PDF Summary:The Art of Happiness, by The Dalai Lama
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In The Art of Happiness, you’ll walk with the Dalai Lama, Nobel Peace Prize winner and spiritual leader of Tibet, down the Buddhist path toward happiness. According to him, you have the power to bring more happiness into your life by simply training yourself to be happier. We’ll discuss his four forms of happiness training, which will improve your outlook on life, interpersonal relationships, resilience in the face of suffering, and everyday spirituality.
To help you absorb and apply the Dalai Lama’s advice, we’ve added key background information on Buddhism, as well as scientific evidence in support of his beliefs and concrete actions you can take. The Dalai Lama doesn’t promise that the path to happiness will be plain sailing—but he does believe that your effort will be worth it.
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Simply understanding what makes you unhappy can’t alone eradicate unhappiness, claims the Dalai Lama. You must desire to rid yourself of unhappiness and negative emotions.
(Shortform note: Cutler and the Dalai Lama tell you to motivate yourself to change but don’t provide tools for doing so. One way to cultivate motivation is to write down the goals you hope to achieve—for instance, to rid yourself of ignorance. Achieving enlightenment is a long and winding path, but by writing down your goals, you help yourself stay on that path.)
Step 3: Exert Yourself to Change
Now that you’ve developed the motivation to change your mindset, the final step of cultivating a happiness mindset is to make the effort to change, says the Dalai Lama. We’ll discuss two strategies to make that effort.
(Shortform note: This chapter falls within the Right Effort step of the Noble Eightfold Path because the following strategies concern altering your thinking—not, as you might think, your actions. In the book, Cutler and the Dalai Lama spend the most time on the Meditation and Wisdom parts of The Threefold Way, and little time on the Ethics part, which concerns behavior, speech, and livelihood.)
Strategy #1: Develop Your Self-Worth
According to the Dalai Lama, to actively cultivate your happiness mindset, develop your sense of self-worth, regardless of external circumstances. You don’t need possessions, beauty, or titles to validate you as a human. It’s important to not attach your self-worth to such things, he adds, as they can diminish over time, meaning your self-worth does the same.
(Shortform note: Developing your self-worth is important for practical reasons, too: When you lack self-worth, you might engage in destructive behaviors in your quest to “earn” your right to exist. In Dare to Lead, Brené Brown writes about employees who overwork themselves to prove their worth. This has negative consequences for the individual and the company.)
Strategy #2: Combat Negative Emotions With Positive Ones
When they arise, counter negative emotions with positive ones, says the Dalai Lama. For instance, when you find yourself consumed with self-reproach over a bad test grade, tell yourself that your worth isn’t dependent on grades and practice kindness toward yourself.
(Shortform note: For Brené Brown, self-compassion is a key tool for combating negative feelings, particularly harmful perfectionism. Brown breaks self-compassion into three parts: 1) self-forgiveness, 2) self-awareness, and 3) recognition that you’re not the only person struggling with negative feelings.)
Build Strong Interpersonal Relationships
We’ve discussed the first form of happiness training: cultivating a happiness mindset. Now we’ll turn to the second form of happiness training: building strong interpersonal relationships. First, we’ll describe how our happiness is linked to other humans. We’ll then outline the Dalai Lama’s recommendation for establishing connectedness to others to increase our happiness.
We Need Other Humans to Be Happy
The Dalai Lama believes that all humans are dependent on others for their wellbeing and happiness. To prove this, he points to the fact that others provide the material goods and services we rely on for survival. Many people built your home, made the food you eat, and contributed to your education.
(Shortform note: Even in today’s tech-driven society, in which we could survive for months without seeing another human, survival remains contingent upon the efforts of many people. Even an action as impersonal as ordering off Amazon requires the input of many: those who created the algorithms that keep warehouses stocked, those who keep your information safe, those who fulfill your order and deliver it to your home, and so on.)
Form Many Intimate Relationships
Since other humans are integral to your happiness, it’s essential to form strong connections with them. The type of connection you forge matters: According to the Dalai Lama, you should establish intimacy between yourself and many different people. Humans have defined intimacy differently across cultures and time, and there’s no overarching definition. In this book, Cutler and the Dalai Lama propose that an intimate relationship is one in which you’re open with the other person and experience a connection.
(Shortform note: It’s true that the level of intimacy you establish with others matters to your happiness. Someone with many loose connections can feel lonelier than someone with only a few close friends. Similarly, relationships marked by conflict and a lack of trust can fail to provide a sense of connection. However, individuals also have different tolerances for alone time and therefore, someone with a few close friends might still long for more connection because they don’t enjoy being alone. Optimizing your social life is a balancing act, so listen to your unique needs.)
