PDF Summary:Finding Me, by Viola Davis

Finding Me, Viola Davis’s memoir published in 2022, recounts her extraordinary journey from the depths of poverty to the heights of Hollywood stardom. In this deeply personal account, Davis shares how acting became a beacon of hope and a path toward self-discovery in the midst of poverty, abuse, and racial discrimination.

Davis, celebrated for her roles in The Help, Doubt, How To Get Away With Murder, and Fences, has distinguished herself in film, television, and theater, achieving the historic "Triple Crown of Acting." Beyond her acting career, she co-runs JuVee Productions, aiming to produce diverse storytelling across various media.

This guide provides a detailed overview of Davis's life, enriched with historical context and additional information not found in the memoir, while also exploring Davis’ impact on the discussions about the importance of diverse storytelling in the media.

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Davis notes that even as others continued to recognize her success, she still felt trapped by the self-doubt and fear that had plagued her childhood. She explains that others’ affirmations of her talent were a poor replacement for true self-love, which she still lacked.

The Nature of Imposter Syndrome

Davis’s self-doubt and fear despite her apparent success is emblematic of what’s known as impostor syndrome, a psychological pattern where individuals doubt their achievements and fear being exposed as frauds, highlighting how praise from others often doesn't change our own doubts and insecurities. Impostor syndrome is particularly prevalent among people of color, women, and other marginalized populations that face systemic barriers or heightened expectations, which can exacerbate feelings of self-doubt.

To counteract impostor syndrome, experts recommend practices such as acknowledging and documenting your achievements, seeking feedback from trusted peers or mentors, and challenging negative thought patterns through cognitive behavioral techniques to foster a more objective view of your own abilities and accomplishments.

First Paid Acting Job

After graduating from Rhode Island College, Davis continued to pursue acting. She received a full scholarship to participate in a six-week summer program at Circle in the Square Theatre School, which offers programs and training for aspiring actors, directors, and playwrights. Here, she was mentored by Alan Langdon, whom she calls one of her greatest teachers. Davis took whatever jobs she could get to pay for her housing and living expenses. She worked in factories, as a telemarketer, and handing out flyers in Times Square for a friend’s play. After that summer in New York, Davis got her first professional acting job with Trinity Repertory Company, a renowned regional theater in Rhode Island.

(Shortform note: While Davis remarks on the positive experience she had at the Circle in the Square Theater School, many alumni have criticized the institution for its Eurocentric reading material, lack of diverse faculty and leadership, erasure of cultural backgrounds, and institutionalized racism. In 2019, alumni came together to write an open letter to the school outlining their grievances and presenting a list of demands, including the need for a third-party investigation, a public apology, and mandatory Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion training for all faculty and staff.)

The Juilliard School

But Davis wanted to land bigger roles. Following advice from a friend, she decided to apply to Juilliard, a renowned school for performing arts. (She only applied to one school because she could only afford one application fee.) She took the train from Rhode Island to New York, completed a brief 45-minute audition, and was back in Rhode Island the same day to be on time for her evening performance at Trinity Rep. Davis says she knew as soon as her audition was over that she would be accepted to Juilliard.

The Juilliard School

Founded in 1905 as the Institute of Musical Art, The Juilliard School aimed to offer high-quality music education in the US similar to European conservatories. Initiated by Dr. Frank Damrosch, the school sought to train American talents for symphony orchestras. Then, thanks to a large donation from magnate Augustus D. Juilliard, the Juilliard Graduate School was created in 1924 and merged with the Institute of Musical Art in 1946, adopting the name The Juilliard School.

In 1969, the school relocated to New York City's Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts. The curriculum expanded to include dance and drama in 1951 and 1968 respectively. Juilliard continues to maintain a strong reputation and central role in the American arts community. The school boasts a slate of impressive alumni, including acclaimed cellist Yo-Yo Ma, ballet dancer Mikhail Baryshnikov, and actors Robin Williams, Kevin Kline, Adam Driver, and, of course, Viola Davis.

