PDF Summary:The Complete Enneagram, by Beatrice Chestnut

Humans are hardwired for certain motivations, fears, and behaviors that shape our personalities from an early age. In The Complete Enneagram, Beatrice Chestnut explains how the ancient personality typing system of the Enneagram delineates nine distinct personality profiles, each with its own core desires, anxieties, and common patterns of thinking and acting.

The book examines the nine Enneagram personality types in depth, as well as twenty-seven subtypes that emerge from the intersection of each type with three fundamental human instincts. Chestnut outlines how recognizing your dominant personality can strengthen self-awareness, and in turn, guide you to overcome core inhibitions, balance imbalances within yourself, and achieve greater personal growth.

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• In the context of the Enneagram, virtues are seen as the higher qualities each type can embody. For Nines, "right action" involves taking deliberate steps that align with their true self, rather than defaulting to inaction or complacency.

They frequently encounter challenges in recognizing and appreciating their distinct attributes.

Chestnut explains that Nines frequently find it challenging to acknowledge and actively seek out what they personally desire and need. They frequently adjust to their environment while avoiding disturbances, but this flexibility limits them to unexplored opportunities. Nines have the ability to find a deliberate balance between their pursuit of tranquility and the importance they place on their personal goals, acknowledging that they frequently put aside their own desires to cater to the wants and likes of others.

Other Perspectives

• The perception of struggle could be subjective, and some Nines might actually find strength in their adaptability and see it as a unique quality in itself.
• The assumption that avoiding disturbances limits exploration of opportunities may not take into account the possibility that Nines could be selectively choosing their battles and opportunities based on a deeper understanding of their values and priorities.
• The tendency to accommodate others does not necessarily mean neglecting one's own goals; it can also be a strategic choice to foster relationships that may later support personal objectives.

The Challenger personality is identified within the Enneagram framework as Type Eight.

Eights have a driving force that compels them to establish dominance and safeguard their well-being, perceiving the world as potentially antagonistic or lacking. From early on, they cultivated a habit of asserting control and securing a dominant position to ensure their survival.

They primarily strive to preserve their autonomy and ensure their personal security.

The author explains that Eights accumulate strength and establish dominance to compensate for early feelings of exposure and defenselessness, taking on a naturally defiant attitude to safeguard their welfare. Chestnut suggests that Eights often strive to assert control due to previous circumstances that made it impossible to maintain their innocence in their formative years. During their developmental stages, they may have been subjected to physical force, mistreatment, or disregard by a guardian who misused their power, leading to the development of a protective strategy that conceals their susceptibility.

Practical Tips

• You can create a personal autonomy charter by writing down your core values, boundaries, and what autonomy means to you. This exercise helps you clarify what personal security and autonomy look like in your life. For example, if one of your values is independence, you might set a boundary that you will not accept jobs that require constant supervision or don't allow for decision-making freedom.
• Engage in role-reversal exercises with a trusted friend where you take turns playing the part of a dominant and a submissive character in various scenarios. This can provide insight into the dynamics of power and control and help you develop a more empathetic understanding of both positions.
• Develop a role-play exercise with a friend where you practice responding to scenarios that typically evoke a defiant attitude. By acting out different approaches, you can explore alternative ways to safeguard your welfare without defaulting to defiance. For instance, if you usually react defiantly when receiving feedback, role-play a situation where you instead ask clarifying questions or express appreciation for the opportunity to improve.
• Reflect on past experiences where you felt out of control and write a narrative that reimagines these events with you having a positive influence on the outcome. This exercise can help you understand your need for control and how it shapes your behavior. For example, if you felt powerless during a family conflict as a child, rewrite the story where you offer a solution that is heard and considered by your family members.
• Create a personal "power dynamics" map to visualize the influence of past relationships on your current life. Draw a map with yourself at the center, and add branches representing key people from your past, such as guardians or authority figures. Label each branch with words that describe the power dynamic you had with that person. This visual aid can help you see where you might be repeating patterns or where you can assert healthier boundaries.
• Develop a "vulnerability map" with a trusted friend or partner where you both share and discuss areas of sensitivity. This exercise can foster deeper understanding and support within the relationship. You might discover that certain topics or situations make you feel exposed, and by sharing these with someone you trust, you can work together to find ways to navigate these vulnerabilities more comfortably.

Central fear: vulnerability

Chestnut suggests that individuals identified as Eights are motivated by an intense fear of being vulnerable and dominated, leading them to assume an aggressive stance akin to that of a "bully" in order to protect themselves from their internal distress. They feel a greater sense of security when they have enough power to protect their independence, which acts as a barrier against the control of people or situations that seem threatening to them. Chestnut argues that Eights defend against feeling vulnerable by getting big and powerful, which may be an effective strategy for a young person who feels like the world is out to take advantage of them, but doesn't always work well for adults who want to have meaningful connections with others and deepen their own capacity for love and growth.

Practical Tips

• Develop a "stress response plan" that includes calming techniques such as deep breathing, counting to ten, or visualizing a peaceful scene before responding to a situation that makes you feel like you need to be aggressive. Practice these techniques regularly so they become second nature when you're under stress.
• You can develop a personal "power pose" routine to perform before challenging interactions. By adopting physical stances that convey confidence and power, you may feel more in control when facing potentially threatening situations. For example, standing with your hands on your hips and your chest out for two minutes can increase feelings of power, according to some psychological research. Practice this in private before meetings or negotiations to help create a psychological barrier against perceived threats.
• Engage in a new hobby or activity where you are not an expert, and allow yourself to be a beginner. This can teach you to embrace vulnerability and learn from others without feeling the need to appear powerful or in control.
• You can foster meaningful connections by starting a personal growth book club with a focus on deep discussions. Invite a diverse group of adults to read and discuss books that encourage personal growth and meaningful relationships. During meetings, encourage members to share personal experiences and insights related to the themes of the book, which can lead to deeper connections and mutual understanding.

