PDF Summary:Negotiate This!, by Herb Cohen

Negotiation permeates our daily lives—whether it's handling a business deal, resolving conflict, or persuading someone to support your idea. But effective negotiation is a learned skill, not an inborn talent. In Negotiate This!, Herb Cohen offers practical frameworks for mastering the art of negotiation.

You'll learn how to identify your priorities, set goals strategically, and make concessions tactically. Cohen explains when to employ methods like listening, compromise, and imposing deadlines to your advantage. Throughout his examples, Cohen emphasizes staying composed under pressure, avoiding escalating conflicts, and anticipating your counterpart's true motivations.

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Cohen recommended assigning different levels of importance to goals, understanding that their value is not uniform. By tactically yielding on less critical issues, you can gain leverage in areas that hold more substantial importance. He categorizes objectives as "must haves", "would likes", and "tradeables". Herb Cohen recommends a flexible and tactical approach in the context of making concessions.

Encourage adaptability and nurture creative methods for tackling challenges.

Cohen also warns that being inflexible during negotiations can be detrimental, as the opposing party might have insights, viewpoints, and requirements that you might not have considered. He champions flexibility, staying open to new ideas, and seeking out creative resolutions that can meet the goals of everyone involved.

Cohen highlights a key negotiation concept, which he refers to as the "Titanic Principle," suggesting that the visible demands and stances are just a small visible part of a much larger array of concealed motivations and concerns. By delving into the genuine motivations of the other side and recognizing that their preliminary position might not mirror their real needs, negotiators can unearth creative solutions that benefit everyone engaged in the process.

Build rapport and trust through active listening and empathy

Start the conversation by pinpointing shared goals before tackling the points where opinions diverge.

Herb Cohen recommends initiating the conversation by pinpointing mutual interests, which fosters a collaborative and positive foundation. He recommends building rapport and cultivating trust through the exploration of shared interests and acknowledging areas of mutual agreement before delving into contentious topics. This encourages shared understanding, reduces the tendency for defensive responses, and helps to see the involved parties as partners working together to find a solution.

During a difficult negotiation with a General Manager in Chicago, Cohen employed a tactic that emphasized careful listening, meticulous recording of details, and an extensive examination of the other party's background and convictions, which led to a more favorable outcome than outright conflict.

Choose language and a tone that minimizes the chance of provoking a defensive response.

Cohen underscores the importance of carefully choosing language and tone to reduce opposition and foster an atmosphere of collaboration. He advises steering clear of language that provokes conflict or passes judgment, while encouraging a dialogue that seeks out alternative solutions.

He emphasizes the significance of using first-person pronouns to express one's perspective without pointing fingers and recommends asking questions to understand the reasoning of the other side's position. Would you mind clarifying your reasoning in a manner that doesn't come across as adversarial?

Employ the strategy of reciprocal trade and thoughtfully provide compromises.

Propose strategic concessions to motivate reciprocal actions from the opposing side.

Cohen advocates for leveraging the power of reciprocity–the innate human tendency to respond in kind to how we are treated. During negotiations, strategically conceding on issues that hold less importance to you can often prompt the opposing party to make concessions as well.

He illustrates this principle through different examples, such as allowing the other side to decide on the meeting place or time, or reaching out to them to rekindle conversations after an impasse, which may require a minor shift in your position. The author contends that such actions foster a feeling of indebtedness, which in turn increases the likelihood of the opposing party offering compromises.

Make certain that the energy invested is suitably mirrored in the worth of the compromises made.

Cohen advises maintaining firmness in negotiations, since an early concession can be seen as a vulnerability, potentially reducing one's perceived value. He contends that the worth of concessions should reflect the amount of effort invested in securing them.

He tells a story about a vendor who sells pretzels and, without ever actually consuming one himself, decides to raise the price of his pretzels without taking into account the actual costs of making them. To increase the perceived value of your concessions, make certain that the opposing side works hard to gain their benefits, which in turn motivates them to make substantial concessions as well.

Other Perspectives

• While fostering a mindset of curiosity is beneficial, being too detached may lead to a lack of passion or urgency that can be crucial in driving a negotiation to a successful close.
• Maintaining a level of detachment is ideal, but in some negotiations, personal investment can be a powerful motivator and can demonstrate commitment to the outcome, which might be persuasive to the other party.
• Setting specific and quantifiable goals is important, but being too rigid in these goals can prevent a negotiator from taking advantage of unexpected opportunities that may arise during the negotiation process.
• Encouraging adaptability and creativity is valuable, but there may be situations where a firm stance is necessary to protect core interests or to not set a precedent of being too flexible.
• Building rapport and trust is crucial, but there can be a risk of manipulation or deceit from the other party, which requires a level of skepticism and the ability to enforce boundaries.
• Starting conversations by pinpointing shared goals is a strong tactic, but it may not always be possible if the parties have fundamentally opposing interests or if the shared goals are too superficial to form a strong basis for negotiation.
• The strategy of reciprocal trade relies on the assumption that the other party will respond in kind, which may not always be the case, especially in competitive or zero-sum negotiations.
• Proposing strategic concessions can be effective, but it can also lead to a slippery slope where one party may feel pressured to give up more than they are comfortable with, leading to an imbalance in the negotiation.

