PDF Summary:Happier, by Tal Ben-Shahar

Do you look forward to a time when you’ll be happier? In Happier, Harvard professor and positive psychology expert Tal Ben-Shahar argues that greater happiness is accessible to everyone now. He argues that happiness is not an end goal, but an ongoing journey.

Ben-Shahar addresses common misconceptions and offers practical strategies to cultivate happiness in our everyday lives. In this guide, we’ll explore Ben-Shahar’s definition of happiness and consider ways in which people often get the pursuit of happiness wrong. We’ll discuss why happiness is a worthy cause and provide practical strategies to help you prioritize your happiness. Throughout the guide, we’ll supplement Ben-Shahar’s advice with research in the field of positive psychology and additional insights from authors like Catherine Price (The Power of Fun), Nicholas Carr (The Shallows), and Desmond Tutu and the 14th Dalai Lama (The Book of Joy).

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Furthermore, Ben-Shahar explains, happiness isn't a choice between pursuing self-interest and the interests of others: It isn't a zero-sum game. He emphasizes that pursuing personal happiness often results in enhanced empathy, generosity, and ability to positively impact others. Consequently, personal well-being and collective well-being are not only compatible pursuits but are often interdependent, creating a virtuous cycle that benefits everybody.

(Shortform note: Not only are happier people more empathetic and generous, but neuroscience research also shows that helping others increases our own happiness. Multiple studies in neuroscience have shown that helping others activates the reward center in our brains, leading to the release of endorphins and oxytocin. These chemicals not only make us happier but also have positive effects on our overall health. Interestingly, the benefits you get from acting generously aren’t dependent on witnessing the impact of your actions. For example, one study found that feeding strangers’ parking meters led to a reported increase in subjective well-being, even though participants didn’t interact with the people they were helping.)

How to Become Happier

Your happiness isn't predetermined. Research suggests that people’s happiness is influenced by a combination of three factors: genetics, life circumstances, and activities and habits. While we may not have much control over our genetics or life circumstances, Ben-Shahar explains that we do have significant control over our activities and habits—how we choose to spend our time. By choosing to spend your available time engaging in activities that bring you pleasure and meaning, you can significantly increase your overall level of happiness. In the next section, we’ll outline six strategies or mindsets that can help you lead a happier life.

(Shortform note: Ben-Shahar doesn't dismiss the impact of external circumstances, like war or poverty, on people’s happiness. Indeed, research shows that your circumstances do impact your happiness—but to a lesser degree than most people think. A 2005 study found that 10% of your happiness is determined by life circumstances, 40% by “intentional activity” as recommended by Ben-Shahar, and as much as 50% by genetics. However, the researchers in charge of this study have since revised their original conclusions, acknowledging that these percentages oversimplify the issue because people’s circumstances, choices, and biology are variables that interact and influence each other rather than isolated factors.)

Set Goals

One way to prioritize activities that provide meaning and pleasure is to set goals. Ben-Shahar explains that goals contribute to our happiness by providing us with a sense of purpose and direction. They enable us to organize our time and resources, giving structure to our lives and facilitating our focus on the present. According to Ben-Shahar, having goals is more important than achieving those goals. He explains that the true purpose of setting goals isn't in their completion but the process of striving toward them.

(Shortform note: While Ben-Shahar emphasizes the process rather than the result, Charles Duhigg, author of Smarter Faster Better, argues that if you want to meet your goals, you should make sure those goals specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (a.k.a. SMART). For example, instead of a vague aspiration like "I want to be happier," a SMART goal might be "I will write in a gratitude journal every evening for 60 days to increase my happiness." This goal isn't only specific and time-bound but also measurable, achievable, and directly relevant to the end objective of enhanced happiness.)

Ben-Shahar clarifies that your goals should be authentic and intrinsically motivated, what he calls "self-concordant goals.” Unlike typical goals, self-concordant goals are derived from a deep personal conviction or strong interest, making them more personally fulfilling to pursue. Ben-Shahar cites the work of Kennon Sheldon and his colleagues, who argue that people are happier when they pursue goals involving growth, connection, and contribution rather than goals related to money, beauty, or popularity. Identifying self-concordant goals can be challenging, as it requires a high level of self-awareness and the ability to resist external influences and pressures.