A deep-seated yearning fuels the foundational incentive.

Beatrice Chestnut characterizes the fundamental feeling linked to Type Eight as a powerful desire for plentiful and intense experiences. The trait of strong yearning linked to the personality of Type Eight goes further than mere sexual cravings or the vigorous chase for sexual gratification, though it can manifest in this way for some individuals. Chestnuts contends that Eights exhibit a powerful craving for various forms of excitement, which can manifest as indulgence in hedonistic activities such as excessive eating, overworking, or sleepless nights, or through seeking and surmounting obstacles to savor the exhilaration of triumph.

Practical Tips

• Design a personal challenge that involves a series of adventurous activities, like a mini-adventure race in your city, where you bike, hike, and paddle within a single day. This self-created event will cater to your need for intensity and give you a sense of accomplishment and abundance in your experiences.
• Volunteer for leadership roles in community projects. Taking charge of a local initiative, such as organizing a neighborhood clean-up or leading a fundraising event, can satisfy the need for intensity and influence. This strategy allows you to apply your strong drive in a way that benefits others and can lead to a sense of personal growth and community connection.
• Create a personal 'excitement jar' where you write down exciting activities on slips of paper and draw one at random whenever you feel the urge for excitement. This could include spontaneous road trips, trying an extreme sport, or participating in a local flash mob. The unpredictability will cater to your desire for excitement and keep life adventurous.
• Engage in a weekly "habit swap" where you replace a hedonistic habit with a positive one. If you find yourself overworking, designate an evening to disconnect completely from work and invest that time in a hobby or relaxation technique like meditation or a leisurely walk. This not only provides a break from the excess but also introduces beneficial activities into your routine.
• Set a goal to learn a new skill within a month that requires overcoming a series of small hurdles, such as cooking a complex dish or building a piece of furniture from scratch. Document each step and the challenges faced, and celebrate the small victories along the way. This could mean mastering a particular chopping technique or fitting together the most challenging parts of the furniture.

Virtue: innocence

Beatrice Chestnut describes the virtue of innocence in Type Eights as having a pure heart, free from guilt or self-blame, which allows them to engage with life's essential energy in its purest form. By accepting their true nature and all its flaws, they achieve a more profound alignment with life's intrinsic patterns. By facing and transcending the apprehensions and sensitivities they typically avoid, Eights can explore their true selves more deeply, achieving an elevated state of total self-awareness.

Context

• Embracing innocence involves accepting one's imperfections and vulnerabilities, which can lead to greater self-compassion and reduced self-criticism.
• This concept refers to the fundamental, life-giving force that animates all living beings. Engaging with it in its purest form suggests a direct, unfiltered connection to life itself, free from personal biases or defenses.
• This refers to the natural flow and order of life, which Eights can align with by letting go of their need to impose their will. Embracing these patterns can lead to a sense of harmony and peace.

Key challenge: accepting their weaknesses and learning to be vulnerable

Chestnut underscores the importance of the difficult but crucial path Eights must take to recognize and value their own vulnerability.

For many Eights, the prospect of facing this obstacle can seem overwhelming, as admitting to their vulnerabilities and fears could feel like they are forsaking their core quest for power and dominance. Chestnut argues, however, that by practicing non-attachment toward their need for power and force, Eights can more easily embrace the freedom that comes with being able to be both strong and weak in the world. Eights on the path to self-awareness and development should strive to moderate their pursuit of power and authority by acknowledging and accepting the full range of their feelings, which is crucial for moving beyond the limitations of their powerful personality.

Other Perspectives

• The idea that Eights must value vulnerability could be seen as a one-size-fits-all approach that doesn't take into account individual differences in coping mechanisms and psychological makeup.
• The concept of vulnerability being overwhelming might be culturally biased, as some cultures may encourage open expression of emotions and view vulnerability as a strength rather than a weakness.
• Practicing non-attachment to power might not necessarily lead to freedom for Eights, as their sense of freedom could be intertwined with their ability to exert control and influence.
• There could be situations where the moderation of power pursuit is not practical or beneficial, such as in crisis scenarios where decisive action and strong leadership are necessary for the well-being of others.
• The idea that accepting weaknesses is crucial for development could inadvertently lead to a focus on self-perceived limitations rather than on leveraging and building upon one's inherent strengths.

Type Seven is commonly known as the Enthusiast.

Type Sevens evade unease by pursuing the excitement found in new ideas, options, and potentialities.

They constantly seek pleasurable pursuits, eager for excitement, and strive to keep a continuous flow of positive experiences as a defense against discomfort and the more challenging aspects of existence.

The fundamental aspiration is to experience unending joy and to have the freedom to act unimpeded.

Chestnut suggests that Sevens, like every personality type, inherently develop a strategy to relentlessly pursue and maintain a continuous feeling of happiness. They then utilize their varied skills to achieve their goals, focusing on the positive to ignite creativity and pleasure, and engaging their environment while diligently avoiding situations or profound emotions that might obstruct their pursuit of happiness.

Context

• This personality type may struggle with commitment, as the fear of missing out on other opportunities can lead them to avoid long-term obligations.
• This pursuit of happiness can sometimes lead Sevens to overcommit or become scattered, as they chase multiple interests simultaneously.
• Sevens often possess a wide range of interests and talents, which they leverage to explore various opportunities. Their adaptability allows them to pivot quickly and embrace new challenges.
• They often focus on the positive aspects of their environment, using this outlook to inspire themselves and others.

The fundamental concern involves facing difficulties and tackling obstacles.

Chestnut suggests that the Seven's quest for perpetual happiness is driven by an underlying fear of suffering, which they feel is inevitable if they confront the more troubling elements of their lives or connections, or if they become vulnerable. They fear any constraints that could signal a decrease in pace, a touch of monotony, or resemble a trap, whether these are externally enforced or stem from within themselves.

