PDF Summary:Becoming, by Michelle Obama
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Michelle Obama's memoir Becoming delivers candid reflections on the life of the first African-American first lady. Offering a window into her personal evolution, Michelle details how ambition, hard work, and embracing her authentic story helped her journey from her family’s Chicago working-class neighborhood to a 47th-floor law office, then to the White House and beyond.
Becoming provides insights into Michelle’s self-determination: She pushed herself to excel in Ivy League classrooms and achieve a prestigious career by age 26, then mustered the courage to swerve off that path in search of greater fulfillment. It details her relationship with Barack—a love story of two opposites—and their challenging quest to navigate family and political life. Through it all, we witness a woman who perpetually strives to become a better version of herself.
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A few years later, her family visited some Black friends who had moved to a white community in the suburbs. While they were there, someone vandalized Michelle’s father's treasured Buick Electra, which was parked on the street. Her family never knew who did it, but her mother assumed the neighbors wanted to discourage more Black people from moving in.
When Michelle turned 17 and headed off to Princeton, for the first time in her life she found herself to be the only black woman in the classroom. She had to muster the courage to speak up in class despite the difference in her skin color and gender.
4. Persisting in the Face of Adversity
Michelle's experiences taught her to remain optimistic and not let setbacks steer her off course. Her father served as a role model, never complaining about his disability caused by multiple sclerosis. He simply accepted his condition and did his best to ignore it.
Her parents modeled optimism in the way they believed education could bring their children a better life. And when Michelle's high school guidance counselor told her that she wasn’t "Princeton material," Michelle ignored her, applied to the college, and got accepted.
In her eight years as first lady, Michelle met hundreds of highly accomplished people, many of whom told a story similar to hers: Someone in their young years doubted their ability to succeed at their goals. The naysayers, critics, and doubters are always standing at the door, but the most successful people learn to push right past them.
The people whom Michelle admires most remain optimistic in the face of great struggles. First, there’s Barack, who firmly believes that people can work toward creating a better society. But she names many other models of hope and inspiration, including Nelson Mandela, whom she met on a trip to South Africa, and the wounded warriors at Walter Reed Hospital, who inspired her with their resiliency.
Michelle notes that even her own story can be told in both pessimistic and optimistic ways: In one story, she grew up in a too-small house with not much money in a neighborhood that had begun to decay. In another version, she grew up in a music-filled house with a close-knit, loving family who believed in the importance of higher education. In the former story, she is disadvantaged. In the latter, she has every chance at success.
5. Learning to Believe in Yourself
Michelle’s major concerns during the first 50 years or her life could be filed under one overarching question: Am I good enough? The questions and doubts began after middle school, when she got accepted to a high-achieving high school. She felt insecure about her intelligence—would she be able to measure up against the other students, many of whom come from privileged backgrounds? But she soon learned that if she studied hard enough, she could easily keep up with them.
Later, in her first year at Princeton, she again felt insecure about her background, her education, and her abilities. Would she be able to make her mark in classrooms full of white men? She quickly learned they weren’t smarter than she was; they were just more self-confident.
Many years later, when she campaigned for Barack, the media vilified her. She questioned whether she was helping or hurting her husband's career. But she worked hard at improving her public speaking skills and her media persona, and she played a major role in Barack’s win.
When she became first lady, she knew that the world was scrutinizing her because she was the first Black woman to hold this position. The question "am I good enough?" continued to haunt her. But as she made major strides in advancing her political initiatives, she realized that the answer was a resounding “yes.”
6. Being Proud of Your Unique Story
During the campaign for Presidency, Michelle struggled to find the right words to frame the many twists, turns, and contradictions of her life story. Ultimately, she followed her mother's advice—to tell her story truthfully and authentically.
Michelle believes that too many people, especially women and minorities, go through their lives feeling ashamed of where they've come from or what their backgrounds are. They think that their truth doesn't live up to the established ideal, so they keep it hidden. But finding your own voice and telling your own truth is critical to the process of self-creation. You can’t be fully yourself until you embrace every part of your story—past, present, and future.
7. Living Under the Weight of Privilege
Even before becoming first lady, Michelle was acutely aware of her privilege, which could take a variety of forms. She understood there’s inherent privilege in what class or race you're born into, but there's also privilege in being a mother who can choose how much to work—full- or part-time—or whether to work at all. There's even privilege in being able to have children, whether through in vitro fertilization or otherwise. Sometimes privilege is based on the sheer luck of evading life's catastrophes: layoffs, mass shootings, domestic violence, lack of health care, poverty, prison, and so on.