Davis attended Juilliard from 1989 to 1993. In reflecting on her time at the prestigious institution, Davis emphasizes how challenging it was, not only because of the rigorous coursework and time commitment, but also because Juilliard’s standards for acting were based on white cultural norms. Davis explains that while she was asked to stretch in new ways as an actor, she was also asked to diminish her blackness, to mold herself into the ideal of a white actor. According to Davis, Juilliard only taught a Eurocentric theater canon; any work outside of that scope wasn’t considered worthy of consideration. While earlier experiences of racism had made Davis feel small, her experience at Juilliard made her angry.

The Debate Over Racism at Juilliard

Juilliard has continued to face criticism for what alumni and students have called racist practices. After the murder of George Floyd in 2020, the school, like many institutions, expressed its commitment to antiracism, introduced diversity curricula, and offered a series of workshops. Many students felt the changes didn’t go far enough. Furthermore, a problematic workshop that involved an auditory recreation of the African slave trade upset many Black students. The school canceled future workshops and issued an apology.

The workshop incident sparked outrage and students issued a list of demands, including an end to colorblind casting and the implementation of more comprehensive and historically accurate educational content that fully represents the contributions and experiences of Black individuals and communities.

Critics argued these demands could restrict artistic freedom by prioritizing identity over creative exploration. The controversy reflects a wider debate on balancing tradition and progress within the arts. Juilliard continues to face pressure to overhaul its classical curriculum to better represent Black students, mirroring calls for radical change across the theater world for greater diversity.

Davis was looking for a different kind of experience. She wrote an essay about her experience as a Black woman at Juilliard and earned a scholarship to pursue a professional development opportunity outside of her normal coursework. The summer between her sophomore and junior year, Davis traveled to Gambia with a small group of students to study the dance, music, and folklore of several West African ethnic groups, including the Wolof, Jola, Mandinka, and Sousou.

(Shortform note: In Gambia, traditional music and dance are deeply intertwined, showcasing the diverse cultural heritage across various ethnic groups. Despite each group having distinct drumming tunes and dances, a popular form involves dancers forming a circle or semicircle around drummers, taking turns to display energetic footwork and hip movements. Appreciation is shown through throwing head scarves (Mussour) into the ring. While Mandinka dances focus on arm movements and footwork, Wolofs emphasize hip movements, with performances being a community affair involving both genders.)

Davis describes the trip as an awakening. For the first time, Davis saw blackness as something beautiful that should be celebrated. Moreover, as she learned about and practiced the dances and other art forms of West Africa, she recognized that art didn’t have to be dictated by an enforced and arbitrary standard, but rather could be born out of human experience—the innate desire and need to express oneself. Art, Davis realized, should be an expression of what makes us human.

(Shortform note: Davis's exploration of the transformative power of art resonates with Leo Tolstoy's insights in What is Art?, originally published in 1897. Tolstoy argues that the essence of art lies in its capacity to communicate emotion and unite people through shared experience. Like Davis, he criticizes the elitism of institutional art standards, advocating instead for art that’s accessible, comprehensible, and, above all, sincere in its emotional representation. For Tolstoy, the true value of art is found in its ability to foster empathy and understanding, bridging societal and cultural divides.)

Upon her return to Juilliard, Davis presented a one-woman performance, which she described as the culmination of everything she’d learned in West Africa. The performance was met with critical acclaim, leading to her recruitment by Mark Schlegel of the J. Michael Bloom Agency. The highly regarded New York talent agency was so impressed that Schlegel offered her a contract even before she had graduated from Juilliard.

(Shortform note: In an appearance on the "Hot Ones'' series, where celebrities are interviewed while consuming increasingly spicy chicken wings, Davis describes how impactful her one-woman show was for her confidence. Davis recalls the immense challenge and thrill of being the sole performer onstage playing 17 different characters, with no fellow actors for support and relying solely on her interaction with the audience. This experience, she noted, imbued her with a sense of invincibility and confidence. Her performance received rave reviews and standing ovations.)

