You’re a negotiator, even if you don’t know it. According to Herb Cohen in You Can Negotiate Anything, negotiation is the art of getting other people to do what you want—and all of us do that every day. Every time you discuss what TV show to watch with your family or decide who’s going to get lunch for the rest of the team, you’re negotiating.
Although the game of negotiation is an unavoidable part of daily life, Cohen notes that many people fail to understand the strategies that lead to victory—that is, desirable outcomes for you and the people you care about. Effective negotiation skills will help you accomplish any goal that involves interacting with other people. Thus, if you can master this game, you can use this power to create a better life for yourself and a better world for others.
Cohen is a corporate negotiator and professional speaker featured in Time, The Economist, and Playboy, the latter having referred to him as “the world’s best negotiator.” During the Carter and Reagan administrations, Cohen served...
Unlock the full book summary of You Can Negotiate Anything by signing up for Shortform.
Shortform summaries help you learn 10x better by:
Here's a preview of the rest of Shortform's You Can Negotiate Anything summary:
Many people think of negotiation as a ruthless showdown between competitors, but it doesn’t always have to be this way. Cohen asserts that the most productive negotiations are win-win, in which two parties work together to find a creative solution that’s better than what either would have come up with had they simply stated a list of demands. People are rarely fully aware of everything they want or of everything the other party is able to give them. In the process of negotiating terms and talking over various possibilities, both parties discover that they each have more to offer each other than they realize.
For example, imagine the owner of a multi-industry conglomerate wants to acquire a newsworthy 3D printing startup. However, the CEO of the printing firm refuses, wanting to retain as much control over their company as possible. Although this seems to be an impasse, the two parties agree to meet for a negotiation. Over the course of their discussion, the two executives discover that the conglomerate CEO foresees rapid growth in the 3D printer industry and wants to profit from this prediction. The 3D printing CEO wants to make sure they can continue pursuing their...
Cohen contends that sometimes, it won’t be possible to craft a win-win negotiation. Some people aren’t interested in building trusting relationships: They want to be the only ones who win in a negotiation. They view any concession they can get from you as a victory and anything they must give up as a loss. They interpret win-win negotiation tactics (such as trusting them enough to share information) as a sign of weakness and will respond by trying even harder to take advantage of you.
When you’re negotiating with people who stubbornly cling to this win-lose mindset, you may have no choice but to try to beat them at their own game. To do this, you must learn strategies and psychological tricks that allow you to get as much from the other negotiator as you can while conceding as little as possible.
Cohen argues that even if you morally object to practicing some of these techniques, learning about them will help protect you against them. When you’re aware of the tricks an opposing negotiator is trying to pull on you, you’ll be able to avoid being swindled.
(Shortform note: In Talking to Strangers, Malcolm Gladwell...
This is the best summary of How to Win Friends and Influence People I've ever read. The way you explained the ideas and connected them to other books was amazing.
It’s unlikely that you’ll be able to form genuine trusting relationships with everyone you have to negotiate with, so it’s important to know the basics of win-lose negotiation. Think strategically about an upcoming win-lose negotiation to give yourself the best chance of securing a good deal.
Think of an upcoming event where you could use your negotiation skills, or a hypothetical negotiation you can imagine yourself conducting in the next few months. Who are you negotiating with, and what do you hope to get from them? (For example, perhaps you have a budget meeting coming up at work and want to secure your department a bigger budget for the upcoming year. You’re negotiating with your boss, and you want at least a $20,000 budget increase over last year.)