(Shortform note: Sheldon's research demonstrates that self-concordant goals increase motivation and psychological well-being in part because progress toward the goal is inherently satisfying and pleasurable, regardless of whether or not the goal is reached.)

Find Your Calling

Most of us will spend most of our lives working, and, according to Ben-Shahar, work is essential for happiness. The challenge lies in finding or creating work that brings both pleasure and meaning. Ben-Shahar cites research that explains that people think of their work in one of three ways—as a job, an obligation with little personal value; a career, focused on end results such as money, status, or power; or a calling, where the work itself is valuable, intrinsically motivating, and seen as a privilege rather than an obligation.

A Changing Relationship to Work in the Age of AI

As our society evolves and artificial intelligence (AI) becomes more ubiquitous in the workplace, the notion that work is essential for happiness—central to Ben-Shahar's model—merits re-evaluation and potential adaptation to accommodate the changing nature of work.

As we transition into a world where AI and automation increasingly take over repetitive and manual tasks, Ben-Shahar's classification of work into a job, a career, or a calling might no longer encompass the entire spectrum of modern work experience. In The Singularity Is Near, Ray Kurzweil makes the case that the rapid advancement of AI will dramatically alter the nature of work and our relationship with it. For instance, in a society where traditional work becomes less prevalent, people might find happiness and fulfillment in other pursuits like learning, creativity, or community service.

For example, consider the experiment in Finland with the concept of universal basic income (UBI). This system guarantees citizens a regular, livable income regardless of employment status, thereby freeing them from the pressure of securing jobs mainly for financial security. An early report suggests that recipients of UBI exhibit better mental well-being, life satisfaction, and trust in societal systems. If expanded and proven successful on a broader scale, UBI could redefine our relationship with work and offer fresh perspectives on how we might pursue happiness beyond the traditional work paradigm.

To find your calling, Ben-Shahar suggests asking yourself three questions: What gives you meaning? What gives you pleasure? What are your strengths? He refers to this as the MPS (Meaning, Pleasure, Strengths) Process.

(Shortform note: Ben-Shahar’s understanding of a personal calling is analogous to the Japanese concept of ikigai—your purpose or reason for being. Ikigai, according to Japanese philosophy, is unique to each person, and not necessarily connected to your job. Ben-Shahar proposes finding this purpose through the self-reflective MPS process. However, some philosophers argue against actively seeking your ikigai. Instead, if you occupy yourself with doing what you love in the company of people who love and care for you, your ikigai will naturally reveal itself.)

Ben-Shahar recognizes that not everyone has the luxury to choose work that they find inherently fulfilling. However, he suggests that you can transform your work into a calling by altering your perception, even if your job choices are limited. He insists that happiness is as much a product of our external world (what we do) as it is of our internal world (how we perceive what we do).

For example, consider a customer service representative who feels their job is repetitive and mundane. By shifting their perception, they can view their work as an opportunity to help solve problems and make customers' lives easier. Every call or interaction becomes a chance to make a positive difference. This transformation in perception can turn a simple “job” into a meaningful “calling.”

(Shortform note: Working, by Studs Terkel, presents a diverse collection of personal narratives about the meaning of work in everyday lives. The array of interviews presents a panorama of the American workforce, their feelings toward their jobs, and the societal norms surrounding work. Notably, the majority of Terkel's interviewees struggle to derive fulfillment from their jobs, and many perceive their work as merely a means to survive. While Ben-Shahar's argument of the power of perception to transform work into a calling is an aspirational and optimistic goal, Terkel's work offers a sobering perspective on the systemic and societal barriers that prevent many from applying his advice in their daily lives.)

Nurture Healthy Relationships

According to Ben-Shahar, cultivating healthy relationships is also key to finding long-term happiness. Good relationships provide both present and future benefits. They offer immediate emotional support, a sense of belonging, and joy in our daily lives, and they also provide future stability and continuity that help us navigate life changes and challenges.