Life as a Working Actor

However, even after being booked by a talent agency, Davis’s career didn’t take off. She struggled to get auditions and book parts. Davis reflects that many successful actors talk about not compromising their values, but when you’re struggling to make rent, you don’t always have a choice in the roles you take. She explains that it’s a privilege to be able to choose the parts you play.

(Shortform note: Davis’s initial struggles to find work, despite being represented by a talent agency, underscore the precarious nature of acting as a career path where job security is virtually nonexistent and financial pressures are a constant. As Davis describes, the majority of working actors have to string together roles—often sporadically offered—with no guarantee of a steady income. A report from the Screen Actors Guild‐American Federation of Television and Radio Artists (SAG-AFTRA) revealed that the median income of its members is $46,960. For many, this means living paycheck to paycheck, with the specter of unemployment always looming.)

Moreover, Davis was coming up against the interconnected forces of racism, colorism, and sexism. The few casting directors who were casting for roles for women of color were looking for “light-skinned” women or women who were more racially ambiguous. More often than not, Davis says, she found herself getting auditions for parts playing crack-addicted mothers or other roles equally steeped in negative racial stereotypes.

Colorism in a Global Context

In Hollywood, as highlighted by the experiences of actors like Davis, the issues of racism, colorism, and sexism are deeply intertwined, often resulting in casting choices that perpetuate negative stereotypes. These practices are not isolated to the American entertainment industry but can be seen in various forms across the globe, each reflecting its unique socio-cultural nuances.

For example, in Bollywood, the Indian film industry, there's a notable preference for lighter skin tones—a reflection of long-standing colorist attitudes within the society. This has historically translated into casting practices where lighter-skinned actors are favored for leading roles, often sidelining talented darker-skinned actors or relegating them to typecast roles. Additionally, Bollywood has faced criticism for its portrayal of gender roles and stereotypes, with women often depicted in reductive, secondary positions to their male counterparts.

Breakout Roles

Davis describes getting her big break when she landed the role of Vera in August Wilson’s Seven Guitars, directed by the renowned Lloyd Richards. The show would travel to Chicago, Boston, San Francisco, and LA before debuting on Broadway the following year.

(Shortform note: Lloyd Richards was an American theater director, actor, and educator. He is best known for his work as the first African American director to win a Tony Award for Best Direction of a Play, which he received for his work on another August Wilson play, Fences, in 1987. Davis would later act in the on-screen adaptation of Fences opposite Denzel Washington, ten years after Richards passed away.)

The show premiered on Broadway on March 28, 1996, and many of Davis’s idols attended, including actresses like Halle Berry and Angela Bassett. According to Davis, her opening performance at the Walter Kerr Theatre was everything she had dreamed of when she first imagined becoming an actress—standing ovations, flowers, and fans waiting at the stage door. Davis’s parents were in the audience on opening night, and Davis could see the pride on their faces. Davis’s performance as Vera also earned her a Tony nomination. Though she wouldn’t win her first Tony for a few years, the nomination gave her further validation of her talent.

(Shortform note: In a review of Seven Guitars published in The New York Times, a critic called the play the highlight of that year’s theater season. He described the play as lyrical and moving, specifically commending the cast, including Davis, for their powerful performances.)

Breaking Into TV and Film

Despite her success, Davis couldn’t seem to break into the world of TV and film, which not only paid better but also provided access to better health insurance, which Davis needed as she struggled with painful fibroids. However, to her own surprise, Davis finally landed a small role as Don Cheadle’s girlfriend in the 1998 film Out of Sight, starring Jennifer Lopez and George Clooney.

(Shortform note: Like Davis, access to healthcare is a major struggle for many artists and creatives, who often work part-time and lack employer-provided benefits. The lack of accessible healthcare in the US results in high out-of-pocket costs for those with chronic illnesses. This system inherently disadvantages those who pursue creative careers, forcing them to grapple with the high costs of healthcare or, worse, forgo necessary treatments due to financial constraints.)