As Michelle’s daughters grew up in the White House, Michelle saw how many advantages they enjoyed compared to millions of girls all over the world who didn’t even have access to education. Michelle believes the only answer to living under the weight of privilege is to find a way to serve others—to do what you can to create more advantages for everyone.
8. Living Under the Spotlight’s Glare
While the role of first lady was an extremely high privilege, it came with a difficult downside: The media and public officials constantly scrutinized and criticized Michelle (one U.S. Congressman even made jokes about her hips).
Michelle yearned for privacy for herself and her children. She craved simple, private-citizen freedoms, like going shopping by herself or taking her kids on field trips without causing a scene everywhere she went. She wanted to be free of the constant presence of cameras and cell phones, to not always be concerned about what clothes she wore or how her hair looked. Most important, she wanted the media and the public to leave her daughters alone so they could live their childhood and teenage years as normally as possible.
But this, she knew, was impossible. Presidential life did not afford the luxury of privacy, and each member of the Obama family would need to find ways to live with that.
As First Lady, Michelle Worked for Positive Change
The role of a first lady doesn’t come with a job description or even with official responsibilities. And yet, the position wields tremendous power, and Michelle wanted to use her power to bring positive change. During her eight years in the White House, while raising her two daughters, she pushed through four major initiatives. They were:
Let's Move: Initiative for Children's Health
Concerned about the childhood obesity epidemic, Michelle established a public health initiative that addressed family nutrition and exercise. At the time, nearly a third of American children were overweight or obese, and Type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure were common.
With the help of a group of fifth graders, Michelle planted a vegetable garden on the South Lawn of the White House, and she used it to draw attention to several messages:
- Families needed to learn how to feed their children healthier foods.
- Grocery stores needed greater access to fresh produce, and it had to be priced so that poor families could afford it.
- The food and beverage industry had to stop "supersizing" everything.
- Ad agencies had to stop targeting children with commercials for sugary cereals and processed foods.
Michelle and her staff also developed the Let’s Move! campaign to get kids exercising. Michelle hula-hooped on the South Lawn and guest-starred on “Sesame Street” to discuss vegetables with Big Bird. When reporters from health magazines interviewed her, she explained that rising obesity levels meant rising health care costs and that many poor Americans didn't have access to fresh, affordable produce.
Michelle's campaign for family health resulted in several victories, including better labeling for sodas and other beverages, a commitment by the suppliers of school lunches to cut fat, sugar, and salt in their meals, and the establishment of a federal task force on childhood obesity.
Joining Forces: Initiative for Military Families
Michelle’s visits to military hospitals and talks with hundreds of wounded soldiers and their families inspired her to start an initiative called Joining Forces. Its goal was to establish concrete ways for Americans to rally around military service members, veterans, and their families and support them through wellness, education, and employment.
Joining Forces worked in tandem with the public and private sector to find jobs for veterans and help them get access to higher education. It also created media campaigns to fight the stigma behind PTSD, or post-traumatic stress disorder.
Reach Higher: Initiative for Higher Education
Concerned about the number of school-age children being killed by gun violence, Michelle launched an education initiative called Reach Higher. The goal was to get more kids interested in continuing their education beyond high school—whether through a professional training program, community college, or four-year college or university—by making them aware of the ways they could get there.
Michelle knew that many school-age kids, especially in urban areas, did not have mentors or role models to make them aware of what they could achieve. These kids needed to learn what their career and college opportunities were and how they could access them. Reach Higher provided financial assistance to high school guidance counselors to help students get into college, set up programs for summer internships and learning opportunities, and made it easier for students to obtain federal financial aid.
Let Girls Learn: Initiative for Global Girls’ Education
In her final year as first lady, Michelle launched her fourth initiative, Let Girls Learn. Inspired by Malala Yousafzai, a Pakistani teenager who had been shot by the Taliban because she advocated for girls to go to school, Michelle started a government-wide initiative to give girls around the globe better access to education.
Michelle felt a personal connection to the importance of schooling: Education was her ticket to a better life, and she knew it would be true for others. She enlisted celebrity friends, including Stephen Colbert and Kelly Clarkson, to add some star power to her campaign. She got Diane Warren to write the pop song "This is For My Girls." Profits from the song helped to fund girls' education around the world. Michelle even guest-starred on James Corden's YouTube show Carpool Karaoke to help raise awareness.
