PDF Summary:Kissing Girls on Shabbat, by Sara Glass

In her memoir Kissing Girls on Shabbat, Sara Glass recounts her courageous journey of self-discovery. She grapples with the burden of reconciling her identity as a woman attracted to other women with the strict religious expectations of her Hasidic upbringing. Glass chronicles her evolution from denying her desires to embracing her authentic self, even as she endures mental health challenges, financial instability, and the loss of her sister.

Glass's resilience shines as she forges a new path, leaving behind the confines of her conservative community to create a nurturing environment for her children. Her story portrays the profound struggles of balancing truth, faith, and family while illuminating the human capacity for growth and self-acceptance.

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• Engage in private, anonymous online forums or support groups for individuals facing similar dilemmas between their sexuality and religious beliefs. Look for safe spaces where you can share your experiences, ask questions, and receive support from others who understand the struggle between self-expression and religious conformity. This can provide a sense of community and validation as you navigate your personal journey.

The protagonist's well-being is significantly challenged by mental health issues, which also pose a considerable obstacle to the well-being of her relatives.

This portion of the narrative explores the profound topic of mental health issues, which have an impact not only on Sara but also on her sibling. Glass explores the intricate nature of manic-depressive illness, its profound impacts, and the difficulties encountered in seeking mental health assistance in a community where comprehension and backing frequently fall short.

The central character's odyssey is marked by her determination to come to terms with the profound difficulties posed by her sister's mental health condition while her family remains committed to offering assistance.

Growing up, Sara witnessed the profound effects of mental illness on her family, especially as she saw her sibling Shani struggle deeply with bipolar disorder. Sara's experiences had a deep impact on her self-image, guiding her to pursue a profession in the field of mental health.

The protagonist reflects on her sibling's numerous hospitalizations and unpredictable behavior.

Sara's formative years were deeply influenced by the health challenges Shani endured. Glass skillfully portrays the turmoil and bewilderment that envelop Sara and her relatives while Shani endures episodes of mania, depression, and psychosis, which result in numerous hospital stays and extended times of disconnection. The illness that Shani was dealing with cast a pall over the family home, creating an environment filled with secrecy and shame that significantly contributed to the breakdown of their parents' marriage.

The protagonist is plagued by remorse and a sense of powerlessness due to her failure to act more assertively, a shortcoming that culminated in the tragic passing of her sister.

Sara's professional success in therapy is in sharp contrast to the deteriorating mental health of her sister, which culminates in the profound tragedy of Shani's suicide. Sara, as depicted by Glass, struggles deeply with feelings of remorse and culpability. She wrestles with different methods she could have used to support Shani, highlighting the complexities of mental health issues and the limitations of true assistance in a community that often overlooks such concerns.

The protagonist grapples with personal psychological challenges, including profound emotional turmoil.

Sara's experience extends beyond observing the hardships faced by her sibling. Sara Glass narrates her struggles with psychological well-being, often exacerbated by the limitations linked to her religious upbringing and traumatic incidents she encountered.

The protagonist grapples with anxiety, depression, and the lingering psychological distress caused by her previous abusive marriage and various challenging life events.

Throughout the book, the story unfolds to show Sara's struggles with her psychological well-being. Glass recounts her struggles with psychological well-being, which originated from a constrictive childhood, a damaging marital relationship, her sibling's health challenges, and an especially distressing incident of sexual assault. Sara's journey involved a consistent pattern of self-harm, emotional withdrawal, and a distancing from her emotions as she struggled with the intense stress and discomfort that plagued her.

The protagonist takes steps to obtain counseling and assistance in managing her mental well-being.

Sara, while professionally skilled in psychology, finds it challenging to manage her personal mental health concerns. Glass captures the challenges of navigating the mental health system, often encountering stigma, judgment, and inadequate support. She seeks help from numerous therapists, facing victories and obstacles as she endeavors to understand and manage her own apprehensions, traumatic experiences, and grief. This aspect of the protagonist's journey highlights the universality of mental health challenges, emphasizing that even those who dedicate their lives to helping others are not immune to personal struggles.