Once she’d gotten one film role, more started to come. That same year, Davis booked a role in an HBO movie called The Pentagon Wars (1998). She then got a part in the CBS hospital drama City of Angels. Davis hesitated to take the part, as the pay was only about a third of what most series regulars got paid. City of Angels was one of the first all-Black TV dramas and the network was hesitant to invest too much money in it, but Davis decided to take the gig despite the low pay.

City of Angels

The CBS drama City of Angels aired from 2000 to 2001 and is notable for being one of the few primetime dramas at the time with a predominantly Black cast. Set in Los Angeles during the 1940s, the show aimed to provide a unique historical perspective on racial tensions, social issues, and the challenges faced by African Americans during that era.

The series delved into the lives of the staff at the fictional Angels of Mercy Hospital, showcasing their personal and professional struggles in the racially divided society of the time. It tackled topics such as segregation, discrimination, and the limited opportunities available to African Americans in various aspects of life, including healthcare.

Despite critical acclaim, City of Angels faced challenges during its initial run. The show struggled to find a wide audience and was eventually canceled after one season.

Finding Love

Davis was grateful she took the leap to join the cast because she met her future husband, Julius Tennon, on the set of City of Angels three weeks after moving to LA. He gave her his card, but it took her six weeks to work up the confidence to call.

(Shortform note: Before meeting Davis, Tennon had an established career in the entertainment industry. He appeared in numerous television shows and films, including guest roles in popular series such as Criminal Minds, The Practice, and Friday Night Lights. Tennon also had roles in films like Dazed and Confused and Hard Target. Additionally, he had experience as a producer, working on projects like the documentary "The Start of Dreams." While not as well-known as Davis, Tennon remains active in the entertainment industry, balancing his acting work with his other roles as a producer and writer.)

According to Davis, she became happier and more self-confident after she began dating Tennon. In earlier relationships, Davis had never felt like a priority to the men she dated, but Tennon was caring and attentive and made Davis feel wholly loved.

(Shortform note: The link between self-esteem and the dynamics of romantic relationships is well established within psychological research. For example, social penetration theory highlights how forming deep, emotional connections through self-disclosure within intimate relationships can significantly improve self-esteem. According to this theory, when individuals, such as Viola Davis, are with partners who are attentive and prioritize their needs, this validates their sense of worth and shows them they’re important in their partner's life. This positive reinforcement from a loved one not only strengthens the bond between partners but also plays a crucial role in bolstering an individual's sense of self-worth.)

Davis’s relationship with Tennon also allowed her to become financially stable for the first time in her life. The couple moved in together and were slowly able to save enough money to buy a condo. Davis continued to get consistent work, but often in smaller roles and still as the drug-addicted mother (Antwone Fisher) or a white woman’s best friend (Eat Pray Love), but it was enough to sustain her and help out her parents and sisters whenever she could.

(Shortform note: In Reel Inequality, Nancy Wang Yuen analyzes Hollywood's history of typecasting and its role in perpetuating systemic racism. Like Davis, Yuen argues that typecasting confines actors of color to stereotypical roles, reinforcing harmful racial stereotypes and stunting their professional growth. Yuen advocates for having more people of color in key creative and decision-making roles. By increasing the number of directors, writers, and producers of color, she explains, Hollywood can begin to challenge and change the deeply ingrained narratives and stereotypes that still persist.)

Tennon proposed to Davis in 2002 and the two were married at a small ceremony in LA on July 23, 2003. They celebrated their wedding again at a larger gathering with Davis’s whole family in Rhode Island later that year.

(Shortform note: While celebrity weddings are often plagued by paparazzi, Davis was still flying under the radar when she got married in 2003. According to Davis, she didn’t begin to have to worry about being followed by photographers until after her role as Annalise Keating in How to Get Away With Murder.)

Becoming a Mother

Davis explains that she had always wanted to be a mother, but had long struggled with chronic fibroids. After years of pain and the discovery of an abscessed fallopian tube, Davis decided to have an elective hysterectomy.

(Shortform note: Hysterectomies are a common operation, but they can bring hidden emotional burdens and social pressures for the women who have them. In societies where women's worth is often tied to having children and sexual relationships, this surgery can make women see themselves differently and affect their personal relationships. Worries about feeling less attractive or having issues with sex after the surgery can make these feelings worse. Because of these potential effects, many women who have had hysterectomies stress the need for doctors to explain all the options and make sure women have all the information before going ahead.)