Practical Tips

• You can explore the balance between joy and suffering by keeping a "duality diary" where you record moments of happiness as well as instances of discomfort or pain each day. This practice will help you become more aware of the natural ebb and flow of emotions, rather than striving for constant happiness. For example, note down a moment of laughter with a friend alongside the frustration of being stuck in traffic, reflecting on how each experience contributes to a full life.
• Create a "fear audit" journal to track moments when you feel your progress is slowing down. Note the situation, your feelings, and what you perceive as the constraint. Over time, you'll be able to identify patterns and common triggers that you can address proactively.

The core motivation of this personality type is an intense desire for plenitude.

Beatrice Chestnut characterizes the Type Seven's tendency toward gluttony as a relentless pursuit of pleasure and an unquenchable thirst for new experiences. She elucidates that such gluttony extends beyond mere excessive consumption of food to encompass a broader desire for maximum enjoyment. The writer describes individuals identified as Sevens as having an insatiable thirst to satisfy and revitalize their being through the pursuit of diverse and pleasurable new adventures. Sevens struggle to attain true contentment and joy as their intense longing for abundance often leads them to confuse pleasure with emotional connection, diverting their attention from confronting an underlying emptiness and dissatisfaction.

Practical Tips

• Create a 'plenitude jar' where you write down new experiences or learnings on slips of paper and add them to the jar each week. This tangible collection serves as a visual representation of abundance in your life, encouraging you to seek out and appreciate a variety of experiences that contribute to a sense of fullness.
• Use a habit-tracking app to set and monitor goals for trying new experiences. Instead of traditional habit goals like exercising or reading, focus on the frequency of new experiences, such as "visit a new place every month" or "try a new hobby every quarter." This gamifies the pursuit of pleasure and new experiences, making it fun and measurable.
• You can explore moderation by setting a "pleasure budget" for your experiences each week. Determine a set amount of time or money you're willing to allocate for purely enjoyable activities, and stick to it. This helps you practice self-restraint and appreciate the experiences more deeply when they are limited.
• Partner with a friend to challenge each other with monthly 'pleasure quests' where you each come up with a unique, enjoyable activity the other has not tried before. This could range from attending a quirky workshop to trying out an escape room. The social aspect adds accountability and the shared experiences can deepen your relationship while expanding your adventure repertoire.
• Engage in a "kindness challenge" by performing one random act of kindness each day for a month. This can help you experience joy through giving and create a sense of abundance that isn't tied to material wealth. Acts of kindness could be as simple as leaving a positive note for someone, helping a neighbor with groceries, or paying for the next person's coffee in line.
• Create a "connection goal" for each week where you plan and execute an activity specifically designed to deepen relationships with others. This could be a heartfelt conversation with a family member, a collaborative project with a friend, or volunteering. Reflect on these experiences to discern the difference between the fulfillment from these connections and the fleeting pleasure of other activities.

Virtue: sobriety

For individuals of Type Seven, Beatrice Chestnut identifies sobriety as the virtue that balances out their inherent passion for gluttony. She argues that Sevens need to develop the ability to stay grounded in their present experiences as a means of maintaining self-control. Sevens achieve genuine emotional balance by moving past their incessant need to escape or shield themselves through excessive pursuit of pleasurable experiences, which allows them to embrace a broader spectrum of emotional states and establish more profound relationships with others.

Context

• This isn't limited to food but extends to a craving for varied and intense experiences, leading to difficulty in commitment and a tendency to avoid negative emotions.
• While the pursuit of pleasure provides short-term satisfaction, grounding helps Sevens find more sustainable and meaningful fulfillment in their lives.
• Achieving emotional balance involves recognizing and accepting a full range of emotions, including discomfort and sadness, rather than escaping into constant activity or pleasure.
• Developing sobriety allows Sevens to form deeper, more meaningful connections with others, as they become more present and attentive to the needs and emotions of those around them.

Key challenge: facing pain and discovering joy in discomfort

To advance on their journey, Beatrice Chestnut advises that Sevens need to face and fully experience the emotions at the core of their life approach, which is predominantly aimed at seeking pleasure, and to recognize the discomfort and anxiety they usually avoid in their pursuit of perpetual happiness, a significant shift from their usual inclination to avoid difficulties.

By facing difficult emotions like sorrow, irritation, or distress head-on and avoiding their usual distractions, individuals can lessen the intensity of these feelings and the instinctive responses that perpetuate their avoidance. Chestnut clarifies that this journey can lead to a surprising joy that arises from events that aren't always seen as enjoyable. Sevens might struggle to embrace a wider range of experiences, but as they seek joy through a deeper grasp of their own nature, as well as the depth and value that life and relationships offer beyond their usual quest for gratification, they open themselves up to a broader spectrum of opportunities and delights.

Other Perspectives

• The recommendation assumes that experiencing negative emotions directly will lead to a reduction in their intensity, which may not hold true for everyone.
• There may be instances where avoidance of discomfort and anxiety serves a protective function and could be part of a healthy strategy for managing stressors in life.
• The idea that Sevens avoid difficult emotions is a generalization and may not apply to every individual identified as a Seven; personal variations exist, and some may have already developed strategies to face and integrate these emotions into their lives.
• There is value in depth as well as breadth; focusing deeply on a narrower range of experiences can also lead to profound joy and satisfaction.
• The pursuit of joy through self-understanding might inadvertently lead to a form of navel-gazing that detracts from engagement with the outside world and practical action that could lead to opportunities and delights.
• Some distractions can be constructive and therapeutic, such as engaging in hobbies or physical activities, which can help process emotions indirectly and foster resilience.

The Loyalist is commonly known as Type Six.