Work to Eliminate Suffering
The third form of happiness training is working to eliminate suffering. Suffering is an inescapable fact of life, says the Dalai Lama. Everyone suffers, and attempts to free yourself from it—like through excessive drinking, drug use, or eating—provide only temporary relief or exacerbate the suffering. What’s worse, often, the destructive ways you avoid suffering become part of who you are. If you habitually transform your suffering into anger towards others, you become an angry person.
(Shortform note: It’s easy for suffering to lead to bad habits—as the Dalai Lama suggests—because of how the brain forms habits. According to Charles Duhigg in The Power of Habit, habits begin as conscious choices—to avoid suffering, for instance—which become automated loops. The reward at the end of the loop reinforces its validity, and the loop becomes a habit. For instance, you might suffer during a bad meeting with your boss and take your anger out on your family, which gives you relief. The relief reinforces the helpfulness of this loop in your mind, and it becomes a habit.)
If Suffering Is Inherent, Why Talk About It?
Viewing suffering as a fact of life may seem like it just causes more suffering, rejoins Cutler. It therefore might seem best to avoid thinking or talking about suffering.
(Shortform note: Many people take Cutler’s avoidance approach to unpleasant areas of their lives. But avoiding problems by procrastinating, ruminating, or behaving passive-aggressively usually only exacerbates the problem. Avoidance thus typically leads to suffering on all levels of your life.)
But there’s additional context in the Buddhist tradition that makes this discussion of suffering not only valuable but necessary, says the Dalai Lama. Buddhists believe that you can eliminate suffering. In Buddhist philosophy, ignorance, hatred, and craving create suffering. When you start eliminating those root causes of suffering, you move toward freedom from suffering.
(Shortform note: The Dalai Lama discusses your ability to eliminate suffering but doesn’t discuss what will happen once you do this. In Theravada Buddhism, once you’ve eliminated suffering, you become an arhat—someone who’s attained Nirvana, spiritual enlightenment. There are four stages of becoming an arhat, each one involving the elimination of different cravings, forms of anger, and types of ignorance.)
To Free Yourself From Suffering, Accept Your Suffering
Acceptance of suffering is the first, integral step toward eliminating it, says the Dalai Lama. If you can’t accept that life is suffering, you’ll only ever apply spot solutions to your suffering—like the destructive forms of numbing described above. You won’t free yourself from its root causes of ignorance, hatred, and craving.
(Shortform note: Acceptance is also an important step in addiction recovery programs, usually seen as the first, foundational step on the road to recovery. It encompasses acceptance of your addiction and how it’s affected your life, acceptance of yourself and your flaws, and acceptance of the challenges you’ll encounter as you recover from your addiction.)
Weave Spirituality Into Daily Life
The Dalai Lama’s fourth and final form of happiness training is weaving spirituality into daily life. According to the Dalai Lama, weaving spirituality into your life means taking every opportunity in your day-to-day to practice a spiritual teaching or derive a spiritual lesson.
(Shortform note: Science confirms the Dalai Lama’s belief that spirituality makes you happier: Studies have shown that those who have spirituality or religion in their lives tend to be happier and less depressed and anxious than those who don’t.)
Practice whatever form of spirituality you subscribe to, says the Dalai Lama: a religious spirituality, guided by the tenets of a religion, or a secular spirituality, guided by the values of kindness, compassion, and so forth.
(Shortform note: There’s debate over whether Buddhism itself is a religion or a philosophy. Those who believe it’s a religion do so because Buddhism, like other religions, proposes that there’s a single, true reality (Nirvana). Those who believe Buddhism is a philosophy argue that Buddhism doesn’t propose a single reality, but rather some testable propositions to eradicate suffering from your life.)
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PDF Summary Shortform Introduction
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Howard C. Cutler is a psychiatrist and author based in Phoenix, Arizona. Cutler first met the Dalai Lama in 1982 while studying Tibetan medicine in Dharamsala, India, where the Dalai Lama lives. After their initial meeting, Cutler was impressed by the Dalai Lama’s capacity for kindness and happiness, and the two remained in contact until Cutler asked the Dalai Lama to work on this book with him in 1993. Now, Cutler works as a speaker and teacher, giving courses based on The Art of Happiness.
Connect with Howard C. Cutler and the Dalai Lama:
- The Art of Happiness Website
- The Dalai Lama’s Twitter
- The Dalai Lama’s Instagram
- The Dalai Lama’s Facebook
- The Dalai Lama’s Website
The Book’s Publication
Publisher: Penguin Random House
This guide covers the 10th...
PDF Summary Part 1: Your Purpose | Moving Toward Happiness
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Cutler adds that some westerners see striving for personal happiness as a selfish act. But the Dalai Lama argues the opposite is the case: Unhappy people are more self-absorbed than happy people, who are compassionate, helpful, and generous. Therefore, seeking happiness brings more good into the world.