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PDF Summary Preface: Michelle Decides to Tell Her Story (2017)
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Eight themes weave through Michelle’s memoir:
1. Becoming Her Authentic Self
Michelle is a woman who is perpetually striving to become a truer version of herself. Throughout adulthood, she learns to not get stuck holding on to the same identity or set of beliefs. She learns that personal growth has no finish line; there’s no moment in time when she’s done evolving. “Becoming” requires understanding there is always more work to be done. It’s an ongoing process of self-creation. It means being willing to change and adapt to evolving circumstances and always striving to be true to yourself.
As a child, she focused on doing the “right” thing to please her teachers and family. She wanted only to make a good impression and earn others’ praise and admiration: She strived for straight A’s and perfect attendance in school. She told adults she wanted to be a pediatrician when she grew up because they seemed pleased by that answer. She didn’t think about what her passions were or what she wanted from her life.
But after following a predetermined path of “checking off the boxes”—earning top honors in elementary and high school, getting admitted to top-notch...
PDF Summary Chapters 1-2: Childhood and Family Life (1964-1976)
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But Fraser never complained about his disability; he simply accepted it and did his best to ignore it. As Michelle writes, her family had a "long-standing habit of blocking out bad news."
Fraser's Buick Electra was his pride and joy; he loved to take the family for Sunday drives. (Michelle reflects that it would be many years before she understood her father’s attachment to that car: When he was driving, he was free from his disability.)
Fraser's passions were jazz and art. As a young man, he had briefly attended art school before he ran out of money and joined the Army. For much of Michelle's childhood, Fraser volunteered as a precinct captain for the city's Democratic Party. He spent Saturdays visiting his constituents to hear their complaints about garbage pickup or street potholes.
Michelle's Mother
Michelle credits her mother, Marian, for teaching her to value education. Marian taught Michelle how to read before she attended kindergarten and often took her to visit the public library. Up until Michelle entered high school, Marian did not have a job, so she was always at home and actively involved in Michelle's life and schooling. She kept to a strict...
PDF Summary Chapters 3-5: Coming of Age (1970s)
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Michelle Comes Out of Her Shell
Exposed to frequent extended-family barbecues and visits to her jazz-loving grandfather's house, Michelle became less introverted and more comfortable around large groups of people. Every Sunday, the Robinsons visited the "other" side of the family—Fraser's parents, whom the kids called Dandy and Grandma, and Fraser's three younger siblings. Michelle and Craig spent time with their father’s younger brothers, who wore leather jackets and bell bottoms and talked about Malcolm X and the Black power movement. Through their conversations, Michelle began to realize the world was much bigger than her South Shore neighborhood.
Introduction to a History of Discrimination
Michelle loved her uncles but she was bothered by Grandpa Dandy's bad temper until she learned the source. He shouted at the television and at his wife, Michelle's grandmother, a meek and devout Christian woman who managed a Bible bookstore. Michelle, who had an inner fierceness, was mystified by her grandmother's passivity in the face of his verbal abuse. Since no one else would speak up, Michelle sometimes confronted Dandy when he berated her grandmother.
Michelle's...
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Learn more about our summaries →PDF Summary Chapters 6-7: Princeton Years (1981-1985)
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She saw some students of color experience more blatant discrimination. In one instance, a Black female student was called to the dean's office because her white roommate had complained that she had “big Black guys” in their room to celebrate her birthday.
Other instances of discrimination were invisible to Michelle. Midway through her freshman year, Michelle's white roommate moved out of their room, but Michelle never found out why until 25 years later. As Michelle and Barack rose to political prominence, the roommate was featured on the news. She told this account of what happened: Her white mother had been horrified to learn that one of her daughter's roommates (Michelle) was Black, and she demanded that the college separate them. Princeton moved the white girl into another room, but kept the entire incident under wraps.
Thriving at Princeton
Given the white-male-dominated milieu at Princeton, Michelle felt compelled to work even harder to overcome racial stereotypes. She quickly learned not to feel intimidated by the white males who spoke up most often in class. She realized they weren't smarter than she was; they were just more confident.
She focused all...
PDF Summary Chapters 8-9: Law Career and Meeting Barack (1989-1990)
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As Barack's mentor, Michelle was required to take him out to lunch. While they chatted, he told her that before he went to law school, he worked for three years as a grassroots community organizer in Chicago, rebuilding neighborhoods and creating jobs. Barack’s earnest attitude and breezy self-assurance impressed Michelle.