The Type Six personality develops as part of an anxious search for safety and a means of coping with fear, doubt, and anxiety in a world that feels uncertain and threatening.

The core goal is to attain a feeling of steadiness and security.

Chestnut describes how Type Sixes strive to establish a feeling of safety and protection to mitigate their inherent anxiety about the unpredictable aspects of life that frequently seem threatening to them. They often seek stability due to early life experiences where consistent care and protection were not adequately provided by their parents. Chestnut observes that Sixes often struggle with the absence of a dependable primary authority figure in their early years. Ensuring a sense of safety and security can be difficult when the individuals who should be providing support and nurturing are not present, inconsistent, or harsh in their actions.

Other Perspectives

• Some Type Sixes might find that embracing uncertainty and developing resilience can also be effective ways to manage anxiety, rather than focusing primarily on achieving a sense of safety.
• The concept of stability is subjective and can vary greatly from person to person; what one individual considers stable, another might find restrictive or monotonous.
• The idea that Sixes struggle due to inconsistent or harsh authority figures could be seen as an oversimplification, as people's responses to their upbringing are complex and can vary widely from person to person.
• Some people may actually thrive in the absence of early support, as it can foster independence, self-reliance, and the ability to navigate challenges without relying on others.

The central issue revolves around confronting the unknown and possible hazards.

Chestnut describes Sixes as epitomizing the "fear triad," marked by their especially intense expressions of fear relative to other types. They persistently survey their surroundings, ever watchful for any potential hazards and complexities. Sixes concentrate on possible risks and generally hold the conviction that certainty is attained only when something is confirmed as factual. Chestnut suggests that while a significant portion of this mechanism operates beneath our conscious awareness, individuals identified as Sixes can gain consciousness of their intensified attention to potential dangers and assorted risks.

Other Perspectives

• The statement could be seen as a simplification, as Sixes might also be vigilant for positive opportunities, not just hazards and complexities.
• The belief that certainty comes from confirming facts can be challenged by the understanding that some aspects of life are inherently uncertain and cannot be fully resolved by factual confirmation.
• The concept of mechanisms operating unconsciously could be too deterministic, implying that Sixes have little control over their reactions, which might not be the case for all individuals.
• The process of becoming aware of one's heightened attention to risks might lead to increased anxiety rather than relief or constructive change, especially if not accompanied by supportive strategies for coping.

Primarily motivated by a sense of apprehension, this type functions accordingly.

Beatrice Chestnut describes fear as the fundamental emotional driver for individuals identified as Type Six. The personality of a Six is deeply shaped by an underlying and frequently unconscious fear, which manifests in their pronounced inclination towards extreme caution, skepticism, inquisitiveness, oppositional behavior, and defensive hostility. The writer elaborates on the concept that each of the three subtypes of Six has a unique relationship with fear, possessing varying degrees of awareness about this feeling, which shapes their distinct responses to it.

Practical Tips

• Develop a "fear-facing" plan where you gradually expose yourself to small doses of what you're afraid of. If public speaking is a fear, start by speaking up more in small group settings. As you become more comfortable, increase the audience size or the stakes, like volunteering for a presentation at a community event. This incremental approach can help desensitize you to the fear and build confidence.
• Create a "Skeptic's Challenge" for yourself where once a week, you intentionally engage with an idea or activity you're initially opposed to. This could be as simple as trying a new food or as complex as attending a workshop on a topic you're skeptical about. The goal is to expose yourself to different perspectives and reduce the automatic oppositional response.

Virtue: courage

Chestnut describes how those who resonate with Type Six exhibit their natural courage by facing their anxieties and concerns with an innate confidence, as well as the ability to persist and not be consumed by fear. The author emphasizes that genuine courage involves facing not only external fears but also the willingness to explore the internal anxieties that arise as we begin the journey of separating from the ego's protective identity, often compared to the hard outer shell of a seed.

Context

• The metaphor of the seed's hard outer shell represents the protective mechanisms that Type Six individuals develop. Growth involves breaking through this shell to reach their true potential.
• Having a strong support system, such as friends, family, or a community, can provide encouragement and strength when facing fears, making it easier to persist.
• The ego's protective identity refers to the psychological defenses and self-concepts that individuals develop to navigate the world. These defenses can create a false sense of security, shielding individuals from perceived threats but also limiting personal growth.

Key Challenge: facing their fears while cultivating confidence in their own intuition.

Chestnut underscores the necessity of Sixes confronting their fears head-on, which is crucial for enhancing their confidence in their own capabilities and dependability. The author emphasizes the difficult position often faced by Sixes, who grapple with the need for a reliable source of security while simultaneously fearing the surrender to such power. Sixes often find themselves drawn to yet wary of figures of authority. Chestnut notes that the specific way in which Sixes manifest this conflict varies depending on their subtype and its preferred strategy for dealing with fears: either through seeking alliances with others (Self Preservation); adapting to external guidelines and rules from a safe distance (Social); or pushing back on authority from a position of strength (Sexual). Sixes enhance their self-awareness and strengthen their independence by acknowledging their common inclination to pursue safety through external factors.

Context

• For Sixes, intuition is often clouded by anxiety and doubt. Confronting fears helps clear this mental clutter, allowing them to trust their instincts more effectively.
• This subtype focuses on physical safety and material security. They often seek alliances and support networks to feel secure, which can manifest as a reliance on close-knit groups or communities.
• The tendency to form alliances can be seen as a coping mechanism to deal with underlying fears and insecurities, providing a sense of belonging and protection.
• Social Sixes often look to established systems, traditions, or authority figures to provide a sense of order and predictability, which helps them manage anxiety.
• By confronting authority, Sexual Sixes aim to overcome their inherent fears and insecurities, using the challenge as a means to build self-confidence and resilience.
• For Sixes, personal growth involves balancing their need for external security with developing internal confidence and resilience, allowing them to act independently and with self-assurance.

