things from a distance. Often, we get stuck in whatever’s happening and feel overwhelmed with emotions, choices, and false impressions that lead us to react irrationally and make bad decisions. When you elevate your perspective, you can more realistically assess your situation and better predict the consequences of your actions. To do this, Greene suggests you:

Take a step back. When we’re caught up in the moment, we tend to respond to things automatically and rigidly. Greene suggests you back away either physically or mentally—you could leave the room or pause before reacting.

Embrace adaptability and opportunity. To have an elevated perspective, you must acknowledge that nothing is stable or constant. When you’re aware of this, you’ll be able to plan ahead, be prepared for unexpected consequences, and make better decisions.

Elevate Your Perspective With Stoicism

In many ways, Greene's suggestions to develop an elevated perspective go hand-in-hand with the ancient Greek philosophy of Stoicism, which revolves around thinking and living rationally. In Meditations, Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius defines what a healthy mind is according to Stoic philosophy: one that looks neither inward nor outward but merely observes the present moment. Let’s compare Greene’s advice with Stoic ideas on how to cultivate a healthy, rational mind:

• Disinterest: Aurelius says that you should stop acting in your own self-interest and, instead, follow reason and intellect. Stoics emphasize that since every individual dies, the most reasonable way to live is for the good of others. To do this, always pause to observe your thoughts before expressing them. You can take this approach when stepping back from the moment, as Greene advises, and re-evaluate whether you’re approaching things rationally or through the lenses of your fears and desires.

• Cooperation: The Stoics argue that you must embrace your fate and accept whatever comes your way. Aurelius’s arguments mirror Greene’s suggestions to remain flexible: A healthy mind is always calm and prepared. By being more accepting of whatever comes, you’ll find it easier to be calm when confronting challenges.

Embrace the Wonder of Reality

According to Greene, when you recognize and appreciate how amazing life is, you gain a focused and rational outlook on the world. In the modern world, distractions are everywhere, and it’s easy to worry about things that don’t really matter. Sometimes, eliminating these distractions is as simple as reminding yourself of the wonders that exist in your present reality.

(Shortform note: In The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle explains why it’s easy to lose ourselves in worry over pointless issues: We all have a voice inside our heads that’s constantly analyzing and commenting on our lives and the world around us. This voice, which Tolle refers to as the ego, prevents us from seeing the world as it is and causes us to dwell on the past and the future. To reground yourself in the present reality, Tolle says you can practice focusing all of your attention on a mindless task, such as chopping carrots or folding your clothes.)

First, reconnect with your childhood sense of wonder. The world is full of wonder, such as nature or art. When we were children, we noticed this because we were small and vulnerable. As adults, we become preoccupied with distractions and responsibilities like social media and work deadlines. To reconnect with your sense of wonder, Greene recommends becoming an explorer: Visit childhood places, travel to natural places without technology, and study different cultures. When you reopen your eyes to the grand scale of life, you’ll renew your interest in life and experience more joy.

(Shortform note: Psychologists agree with Greene on the power of wonder and awe, adding that when you embrace awe, you can view the world more positively. They provide additional suggestions on how to pursue awe: Tune into your senses, take a break from technology, and spend time in nature. While seeking awe can help you reconnect with reality, research has shown that experiencing awe has additional benefits, such as reducing stress, encouraging generosity, and improving your overall well-being.)

Second, Greene argues that by becoming more aware of our mortality, we can live a life that is richer and more focused. He explains that many societies ignore the idea of death. This only makes us more anxious, however, as we’re left with a subconscious sense of time slipping away yet lose ourselves in daily distractions. Instead, Greene writes that you should accept that human life is impermanent. This awareness helps you focus on the present reality and what’s most important to you, allowing you to better appreciate your life, love the people around you, and feel motivated to achieve your life’s purpose.

(Shortform note: Reflecting on your mortality is a core element of Stoicism. In Meditations, Marcus Aurelius says you should approach everything in your life with the awareness of death: Carry out every task as though it’s the last you’ll ever do. By approaching everything with this perspective, you’ll be more appreciative, focused, and deliberate in your actions than if you take it for granted. Additionally, being aware of your mortality gives you a sense of urgency that helps clarify what matters to you and allows you to live a focused and fulfilling life.)