A Friendship Grows
Barack and Michelle became friends at work. The pair formed an unspoken bond over the fact that they were two of a very few Black people at the law office (out of more than 400 lawyers in the firm, only five full-time attorneys were Black).
The two had lunch together once a week. Michelle learned that Barack was three years older than she was, that he read literature and political philosophy, that he played basketball, and that his hometown was in Oahu, Hawaii.
The only thing she disliked about him was that he smoked cigarettes—a habit she detested since her parents smoked when she was a child. But despite Michelle’s fondness for Barack, she had no romantic interest in him. She was solely focused on her career at the firm and staying on track to become an equity partner before she turned 32.
Michelle even invited...
PDF Summary Chapters 10-12: Fraser’s Death and the Obamas’ Marriage (1990-1993)
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Also, Barack had his hands full: He was about to graduate from Harvard, take the Illinois bar exam, and interview for jobs.
Michelle felt concerned that Barack didn't share her eagerness to wed, but she hoped that when he returned to Chicago after graduation, they would live together permanently and he would decide to marry her.
Fraser Dies
Michelle's father's health deteriorated as his multiple sclerosis worsened, but as always, he wouldn't admit to it. His standard response to health questions was "I'm fine." He refused to go to the doctor, and he continued to go to work every day. He used a motorized scooter to get around at his job.
Eventually Fraser's legs and feet swelled so badly that he couldn't walk at all. Marian called an ambulance to take him to the hospital. The doctors informed him that he had Cushing’s Syndrome, which may or may not have been related to his multiple sclerosis. The disease was so far advanced that Fraser never left the hospital.
In March 1991, Michelle visited Fraser and found him so swollen that he was unable to breathe comfortably or speak. She cried, and he took her hand and kissed it. She knew he was saying goodbye,...
PDF Summary Chapters 13-14: Career Changes and Motherhood (1993-2003)
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When an Illinois state senator encouraged Barack to run for office, Michelle hoped he wouldn't take the bait. She had a low opinion of politics and politicians, and she wanted Barack to stick to his stable jobs in law and teaching. But Barack had political ambitions, and Michelle wanted to support his goals even though she believed the job would drive him crazy.
Barack was elected to the Illinois Senate in November 1996. He had to spend three nights a week in the state capital of Springfield, away from Michelle in Chicago, but he was excited about his new legislative position.
The couple developed a strategy to help them cope with the time apart: Every Friday night the couple shared "date night" at a favorite Chicago restaurant, where they'd catch up on the details of their lives.
Associate Dean at the University of Chicago
Michelle, now 32 years old, prepared to make another career transition. After three years running Public Allies, she accepted a job as an associate dean at the University of Chicago. Her role was to focus on community relations and make sure the university was better known to everyone in the city. With a larger paycheck and...
PDF Summary Chapter 15: Michelle's Early Forties (2004-2006)
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Massachusetts Senator John Kerry, who was running for U.S. President against George W. Bush, invited Barack to deliver the keynote address at the 2004 Democratic National Convention in Boston. It was an incredible opportunity: As a mere state legislator, Barack had never had this big a chance to get his message across. He gave a 17-minute speech before a crowd of 15,000 conventioneers, and the applause seemed to go on forever.
Michelle, who watched from backstage, felt a huge surge of pride. She saw that Barack was exactly where he should be, doing what he should be doing.
Reflection
As Michelle looks back on this night in 2004, she realizes that this is the moment when she finally gives up on the idea that they will ever have a "normal" family life, one that isn't in the political spotlight. She finally accepts that Barack is destined for political life, and it’s her job to support him in that important calling.
Barack Becomes a U.S. Senator
The response to Barack's convention speech was overwhelmingly positive. Journalists started making a leap of faith, calling him "the guy who will be the first Black president.” People asked for his...
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PDF Summary Chapters 16-18: Campaign for the Presidency (2007-2008)
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Michelle Joins the Campaign Fray
Michelle was now fully committed to Barack's bid for President, and as she had predicted, her family's life changed quickly and radically. Michelle remembers Barack as being constantly in motion, responding to the nonstop actions and reactions of the campaign. He was competing against Hillary Clinton, who was much better known than Obama, and eight other Democrats.
As most presidential candidates' spouses do, Michelle ran her own campaign to get Barack elected. She hired Melissa Winter as her campaign manager (who later became Michelle’s chief of staff), and Katie McCormick Lelyveld as her communications director. Michelle's only stipulation was that there would be no overnight travel—she wanted to be home every night for the girls.