(Shortform note: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs echoes the idea that we’re able to do our best for others when we’re happy and explains why this might be the case. Abraham Maslow posited that human motivation is tiered: We’re first motivated to satisfy simple needs—for shelter, food, and so on—and only motivated to tend to higher-tier needs—friendship, love, and the like—once the simple needs are met. Therefore, until we reach the highest tier, self-actualization—comparable to the attainment of happiness as described by the Dalai Lama—we can’t practice generosity toward others because we’re too busy meeting essential needs.)
You Can Achieve Happiness Because You’re Innately Compassionate
Not only is your purpose in life to seek happiness, says the Dalai Lama, but you’re also predisposed toward...
PDF Summary Part 2.1: Cultivating a Happiness Mindset
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(Shortform note: Beyond having malleable—what’s referred to in neuroscience as “plastic”—brains, you can enhance the plasticity of your brain by learning new skills, getting plenty of high-quality sleep, and exercising regularly.)
Cultivate a Happiness Mindset in Three Steps
The Dalai Lama believes there are three steps to cultivating a happiness mindset: education, development of motivation, and exertion. We’ll look at each step in the next three chapters.
(Shortform note: Other parts of Buddhist teachings are separated into three steps comparable to the ones outlined by the Dalai Lama here. The Threefold Way, for instance, consists of first establishing self-discipline (or ethics), then concentration (or meditation), and finally, wisdom.)
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Learn more about our summaries →PDF Summary Part 2.2: Cultivating a Happiness Mindset | Step 1: Educate Yourself
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Karma is positive or negative energy that lives on your “resume of life.” If you intentionally do evil, you’ll have bad karma on your resume, which will negatively impact your future lives: Bad karma might cause you to be reborn as a non-human being, like an animal or ghost. Such creatures are less able than humans to work toward enlightenment, or Nirvana, and escape the cycle of rebirth.
If you do good, though, you’ll have good karma on your resume, which will positively impact your future lives: You may be born as a human with a greater capacity to reach enlightenment than, say, a dog. When you’re wise, or clear-knowing, you’re more likely to make choices that build positive karma, thereby keeping your “resume of life” looking good.
Conversely, feelings of compassion and generosity make you and others happy, says the Dalai Lama. Not only this, but they benefit you and others. These feelings, therefore, are positive.
Here’s an example of educating yourself on a positive emotion: You’re happy every time you see a neighbor....
PDF Summary Part 2.3: Cultivating a Happiness Mindset | Step 2: Develop Your Motivation to Change
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Anger: Develop Your Motivation to Be Less Angry
According to the Dalai Lama, to be less angry, develop your motivation to become patient and tolerant—cures for anger and hatred, as we learned in the last chapter. The greater your motivation to strengthen these positive emotions, the easier it will be to change your mindset.
(Shortform note: The Dalai Lama recommends fostering patience and tolerance but doesn’t elaborate on how to do this. Build patience by, for instance, finishing one task before moving on to the next. Cultivate tolerance by becoming aware of your conditioned beliefs and how those affect your tolerance for other behaviors or beliefs.)
Anxiety: Develop Your Motivation to Be Less Anxious
The Dalai Lama recommends not developing a motivation to be less anxious, but rather to pivot your motivation toward being a kinder person. Here’s why: Anxiety often arises when you feel you can’t meet expectations. If, instead of worrying...
PDF Summary Part 2.4: Cultivating a Happiness Mindset | Step 3: Exert Yourself to Change
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(Shortform note: For Brené Brown, self-compassion is a key tool for combating negative feelings, particularly harmful perfectionism. Brown breaks self-compassion into three parts: 1) Self-forgiveness, 2) self-awareness, and 3) recognition that you’re not the only person struggling with negative feelings.)
Cutler adds that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, is a close therapeutic equivalent to the Dalai Lama’s process of combating negative emotions with positive ones. In CBT, you counter distorted thoughts—like the belief that your work must be perfect—with rational ones—like the understanding that you’re human and can’t do everything perfectly.
(Shortform note: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has a lot in common with this book’s approach to seeking happiness beyond this strategy of countering negative feelings with positive ones. In The Art of Happiness, you learn how to change your mind to be more conducive to happiness. In CBT, you similarly change or shift destructive thought patterns, like black-and-white...
PDF Summary Part 3: Build Strong Interpersonal Relationships
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Form Many Intimate Relationships
Now that you understand that other humans are integral to your happiness, begin forming connections. The type of connection you forge matters: According to the Dalai Lama, establish intimacy between yourself and many different people. Humans have defined intimacy differently across cultures and time, and there’s no overarching definition. In this book, Cutler and the Dalai Lama propose that an intimate relationship is one in which you’re open with the other person and experience a connection.
