PDF Summary:Exactly What to Say, by Phil M. Jones

Do you have a great business product and want to land new customers quickly? In Exactly What to Say, business expert Phil M. Jones describes how to improve your business interactions by using key phrases that appeal to your listener’s subconscious mind and guide them to a decisive “yes.” He’ll teach you how to avoid the dreaded customer response of “I’ll have to think about it” and how to capitalize on the conversation even if a customer says no. Jones’s advice is geared toward business interactions, but the principles are transferable across many industries and contexts.

In this guide, we’ll explain exactly what to say at critical points of a sales conversation. Along the way, we’ll also examine whether research supports Jones’s claims about why his rhetorical tactics work and compare his ideas to other popular business books like The Psychology of Selling by Brian Tracy and Influence by Robert Cialdini.

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Appeal to Emotion

Because people are emotionally driven, one way to persuade an undecided customer is to leverage their natural desire to feel positive emotions and avoid negative emotions. Jones argues that when you use the phrase “How would you feel if…” you make people actually experience the emotion of the conditional scenario.

For example, you can say, “How would you feel if you bought this product, and it helped you surpass your sales goal within six months?” This language makes the customer feel a positive emotion in the context of your product and makes them believe that the described outcome is possible, motivating them to accept your offer to manifest that feeling in the future.

On the flip side, Jones explains that appealing to a desire to avoid negative emotions motivates buyers as well. For example, “How would you feel if you passed up this opportunity and then later realized it would have helped you significantly?” The question motivates customers to purchase the product to avoid the scenario you’ve described and the negative emotions that come with it.

Another way to appeal to the customer’s emotion is with the phrase “The good news is…”. This phrase subconsciously stimulates positive emotions and makes people want to act on them by accepting your offer. For example, you could say, “The good news is, I can give you a special deal on my product for this one time only.” The key phrase signals to the listener that something positive is happening, whether or not they were initially wanting that product. The positive feeling they experienced makes them want to capitalize on the good news by accepting your offer.

Negative Emotions Are More Powerful Than Positive Ones

Evidence suggests that appealing to negative emotions (using “How would you feel if…”) in the context of a business sale is even more powerful than appealing to positive emotions (using “The good news is…”).

Research shows that humans have a negativity bias, which means that negative events (losses) affect us more intensely than positive events (gains). In Thinking Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman explains this as an evolutionary trait that emerged because humans were more likely to survive if they responded to threats more urgently than opportunities. For example, running away to avoid a predator is more urgent than the opportunity to forage for some food.

Today, that instinct makes us base decisions more heavily on loss aversion than potential gain. As a result, telling someone to imagine missing an opportunity and failing has a much bigger impact than telling them to imagine how happy they’ll be when you have their product.

Give Polarizing Options

Listing polarizing options is another way to persuade an undecided customer because it creates the illusion that they have to make a decision between the limited options you’ve given them. Jones claims that when one of the options is clearly framed as the best scenario, it makes it easier for the person to quickly choose your desired response.

One example of how to use this strategy is to say, “There are two types of people, those who let big opportunities slip by because they’re afraid to take risks, and those who seize opportunities that will help them achieve their vision.” People generally like the idea of achieving success, and they don’t like the idea of being fearful and missing out on opportunities. Therefore, even if there are actually infinite types of people and potential outcomes, the customer is likely to accept your offer because they’re motivated to choose the only option you’ve given them with a positive outcome.

Instead of letting the person agonize over many possibilities, this tactic encourages their subconscious brain to choose your desired response without directly telling them what to do.

(Shortform note: In The Art of Thinking Clearly, Rolf Dobelli explains the perils of having too many options, validating Jones’s tactic of presenting only two options. According to Dobelli, having too many options to consider paralyzes you and fosters uncertainty. Both of these reactions are related to humans’ natural loss aversion (because the more options we have, the more we fear that we’ll miss out on something we don’t choose), as well as decision fatigue, which occurs when analyzing options drains you of your ability to make decisions. Based on this evidence, it’s beneficial to give a customer limited options for potential outcomes and limit the number of products for the customer to choose from.)

Create a Path of Least Resistance

The next strategies for convincing an undecided customer are asking open questions (as opposed to questions with a yes or no response) and using the phrase “Most people…”. These strategies help you control the direction of the conversation and make your desired response the easiest response.