Michelle scaled back her work at the hospital to part time and traveled a few days a week to Iowa, a priority state for any candidate hoping to win the Democratic nomination. The state was 90 percent white and mostly rural, so it seemed like a tough challenge for a Black candidate from Chicago.
Barack rarely campaigned alongside her because he had other places he needed to be, so Michelle had to...
PDF Summary Chapters 19-20: Inauguration and First Year in the White House
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Reflection
Michelle recalls thinking about the time she was headed to her new, high-achieving high school, and how she was gripped with doubt over whether she was good enough to compete with the other students. She applied the lesson she learned then—that confidence is an inner state of mind, one we sometimes have to conjure up. Was she "good enough" to be first lady? Yes, she was, she told herself.
New Chapters for Malia, Sasha, and Marian
Michelle found a new school in Washington, D.C. for Malia and Sasha to attend. It was the same Quaker school that Chelsea Clinton had attended when her father was President. The girls were driven to school in a motorcade accompanied by armed Secret Service agents, which made Michelle feel terrible—now that their dad was President, her girls couldn’t have a normal childhood.
Michelle worried about the girls nonstop on their first day of school, but they came home happy and looking forward to their new lives. Like typical kids, they seemed to take everything in stride.
Michelle's mother Marian, now 71 years old, moved to the White House with the Obamas. She didn't want to leave Chicago, but after pressure from Michelle...
PDF Summary Chapters 21-22: Balancing Public and Private Life (2009-2013)
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Michelle as Fashion Icon
At some point during Barack's campaign for President, the media started to pay attention to Michelle's clothes. While Barack could show up every day wearing the same dark suit and no one would ever notice, journalists commented nonstop on whether Michelle was wearing short sleeves or long sleeves, high heels or flats. At public appearances and press conferences, she was often asked, "Who made that dress?"
As first lady, Michelle's appearance was scrutinized even more. Fortunately, she loved fashion and loved dressing up. She became famous for mixing and matching designer couture with clothing she bought from J.Crew or Target.
Michelle had to pay for all her own clothes, except for couture gowns that designers loaned her for formal events, and that were later donated to the National Archives. (Shortform note: The Smithsonian Museum's First Ladies exhibit includes dresses worn by Frances Cleveland, Lou Hoover, Jacqueline Kennedy, Laura Bush, and Michelle Obama. It also displays the China patterns they chose for White House dinners.)
Most of the time, the press praised Michelle for her bold style, but there was criticism, too: On a family...
PDF Summary Chapter 23: Second Term in the White House (2011-2016)
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Mandela didn't speak more than a few words to Michelle and the girls—he was hard of hearing, and Michelle wasn't even sure he understood who they were. But still, Michelle left feeling humbled by the chance to gaze into the legendary man's eyes and say hello.
Reflection
On her flight back home to Washington, Michelle thought about how Mandela had sacrificed so much, but he wasn't bitter about it. He kept believing that somehow his sacrifices would be worthwhile, that his country would be better off because of them. He had to wait decades to see any progress, and yet he never gave up hope. She realized that she needed to learn to have the patience that he had. She needed to accept that change and progress happen slowly, and sometimes you just have to wait.
Michelle Campaigns for Barack
When she returned to the United States, Michelle campaigned for Barack's re-election. She felt certain that Barack could accomplish a lot if the voters gave him four more years. Although Michelle never relished campaigning, it seemed harder than ever because the Republicans were dead set on proving that Barack should not be re-elected. Their candidate, Mitt Romney, was...
PDF Summary Chapter 24 & Epilogue: The Obama Era Ends (2017)
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The girls understood that their father’s position placed on their shoulders a great deal of pressure and responsibility—if they made a mistake in public, it could be broadcast to the entire world. Michelle and Barack realized this was unfair—they had both engaged in typical teenage shenanigans like experimenting with cigarettes and alcohol, but they didn't have the whole world watching them.
Perhaps more invasive than all the public and media scrutiny were the people who would try to take photos of the girls when they were out in public. Even worse, people would sometimes ask—or demand—to take a selfie with one of the girls. Malia learned to respond by saying, "You do know I'm a child, right?"
Barack and Michelle declined all media requests for interviews with the girls. In 2008, they had allowed the girls to be interviewed for the TV show Access Hollywood when Barack was campaigning for President. Even though the show was harmless and the girls were utterly charming, Michelle always regretted putting their children on public display.
By the time the girls were teenagers, they were allowed to decide whether they wanted to attend White House events, including...