Practical Tips

• Create a personal reflection journal to navigate emotional challenges by writing down your feelings and experiences related to a loved one's mental health issues. This can help you process your emotions and identify patterns or triggers in your life. For example, you might write about how you felt during a family member's hospitalization or how you cope with feelings of guilt or powerlessness.
• Develop a self-care plan that includes activities to manage anxiety and depression stemming from past trauma. This plan could consist of daily walks, mindfulness meditation, or a hobby that brings you joy. For instance, if painting helps you feel at peace, schedule regular times to paint each week, ensuring you have this outlet for your emotions.
• Establish a support network by connecting with others who have experienced similar challenges through online forums or local support groups. Sharing your story and hearing others can provide comfort and practical advice for coping with the psychological impact of a loved one's mental health and personal traumatic experiences. You might find a group specifically for those who have been through abusive relationships or who are dealing with family members' mental health issues.

The protagonist diligently tends to her children's needs and provides for them, facing financial and practical challenges as a single parent.

This excerpt underscores the profound difficulties faced by a woman raising her children alone within her religious community. Glass depicts Sara's steadfast dedication to enhancing the future opportunities of her children, her struggles with economic difficulties, and the obstacles she encounters in a setting that prioritizes religious conformity over the autonomy and rights of individuals raising children.

Protagonist's precarious financial situation after her divorce

Sara's choice to end her marriage to Yossi has placed her in a financially unstable position, highlighting the financial challenges women face when leaving a marriage within the Orthodox Jewish community. The author portrays the significant strain and doubt she endures, stemming from her dependence on the economic assistance provided by her father and the limited options available within her society.

The protagonist grapples with financial challenges, ensuring she can cover not only her own essential expenses but also those of her offspring.

Sara struggles to meet her family's basic needs while balancing a low-paying job with the responsibilities of childcare and household tasks. Glass depicts Sara's struggle to balance her budget, ensuring she covers essential costs like nourishment, shelter, and her children's educational needs. Her journey reveals the economic challenges of raising a child alone within a community that often discourages women from pursuing higher education and career growth.

The protagonist is resolute in her pursuit of financial self-sufficiency to ensure her family's stability.

Sara is motivated to obtain her doctorate in psychology partly by her aspiration for financial self-sufficiency. Glass was determined to rise above the limitations of her religious upbringing and guarantee a stable future for her offspring. Her eventual success in establishing a thriving private practice symbolizes not only professional achievement but her hard-won financial security and independence.

The protagonist was steadfast in her quest to secure a more promising future for her children.

Throughout the book, Sara's unwavering affection for her offspring remains a steadfast theme. Glass portrays her as a steadfastly protective parent, determined to secure an outcome that respects her children's individual dreams and goals, even if it means challenging the conventions of her community.

The protagonist is dedicated to ensuring that her offspring have access to educational opportunities and a nurturing atmosphere.

Sara's increasing dissatisfaction with the inadequate educational options available for her children within the yeshiva system, steeped in stringent Orthodox customs, drives her to explore alternative educational methods. Glass illustrates her dedication to seeking out settings that nurture their inquisitiveness, support their educational requirements, and cultivate their unique abilities and passions.

The protagonist is unwavering in her determination, engaging in legal disputes if necessary, to safeguard her children's welfare and secure the resources they need.

Sara's decision to enroll her children in a contemporary Orthodox educational institution in Manhattan sparks a heated conflict with her ex-partner and results in a tough confrontation with religious authorities who seek to control how she lives her life. Glass depicts Sara grappling with the intense upheaval and the pivotal seriousness of her circumstances, which encompass the risk of losing guardianship over her children. She confronts the limitations set by the parenting agreement prescribed by her religion, securing the services of a lawyer, which underscores her unwavering commitment to the well-being of her offspring and her willingness to breach conventional expectations to guarantee a better future for them.

Practical Tips

• You can create a budget plan that prioritizes your children's needs by listing all expenses and income sources, then allocating funds to essentials first. This helps you visualize where your money is going and ensures that your children's needs are met before anything else. For example, you might prioritize rent, groceries, and educational materials, and cut back on less critical expenses like entertainment or dining out.
• Establish a small emergency fund by setting aside a little money each week, even if it's just a few dollars. This fund can be a financial cushion for unexpected expenses, reducing the stress of living paycheck to paycheck. Start by saving loose change or setting up an automatic transfer of a small, manageable amount from your checking to a savings account each payday.
• Explore community resources that offer support to single parents, such as free or low-cost educational programs for your children or legal aid services. Take advantage of these resources to provide a nurturing environment and secure necessary support without overextending your finances. You might find local non-profits that offer after-school programs or seek out pro bono legal advice for any disputes that may arise.