Elements like timing, knowledge, and power hold immense importance in the context of negotiations.

Time management is critical for effective negotiations

Imposing deadlines often sparks negotiations and a readiness to compromise.

Cohen emphasizes the significance of time management in negotiations, highlighting how deadlines can accelerate decision-making and lead to the provision of compromises. Cohen describes this principle as the notion that individuals tend to firmly hold their positions until the very end, usually conceding when they are up against a time constraint.

Cohen demonstrates that an agreement was reached just before the deadline expired, using the events of the Cuban Missile Crisis as an example. Cohen recommended the tactical use of time constraints to gain leverage, simultaneously instilling a sense of immediacy about deadlines for the other side involved.

Negotiations often last longer than expected, necessitating a calm and enduring demeanor.

Cohen underscores the point that negotiation unfolds progressively through a series of phases. He underscores the significance of maintaining calm and allowing time for negotiations, which frequently extend beyond expected durations.

He recommends keeping a composed attitude and refraining from hasty choices, underscoring the importance of remaining tranquil, particularly when time is of the essence. Cohen illustrates the importance of a long-range viewpoint, drawing on his involvement in labor negotiations and the Iranian hostage crisis as illustrations.

Possessing knowledge significantly enhances one's ability to exert influence and retain control.

Before initiating formal negotiations, gathering details about the other party is essential.

Prior to initiating any serious bargaining discussions, it's essential to thoroughly understand the other side's needs, deadlines, behaviors, and past negotiation strategies. He suggests collecting information from various sources, including analyzing existing information, utilizing casual networks, and seeking advice from those who have past experience in negotiations with the other party.

In the course of a casual conversation with the person in charge of employee management, the purchasing agent became aware of possible layoffs among suppliers. Cohen recounts how, before the election, he offered to provide Governor Reagan with his perspective on the crisis in Iran, which involved hostages, in hopes of assisting with their eventual release.

Shape the expectations of the other side by carefully controlling both the release and safeguarding of information.

Additionally, Cohen examines the strategy of intentionally disclosing or withholding details to shape the anticipations and viewpoints of the other party.

Entering negotiations with unrealistic expectations can often lead to a deadlock. He recounts a scenario where a neighbor was disturbed by noisy festivities in an adjacent apartment, suggesting that the irritated party could have initially set the stage for courteous behavior by offering the new residents a welcoming gift of pie. To successfully set anticipations, one should present compelling justification and evidence for their position, while avoiding baseless claims or those that appear irrelevant.

Perceived influence can often be more impactful than actual possession of power.

Cultivate the belief that you have sway and other options.

Cohen suggests that in negotiations, the perception of power can frequently have a greater impact than holding actual power. The other party's readiness to compromise hinges on their perception of your power, sway, and the options at your disposal.

He advises building self-assurance in your capabilities while warning against diminishing your resources when contrasted with an overestimated perception of the adversary's. Projecting confidence along with the impression that you are willing to walk away from the negotiation can enhance the perceived strength of your position, irrespective of the actual options at your disposal.

Bolster the trustworthiness of your promises and warnings.

Cohen presents multiple tactics to enhance the credibility of your ultimate stances and commitments. He explores how explicit and implicit pledges, such as establishing time limits, declaring strategies to the press, or showcasing determination by actions such as installing sleeping quarters in a manufacturing site, can be employed amidst industrial disagreements.

He also delves into tactics for handling intimidation, proposing that feigning confusion when confronted with a threat can frequently prompt the intimidator to reconsider their tactics, thereby guiding discussions in a direction that is more productive. He recounts a humorous episode where a teller's misinterpretation of a robber's demands inadvertently thwarted the illicit activities. Cohen maintained that employing these strategies not only bolsters your ability to persuade but also shields you from the influence or pressure exerted by the opposing side.

Other Perspectives

• While imposing deadlines can indeed spark negotiations, they can also lead to rushed decisions and suboptimal outcomes if parties feel too pressured.
• A calm and enduring demeanor is generally beneficial, but there are situations where showing urgency or passion can be equally effective in moving negotiations forward.
• Knowledge is power, but overreliance on pre-negotiation intelligence can lead to rigid strategies that may not adapt well to the dynamic nature of negotiations.
• Carefully controlling information is a double-edged sword; too much control can lead to mistrust, while too little can undermine one's negotiating position.
• Perceived influence is important, but without actual power or options, a negotiator may find themselves unable to follow through on threats or promises, which can damage credibility in the long term.
• Enhancing the credibility of promises and warnings is crucial, but overusing these tactics can lead to skepticism and could be seen as manipulative if not employed judiciously.