The Investigator is often known as the Fifth Type.

Individuals identified as Type Five tend to establish a protective boundary focused on self-preservation by retreating into a realm of thought, thereby shielding themselves from a world they find to be intrusive or lacking, and consequently disconnecting from emotionally intense exchanges. They prioritize the pursuit of knowledge and strive to remain unbiased, associating expertise with sway as they seek autonomy.

The primary objective is to acquire understanding and grasp the workings of the cosmos.

Chestnut proposes that Fives strive to gain mastery and understanding, seeking to enhance their autonomy and tackle problems on their own. The fundamental longing stems from initial encounters where they perceived a lack of attention from those who were supposed to look after them or found themselves in circumstances that left them feeling emotionally constricted and unable to fully express their individuality.

Other Perspectives

• The pursuit of understanding the cosmos could be seen as too abstract or ambitious for a primary objective, as practical day-to-day concerns and immediate survival needs often take precedence for many people.
• The desire for mastery and understanding could sometimes stem from intrinsic curiosity rather than a response to early emotional constriction or a lack of attention.
• Enhancing autonomy and tackling problems alone might not always be the most beneficial approach; interdependence and learning from others can also lead to mastery and understanding.
• The correlation between early emotional experiences and the pursuit of autonomy and problem-solving could be coincidental or influenced by a variety of other factors, such as genetics or later life experiences.
• The idea that a single type of early encounter is responsible for a fundamental longing could be an overgeneralization and may not hold true for all individuals categorized as Fives.
• The inability to express individuality might be a consequence of internal factors, such as personal insecurities or lack of self-awareness, rather than only initial encounters.

The fundamental dread arises from experiencing a deep emptiness along with the unease caused by unwanted intrusion.

Chestnut describes how Fives harbor an intrinsic dread of encroachment, domination, or succumbing to the influence of others, in addition to worries regarding the insufficiency of vital resources needed for existence, likely stemming from acute awareness of scarcity encountered during their formative years. They prioritize setting clear limits, protecting their own space, and minimizing their needs to maintain independence from others.

Practical Tips

• Develop a "No Influence" list to keep track of situations where you feel pressured to conform or be influenced by others. Whenever you encounter a situation that makes you feel this way, jot it down in a notebook or digital document. Over time, review the list to identify patterns and prepare strategies to assert your independence in these situations. For instance, if you notice you often feel influenced during group decisions, you might prepare by formulating your own opinion in advance.
• Create a "resource emergency kit" to ease worries about resource insufficiency. Gather a small stockpile of essential items such as canned food, water bottles, batteries, and a first aid kit. Store them in an accessible place and maintain a checklist to rotate items before they expire. This preparedness can provide peace of mind and practical support in case of unexpected shortages.
• Volunteer in community programs that address scarcity to gain a new perspective on your own situation. Engaging with others who face scarcity can provide insights into how much you actually have and ways to manage and appreciate your resources. Choose a program that resonates with you, such as a food bank or a financial literacy workshop, and commit to a regular volunteering schedule.
• Use technology to enforce your boundaries by setting up automatic responses. If you find it hard to switch off from work, set your email and messaging apps to "Do Not Disturb" mode during your personal time. You can customize automatic replies to let people know when you'll be available again, which helps manage their expectations and reinforces your commitment to your personal limits.
• Designate a 'sanctuary spot' in your home or office where you can retreat when you need to recharge. This could be a corner with a comfortable chair and a 'Do Not Disturb' sign, or a small garden space. Use this area regularly to cultivate a habit of protecting your personal space, and encourage others to recognize this as your private area.
• Experiment with a "self-reliance project" by picking one thing you usually pay for or outsource and learn to do it yourself. It could be anything from home repairs, gardening, to cutting your own hair. Document the process and reflect on how the act of learning and doing it yourself affects your sense of independence.

Motivated by an intense desire for wealth.

Chestnut argues that the primary inclination of Type Five, often referred to as "greed" in historical texts, is better interpreted as an instinct to gather and protect personal inner reserves as a form of self-protection. Fives strive to appear self-reliant and to alleviate concerns that their inherent supplies of time, space, and energy may be inadequate, which leads them to minimize their needs and avoid demanding or burdensome situations.

Practical Tips

• Develop a weekly meal prep routine to conserve energy and time throughout the week. Spend a few hours on the weekend preparing and portioning out meals. This not only saves time deciding what to eat each day but also reduces the mental load of meal planning and the physical energy of daily cooking.
• Experiment with saying "yes" to something you'd typically avoid due to its perceived burden. Choose a low-risk situation, like attending a social event you'd normally skip or volunteering for a task at work. Reflect on the experience afterward to assess how it affected your feelings of competence and self-worth.

In this scenario, the virtue is characterized by a dedication to maintaining neutrality.

Chestnut explains that by letting go of their belief in scarcity, Type Fives can become detached, allowing them to accept what life has to offer without fear of depletion. Fives find contentment upon understanding that their feeling of safety does not depend on diminishing their necessities, amassing information, or finding solace in a protected setting. By embracing the practice of non-attachment, individuals with a Type Five personality reduce their inherent inclination to accumulate and control resources, which in turn cultivates an environment that promotes trust and transparency.

Context

• This mindset involves a belief that resources are limited, leading to anxiety about not having enough. For Type Fives, this can manifest as a fear of not having enough knowledge, energy, or privacy.
• Non-attachment is a principle found in various spiritual and philosophical traditions, emphasizing the importance of letting go of desires and the need to control outcomes. It encourages living in the present moment without clinging to material possessions or specific results.
• By reducing their need to control their environment, Fives contribute to a space where others feel safe to express themselves, knowing they are not being judged or scrutinized.

They frequently encounter significant challenges in establishing intimate relationships because they grapple with deeply engaging with their own feelings.