(Shortform note: It’s true that the level of intimacy you establish with others matters to your happiness. Someone with many loose connections can feel lonelier than someone with only a few close friends. Similarly, relationships marked by conflict and a lack of trust can fail to provide a sense of connection. However, individuals also have different tolerances for alone time and therefore, someone with a few close friends might still long for more connection because they don’t enjoy being alone. Optimizing your social life is a balancing act,...
PDF Summary Part 4.1: Work to Eliminate Suffering | Suffering Is Inherent to Human Existence
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But there’s additional context in the Buddhist tradition that makes this discussion of suffering not only valuable but necessary, says the Dalai Lama. Buddhists believe that you can eliminate suffering. In Buddhist philosophy, ignorance, hatred, and craving create suffering. When you start eliminating those root causes of suffering, you move toward freedom from suffering.
(Shortform note: The Dalai Lama discusses your ability to eliminate suffering but doesn’t say what will happen once you do this. In Theravada Buddhism, once you’ve eliminated suffering, you become an arhat—someone who’s attained Nirvana, spiritual enlightenment. There are four stages of becoming an arhat, each one involving the elimination of different cravings, forms of anger, and types of ignorance.)
To Free Yourself From Suffering, Accept Your Suffering
Acceptance of suffering is the first, integral step toward eliminating it, says the Dalai Lama. If you can’t accept that life is suffering, you’ll only ever apply spot solutions to your suffering—like the destructive forms of numbing, described above. You won’t free yourself from its root causes of...
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PDF Summary Part 4.2: Work to Eliminate Suffering | Strategies to Accept Suffering
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Strategy #2: Stop Feeling Guilty
Accept suffering by refusing to indulge in guilt, insist Cutler and the Dalai Lama. Guilt is a form of suffering-denial: You refuse to accept that you, and all humans, make mistakes that cause suffering. Therefore, when you make a mistake that causes suffering, you feel it’s unacceptable and punish yourself by feeling guilty. Instead of stoking unconstructive feelings of guilt, approach mistakes as learning experiences, writes Cutler.
Let’s say you accidentally address a new acquaintance by the wrong name, which causes them to suffer. You spend the rest of the day beating yourself up over having used the wrong name, rather than accepting that accidental suffering is unavoidable, even when you create it, resolving to remember their name next time, and moving on.
(Shortform note: Cutler and the Dalai Lama advise you to cut out guilt, but in proper doses, guilt can help people behave appropriately. When people recalled behavior they felt guilty about in the past, they were more likely to improve their behavior moving forward than if they recalled behavior they hadn’t felt...
PDF Summary Part 4.3: Work to Eliminate Suffering | Strategies to Combat Suffering
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(Shortform note: Practice of Buddhist teachings takes many shapes. Beyond implementing teachings in real-life situations, as the Dalai Lama proposes here, Buddhists also meditate, recite mantras, perform chanting rituals, or leave offerings to the Buddha. Combined, these strengthen your grasp of Buddhist philosophy.)
Change Your Perspective by Being Mentally Flexible
If you struggle to shift your perspective, you may need to develop mental flexibility, says the Dalai Lama. This is the ability to view all things from all angles, put yourself in anyone’s shoes, and adapt to changing circumstances and new information. Mental flexibility has two benefits beyond helping you change your perspective to lessen your suffering:
(Shortform note: The Dalai Lama isn’t the only person to advocate for mental flexibility: Edward de Bono’s Six Thinking Hats revolves around the importance of being able to switch thinking styles to maximize your effectiveness at work. The metaphor of hats implies that you can easily change thinking styles and that any...
PDF Summary Part 5: Weave Spirituality Into Daily Life
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Develop a Calm Mind
To weave spirituality into your life, develop a calm mind, recommends the Dalai Lama. When your mind is calm—undisturbed by distracting negative thoughts and emotions—you see clearly what’s going on and can use your spiritual teachings effectively.
(Shortform note: The Dalai Lama doesn’t specify what it means to “see clearly what’s going on.” It makes sense, though, that he means recognizing The Four Noble Truths and then pursuing the Noble Eightfold Path that leads to the end of suffering. We might also simply take this to mean understanding everything we’ve been discussing in this guide: the importance of a happiness mindset, interpersonal relationships, acceptance of suffering, and so on.)
Let’s say you’re planning a party for a friend. You’re overwhelmed by thoughts of all the tasks still to do and a feeling that you’re putting in a lot of work for someone who won’t be grateful. Your un-calm mind prevents you from seeing the reality of the situation: that your thoughts about the tasks, not the tasks themselves, are causing you to...