However, her hysterectomy didn’t stop Davis from fulfilling her dream of motherhood. She and Tennon adopted a baby girl, Genesis, in 2011.

(Shortform note: In a conversation with Ellen DeGeneres in December 2020, Davis opened up about Genesis’s aspirations to follow in her footsteps and pursue an acting career. She described her daughter’s enthusiasm for acting, highlighting her confidence in mastering dialogue and embodying characters. Genesis has already begun to carve out her space in the entertainment industry. In 2019, she was the voice of Vivi in The Angry Birds Movie 2, marking her debut on the big screen.)

Making It

Davis explains that throughout her career, she was consistently offered roles that were underdeveloped—women who were simply caricatures, stereotypes, or lacking in depth. Therefore, Davis took it upon herself to inject these roles with as much humanity as she could, demonstrating her commitment to bringing authentic, multidimensional characters to life, despite the limitations of the roles she was offered.

A History of Black Stereotypes in Film

​​From the early 20th century, Black characters in film were largely trapped in demeaning roles that perpetuated deeply embedded racist stereotypes. D.W. Griffith’s The Birth of a Nation (1915) is a prime example, as the movie glorified the Ku Klux Klan while depicting African Americans as subservient, violent, and unintelligent.

The Harlem Renaissance in the 1920s and '30s brought advancements in Black cinema, with directors like Oscar Micheaux telling stories featuring Black professionals. By the mid-20th century, the Civil Rights Movement had begun to influence Hollywood, slowly eroding the most egregious stereotypes and introducing more complex roles for Black actors.

The latter part of the 20th and the early 21st centuries witnessed a more decisive shift towards diversity and authenticity, as seen in works like Spike Lee's Do the Right Thing (1989) and Marvel’s Black Panther (2018). These films, among others, played crucial roles in redefining the narrative around Black characters, portraying them in empowered and nuanced roles. However, despite these advances, the film industry continues to grapple with accusations of tokenism, typecasting, and a lack of representation behind the scenes, as evidenced by the 2015 #OscarsSoWhite movement.

At the age of 42, Davis was cast in the relatively minor role of Mrs. Miller in the 2008 film Doubt, starring Meryl Streep, Amy Adams, and Philip Seymour Hoffman. Davis's portrayal of Mrs. Miller, a mother caught in a difficult moral and personal dilemma, received critical acclaim and showcased her ability to convey profound emotional depth even with minimal screen time. A few years later, Davis was cast as Aibileen Clark, a 1960s housemaid, in the 2011 film The Help. Though many criticized the movie for perpetuating racial stereotypes, Davis's performance was celebrated for the nuance and humanity she brought to the role. Her performance earned her several nominations and awards, including an Academy Award nomination for Best Actress.

(Shortform note: After working together on Doubt, Davis and Meryl Streep developed a close and supportive relationship. Notably, in 2012, when Davis was named one of Time’s Top 100 Most Influential People, Streep wrote an essay in honor of her friend and colleague, praising Davis's undeniable talent and depth as an artist, but also acknowledging her impact on culture, her engagement with societal issues, and her leadership in the industry.)

Davis's career took a monumental turn when she was cast as Annalise Keating in the TV drama How to Get Away With Murder (2014-2020). This role provided Davis an unparalleled chance to portray a complex, brilliant, and flawed black woman, showcasing her acting depth and earning her widespread acclaim. Notably, she made history as the first Black woman to win a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series. The show's success and Davis's powerful performance significantly elevated her profile in Hollywood, opening doors to more diverse and complex roles.