The writer emphasizes that for Fives, a significant challenge lies in recognizing the value of fostering and creating room for more expressive emotions, which not only aids in their journey to a deeper realization of their true self but also strengthens and enriches their connections with other people.

Individuals with a type Five personality frequently find it challenging to articulate their feelings. Chestnut argues, however, that by accepting and integrating their emotions as an essential part of their inner world, Fives enrich and enliven their experience, creating greater internal energy and a richer capacity for connecting with others. Chestnut emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and genuinely experiencing the fears that compel a Five to seek isolation, as they consciously strive to embrace the emotional vulnerabilities required to be more accessible.

Other Perspectives

• Some Fives might actually excel in intimate relationships by leveraging their analytical skills to understand and support their partners.
• Emotional expression is not the only path to personal growth; some individuals may find growth through intellectual pursuits, spiritual practices, or other forms of self-reflection.
• Some Fives may have developed effective communication skills and can articulate their feelings well, suggesting that the ability to express emotions is not inherently linked to a personality type but rather to individual experiences and learned behaviors.
• The capacity for connection is not solely dependent on emotional integration; other factors such as communication skills, shared interests, and mutual respect also play critical roles.
• The idea that becoming more emotionally accessible is inherently beneficial could be challenged; some individuals may find that maintaining certain boundaries or a level of emotional privacy is healthier for them.

The Individualist is often referred to as the Fourth Type.

Fours concentrate on their feelings and on what they perceive to be missing in their lives, which, in their view, would complete them and bring contentment. In their quest for acknowledgment and appreciation of their unique attributes, they frequently exaggerate their own imperfections and hardships.

They have a deep desire for their uniqueness to be acknowledged and valued.

Chestnut explains that Type Fours have a deep desire to be understood and loved for their authentic selves, and that this desire stems from a real experience in childhood of not getting the kind of love and validation they needed to feel whole and secure. They often feel a void from missing a crucial aspect, like parental love or an innate sense of joy, which results in a longing for a distinct component they believe is just out of grasp, even though they worry it might be permanently lost. Fours often hold the conviction that the core of their experiences stems from their own shortcomings.

Other Perspectives

• The emphasis on being loved for one's authentic self could potentially overlook the importance of growth and change within individuals, implying that one should be accepted as they are without considering the potential benefits of personal development and adaptation.
• Some psychological theories suggest that the feeling of a void or lack can be a motivational force that drives personal growth and self-improvement, rather than a purely negative experience.
• While Fours may often feel a longing for something just out of reach, it's possible that this is not a universal experience for all individuals identified as Type Fours, as personality can vary widely even within a given type.
• This concern may underestimate the role of external factors and support systems that can help individuals recover and compensate for what they feel is missing.
• The belief that experiences stem from personal shortcomings can be a cognitive distortion, overlooking the complex interplay of external circumstances and other people's actions.

A profound apprehension of being perceived as deficient in value or significance.

Chestnut elucidates that Fours possess a deep-seated fear of being indistinguishable and feeling unimportant, and in their efforts to avoid the shame associated with their perceived absence of uniqueness, they develop a unique or uncommon identity, a strategy they may hold in excessively high regard. Fours are deeply acquainted with melancholy, rooted in their conviction of inherent inadequacy, which results in a heightened preoccupation with their own distress, a tendency to view themselves as inferior to others, and the profound sorrow they endure in the absence of the recognition and love they consider vital. They worry that their apparently "common" traits may lack significant value.

Practical Tips

• Create a 'shame resilience' art project by using any form of art—painting, drawing, sculpture—to express moments when you've felt shame and how you've overcome it. For example, you might paint two sides of a canvas, one side representing the feeling of shame and the other showcasing the journey to embracing your unique identity. This visual representation can serve as a reminder of your growth and the value of your individuality.
• Create a "counter-melancholy" playlist with songs that evoke a sense of adequacy and self-acceptance. Music has the power to influence mood and self-perception. By curating a playlist of songs that lyrically or musically counter feelings of inadequacy, you can create an auditory environment that reinforces positive self-regard and combats melancholy.
• Initiate a peer recognition program within your social or work circle where each person takes turns to share something they appreciate about another member. This could be done through a simple group chat or during regular meet-ups. By fostering an environment of mutual appreciation, you contribute to a culture where everyone feels recognized and valued.
• Create a 'value collage' by collecting images, quotes, and items that represent aspects of yourself you value. This visual representation can serve as a reminder of your worth and the unique qualities you bring to the table. For instance, if you're a good listener, you might include a picture of an ear or a quote about the power of silence.

People of this type frequently struggle with sensations of envy.

Chestnut suggests that a profound sense of envy is a defining trait of Type Four. They carry the weight of feeling deeply inadequate, coupled with a powerful yearning for something that appears to be out of reach, which originates from an early encounter with lack or shortfall. Fours often struggle with feelings of envy, stemming from a belief that they are missing something that others have, which amplifies their melancholic nature and self-critical behavior, ultimately leading to a diminished perception of their self-worth. They struggle with envy regarding the accomplishments or belongings of others, which results in a sense of shame about experiencing these emotions.