(Shortform note: In The Good Life, Harvard psychiatrist Robert Waldinger and psychologist Marc Schulz argue that strong relationships are the key to a good life. Based on the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which has been ongoing since 1938, the book explains that relationships are critical to long-term contentment and a sense of purpose in our lives. Moreover, positive relationships also enhance our health and help us better handle stressful situations, potentially increasing our lifespan.)

Ben-Shahar suggests surrounding yourself with people who love you unconditionally. He explains that unconditional love creates a supportive environment that fosters personal growth and well-being and empowers us to pursue our dreams. Ben-Shahar also stresses that balance is essential in relationships. This means while we might need to compromise on some things, we shouldn't lose sight of our core values, beliefs, and personal goals. He asserts that a truly healthy relationship won't demand that we give up essential parts of who we are.

(Shortform note: If you want to improve the relationships in your life, Waldinger and Schulz recommend actively evaluating and fostering your social interactions. They suggest listing the individuals in your social network, reflecting on the frequency and quality of your interactions, and dissecting the unique benefits each relationship offers. Additionally, they encourage being present and practicing mindfulness during social exchanges. By attentively listening, showing genuine interest, and maintaining open communication, you can enhance the emotional connection and mutual understanding in these relationships.)

Build Happiness Rituals

Recognizing that constant happiness is unattainable, Ben-Shahar suggests that participating in regular activities that provide meaning and pleasure will contribute to your overall state of happiness. He recommends introducing small rituals, or "happiness boosters," into your routine. These rituals help sustain happiness, even during difficult times or periods of transition. Ben-Shahar recommends incorporating these happiness rituals into leisure time, arguing that they're more fulfilling and energizing than passive activities like watching TV or scrolling on your phone.

(Shortform note: Catherine Price elaborates on this idea in The Power of Fun. Both Ben-Shahar and Price suggest you'll be happier if you incorporate small fun, pleasurable activities, or “happiness boosters,” into your free time. Price recommends adding different levels of fun (or happiness) in your life in two ways: first, by making an effort to have daily and weekly fun fixes, and second, by prioritizing opportunities for more time-intensive experiences that leave you feeling energized and rejuvenated. For example, if you love playing in water, you might join a weekly water aerobics class but also plan an annual rafting trip with your closest friends.)

Slow Down

According to Ben-Shahar, being happier also requires you to slow down. He introduces the concept of time affluence. Time affluence refers to the sensation of having ample time to engage in personally meaningful activities, leisure, and reflection. In contrast, time poverty describes the stressful state of feeling constantly rushed, overworked, or falling behind. Drawing on psychological research, Ben-Shahar points out that time affluence is a better predictor of well-being than material affluence.

(Shortform note: The term "time affluence" is attributed to psychologists Tim Kasser and Kennon Sheldon in their research on well-being. Kasser and Kennon found people who are time affluent tend to have lower stress levels, better physical and mental health, and higher-quality social relationships. In contrast, those with material affluence could still experience dissatisfaction if they have no time to enjoy their wealth or partake in meaningful activities. Kasser and Sheldon advocate for a cultural shift toward valuing time affluence over the never-ending accumulation of material wealth.)

Ben-Shahar highlights the widespread issue of time poverty in our culture, suggesting that by reducing the pace of our lives, we can cultivate time affluence and thereby increase our overall happiness.

The Impact of Minimalism on Time Affluence

The practice of minimalism—having fewer possessions, fewer distractions, fewer commitments, and fewer decisions to make—can effectively slow down time and help practitioners experience an increased sense of time affluence. According to Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus, the authors of Minimalism, minimalism is the conscious effort to reduce clutter from your life, both physical and metaphorical. It encourages focusing on what's truly valuable and discarding what distracts you from your core values.

Millburn and Nicodemus offer the following strategies to practice minimalism:

1. Remove Clutter: This doesn't just include physical possessions, but also commitments, activities, and tasks that don't offer value to your life. By eliminating activities that aren’t important, you free up time for more meaningful pursuits.

2. Prioritize: Minimalism encourages you to zone in on what’s important in your life and realign your time around these priorities. This leads to a smarter allocation of time, which increases time affluence.