(Shortform note: Many have compared Davis’s role as Annalise to Kerry Washington's role as Olivia Pope in Scandal, which aired from 2012-2018. However, while both characters are strong, complex Black women leading major network shows, others argue that they’re fundamentally different. While Olivia Pope is portrayed as a crisis management expert with a polished exterior, navigating political landscapes, Annalise Keating is raw, flawed, and morally ambiguous. This contrast not only showcases the range and depth actors like Davis bring to their roles but also illustrates a shift from roles that are merely “strong” in a conventional sense to those that are intricately layered and humanized, offering a richer tapestry of Black womanhood on screen.)

On a personal level, playing Annalise catalyzed Davis's journey towards self-love. The character's complexities, often absent in Black female roles on TV, empowered Davis to challenge internalized societal norms about Black women. In a significant on-screen moment, Davis removed Annalise's wig and makeup, embracing her natural appearance—a powerful rejection of Hollywood's limited beauty standards. In portraying Annalise's strength and emotional depth, Davis explains how she was also able to celebrate her authentic self, her strengths, and her vulnerabilities.

(Shortform note: While the choice to remove her wig and makeup was a profound moment for Davis, it also meant a lot to many Black women. In her book You Can't Touch My Hair, Phoebe Robinson describes the scene as the most pivotal moment in the history of television for Black women. She explains that the scene challenged long-standing stereotypes about the strong Black woman and offered a rare glimpse into the intimate beauty routines of Black women, which are rarely shown in mainstream media. According to Robinson, this scene deeply resonated with many Black women, providing them with a sense of representation that had long been absent, while also granting non-Black viewers a window into their experiences.)

Paving the Way for Others

According to Davis, her career has never just been about her own success. Davis's journey through the entertainment industry has been marked by numerous obstacles, many stemming from systemic racism and sexism.

Driven by her personal experiences, Davis has committed herself to challenging these biases. She consciously pursues complex and diverse roles that defy stereotypes, presenting a more authentic portrayal of Black women's experiences. Through her work, Davis fights against the discrimination that pervades the industry, striving to uplift diverse narratives from marginalized communities. In partnership with her husband, Davis also founded JuVee Productions, a production company that seeks out and develops projects that center on marginalized perspectives, amplifying stories that might otherwise be overlooked.

(Shortform note: One of the ways that Davis and Tennon uplift diverse voices in the entertainment industry is through JuVee Productions' Emerging Artist Series. This initiative is focused on identifying, supporting, and showcasing the talents of upcoming artists from various disciplines, encouraging creativity and offering a valuable opportunity for these individuals to gain visibility and recognition in a competitive field.)

The Healing Power of Self-Love

While Davis is committed to supporting others, she speaks often about the importance of self-love and prioritizing your own wants and needs. Davis candidly reflects on her struggles with self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy rooted in the racism and trauma she experienced, especially as a young child.

Davis emphasizes the significance of setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and embracing vulnerability as key components of self-love. She also discusses the importance of therapy and self-reflection in the healing process. She shares how seeking professional help allowed her to confront and heal from both the immediate and long-lasting effects of trauma. Through therapy, Davis gained tools to address the negative patterns and behaviors that stemmed from her traumatic experiences, allowing her to break free from their hold and reclaim her life

(Shortform note: Davis has been transparent about the role therapy has played in her life, and while therapy has become increasingly normalized, studies show that Black people are less likely to seek treatment for mental health challenges than their white counterparts, despite experiencing higher rates of PTSD and symptoms of trauma. Barriers such as unequal healthcare access, historic distrust of medical institutions, a cultural reliance on non-medical support systems, and the underrepresentation of Black counselors, along with a general lack of cultural competence in the mental health field, further discourage Black individuals from accessing professional treatment.)

Davis advocates for the idea that true healing begins from within, encouraging readers to embrace their authentic selves and celebrate their unique qualities. Davis writes that liberation comes when you stop seeking validation and approval from external sources and instead find strength and fulfillment in your inherent worth.

(Shortform note: Self-love is a theme that Viola Davis continues to reiterate in speeches and interviews. On several occasions, she has reminded her audience that “you are the love of your life.” When asked for relationship advice during a red carpet interview, Davis gave the same advice that she gives to her daughter Genesis—that loving yourself is the greatest seed for great friendships and great relationships. Everything, she said, grows from there.)