Practical Tips

• You can start a gratitude journal to shift focus from envy to appreciation by writing down three unique things you're grateful for each day, ensuring they're different every time to enhance your awareness of the positive aspects of your life.
• Create a personal mantra that affirms your unique qualities and strengths. Write down a list of attributes and achievements that you feel proud of, no matter how small, and turn them into a positive affirmation. Repeat this mantra daily, especially during moments of self-doubt, to remind yourself of your inherent worth and to counter feelings of inadequacy.
• Use your yearning as a catalyst for personal growth by identifying skills or knowledge gaps that stand between you and your desire, then commit to a self-paced learning project to bridge those gaps. For instance, if you're longing to become more culturally aware, you might start learning a new language using online resources or apps, or if you wish to play an instrument, begin with online tutorials and practice sessions.
• Create a 'talent exchange' with friends or community members where you offer a skill or knowledge you possess in exchange for learning something new from someone else. This can help you appreciate your own unique abilities while also addressing feelings of lack by acquiring new skills in a social and supportive setting.
• Develop a personal skill or hobby for the sheer joy of it, not for competition or comparison. By engaging in an activity you love without the pressure to excel or outdo others, you can nurture self-worth and reduce the tendency to compare yourself unfavorably to others.
• Implement a 'no comparison' rule on social media by unfollowing or muting accounts that trigger feelings of envy, and instead, follow accounts that inspire or teach you something new. This can help create a more positive and educational online environment. For instance, if seeing someone's travel photos makes you feel envious, you might choose to follow a travel blogger who shares budget travel tips or cultural insights, transforming feelings of envy into opportunities for learning and inspiration.

Virtue: equanimity

Chestnut explains that Type Fours achieve equilibrium and objectivity by ceasing their relentless chase of a perfect standard. The author suggests that equanimity enables Fours to embrace and acknowledge their full range of emotions without self-criticism or labeling these emotions as positive or negative, and concurrently, to avoid being excessively absorbed by their fluctuating moods or their own perceived shortcomings.

Context

• Equanimity refers to a state of mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in difficult situations. It involves maintaining a balanced perspective without being overwhelmed by emotions.
• By practicing equanimity, Fours can gain a more objective perspective on their emotions, reducing the tendency to be swept away by their intensity. This helps in fostering self-acceptance and reducing the impact of negative self-perceptions.

One of the main challenges they encounter is recognizing their inherent worth and finding satisfaction in the present.

Beatrice Chestnut emphasizes that a major challenge for Fours on the path to deeper self-awareness is to accept and appreciate their distinct identity and current life circumstances.

Fours frequently experience feelings of longing, sadness, shame, and envy as they chase an unattainable ideal of love, connection, and understanding, which results in them often overlooking the valuable qualities inherent in themselves, the nature of their relationships, and the circumstances they are presently dealing with. Chestnut suggests that Fours can progress and evolve by recognizing how their negative emotions direct their focus toward what is missing. Fours can liberate themselves from the fixation on their deficiencies by recognizing this tendency and actively choosing to appreciate their own positive qualities, the bonds they share with others, and their overall existence, thereby allowing themselves to wholeheartedly accept the richness that life offers.

Other Perspectives

• The notion that Fours should find satisfaction in the present could be critiqued by pointing out that a certain level of dissatisfaction can be a motivating force for personal growth and change, which is also valuable.
• The advice may not be universally applicable, as individuals are diverse, and what works for one person (or personality type) may not work for another.
• The focus on what is missing might not be a result of negative emotions alone but could also stem from a deep-seated drive for authenticity and meaning.
• While recognizing the influence of negative emotions is important, it may not be sufficient for evolution on its own; practical strategies and actions are also necessary to facilitate change.
• This approach could potentially lead to complacency, where a Four might overlook areas that genuinely need improvement because they are solely focused on their positive aspects.
• The advice to appreciate bonds and existence could be seen as overly simplistic for individuals facing complex psychological challenges.
• The concept of "choosing to appreciate" positive qualities assumes that individuals have full control over their emotions and perspectives, which may not account for the unconscious influences or mental health conditions that can affect one's ability to make such choices.

The Enneagram identifies the Achiever as its third personality type.

Type Threes shape their identity to mirror societal standards of success and admiration, in their pursuit to validate their value and earn esteem from their colleagues. They put in a significant amount of work to become individuals they believe will receive praise and achieve success.

The foremost objective is to achieve recognition and garner success.

Chestnut clarifies that Threes strive for success and acclaim to ensure their presence is neither ignored nor deemed insignificant by others. The writer points out that in their early development, Type Threes often felt unnoticed by a caregiver, prompting them to unconsciously create an identity that represented value or achievement to secure acknowledgment. They often prioritize action, sometimes to the extent of neglecting or completely ignoring other facets of life. The writer points out that Threes typically cope with stress in ways that conform to societal standards of efficiency and skill, which aids them in attaining success in different areas of their lives, but this may also trap them in a continuous chase for achievements.

Other Perspectives

• Threes may also be motivated by personal fulfillment or a sense of duty, rather than solely by the fear of being overlooked or undervalued.
• Not all individuals who feel unnoticed in their early years develop an identity centered around achievement; some may respond with withdrawal, creativity, or other coping mechanisms.
• The idea that Threes cope with stress by conforming to societal standards might be an oversimplification, as individuals within any personality type can exhibit a wide range of coping mechanisms that are not necessarily tied to societal expectations.
• The pursuit of accomplishments could be a symptom of deeper psychological needs or issues that are not addressed by simply achieving success, suggesting that the coping mechanism might be ineffective in the long term.

The core fear originates from the potential to be perceived as inconsequential and not attaining accomplishment.

Chestnut describes how Threes possess a deep-seated fear of not being adequate and an intrinsic feeling of having no value, compelling them to shape their identity around a fabricated self-representation. If their survival and sense of self are based on their accomplishments and the “good face” they’ve created to impress others, then failure and the exposure of their inner inadequacies can be extremely painful or even intolerable experiences for them. Chestnut suggests that during their early development, Threes encountered situations which led them to feel undervalued or insufficient, thus intensifying their sense of anxiety.

Practical Tips

• Create a "truth circle" with close friends or family members where you can share your genuine thoughts and feelings without the fear of judgment. This safe space encourages authenticity and can help break the habit of presenting a false self to others.
• Create a "small risks" challenge for yourself where you deliberately engage in low-stakes activities that have a chance of failure. This could be anything from trying a new recipe, picking up a new hobby, or even asking a question in a public forum that you're unsure about. The key is to normalize the experience of failure in safe, controlled environments, which can help desensitize the fear and pain associated with it.