3. Simplify: The minimalist approach values quality over quantity. By simplifying your daily and weekly schedules and focusing on the essential, you can reduce your responsibilities and open up free time.

4. Reduce Decision Fatigue: Decisions drain time and energy. By streamlining choices—in everything from your wardrobe to your daily tasks—you save time that would otherwise be spent making low-stakes decisions.

5. Be Mindful: Minimalism promotes controlled and mindful use of technology. Limiting time spent on digital devices, such as phones and laptops, provides a tangible increase in available leisure time.

Believe You Deserve Happiness

Finally, Ben-Shahar argues that to be happy, you must believe that you deserve to be happy. He argues that recognizing and affirming your right to happiness is a crucial step in the pursuit of a joyful and fulfilling life.

(Shortform note: According to Brené Brown, author of The Gifts of Imperfection, deep-seated fear and guilt are barriers to the pursuit of happiness. These feelings of unworthiness, rooted in shame and fear of vulnerability, can make it challenging to believe that you deserve to be happy. Brown’s research suggests that there are three values that you need to practice to increase your sense of worth and the belief that you deserve happiness: 1) ordinary courage: being brave enough to be vulnerable and honestly express who you are and how you feel; 2) compassion: being kind to yourself and others; and 3) connection: an intangible energy generated when we form an open, judgment-free, and mutually sustaining bond with another person.)

Ben-Shahar says pursuing personal happiness can feel uncomfortable when we’re socialized to focus on more material achievements, even though they may not provide real satisfaction. Also, our own fears and self-doubts get in the way, making the pursuit of happiness even harder. There's also a misleading idea that happiness is a limited resource—that if you're happy, it somehow takes away from others—which causes needless guilt.

(Shortform note: In Your Erroneous Zones, Wayne Dyer elaborates on how we often get in the way of our personal happiness. He explains that we all have "erroneous zones," mental constructs and patterns that hinder personal growth and prevent us from being happy. Erroneous zones include self-limiting beliefs, such as the fear that we don’t deserve happiness, the need for approval from others, or guilt for acting in our own self-interest. To limit the power of erroneous zones, Dyer suggests recognizing that these beliefs are often unfounded or inaccurate. He also recommends cultivating a sense of self-worth that doesn’t rely on external approval.)

How Happiness Will Change the World

Ben-Shahar argues that in addition to changing your life, the pursuit of happiness also has the power to reshape society. He argues that a collective focus on increasing personal happiness can significantly contribute to a healthier, more harmonious, and happier world. According to Ben-Shahar, the world needs a paradigm shift that reframes happiness as the highest good, as opposed to material wealth or other external measures of success and well-being.

An Economic Model for a Happiness-Driven World

Economist Kate Raworth argues that this kind of revolution requires not just a mental shift but an entirely new economic structure. She outlines a theoretical economic system called “doughnut economics” in which the economy’s purpose is to promote human prosperity and happiness. This means 1) an economy that produces enough to provide everyone with the material resources to pursue their highest dreams, but also 2) an economy that doesn't deplete the vital natural resources upon which life on the planet depends. She likens the economy to a ring-shaped doughnut. The inner circle represents the zone of deprivation—an economy that doesn't produce enough of the necessary goods and services to meet the population’s essential needs. The outer circle represents the limits of economic growth, beyond which the economy begins to outstrip the planet’s natural resources. The goal is to stay within these bounds.

Ben-Shahar argues that when we focus on pursuing happiness rooted in our personal growth and values, we stop feeling jealous of other people’s joy and success. This shift in priorities could also decrease conflict by reducing the emphasis on competition for material resources. With happiness as the highest good, rather than material wealth, Ben-Shahar says societal structures would become more equitable and sustainable.

(Shortform note: According to a study, the pursuit of happiness can also lead to a more sustainable and eco-friendly lifestyle, which in turn benefits the environment. The research found that individuals who prioritize their well-being and overall life satisfaction tend to adopt greener behaviors. This is because happier individuals are more likely to engage in pro-environmental activities, such as conserving resources, reducing waste, and practicing sustainable consumption.)