Jones explains that asking open questions keeps the conversation going and makes it easier for people to give you information, rather than saying no. For example, change the question, “Are you looking to buy a new computer?” to “What kind of computer would you ideally like to have?” In the closed form, it’s easy for the customer to say no and end the conversation. With open phrasing, the customer is more likely to engage with you because it is more difficult for them to either ignore you or tell you they don’t want to answer the question.

Open and Closed Questions Have Unique Benefits in Sales

Although Jones prefers open questions because they prevent an abrupt end to your conversation, Neil Rackham’s SPIN Selling explains why both open and closed questions are valuable tools and describes a more thorough approach to asking questions on a sales call.

Similar to Jones, Rackham argues that open questions are more engaging and encourage more detailed responses that give valuable insight into the customer’s preferences. On the other hand, closed questions are useful if you want to engage with your customer less. For example, if you have limited time or if your customer is very talkative, a closed question will help you get to the point faster.

Rather than focusing on open versus closed questions, Rackman recommends a strategy called the “SPIN Sequence”, which includes the following types of questions:

• S- Situation questions: Ask background questions about the customer, such as “What are your main priorities?”

• P- Problem questions: Ask questions about what problems you can potentially solve for your customer. For example, “Are you worried about the amount of time it takes to troubleshoot equipment?”

• I- Implication questions: Ask questions that emphasize the impact of the situation and problems that the customer identified. For example, “How will the time inefficiency of troubleshooting equipment impact your overall revenue and goals?”

• N- Need-payoff questions: Ask questions that encourage the customer to state how your product can meet their needs. For example, “How useful would it be if we could reduce the time you spend troubleshooting equipment?”

In addition to asking open questions, the phrase “Most people…” also creates a path of least resistance in your favor. If a prospective customer is on the fence, and you tell them, “Most people try the product for a month and end up loving it,” the customer trusts that people before them in the same situation made a good decision. They feel more confident that they should do the same as “most people” in the hopes of a similarly good outcome.

(Shortform note: Research suggests that people tend to conform not because they trust other people’s decisions, but rather because they want to fit in socially. One motivating factor for conformity is maintaining harmony within social groups. For example, if everyone in your social group wants to go on vacation to a certain place, and you don’t, you might go along with their choice to avoid conflict. In addition, people go along with what others want for the pleasure of fitting in and gaining the approval of others. This explains why, even if they don’t know the other people who supposedly chose to buy a product, a customer might subconsciously believe there is a social benefit to making the same decision.)

What to Say When Someone Has an Objection

The previous sections covered what to say when you introduce an idea and how to steer an undecided person toward a yes. This next section focuses on key phrases Jones recommends using when a prospective customer raises an objection to what you’re selling. The strategies for overcoming objections include getting more information and eliminating customer-identified barriers.

Get More Information

The phrase, “What makes you say that?” is an effective response to a customer’s objection because it prevents the discussion from turning into an argument and leads to more information about the other person’s needs. Instead of suggesting the customer is wrong (for example, by saying “Yes, you actually would benefit from this product.”), Jones explains that posing this question forces the person to justify their objection. The person might realize that they don’t have a strong argument for their opinion, or they could provide more transparency on their specific needs, which will help you negotiate.

For example, if a prospective customer says, “I don’t think your product is a good fit for me,” using this key phrase as a response encourages the customer to tell you why exactly they think that. With this information, you can make a stronger case for why they should buy the product.

Eliminate a Customer-identified Barrier

When a customer says no because of a specific limitation, Jones recommends using the sentence structure, “If I can…, then will you…” to eliminate the barrier. For example, if the customer says, “I can’t buy your product because my budget is only $100,” you respond, “If I can lower the price to $95, then will you take the deal?”

The customer will feel obligated to accept because you eliminated their justification for saying no, or they will feel they have to come up with another justification for not accepting your offer.

“Looping” Combines These Key Phrases to Overcome Objections

In Way of the Wolf, Jordan Belfort argues for a similar overarching strategy to overcome objections in a process called “looping.” In this process, when a prospective customer raises an objection, he recommends that you:

• Backtrack to understand the underlying uncertainty. For example, if the person says, “I’ll have to think about it and get back to you,” ask questions to find out what their concerns are. This is similar to Jones’s technique of asking “What makes you say that?”

• Present your argument, based on the new information.

• Make an offer again.