People of this personality type frequently struggle with a sense of self-importance.

Beatrice Chestnut characterizes the main emotional concern of Type Three as an intense concentration on their self-perception. She argues that this form of vanity is chiefly concerned with developing and preserving a persona that radiates charm, expertise, and success, which involves not only viewing life through the lens of another's expectations or misconceptions but also living in a manner that captivates the attention of observers. Threes exert significant effort to maintain an attractive appearance, all the while distancing themselves from their authentic feelings. Chestnut describes how Threes, motivated by their need for admiration, frequently construct an outward appearance that might not truly represent their authentic feelings and needs.

Practical Tips

• Try volunteering in roles that don't offer any direct benefit to your status or career. This can help you experience the satisfaction of contributing without receiving external validation. For instance, you could volunteer at a local shelter, food bank, or community garden, focusing on the act of giving rather than any recognition you might receive.
• Develop your expertise by dedicating 15 minutes each day to learning something new related to your field. Use a variety of resources like podcasts, online courses, or industry blogs to broaden your knowledge base. Keep a learning journal where you jot down key takeaways and how you might apply them in your work. This habit will gradually build your expertise and confidence in your professional domain.
• Engage in a role-reversal exercise where you imagine a friend is in your situation, influenced by others' expectations. Advise them as objectively as possible. This can help you gain clarity on your own situation by removing yourself from the equation. For instance, if you're staying in a career because your family values it but you're unhappy, advising a friend might help you see the importance of pursuing your own happiness.
• Develop a personal branding statement that encapsulates your unique qualities and practice incorporating it into conversations. This can help you become more memorable and engaging to others. For example, if you're passionate about environmental sustainability, your branding statement could be, "I'm dedicated to finding everyday solutions for a greener planet." Use this statement when meeting new people or in social media bios to captivate attention through a clear, consistent message.
• Experiment with a 'no appearance maintenance' day once a week to explore the impact on your self-perception and others' reactions. Choose one day a week where you consciously decide not to engage in your usual grooming or dressing routines. Observe how this makes you feel, how it affects your interactions, and whether it changes your productivity or confidence. This can help you assess the true value of the effort you put into maintaining an attractive appearance.
• Create an emotion-based decision-making rule for minor choices, like what to eat or wear. Decide based solely on what you genuinely feel like having or doing, not what you think you should. This small-scale practice can help you tune into your authentic desires and feelings, making it easier to recognize them in more significant aspects of your life.
• You can reflect on your achievements without external validation by keeping a private success journal. Write down your accomplishments and the skills you used to achieve them, focusing on personal growth rather than public recognition. This practice helps internalize the value of your work, reducing the reliance on admiration from others.
• Implement a "no filter" hour with a trusted friend or family member each week. During this time, commit to being completely honest about your feelings and needs without worrying about maintaining an image. This could be a regular coffee meet-up where you share your week's experiences and emotions as raw and unfiltered as possible.

Virtue: hope

Beatrice Chestnut describes hope as the counterbalance to vanity. For a Type Three, embracing the virtue of hope involves the realization that outcomes will unfold as they should, without the necessity for them to constantly control events or construct a facade to ensure that all results are in harmony with their own objectives. Threes remain optimistic, trusting that the cosmos and their peers will provide the needed support without the necessity for them to establish a foundation for it.

Context

• The concept of balancing vanity with hope is about integrating the need for achievement with a deeper trust in life's processes, reducing the compulsion to control outcomes.
• Practices like mindfulness can help Threes cultivate hope by encouraging them to stay present and accept situations as they are, rather than constantly planning and controlling.
• The idea of trusting in the cosmos suggests a belief in a larger order or purpose, which can help Threes release their tight grip on control and outcomes.

Key challenge: connecting with their true self and valuing who they are beyond accomplishments

Chestnut advises that Type Three's primary obstacle is to forge a genuine connection with their core self, transcending the external persona and achievements they've constructed to gain approval. The author suggests that by cultivating self-awareness, individuals can align more closely with their genuine essence or "true self," empowering themselves to fully embrace and express their emotions, while acknowledging the ways in which their personal and professional pursuits trap them in a perpetual quest for validation.

Other Perspectives

• The concept of a "true self" is philosophically contentious, with some arguing that the self is fluid and constantly evolving, not a static essence to be discovered.
• In some cases, increased self-awareness can lead to over-analysis or self-criticism, which might hinder rather than help the process of self-alignment.
• The act of expressing emotions is not inherently empowering; the empowerment may actually come from the subsequent understanding, acceptance, or actions taken in response to those emotions.
• The quest for validation can sometimes act as a catalyst for personal growth and innovation, pushing individuals to exceed their limits and achieve excellence.

Type Two is often referred to as The Giver.

Type Twos are motivated by a deep-seated need for affection and often perform helpful deeds for others, anticipating that these gestures will cultivate reciprocal feelings of love. They unconsciously adopt an aura of importance, driven by their desire to be seen as indispensable.

The core desire is to obtain acknowledgment and affection.

Chestnut characterizes the intrinsic motivation of Twos as an aspiration to gain appreciation and acknowledgment for their caring and supportive traits. The author suggests that such a desire originates from childhood incidents where they experienced feelings of neglect, invisibility, or abandonment, particularly by a key figure responsible for their care.

Other Perspectives

• The desire for acknowledgment and affection is not unique to Twos and can be a universal human need, regardless of personality type.
• The idea that Twos seek appreciation for their caring traits might not account for cultural, social, or individual differences that influence motivation.
• Some individuals may seek acknowledgment and affection due to societal pressures or cultural norms that value these traits, rather than personal history with a caregiver.