Steps two and three are similar to the eliminate the barrier aspect of Jones’s phrase, “If I can, then will you…?”, except you may be able to simply reframe the offer in Belfort’s process, rather than changing the terms of the offer as Jones suggests. For example, if a customer objects to your product because they’re not good at learning new software, you could present the argument that most people find your product much more user-friendly than the one your customer currently has, then offer the same product again.

After these steps, Belfort recommends a repeated process of looping to address objections before transitioning to a final close. Although the wording of Belfort’s method is not specified, the overall goals parallel some of Jones’s phrases.

When a time constraint is specifically posed as a barrier in sales interactions, Jones recommends the question “When would be a good time?”. When a customer hears this phrase, they subconsciously assume that there will be a good time at some point, and this pushes them to come up with a suitable time for you to continue making your case.

(Shortform note: Brian Tracy’s The Psychology of Selling argues that the question “When would be a good time?” is effective because it’s a friendly, low-pressure technique. He warns that you’re likely to fail at getting an appointment if your customer feels pressured or manipulated.)

What to Say to Capitalize on a “No” or “Yes”

Now that we’ve covered what to say when you initiate a sales pitch, what to say when someone is undecided, and how to respond to an objection, this section explains Jones’s advice for how to end on a strong note after the customer makes a decision. These key phrases help you get a downsell if a prospective customer says no and help you get a referral if someone says yes.

Offer a Downsell After a Rejection

When a customer says no, Jones encourages using the phrase “Just one more thing…” to achieve a downsell, or the next best offer after the first deal you tried to make. Instead of walking away from the conversation with nothing, this phrase creates an opportunity to get something, even if it wasn’t your original goal.

For example, if you offer someone an expensive new software, and they reject it, you could say, “Okay, just one more thing. I have a free version of this software that also works really well. Would you be interested in trying that?” By achieving a downsell you make the conversation worthwhile.

“Just One More Thing…” as a Strategy for the Primary Sale

Jones describes the downsell as a last resort in a business transaction, but his phrase “Just one more thing…” could also be part of the persuasion strategy for the primary sales goal.

Robert Cialdini’s Influence explains how to use this “rejection-then-retreat” tactic to get customers to agree to a second offer by intentionally making an initial offer that the customer will reject. When you make a concession by asking for less the second time, the customer feels obligated to match the concession by making the purchase. They also feel more committed to making a purchase because they perceive your offer as a hard-earned concession, and they presumably don’t want this effort to be wasted.

To illustrate this strategy using Jones’s phrase, you could offer to sell a customer a car that costs $50,000, knowing that it’s too expensive for them. When they say no, you could say,
“Okay. Just one more thing–I have another great car that only costs $30,000, if you’d like to look at that.” Even if the second car was your intended sale from the beginning, framing it as a downsell makes the customer more likely to buy it because it’s a relatively smaller request.

Turn Gratitude Into a Referral

To capitalize on a customer’s positive response, Jones suggests turning their gratitude into an opportunity to get a referral (getting your customer to recommend you to other people) by using the phrase, “Could I ask a small favor?”

When a customer accepts your product, they’ll often say thank you, and according to Jones, their gratitude is accompanied by a sense of indebtedness. Therefore, when a customer says, “Thanks so much for this new product, I’m really excited about it,” you could reply, “You’re most welcome! Also, could I ask a small favor? Would you be willing to give my business card to a couple of friends who might also be interested in the product?” The customer would likely feel rude rejecting your request right after they expressed appreciation for you because they feel obligated to return the favor.

Jones’s Phrases Draw on the Reciprocity Principle

The request for a small favor and the downsell tactic both align with the Reciprocity Principle described in Robert Cialdini’s Influence. The Reciprocity Principle claims that people instinctively want to repay others when they receive something good. For example, when you use the phrase, “Just one more thing…” followed by a smaller request, the customer wants to repay you for the apparent concession. The question “Could I ask a small favor?” relies on the customer’s desire to repay you for selling them a product. Cialdini explains that reciprocity evolved as an important trait in humans because it created strong social bonds in communities and increased their chance of survival.

In addition to capitalizing on a final response from a customer, the Reciprocity Principle also applies to overcoming objections in a sales conversation. For example, Jones’s recommended sentence structure “If I can…, then will you…” appeals to the customer’s sense of reciprocity because you are giving them something and asking for something in return.